#calumhoodmasterlist

[shittyfandomimagines]

Wedding Blues-CH

Been a hot minute since I’ve posted about this cutie 🥺

GIF creds to owner❤️

I did not edit or spell check this, so god pls forgive me😂

White laced gown, navy blue accents with a hint of maroon in the flower bouquet, champagne pink included into the reception hall and our gowns; I mean this wedding was like my dream come true.

I signed the guestlist for my friend's wedding, Adam and Alissa had been together for years, been my friends since college, so this was a long time coming.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” Calum’s voice shocked me, I turned around slowly to see him dressed in a white button up and black slacks. “It looks just as amazing as someone else does right now.” I look him up and down as he was standing in front of me. He rolls his eyes and reaches out for me.

I hug him the best I can without smearing my makeup on his shirt, him and Alissa would kill me both.

“Baby, you look just as amazing. This color makes you look... wow.” He sizes me up and I roll my eyes. “I’d love to stay and chit chat but the photos are about to start and I gotta go. Bridesmaids duties never end.” I joke and he rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but make sure to take some on a cell phone so I can update my lock-screen.” He winks and my heart melts. “I will, I love you.” I kiss his lips shortly and he smiles. “I love you more. See you inside, rockstar.”

-

“Do you think you’re ever gonna walk down that aisle with Calum? It’s been like 5 years now, hasn’t it?” Melissa asks while we lined up in front of the doors. “We’ve talked about it, sure. We’re both too busy for that now.”

“I mean it’s been this long, if he hasn’t committed to it yet, then he never will.” She says and my heart drops. “I don’t believe that.” I say and Melissa shrugs.

“I agree, it’s been this long.” Kennedy says from behind me, I felt like throwing up. I don’t know why I let them affect me this much. I don’t know if it’s the slight jealousy of this being the 3rd wedding we’ve attended in the past 2 months or if I’m just an insecure piece of shit, but either way, my heart was dead.

“Enough of that, it’s time to start.” The wedding planner cut us short as the doors opened slowly.

Everyone looked back at the three of us as we walked together with the groomsmen, I caught a glimpse of Cal smiling and winking at me, but I quickly looked away before I accidentally cried.

Soon, Alissa came in and the ceremony started. I would sneak glances at Calum and he’d be staring solely at me, which made me look away or put my head down.

I loved the thought of marriage with Calum more than anything, but it just was always the thing on the back burner. We haven’t even talked about marriage in at least 7 months.

What if it was true, that if he was to commit he would’ve done it by now. But he’s a super star, marriage obviously isn’t something that sells.

Maybe my life will as be that saying “always the bridesmaid but never the bride.”

——

The party really started when the mini bar opened up and I could get my hands on any type of liquor.

“You looked amazing up there.” I heard Calum’s voice before a hand wrapped around at my side.

“Thanks babe!” I tried to force a fake smile, but he saw right through me. “What’s wrong?” He asked and I shook my head. “Nothing I promise! I am just exhausted, I’ve been up doing this bridesmaid thing since 7 am. I’m sorry.” I pout slightly and he kissed my lips shortly.

“You sure?” He asks while moving my hair out of the way.

“Pinky promise.” I lie as I stick my pinky out to his while he connects.

“Do you want to catch a table together?” He asks and I shake my head. “Can’t, she put my placement card over at the head table.” I point and he frowns.

“She didn’t put you by Liam, did she?” He asks while winking at me, Liam was an old high school fling.

“No, he’s at the opposite end.” I smile softly and he just turns his head to the side a little, I saw so many wheels turning. “Okay well I’ll catch up with you at the first dance. Text me from up there, please. I miss you.” He kisses my forehead before walking over to an empty seat by our old friends.

I just felt like my life wasn’t as shiny as everyone else’s. I mean yeah I am dating the sweetest man on this planet, I have an amazing job, and I know he loves me but what if that’s just it? What if he doesn’t see a future with me and he is just blinded by it just being boring old us. What if he doesn’t want to marry me and that’s why he hasn’t asked by now? I’ve been to 3 weddings as the bridesmaid this year and I haven’t once considered that maybe I’m not good enough to be the bride.

I feel so happy for my friends because they just seem so happy, but what if I’m not cutting it for him anymore?

