Ok wip snip because I *think* (I say for the 8000th time) I’m at the final stages of chapter 2 . So here is some sad insecure grieving Jeremy :
He thinks of Jean after each of the ravens’ deaths, thinks of how adamantly he claimed to have hated them, and how he still grieved them anyway. He thinks of the Trojans, of how Jean finally started treating them as his own team; of how he called Cat and Laila and Jeremy friends, how he said he’d choose them every time.
What would happen to him, now that something had happened to one of them?
What would happen to him, now that Jeremy could no longer be his partner?
Jeremy isn’t dead, but he might as well be as far as Jean is concerned. To Jean, there is no point in socializing with people outside of the team, and Jeremy would be off the court for the rest of the year. He’d never play exy again. And isn’t that the primary reason Jean stuck so close to him?
Jeremy had known, long before Jean, that he could never keep a man like him. He’d known, long before Jean, that he didn’t deserve to. But then, why did his chest feel caved in at the thought?
He imagines Jean, downstairs, alone and distraught, sitting in a waiting room surrounded by people he doesn’t know. Imagines Jean, who’d thrown Bryson through a windshield for simply showing up; who’d stood with him at the banquet despite not knowing what he’d done; who wanted Faser’s name for bruising him, and tries to imagine letting the man go.
But he can’t. He—doesn’t want to.
