Taehyung’s grip on the soaked sheets tightened, another loud wail emitting from his open mouth as his eyes screwed shut. A dip in the bed beside him let him know someone had made their way into his bedroom.
“Taehyung.” A hand landed softly on his shoulder as Yoongi spoke. “Taehyung you have to get up at some point.” Mumbling, Taehyung shook his head, holding the blanket closer to him. Sighing, the rapper moved, lying down beside the younger so he could look him in the eye. Taehyung’s face was pale, tears seeming to endlessly stream down his cheeks, leaving marks, his nose slightly red. Finally, Taehyung opened his eyes to look at the rapper. Sniffling, he let out a whimper.
“I lost her. I let her go. I made her feel like I didn’t love her, like she wasn’t good enough. I told her I didn’t want to marry her when she was in her wedding dress. How can I get up after I did something that stupid?” Sighing, Yoongi’s shoulders dropped.
“You can’t.” Taehyung wasn’t expecting the rapper’s bluntness. Not when the others had tried with empty promises and false hopes.
“Thanks hyung.” Mumbling, Taehyung turned over, his grip still tight, though his tears had stopped momentarily.
“Tae. I didn’t mean...Look, Y/N is hurting just now. She’s supposed to be on her honeymoon just now.”
“You don’t think I’m hurting just now? I’m supposed to be with her.”
“You caused this.” Yoongi hadn’t come into this expecting to be harsh. But seeing Taehyung wallow in self pity hit something in Yoongi. Something that was strengthened by the words you had said when he went to visit you. “I saw her.” At that Taehyung turned around, sitting up slightly.
“You did?” Nodding, Yoongi sighed, knowing his next words would give the younger hope. Hope that he didn’t deserve.
“She misses you. In some twisted way she thinks it’s her fault.”
“Does that mean...” Before he could finish Yoongi shook his head, already knowing what direction the question was taking.
“She’s not taking you back.” As Taehyung’s shoulders dropped in disappointment, Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed, anger rising in him. “Taehyung you humiliated her. You ran and made her walk out sobbing to tell everyone. We didn’t even know! We could of talked you down, let you see reason.”
“I did what I felt was right.”
“And what good has it done?” Letting out a huff, Yoongi got up, quickly storming out the room. Taehyung’s head landed quickly on his pillow as he curled up once more, allowing tears to start falling.
It seemed to mock you. The table piled with presents, the cards still on every surface you and Taehyung could find. The one word repeated on every card, filling you with the same emotion every time you read it. The television played a shaky fancam of ‘Singularity’, the same video that had been on repeat since your second breakdown.
You had probably gained a couple of pounds since that day. Pounds that consisted of chocolate ice cream and nothing else. It was worse sitting at home, you’d rather be at work. But you had booked a couple weeks off of work, and you weren’t going to turn ‘round and tell them what happened. You didn’t need to see another group of people full of shock and sympathy. You didn’t want to have to go through the words of ‘kindness,’ listening to people who never expected it. Like you were supposed to know, like you were supposed to see the signs. Maybe you should have, but you truly couldn’t think of anything that would have told you how he felt.
A sniffle escaped you as you grabbed the remote from the coffee table, only to switch to a video focusing on Taehyung singing ‘Make it Right.’ Your engagement ring still sat on your finger. Taking that off would mean it was officially over, and you weren’t sure if you’re heart could take that admission.
His clothes still lay in the closet, his toothbrush still beside yours. Your apartment screamed of him. It made you chuckle slightly, after what he did he was too much of a coward to collect his things, to face what he did. You should have asked Yoongi to take them to him when he visited you. The rapper had been great, allowing you to cry to him, not commenting when you switched to your second tub of ice cream and fifth tissue box. Thinking of the rapper reminded you to text him, telling him you had eaten that day.
He hated this. The screams of the fans were too much, coming at him from all angles, making him feel on show. He was waiting. Waiting for the moment he knew was coming. The moment he was asked about you, asked about why there was no pictures, why he was with BTS in an interview instead of with you in another country. Hiding his exhausted eyes behind the sunglasses, he turned to face the leader as he placed a comforting hand on his arm, guiding him into the building.
“You have to be prepared.”
“I know.” Taehyung mumbled, looking at the leader through the mirror as he got his makeup done.
“I’m being serious Taehyung.”
“Fuck sake, I know Namjoon!” He raised his voice, sitting up and turning to face Namjoon. The makeup artist stepped back slightly, her arm still raised in position as she held the brush that had just been working on the dark circles under his eyes. Sighing, Taehyung slumped back into his chair, his head in his hand.
“I know.” He whispered, trying to fight back tears. “I’ll make up an excuse like I promised, I won’t let the whole world know I left her at the altar.” Even now, the words of what he had done tasted bitter in his mouth. Namjoon nodded, his eyes softening as he noticed the tears welling up in the younger’s eyes.
“Look, you don’t have to do this interview. We can fake an injury, say something came up and you had to do something else. You don’t have to face this yet.” Taehyung shook his head.
“I have to.”
