#buckasagirl

[buckasagirl]

buck’s backyard + a buckling <3

[buckasagirl]

“you’re gonna be okay.”

[buckasagirl]

Something about everyone, Everyone, coming together for Buck. Every time. The loneliest character. Lives alone. No kids. No partner. Eddie’s paired with Hen, Buck is paired with Ravi, except Ravi’s paired with Harry. He searches for ghosts in his empty house and when that doesn’t work he holes himself in his kitchen to bake by himself.

He’s stuck alone underneath a firetruck. He’s alone in a burning factory. He dangles, alone, from the ladder where no one can reach him. He takes pills in the dark when Eddie and Chris leave and goes through withdrawals alone. At first. Because despite all of that, he is also the person who brings everyone together. Every. Time. And what is he if not the heart of everything?

[buckasagirl]

buck's backyard <3

[buckasagirl]

that’s her probie

[buckasagirl]

Thinking about Eddie who said, “You got the family you’re born into and the one you choose. Well, that’s what the 118 is, the family we chose.” And who said, “It’s the thing that ties us all together, so that no one person has to carry the weight alone.” And how he’s so aware of what this community means to him and he never forgets it. Because he left El Paso looking for his people and he found them and will never not appreciate them for giving him what he was missing. He remembers every birthday. He shows up to every dinner, every outing, every crisis. He keeps in touch even when he’s miles and miles away. Sometimes he can be mean and fight and lash out, but when he apologizes (and he always does, in his own way) it’s not just an “I’m sorry,” it’s something that comes from a true love and care for his people. It’s checking in on Bobby and helping him through his guilt about Jonah. It’s bringing over Christopher and Pepa to be with Buck when they’re grieving. He’s very thoughtful when it comes to that family dynamic, and so secure in his place within it, and for someone who spent so long not being a good enough son, not being a good enough husband, it’s so special that he has his family where he belongs as himself and knows it. And is confident enough in it to remind everyone else when they need it and to consistently put it into words the way he does.

[buckasagirl]

i wouldn't mind right here (no, i wouldn't mind at all) by buckasagirl T | 6.8k | buddie

“I was… I was supposed to be finding my joy.” “Did it work?” Buck asks. “That was the start of it, took a while… but… I found it now.” He loosely wraps a hand around Buck’s wrist, holding on. “That’s good, that’s really good, buddy.” “It’s been really good, I’ve been so good,” Eddie continues, “So it’s okay.” Oh– Buck’s breath hitches. He thinks he’s going to die. “I’ve made my peace with it.” Eddie nods ever so slightly. “I got to be happy for a while.” “Stop that. You can be happy for the rest of your life, Eddie.” Buck moves his hand from where it cradles Eddie’s head, to his pulse point where he holds his fingers to feel the thready beating, then cards them through Eddie’s hair again. “The rest of your long life, because we’re getting out of here. Together.” “Together…” Eddie mumbles, smiling slightly, “Together would be nice.”

Or, Buck finds Eddie in the elevator. (9x18 spec)

[buckasagirl]

The way Eddie’s “you’re gonna be okay” got softer and softer each time he said it until it was just a gentle little thing — yeah.