Sometimes I think about watching that episode live ("live") and having to stop half-way through because it was past midnight and I was already so dehydrated from tears so I had to go to sleep thinking Occtis just. wasn't coming back, we weren't going to see him again, and that was that. And it's interesting because I remember c2ep26 and it devastated me because Molly was also one of my favorites. And I remember other times where I've seen characters die without real chances of coming back, and not a single one of them did I react as strongly as I did with Occtis. I'm autistic, my special interests and favorite characters have been everything to me since I could have a favorite character. Never have I had such a reaction. And idk I just love Occtis so much and it's weird because it's only been like a month but I love him and he's my son and I'm going to stop being emotional on rp now