——

“Now it’s time for the ladies to gather around for the bouquet toss, come on girls!” I hear the DJ announce, I hadn’t even moved out of my seat since I sat down. I skipped the whole dancing thing, I could see Calum’s disappointment but I guess he didn’t mind too much.

“C’mon y/n, that means you too.” Alissa yells and I move to stand behind her, the crowd of women intoxicatedly happy.

“3, 2, 1!” The crowd yells but Alissa doesn’t throw the bouquet, she turns around slowly to hand it to Kennedy who was front and center. Kennedy seemed confused before she turns around to see her boyfriend, Grayson, on one knee.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!!!

They’ve been together for a whole year and they’re getting married before me? Someone better call Ashton Kutcher and the camera crew out here before I fucking lose it.

I roll my eyes before I march my happy ass back to my assigned seat. What the actual fuck?

——

“Baby?” Calum sounded upset behind me, I turn around to see him looking extremely exhausted. “Yeah!” I fake my happiness when I speak.

“I’m gonna head home, partying doesn’t feel like me tonight, so I’ll see you there. I know you’ve got a few more bridesmaid duties to do before you can go.” He sounded just as off as I did.

“Oh, yeah! I do. I’ll see you at home, don’t wait up for me.” I smile lightly and he nods.

He kisses my cheek softly before he walks out of the venue.

—

“Everyone, please give it up and say goodbye for a few days to the new mister and misses Adam Walker!” The DJ yells as the couple makes it to the venue doors. The 6 of us in the bridal party were lined up with them and their parents.

Alissa gave out hugs until she finally got to me. “You okay?” She asks and I nod shortly. “I am all bridesmaid out, I hope you have fun.” I give her a hug and she nods. “I will, tell Cal hi for us. Love y’all.” She said before turning away, was my pain that obvious or??

——

I finally made it home and my feet were beyond dead.

“Baby, is that you?” Calum’s voice called out, fuck. Fuck.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I put my keys down and then my purse.

I turn the corner and almost run flat into him, I apologize quietly and move towards the stairs.

“Did I say something today? Or do something?” Calum asks from behind me, I could hear the pain in his voice.

“No, it wasn’t you. I’m just tired.” I lie and take the first stair. “I believed that for a few minutes and I’m sure you are tired, but that’s not it. You’re avoiding me and you didn’t even text or dance with me. You just seem pissed off at the world or me, if it’s me then I am sorry.” His voice stops me, I slack my shoulders.

“You didn’t do or say anything Cal. Sorry.” I say as I make my way up the stairs before he stops me again, but it didn’t matter because he was up the stairs shortly after me.

“I hear you but I don’t feel you.” He says as he grabs my arm loosely. “It’s not anything you’ll understand because I don’t even understand it myself.” I sigh and face him, he physically softened a little at that but it didn’t last long.

“Just talk to me baby, please. You know it won’t be stupid, we’ve been doing this for 5 years now, we’ve got this.” He soothes and I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, 5 fucking years. That’s the problem.” I grunt and move out of his grip and into the bathroom. I find the makeup wipes and start to scrub my face. “What does that mean!” He exclaims and I shake my head.

“We’ve been together for 5 years and you haven’t asked me.” I felt like a stupid bitch for even talking.

“Asked you what?” He sounded absolutely clueless.

“To marry you Cal! Marriage! Why are we even dating still, if you don’t plan on starting a family between us then what’s the point anymore!” I slightly raised my voice and he takes a step back.

“What? Of course there’s a point to us. How do you know I don’t want to marry you? We’ve talked about it before!” He was getting just as frustrated.

“If you haven’t committed to it now then you never will, and other people think that too! It’s been so long since we’ve ever spoke of marriage Calum.” I fold my arms across my chest.

“There’s more to love than a ceremony and a ring! If that’s all that matters instead of the 5 years of loving each other solely, then I’m not the problem here! I can’t believe marriage is so important to you as a sign of commitment, like I haven’t gave you all of me! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He shouts and I jump slightly, taking a big step back.

He was right though, maybe right with his voice too damn loud, but nevertheless.

There was more to love than a ring or paper, I just felt like that’s what it should end up at, but it’s not. Paper doesn’t change commitment, it changes titles.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that or scare you.” He moved closer and I nodded.

“Please talk to me. I’m sorry and we can work it out.” I wasn’t avoiding talking because I was scared or upset that he yelled, I just knew he was right and I felt like a fucking idiot.

