close enough to be your ghost
buck/athena grief sex | 6.8k | rated e
Buck comes over more often after that. More formally, though: dinner and wine. He quickly realizes he’s the only person from the 118 she’s spending time with. When Hen complains about Athena refusing to come to dinner, Buck bites his tongue. When Chimney says Athena shut the door in his face before he could even say a word, Buck says nothing. When the first Bachelor Monday rolls around and Buck realizes he’s seeing Athena more than her kids are, he feels a pang of guilt, but he still stays quiet. A sick, greedy sort of honor settles low in his stomach about being chosen. He’s not going to do anything that could fuck it up. He needs to see her. She reminds him of Bobby. She was so much of Bobby’s life, his joy. This is who Bobby came home to after every shift. This is the life that Bobby built for himself out of nothing, out of ashes. Buck doesn’t deserve to slot into it, but cooking in Athena’s kitchen—seeing the look that comes into her eyes when he wears Bobby’s apron—is slowly starting to heal something inside of him. He can’t be Bobby, but he can slip his feet into Bobby’s too-big shoes and walk around a little if it will make Athena smile.
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