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Bsd Sigma x reader crackfic (with mild fluff here and there) prompt:

Baking cookies together. Reader may or may not mess some stuff up according to his/her/their cooking skills. Sigma, despite his exasperation, nevertheless will help reader if he/she/they mess up a bit. But yk what he'll never be able to put up with? Nikolai.

Enter Nikolai, professionally chaotic third-wheel who is ready to make the rest of Sigma's hair turn white. Then they'll match ig. Lolololololol.

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BSD as animals doing shenanigans

Kunikida - You boarded the metro to commute to work, turned to sit down, when you noticed a few people backing away from you and heard a click on the floor. A crow holding a twig had jumped off from your backpack - it uses the metro to quickly travel from the orchards to its nest in a suburb park, and vice versa.

Ranpo - the raccoon that messed around with several locks in your garage once, and later turned up in the governor's postbox. They couldn't surprise - grab him since he was flossing his teeth with a confidential appointment letter.

Atsushi - Your cat who climbed inside a pillowcover and pretended to be the pillow over your head so he wouldn't have to bathe. Which worked well until you woke up, put the pillow aside, went crazy trying to find him, and when you plopped back on the bed to make a call, you tossed him aside and heard him screech. Thankfully he was able to land on his paws.

Akutagawa - the sucker fish you spotted in your aquarium one day - you hadn't ever bought one, and had no idea it was there. It hides in a nook between the stones and flashes out to lick at sand debris. When a curious fish attempts to enter it spits out a sandstorm. Your cat Atsushi stuck his paw inside once and got a 500 kilometre per second muck - bullet in the eye. Akutagawa is grumpy but otherwise a very peaceful, harmless inhabitant so you decide to let it stay.

Dazai - It was midnight, you decided to have a snack sitting on your porch, staring at the countryside. As you were about to grab the electric lantern to switch it on, you heard an ear - splitting shriek. The lantern's hatch was half - open and there was a barn owl inside, staring at you with bulging yellow eyes, feasting on an assortment of insects. You kept the lantern back, slipped behind the door and stupidly poked it with an umbrella - until the owl grabbed a live lizard from your wall and sent it flying splat into your forehead.