“Baby,” his voice was shaky and I grabbed ahold of his hand softly. “You shouldn’t be sorry, I’m the freaking idiot here. You were right, it’s not about a ring or paper. I’m sorry that I overreacted and ruined a nice time.” I admit and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“It’s okay, I understand. You do know that I want to marry the fuck out of you, right? Because I swear to God, I’ll fly us to Las Vegas right now.” He jokes and I nod, laughing a little.

“I don’t want to elope and I don’t want you to feel like you have to propose any time soon. You’re right and I can wait, because my commitment and love for you will stay the same regardless.” I hug him and he chuckles lightly.

“I love you.” He kisses my cheek and I smile warmly. “I love you more.”

“If someone ever gets proposed to at our wedding though, I swear I will go into labor at their wedding and die at their fucking funeral.” I joke and he laughs, eyes crinkling and all warm like.

“Note taken.”

[shittyfandomimagines]

Tired with Paper Bags

Idk what this is... I wrote it in 15 mins so it’s probably trash

Pure fluff with some tired cute fluff, GIF creds to owner

“Sorry to drag you along with me to the store, we can always go back home and I’ll come back later. I know you’re exhausted from work and it’s your first week back. I should’ve shopped beforehand.” I was a blubbering mess and he just gave me a tired grin.

“Anywhere you are is home.” He grins and I roll my eyes. “Literally shut the fuck up you cringe-full fool.” I go to shove his shoulder and he grabs my hand to pull me into his side. “I’m kidding, well not really, but I’m fine with just going to a store at 9 p.m.” Calum’s infectiously goofy smile made me grin too.

“Are you sure, I’m sorry I didn’t shop beforehand,” I mumble as I grab a cart and start making my way towards the dairy section. “You’ve been busy with finals all week, you’ve been just as busy so don’t worry about it.” He kisses the side of my head and I smile more. “I appreciate that.”

“So like, can I get some cookie dough?”

“You’re a multi-millionaire and you’re asking me if you can get cookie dough, really?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I shake my head as he puts a few packages of cookie dough into the basket as I pick up some eggs. I grab some cheese sticks and a gallon of milk. “There’s honestly two types of shoppers.” He jokes as he watches me pick up the essentials.

“Well, budgeting is a lifestyle, Cal.” I poke fun and he sticks his tongue out.

I move towards the cereal, he eats the shit out of that more than anything. I pull the Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch family size boxes as he just follows behind like a lost puppy.

I continue shopping that way for a while before I ended up in the clothes section. I had gotten so sidetracked from finishing groceries. I look up to ask Cal about a shirt but I stopped in my tracks when I see his droopy eyes and a big yawn escaping.

I put the shirt down and grab his warm hand, he blinked so slowly and it made me feel guilty for keeping him up. “Let’s checkout. You’re exhausted.” I give a small smile and head towards the line, he stood behind me with his arms wrapped around the front of me.

He sluggishly helped me unload the cart onto the conveyor belt, I stand in front of the card reader waiting for the guy to finish up, Cal graciously loaded them into the cart again after they were bagged.

The total comes up and I pull my card out, Calum booty-bumping me out of the way and swiping his card before I even had the chance to. I pout a little but I see his competitive smile and I roll my eyes.

We give our goodbyes to the cashier and make our way to the car. “I could’ve paid tonight, you didn’t have to,” I mumble and he chuckles. “Yeah I know, but as you said, I am a multi-millionaire.” He acts like he was bragging and I snicker quietly.

We load up the trunk and put the cart back, I snatch the keys from Calum’s hand and run to the driver's seat, jumping in before he could physically remove me.

“Babyyyyy,” he strung out the last letter and continued to get into the passenger side. “Babe, your bags under your eyes are sponsored by Gucci and Jet-Lag, I can drive home.” I revved up the car and backed out.

Between the cool air, dark skies, and his already present drowsiness, he was out by the time I made it onto the interstate.

——

I carefully and quietly unloaded the car with it running, I have never sprinted back and forth so fast just to get it done. I wanted Cal to sleep as long as he could so he didn’t feel obligated to help when he was this exhausted.

“Calum, baby, we’re home.” I shake his right shoulder gently, he stretched slightly before releasing the seatbelt. I help him out and start towards the front door. “Baby, the groceries.” He mumbled and I laughed to myself. “They’re inside already, cmon.”

