Going, Going, Gone
Word count: 1,856
Pure angst, my pure heart is hurt.
Obviously some things are distorted.
(GIF creds to owner.)
Tour was supposed to be fun or whatever, but then again I wasn’t the one who was singing. I wasn’t the one who gets to be around thousands of hyped up people. I wasn’t the one who did the meet and greets.
I don’t want to sound like an attention hog, but I was not the one who had Calum’s attention. I knew that I wouldn’t always be when I first got here after their second leg of the tour started, it’s just that Calum was ecstatic to be around me. As time went on, I was just kind of there like a coat-hanger, useful sometimes but in the way.
We have just started to argue more and bicker about stupid stuff. I knew the guys were picking up on it and I tried to just let it go, but I couldn’t. I hated that they heard all the arguing and how it didn’t seem like Cal was here for me.
The quick wind that pushed past me had snapped me out of my trance, I look up to see Calum had walked past me to get some coffee from the little deck towards the corner of the bus. “Good afternoon,” I mumble quietly and twirl my thumbs. “Yeah.” He replies in a monotone voice, per usual.
We were up bickering most of the night and I didn’t like it, but what was I gonna do? Neither of us had apologized for a fight in so long that I didn’t even feel like we were the same Calum and y/n that everyone knew.
“Good afternoon beautiful people!” Ashton came bounding down the hallway cheerfully, completely nosediving to jump his way beside me on the (very) small couch. Calum gave him a look and the sat on the other small couch in front of us. Ashton laid his head on my lap and completely ignored Calum’s glare.
His hair was slicked back and I kept flicking the one piece that was hanging over his forehead. “You should dye your hair,” I suggest as he was swatting my hand away. “What color?” He asks as he finally gave up trying to stop me. “Red. You’d like nice with red hair.” I think aloud and he just shrugs. “We’ll see. Maybe after the tour is over I will.” He says and then sits up.
“I’ll be outside walking if anyone needs me, just try not to,” Calum utters under his breath and then stomps towards the door. Ash and I give each other a look, this wasn’t the first time this week that he did this. “I’ve got him this time, it’s my turn,” I say and stand up from the couch.
I had to basically jump off the last step because it always seemed so high, usually, Cal would laugh but he hasn’t recently. He hasn’t done a lot of things recently. He had just made it past the back of the bus, he was still walking straight ahead. Luckily, there were no fans in sight.
When I finally get behind him, I tug his jacket slightly. “Calum, just stop for a second.” I plead and he comes to a halt, turning very abruptly. “What the fuck do you want?” He snaps and my eyes widen. “Jesus, what is wrong now?” I roll my eyes.
“You! You’re always so lovey-dovey towards Ashton and you never fucking care about me! Why the fuck would you even come on this tour if you didn’t plan on caring about me and just fucking being around everyone else all the time?” He yells and I signal my hand for him to be quieter and I point towards the bus still being fairly close to us.
“You had the chance to ask him to move. You had the chance to act that way with me any fucking time. This is not my fault Calum, you’re the one constantly bringing up shit that doesn’t make sense. At least your best friends are more caring about me than you are.” I snarl and he just laughs. He fucking laughs!
I wanted to rip that pretty little smirk off of his face.
“You’re right, they care more about you than I do nowadays. Just because I invited you here doesn’t mean that everyone fucking wants you here right now. Fuck off!” He says emotionless and I feel my heart break a little. I guess it’s one thing to not feel wanted by your peers but another thing to not be wanted by your boyfriend.
“I-uh. Yeah, well I just wanted to check on you. Ash mentioned something about an interview in 20 minutes.” I lie about Ashton saying it, I just memorized the schedule this morning at 3 am after our fight so I could distract myself.
I just try to pull all the tears back in and turn around as quick as I could so he wouldn’t see my eyes becoming glassy.
I keep my head low as I walked onto the bus and the guys tried to speak but I just wave them off. “Cal said he’d be done with his walk soon so you guys could leave for the interview.” I lie, once again, and go to the empty spare bunk bed to lay down.
