#bucky would

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

found the original dialogue pt 2

[extrabigsuperlargeboobs]

bucky: i have a joke

sam: okay

bucky: knock knock

sam: who’s there?

bucky: marry

sam: marry who?

bucky, getting down on one knee: marry me

[astarryon]

The Avengers as John Mulaney Jokes (1/?)

[wardog-of-whimsy]

Bucky *Texting Sam*: I pretend they’re you and hold them under until the bubbles stop. :)

[screeetime]

Bucky: Steve duck!

Steve: *throws himself at the floor*

Bucky: what are you doing?!?

Bucky: You missed it!

Steve: *confused*

Bucky: ... there was a cute duck

Steve: ...

[phdna]

"MAYBE BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T PUT BRICKS INSIDE A PILLOW AND PROCEED TO HIT THEIR BEST FRIEND WITH IT?????" COME ON, It's BUCKY we're talking about. IF THERE'S ONE PERSON WHO'D KEEP A BRICK INSIDE A PILLOW, TRUST ME, IT'S BUCKY.

“Why’d you keep a brick in your pillow, Buck?” 

“What if somebody tries to kill me in my sleep?” 

“You sleep with a gun under your pillow. AND a knife.” 

“Yeah, so does everybody else. Element of surprise, Steve, I’m tellin’ ya. If those bastards get anywhere near me, I’m game.”