Once inside I lead him to the living room to sit for a while, I unloaded the groceries quickly, I could see his sleepy figure on the couch. I smiled to myself as he was trying so hard to stay awake.

I folded up the paper bags and stick them beside the fridge. “Hey babe, are you ready to go to bed?” I ask and he slowly nods, standing up even slower.

I grab his hand as we ascend the staircase, I couldn’t wait to be his arms but also our bed.

Once we made it to our room, we both strip down and he hands me the shirt he was wearing, I slipped it over me quickly. He flopped in bed and I was close in pursuit.

“Thank you for unloading the groceries, I’m sorry I didn’t help at all.”

“I’m sorry I made you go out, I knew you were tired and I should’ve either waited or went earlier. I’m sorry.”

The guilt built more when I saw his baggy eyes blink so slowly. He pushed some tiny hairs away from my face and then just brushed my face with his calloused fingers.

“Babe, stop feeling guilty about that, I’m not concerned about it. We both survived, slowly and tiredly, but we made it out with cookie dough.” He joked so quietly, the tiredness seems to take away the volume.

“You’re goofy babe,” I slightly laugh and he grins softly.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asks and I nod, weird to ask considering we were always honest.

“You keep apologizing and it reminds me of when you took me home to your parents like the 3rd time. You were very hangry and making cookies from scratch, you had just put them in the oven and then loaded up the dishwasher. I hopped onto the counter to sit and I just took time to admire you, per usual, but it felt so wholesome,” I go to open my mouth to talk about how I didn’t know what he was talking about, he lays his hand over it.

“Your mom came in, saw us and she jokingly said something along the lines of ‘you’re forcing a millionaire to watch you make cookies, doesn’t he have anything better to do.’ She walked out of the room and you apologized the whole time because you figured it was accurate but it wasn’t. It still isn’t. I knew when I got to watch you work you're way around the house and just made cookies so peacefully with me, I knew I wanted to see it again years down the road. I wanted to see you being my best friend as we got to do subtle yet loving things, and I get to do that. So, you inviting me to go shop because you still wanted to spend time with my tired ass and even letting me sleep through your whole unloading session, buying my favorite cereals without thought, or even thinking you’d pay for groceries... you just you make up my whole life. I wouldn’t change cookie making or tired grocery shopping for anything. Literally anything.” His speech was so slurred and slow from drowsiness but it still made me grin ear to ear.

“I’m gonna have to ship you around a plane for a couple of hours a day so you’re jet-lagged, you’re a lot more sentimental and cute.” I joke and kiss his forehead softly.

“I just really love you.” He mumbled and I could tell all of the energy went into the speech.

“Calum, I love you more than life. I would sell my left kidney just to make sure I got to spend time with you. I cherish any moment or memory I get to share with you.” I run my thumb over his silver hairline. He smiled so warmly and tiredly.

“Why your left one? Not the right?” He mumbled and I snickered. “I was hoping I could get more for it being my left.”

“Baby, I’m so tired and I want to stay up to talk about kidneys and my love for you, but I’m so tired.” He whined and I kissed his pouty lips quickly.

“Good night babe, I love you forever.”

“Night, I love you and your kidneys”.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Dealing With It

This was so dramatic

Word count: 2,570

GIF creds to owner

It didn’t matter how many covers I put on my body, nothing would compare to the heat that radiates off of Calum. So when his side of the bed is completely empty, I feel nothing but shivers and sadness. Therefore, it’s lasted for a while now.

I glance at the clock, it had already been an hour since I checked it last. I sat up in the bed, turning the bedside lamp on. I listened to hear Calum’s actions at 4:30, I heard a string of the guitar and I knew what was up. I had known for weeks about how hard he had been working on new music with the boys, but I didn’t think he’d be in this cycle again.

The cycle of staying up all hours of the night to finish a song, only drink tea and no water to hydrate him, and some aggravation from being up all night.

I sighed deeply before planting my feet on the soft carpet, I started to sneak towards the living room, luckily everything was carpeted so there were no creaks. My actions seem to be repeating for the past few weeks.

I stopped by the couch, he was hunched over with his notebook, I could only catch glimpses of the words on the page. He strummed one more cord before he looked behind him abruptly. “I thought I felt someone in here, just hoping it wasn’t a ghost.” He mumbled while turning back to the guitar.