The interviewer was smart. Taehyung had to give him that. The attention he gave Taehyung was only so he could ask him the big question at the end. The smiles and laughter he pointed in Taehyung’s direction was only so he had a better chance of receiving an answer.
Taehyung almost thought the question wouldn’t come. He could see the interviewer’s people telling him to ask a final question. Usually, it’s asking what they planned to do next, with Namjoon giving the same answer almost robotically. This time however, the interviewer turned to face Taehyung, making him hold his breath.
“So V, everyone was expecting their Twitter to be full of wedding photos. What happened?” His heart pounding, Taehyung looked to Namjoon as he shakily took the mic from Jimin. Somehow managing to keep his voice steady, Taehyung cleared his throat.
“A family emergency came up so we had to delay it. We’re sorry for any disappointment felt.” He could see the interviewer about to ask a follow up question before he was cut off by another staff member. Standing up, he left the mic on the chair as he waited for Namjoon to shake the interviewer’s hand, leading the boys out of the room.
In an instant Taehyung collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks as his mouth gaped open, unintelligible sounds escaping him. He was pulled from leaning against the wall and into Jimin’s arms as the elder, tried to soothe him. He whimpered in protest as the six men tried to get him to stand up, to hold onto some part of his dignity. The camera that usually followed them around was gone, so were the staff, leaving him alone with his best friends.
With one look to each other, they all dropped to their knees, forming a half circle around the second youngest.
“I need her. I need her to know I still love her.” His voice was high pitched, full of despair as he buried his head against Jimin’s chest, allowing the others to silently pull him into a group hug.
“Taehyung.” Your voice was a whisper as you found yourself looking at the man who left you at the altar. He wore an oversized jumper, the sleeves too long. The bags under his eyes were highlighted by his extremely pale face. He had the same look in his eyes as that day in your hotel room. The same nervous glint.
“Can we talk?” His voice was unsure, almost like he was speaking before he truly thought things through. Silently, you nodded, stepping aside so he could enter. His eyes instantly landed on the cards and the presents. Taking a seat on the sofa, one leg under you, you turned to face him.
“I take it you’re here to get your stuff?” Shaking his head, Taehyung gulped. As he opened his mouth to speak, his eyes dropped to your left hand.
“You still wear it.” Tilting your head in confusion, you finally realised what he was talking about. Looking to the diamond, you sighed.
“Yeah. I don’t have the heart to remove it.” At the flash of hope on Taehyung’s face you shook your head, your eyes softening.
“It doesn’t mean anything Taehyung.” Holding back tears, Taehyung sniffled, muttering an ‘of course.’ Pretending to care what time it was, he looked at the clock.
“Guess I should get my stuff.” He would pretend that’s why he was there. He couldn’t bare rejection, to have those feelings crashing over him all over again, only ten times worse as he would realise there was nothing he could do.
“Yeah.” You whispered out. “I think I have some cardboard boxes somewhere.” Faking gratitude, Taehyung gave a small smile as he made his way to the bedroom while you went to find the boxes.
Taehyung had been a while. You had found a couple of boxes, silently placing them on the bed next to the clothes Taehyung had pulled out of the closet. Muting the television, you couldn’t hear any sounds coming from the bedroom.
Slowly, you walked into the room, only to stop suddenly in the doorway. Taehyung was sat on the bed, his head in his hands as his shoulders shook violently. Walking to the bed, you quickly sat down, hesitantly pulling Taehyung into a hug, allowing him to cry into your chest as tears quickly rolled down your cheeks, landing on his head.
“I’m so sorry.” He mumbled, his sobs becoming more vocal. You couldn’t say it was okay, you couldn’t comfort him. All you could do was squeeze your eyes shut, as you tried to steady your breath.
You should have known he would be here. He was his friend too. Though to be fair to you, you had forgotten about the wedding until a couple weeks ago when someone asked if you’d figured out your outfit. It had been a month since you last saw him. The last time being in a supermarket at 3am, both of you buying junk food.
However, sitting here drumming your fingers on the covered table while nursing a flute of champagne, you wished you’d been able to avoid going all together. He wore a suit, his hair neater than when he arrived at your apartment, though there were still bags under his eyes.
As the pop song came to an end, you cursed silently as a slow song started, couples starting to go to the dance floor. You had heard more than enough slow songs this evening but this one was different. It was your song. The song you and Taehyung had planned for your first dance. Watching him stiffen as the first few notes played, you knew he recognised it too. What you didn’t expect was for him to make his way over to you.
“Care to dance?” A nervous smile was on his lips as he outstretched his arm.
“Please.” Sighing, you gave in, taking his hand as you stood up, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor. His hands found your waist quickly as your arms wrapped around his neck. Letting out a shaky breath, you placed your head in the crook of your neck.
Taehyung closed his eyes as he felt a tear fall onto the skin just above his collar.
Slowly, you moved around the dance floor, tears rolling down both of you and Taehyung’s cheeks. Both of you thinking the same thought. How much you wished it could be your wedding.
