Burned out from this digital world
I am so incredibly tired of the digital world we're forced to live in. I'm tired of having to always be available. People getting up and arms for not not getting immediate responses. Perceiving silence as animosity. Man, that last part especially. People asking "are you mad at me?" if I don't reply to a message fast enough. They tell me they miss me but don't make the plan to get together. They expect ME to pick the date, time, and location. I'd give them my availabilities, and when I ask what days would work, I'd get "whenever," and "whatever you want to do" or "You can come over anytime." SO INVITE ME OVER. I'm not going to just show up at your apartment/house unannounced. And why should I be the one to choose the date and time if YOU'RE the one who said you miss me??? On top of that, I don't have the mental capacity to constantly socialize and text people anymore. I'm in two bands, in at least 17 different group chats across various social media platforms, and work 40 hours a week. 98% of those 40 hours consist of me being confined to a desk and staring at a computer screen, responding to "urgent" emails every single day. Constant notifications day in and day out. 24 hours a day. And when I get stressed, I turn to the various social media apps for my dopamine fix...it's ruined me. Mindlessly checking apps even though I just opened them 20 seconds before, and all I wanted to do was check the time. And I didn't see what time it was even though I just looked at my phone. Even when my phone is DEAD, I catch myself grabbing it to check for notifications. I can't do this anymore.