I walked around and sat on the seat in front of his, he didn’t pay any attention. “Calum, it’s already 4:30,” I mention and he looks up shortly. “And?” He seemed annoyed and it made me frown slightly.

“You need to rest, you don’t need to overwork yourself again like with the last album.” I tried my best to gently explain. “Well, it’s my job y/n. I don’t criticize you when you work the night shift at the hospital.” He sassed and I chuckled. “Well, then again I sleep all day to prepare myself for an all-night shift, I drink water and make sure I eat something.” I started to get sassy back, I regret the tone of my voice instantly.

“What if you went to bed now and left me alone.” He suggested loudly, looking up with anger. I could see the red eyes from sleep deprivation, the blue bags under his eyes too.

“What if you joined me, I’m worried for you and I know how this will affect you in the long run.” I calmed my voice down again, he shook his head. “You have no reason to worry about me, I’m a big boy. Just go to bed.” He snapped again and it was like my lack of sleep was ready to fight with his.

“No, I’m your girlfriend and I have every reason to worry.” I fight back and he scoffs. “God, don’t! I don’t even worry when you work so please just leave me alone. Your work is everything to you and I don’t criticize that! Just go back to fucking bed. It gets so hard trying to deal with you.” He yelled loudly and even Duke came running into the run to check it out.

I took a deep breath and forced myself from not taking the fight any further. “Okay, fine. I’m going to bed and maybe you should too. Bye.” I tried not to let my voice sound too hoarse.

———

When I woke up, I had felt the crusty things in the corner of my eyes from crying. I rub them off and sit up straight. The bed was still empty, as it should’ve been since I locked the door.

I still felt the hole in my chest from his words, the struggle to deal with me. Me? God, I would hurdle over everything just to make sure he knew I was there to support him. Going to his shows, the late-night conversations over the phone to let him know he’s loved, and even moving in with him.

I felt the need to just shake off everything about my own life from the past month, last night especially. I walked to the closet to grab my running outfit, I slipped it on after going to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I put my headphones on before heading towards the door, I could see Calum’s figure on the couch with his normal cartoon on. He looked back expectingly, trying to give me his famous apologetic smile, I rolled my eyes before leaving the house.

I hadn’t even run around 2 blocks before I sat on the sidewalk, I would normally run 4 blocks but my head and heart were hurting so bad. I could only think of all the reasons why I was the bad guy, I was the one that pushed that fight. I knew it was his job and it apparently is easier to deal with than me.

Then the anger hit, he never really cared for my job. Sometimes he thought it was stupid since he had plenty of money. Honestly, recently I’ve been the one putting in the effort. He’s been stuck in his writing crisis for weeks now and I’ve let it go on. I was there to make sure he was okay but he never once took my support as a way to get some fucking rest. It has been like this for years but he used to listen, he used to care about what I said. I have fought for so long about this and it’s like he tunes me out.

—

When I walked back into the house, I went straight for the fridge, not seeing Calum on the way. Ignoring it, I grabbed the strawberries out and a cold bottle of water.

I felt Calum’s presence and I could hear some talking. “Sorry, what?” I ask as I pull out the earbuds. “I asked how you are.” He states and I laugh. “Yeah, because you’re worried about it. There’s some water in the fridge, oh wait that doesn’t matter anyway, I have no reason to worry about you since you’re a big boy.” I was honestly being so petty at this point, my hurt and anger were talking.

I walked past him and went towards our room, I needed to change out of the sweaty clothes. “We need to talk.” He sits on the bed and I laugh, slipping my shorts on. “I think we shouldn’t, we’ve got nothing to talk about. You said what you needed to say so I’ll stay out of your hair. No reason to deal with me since you have pressing matters.” I fake smiled and went back toward the kitchen.

He was close in pursuit and luckily for him, his legs were long enough to get there just as fast. He backed me up into the corner of the bar, I was blocked in by his arms.

“We’re going to talk, so get over the act of being so petty. We need to talk it out.” He reiterates and I sigh, I knew he was right but he didn’t need to be.

“Calum, you told me how you felt and I’m dealing with it,” I admit and he shakes his head. “No, because what I said wasn’t true. At all.” He starts off and I scoff. “You don’t just say something to hurt somebody, that isn’t love. I can’t do this.” I shake my head and try to escape, his arms never let up.

