Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh'ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy-washy. Blah blah. Don't let someone steal your tenderness. Don't allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.
That quote is one of my favorite quotes, a gem that I found in one of my least favorite collection of quotes: Pinterest. Long story short, there's a lot of body image-hating quotes on Pinterest. It's depressing.
But I digress. The reason I love that quote from Zooey Deschanel is not because of her blue doe eyes or her fabulous vintage fashion, but because it's a belief I have adopted rather recently yet resonates with a ferocity of a sleeper spy's mission.
As a woman that continually strives to be the complete opposite of Carrie Bradshaw's pathetic character from Sex and the City (other than the whole "employed by a great publication" aspect), I used to believe that I had to be a tough, icy bitch to get my voice heard. If I wasn't stepping on some toes and crushing some balls, I wasn't getting shit done. It's a reality that me, my sister, and our female bosses face every day in the work place.
But a truly empowered woman should not have to accept the world and all its illogical flaws, simply blowing it off as "reality." I don't have to settle for this current reality. I don't have to settle for anything. I can have the cake and eat it too. (Side note: never really understood who would not eat a cake they already possess.)
I want to be nice to my coworkers, because that's how I want to be treated. That's what I was taught as a child, and I think it's a great philosophy. Why does that make me a weak, insipid woman? I think it's a positive quality for any leader or team member. But I've been so afraid that I won't be taken seriously if I am nice, considerate, or wear some lovely lace tops. Well screw you "reality." Screw you for warping common courtesy and human decency into something terrible. Screw you for creating this catch 22 where nice women are ignored but loved for bringing cupcakes to the meetings, and bitches are begrudgingly promoted but hated by the entire office. Reality, you get worse by the day.
My New Year's resolution was that I will be the change I wish to see in the world. Therefore I will no longer partake in your mind games anymore.
I will have the cake, and I will eat it too. I will be sensitive yet confident, tender yet respected, and I will be a great listener yet a fearless leader.
