My name is Fatima and I am currently studying at the American University of Dubai in the UAE. I am majoring in Studio Art and minoring in Advertising.
Purdah doesn’t have one, definitive meaning. To me, it means to keep yourself covered, from an Islamic perspective. But it could also indicate purdah of the eyes, similar to censorship. Purdah is interpreted differently in various cultures. At the basic level, I feel purdah exists in all religions, signifying modesty in dressing.
Hijab, for me, was a trend. Today, especially, it is a way to accessorize yourself. Not everyone is wearing hijab for religious reasons. I have an on and off relationship with it.
It’s there.
Then it’s not there.
Then it’s there again.
It keeps shifting.
I started wearing it when I was 10 years old along with my best friends. They kept it on for about a month. I went on to wear it for three years. When I realized that this is not just an accessory, and there is a huge Islamic element linked to it, it began to feel forced. I didn’t understand what it meant to wear a hijab. Suddenly I couldn’t wear shorts and dresses, because apparently that’s not something you do when you wear a hijab, or so society says. I got sick of the pressure I began to feel and took it off.
I later adopted the hijab again at the age of 20. I was an adult, and I understood the practice better. There is a lot of baggage that comes with wearing a hijab. Society begins to perceive you in a certain way and limitations are placed on you. I wore it fashionably, in contemporary ways, and yet again found myself crushed under the weight of wearing the hijab. As soon as the self-imposed, society influenced restrictions became suffocating, I took it off again.
I know of many women that are forced to wear it and the moment they are away from their parents or spouses, they remove their scarves and body cloaks. I see this quite a bit in Dubai. At the same time I also know women who wear it merely as a fashion accessory. I am against forced modesty. I believe every woman should be given a choice in the matter.
I used to believe that if you wear a hijab, people won’t look at you in a disrespectful way. I believed that people would behave in a more decent manner, respecting the Islamic element behind hijab and other veils. Unfortunately, I faced a lot of indecency. Every time I stepped out of the house with the hijab veiling my hair, I suddenly became centre stage and the focus of everyone’s attention. I did not like it. I began to think that perhaps taking it off would be a better decision and people would not be curious to look at me.
I have realized that veiling or unveiling makes no difference. Whatever society we live in, men feel entitled to look at the female body and project their fantasies on it. If they had a chance they would look right through our clothes too.
I do feel that maybe in a few years I might return to wearing the hijab. My relationship with this cloth is not closed off. I want to understand it. I want to investigate it. I want to research it. I want to interpret it in my own way. For example, my mother wears it for health reasons. No doubt, she is a religious woman and a practicing Muslim, but I feel she wears it mostly to keep air out of her ears and neck area. Whatever the case may be, she has experience, she has traveled the world, she researches Islam quite deeply and can make more mature decisions regarding veiling practices than I can at this stage.
Veiling is a personal choice. Just because someone is covering their hair or wearing a niqab or burqa, does not signify that they are terrorists or hiding bombs underneath their cloaks and garments. You cannot take a small percentage of terrorists and stereotype more than a billion Muslims.
Women must have the freedom to choose to veil. I am against burqini bans as much as I am against state imposed veiling. Both are unacceptable and a huge violation of the rights of women and their freedom.
© Mariam Magsi