“No, no we need to talk. You can’t give up without expecting a fight from me. Just let me explain and apologize.” He pleads and I just nod, my head still hung low.

“I know you have all good intentions when it comes to my health and writing time, you have every reason to be worried. The last time I almost hurt myself with the sleep deprivation and dehydration. I get it. It’s just you sometimes take it too far and it’s hard for me to wrap my head around, so that’s why I said it’s too much deal with you. I didn’t mean it negatively, it is hard sometimes to worry about you worrying over me. I’m appreciative over your concern, but it is a little too much.” He explains and I laughed, fucking laughed at him. I felt awful for laughing, but what the fuck?

“Calum, I know I have every reason to be concerned and you have no reason to think it’s too much. Hell, you said that you don’t worry about me when I work, so apparently, I’ll worry for the both of us. Like I do everything else, for both of us.” I mumbled the last part but he heard me, loud and clear.

“What does that mean?” He scoffed and I shrug. “Well for weeks now I’ve been the one pulling everything into the relationship. I’m the one who gets ditched at supper when you stay at the boy's house to write. I’m the one who comes home from a 12-hour shift to see the house is a fucking mess and I need to clean it because you’re in the music room for 7 hours. Don’t even get me started on my job, because I know you don’t worry about me there because you despise that I work there! Then, I have to keep up that pretty camera smile when I go into town and they ask if I’m happy. I’m not! I’m not fucking happy right now!” I yelled and my voice had become so weak from it.

“So I don’t make you happy?” I could see the pain in his face.

“For the past few weeks, no. You haven’t made an effort and I’m the only one in the relationship right now. I feel as though I’m a stranger or a ghost floating through here. Calum, I can’t keep doing this. I won’t keep doing this. I know you’re gonna say that writing will be over soon, but what about the future? I planned on spending forever with you and I don’t think I can if every time its writing season, I’ll have to be a ghost. I can’t do this because that would be an ultimatum, I would never ever ask you to chose between us or music. I would never ask you to give up writing time for me. I can’t keep this up.” I let out a sob and pushed myself out of Calum’s block.

I was pacing the kitchen, tears flowing heavily as I thought of never having Calum again or having Cal feel obligated to give up music time for me. I should’ve never moved in because it only made it worse. So much worse.

“I love you so much and I’m not letting you leave here without knowing how hard I’m gonna fight over this. You are the love of my life and I can’t even imagine dating someone else in my lifetime. Ever. So, we will talk this out and you can punch, kick, cry on me at any point. We’re not ending it like this.”

“Calum, I’m not making you chose.” He nods his head. “I know you’re not because I decided years ago to choose you. There was no time or place where you gave me an ultimatum, I just chose you myself. So, I’ll schedule my writing times, I’ll make sure you don’t feel like a ghost or a housemate. You’re my girl and I’m willing to make this work.”

“You never support me though, I am the one who makes sure everything is okay in the relationship. I’m the one who gets everything to make sure your writing time is smooth. You haven’t asked me how work is in a long time, you always worry about your job. I love mine and it doesn’t even matter to you, Calum. I can’t push my calling off just because you despise it.” I cried more because it hurt me to say these things, it hurts to feel.

“I support you regardless because you’re the love of my life, I may hate that you force yourself to work so hard when I have more than enough. I do understand that you were raised to be independent and work hard, so I respect that. I lied when I say I don’t worry. I worry constantly because I’ve seen too much Grey’s Anatomy with all the horrible scenarios to the nurses and doctors. I’m sorry that you feel like I don’t support you or love you because you are my life. You are what I look forward to. You’re my forever.”

“Calum, I don’t know anymore. I do love you with all of me, I know you’re my life too. But when do we decide that there are things that are out of our control? Music is your life too and I’m not making you choose, even though you say you have.”

“Tell me you love me, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t want to be with me anymore.” He states boldly and I felt tears surface again. “I can’t do that, you know I love you and the last thing I want is to leave you.” I felt my lip wobbling, my heart aching intensely.

“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you like this and I didn’t think the fight this morning would make us question our relationship. You are my life, my love, and everything in between. If you stay, I’ll promise to make you safe and loved, so loved. I never want you to feel like I don’t love you as much as you love me, I’m so sorry.” He was almost sobbing as he held my hands and I felt like someone was stabbing me.