“Change in interview stuff guys, the interviewers have moved the production of it to the actual arena. They want to do a backstage thing with you guys before the show, so they thought it would be easier to just start off the day here. They’re going to be setting up and I’ll give you the call when they’re done. Tell Calum.” I couldn’t pick up whose voice it was because of how far back this bunk was, but I just let the guys do their own rejoicing thing. God knows I’m a bother to them.
—-
The guys had left for their interview like 15 minutes ago and I was currently doing my annual sweep of the venue. I liked to do this so the night of the concert when things were more hectic, I could do my own thing and know where everything was.
I accidentally found myself at the section of the venue where the interview was being placed, I stopped in my tracks so quick. I slowly walked backward and just stood behind everyone and listened in. No one knew I was there, per usual.
“So love guys? What are we feeling about that subject?” The girl from the interviewer asks. “I don’t believe in love anymore, all I love is Duke and music,” Calum says something first and my heart literally shattered. “So you and your girlfriend aren’t in love anymore?” The interviewer sounded intrigued.
“Of course we’re in love, we’ve been together for 2 years.” He says quickly and I shake my head, tears begin to brim my eyes. Being together for 2 years isn’t exactly the reason to be in love. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be around Calum anymore.
I wipe off any sign of tears and I tap Jakes shoulder (the guy who was in charge of flights and hotels) and he turns around quickly. Jake was a complete jokester, we all absolutely loved this guy. “Hey, sweet girl.” He says and it probably sounds weird, but he’s like 50 and a hero.
I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and upset, but he smiled at me anyway. “I need you to cancel any flights or hotel rooms for me, I’m going home,” I say and his nose scrunches up. “Are you sure? Have you spoke to Calum?” He asks as he gets his phone out of his back pocket.
“Yeah, we spoke. Thanks, Jake!” I say and hug him slightly, I turn around and sniffle quickly. I start to walk away but someone tugs my shoulder lightly.
“Oh, hey Mitchy.” I smile warmly and he gives me a look. “I heard you speaking to Jake. You’re leaving?” He asks and I nod quickly. “Calum knows, I just need some time for myself.” I lie and he chuckles.
“You still suck at lying.” He jokes and I shrug. “It doesn’t matter where I am at, Calum wouldn’t care.” I groan and Mitchy scrunched his eyebrows. “Calum loves you and he’s probably just going through something. You can’t just leave without telling him.” He crosses his arms and I just roll my eyes.
“Mitch, I can just leave a note on his bed. If I know this guy pact that you guys have going on, you’ll end up telling him. So, please just wait until after the show. Please. I don’t want this to make the show weak and hurt the fans.” I beg and he nods. “Fine, but what should I tell him?” He asks.
“Tell him I’m staying with my sister, he’ll get the memo. Bye, congrats on hitting number 1 by the way.” I hug him quickly and had to literally jog away before I let my tears all out.
“Y/n! Y/n!” Fans were calling my name and I literally froze. How was I supposed to leave with suitcases and bags? I breathe in deeply, turn away and wipe my eyes. I take the sunglasses that were hanging off my shirt and put them over my eyes.
“Hey, guys!” I smile warmly at all of them and they were acting calm thank goodness. “Can we get a picture? If you’re not busy or anything.” They were so polite and it literally warmed my heart. There were only about 5 girls and they had all just been so cute while taking pictures. Then it hit me, I knew how to make sure they were gone so I could leave.
“Do you guys have ID on you?” I ask and they all nod. “Tell me your names,” I ask and I pull my phone out and text one of the guys in management. I send him their names and tell him that they have their ids to verify. I requested that they make it inside m&g because they were so nice. They respond with a thumbs up and I smile.
“You guys just scored some m&g tickets, just show them your ID. They all line up in 30 mins.” I say and they all had tears. “Thank you so much! We love you!” They all cried as they were basically running back towards the front.
I let my tears come back as I walked inside the bus. I write a quick note and lay it on Calum’s bed. I drag my suitcase out and put all my items back in. I get my pink bag and put all my items from the bathroom back in it. I look around and make sure that I had everything. I took one more deep breath as I called my sister, she could obviously hear the wavering in my voice but gladly said I could join her.
I book a flight back to my hometown and the flight leaves tonight.
I guess this is it. This is it.
Part 2 guys????















