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„where should I go

when I‘m not even feeling at home

in my own body?“

-homesick

Dear Charlie,

I believe in love but love is hurting me

C.N

#dear charlie #c.n

it‘s almost a year

since i saw you walking out the door;

the door to a place

i used to call home

just because you where living with me.

3 days later you left

and i haven‘t seen you since then.

our home became a nightmare

i couldn‘t escape.

i wasn’t able to lay on the couch for months

because it felt empty

without your body next to mine.

i didn‘t sleep

i didn‘t eat

because you weren‘t there

to make those walls a place to live,

to sit on that table to make food taste like a meal.

the day i moved out ,

i thought i could leave behind

the ghost of you

hounting me

but i couldn‘t;

parts of you are always in the room,

within me.

Burning in my veins,

living inside my bones,

in every cell i own.

you left fingerprints on my soul

i wish i could wash away when i take a shower.

a broken heart,

an empty mind in a walking body

that‘s still trying to put the loose pieces together.

it‘s been a year without you

and even though i have a new home now,

i still feel homeless without you.

- 365 days and i still miss you

„sometimes loving someone with all your heart,

means letting them go,

even though it hurts on places,

you‘ve never felt pain before.

sometimes love means,

setting the other person free,

so they can live in happiness,

even though sadness moves in to you,

the day they leave.

sometimes moving on is the greatest act of love,

even though you’d feel better,

with taking a step back again.

sometimes love means,

not getting loved back but,

thats okay because;

putting someone else’s bliss before your own disire,

is the most purest, rarest and deepest love a person can feel for another.

- c.n // sometimes love means, being happy because they‘re happy, even though you‘re not the reason for it

I know

you think you‘re complicated

but

did you ever saw great things being easy?

I choose your chaos

over every tidiness I can get.

I choose storms and rain

over a sweet summerbreeze,

lightning and thunder

over sun

and

I choose you

in a million lifes

all over again.

-c.n

„Some people don‘t need hands to touch you. Some kiss your soul with words softer than any mouth ever did. They let flowers bloom in the darkest parts of your body just because of some sentences, spilled out of nowhere. Some only need eyes to get you; whether its hazel brown, that reminds you of chocolate or cristal blue, where you could drown in. And just by one look stars collaps into planets and suddenly you feel a whole universe crashing beneath your rips. Some only need a smile to kindle a fire inside of you, that could burn down a city; while others need matches to inflame a little spark between your heart and stomach. Some people need no hands and still, you can feel them all over your body.“

-c.n