Mar 29, 2023
uhoh, theres a cat. sebastian, try to not get distracted
seen from Spain
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from China
seen from Finland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Malaysia
seen from France
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
uhoh, theres a cat. sebastian, try to not get distracted
Billy: "Huh. My twin just got sucked into a portal to hell."
Billy: "Oh dammit. I forgot to text Teddy."
Day 16 & 17: Meetings. Breathe. And Back on Track.
Okay, so for day before and yesterday (and apparently tonight) my sleeping habits have not been bettered.
I'll just quickly sum up my feelings for the past 2 days:
Energy still flagging. Or maybe at least my certainty and mood. (That being said, still grateful, hopefully image still mostly positive. But being tired makes me slow. Dang.) Yesterday had a meeting about the singing contest, and today had weekly meeting about classes.
Which, btw, reminds me of the positive: that I am gaining ownership of the work. I am starting to understand more of these profits and students things. Yes.
Today I also spoke up at the meeting. I am ultimately glad I spoke up, although obviously afterwards I reflected and realized I could have tweaked the way I spoke. A few things:
1) I don't want to say "sorry" or apologize.
2) I do not want to highlight my differences, or give an excuse for the person I am suggesting things to, to make it easier for them to reject my idea(s).
3) Speak less words, more directly. Be calmer, surer, and stay polite. Better than what I do now: which is speak clumsily and deferentially. Let me be frank: I care about the power of my suggestion and words, or the portrayal of myself. (I am not looking to be powerful, but nor do I want to be easily overwhelmed. I don't want to be a weak person. That is not my goal. My goal is to make people comfortable, at least it always has been. But again, if something I say is legitimate and that makes them uncomfortable... then it's not my fault. Stay polite and respectful to all responses, of course.)
Anyway, that's it for now. My energy and mood has been dipping maybe because the initial fire is gone. I'm glad of it: now is the first hurdle, the beginning of the slow burn. The true test. And I will pass it. Excellently.
As Seth Godin says, the moment for your mind to change is only that: a moment. Time to breathe in.
Fire renewed. I can do this.