We sat in silence, well in tears too. I was thinking of all the reasons to leave, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be here and make sure I fought just as hard as he is. I wanted to be us and I didn’t want to ever leave.

“I’ll stay, but it’s got to change. I need to know you’re going to help it work for us, I don’t want to back you into a corner about work, it’s what you love.” I squeeze his hand and he looks up.

“I love you as much or more than music, so of course things will change. I will make sure we have more dates, we can go to that flower farm you’ve been wanting to see, the late nights will end. I’ll be there when you wake up or go to bed. I promise, I swear on Duke.” He sounded more lighthearted at the end.

“Fine, but we have to do our special pinky promise.” I plead and stick out my left pinky. “Ah, the 2016 pinky promise, how would I ever forget.”

We do our hand movements before we crossed our pinkies and stamped it with a kiss.

“I want this, you.” He kissed my cheek. “Me too, I’m sorry.” I kiss his hand. “You’ve got no reason to be sorry, I do. I say we watch some Scooby Doo and call it a day.” He scoops me up and jogged toward our room.

This bitch, I love him. He made me want to stab my eyes in sometimes, but I love him.

Fair warning, i started this off as a Luke imagine but it’s Cal now... so if you see Lukes name, ignore it

[shittyfandomimagines]

Best Friends?

Word count: 2,533

Fluff angst cute... I need a Calum.

GIF creds to owner

“Cal! C’mon!” She yells as she jumped up and down, her strength took me by surprise as she was tugging on my arm. “Y/n, it is an ice cream shop, it is not closing anytime soon.” I joke with her and she pouts. “Calum, I want my cotton candy ice cream. I’ve been excited for this since breakfast!” She was so adorable, her smile was so illuminating. “I’ve been your best friend for 3 years and you have never been this happy to see me, ever.” I tease and she pouts slightly.

“You’re not ice cream though, you’re Calum.” She smiles and I put my arm around her neck. “Let’s go get your ice cream,” I tell her as we walk towards the shop, I would do whatever it takes to make sure she had that smile on her face for a long time.

I let her walk up to the glass window, she knew in her heart she was going to get the cotton candy flavor but she still searched each name-tag. I watched her carefully, she’d tilt her head slightly when something seemed good. She’d scrunch her nose up for something that had caramel in it, she hated caramel.

I fell in love with her a long time ago but I never pushed it, I didn’t want to ruin what we had in our friendship. I see her pulling money out of her pocket and I grab her hand gently. “My treat, you’re my best friend.” I smile, I get the cash out of my wallet and then search the window.

“I’ll-“ She was about to speak and I cut in. “She’ll have a double-scooped cotton candy ice cream cone. I’ll take a double-scooped rocky road ice cream in a cup please.” I order for her and she pouts. I hand the guy a five dollar bill. “What if I didn’t want cotton candy?” She asks and I just give her a look, she knew damn well she wanted cotton candy, but she started giggling. “You’re right, I wanted cotton candy.” She whispers and I shake my head, a smile on my lips still.

“You’re a literal dork.” I giggle lightly and she nods. “You know it’s a great party trick.”

When she said party, it struck a cord in my mind. “Oh yeah, party. Uh, Luke is throwing a party this Friday for his and Ashton’s birthday. Of course, I want you there, you’re always the best part of any party.” I tell her and she acts like she had something to think about, she doesn’t have any other friends beside me. Well, she does but we’re best friends.

“Fine! I’ll clear my busy schedule and see if I can make it.” She exclaims dramatically, I roll my eyes. I look toward the worker and he hands us our ice cream. We both sit in one of the booths. “You can come over to my house beforehand, we can chill all day and then party,” I suggest and her face falls a little.

“I wish I could spend all day with you, but I’m going over to Seth’s house for a while. We have to work on some project for civil history.” She tells me and I felt my own emotions falter, I accidentally let my spoon fall. “Hey, don’t make that face. You know he isn’t that bad.” She warns and points her cone at me slightly. He was awful, he always made moves on her and she had kissed him once. She said she didn’t really like him, sadly her professor had made them permanent partners for the semester.

“Sorry, you just know he’s gonna put moves on you,” I warn and she groans. “Yes I know, I just can’t risk this project, Cal. It’s going to count as 2 tests and I don’t care if I have to be around him. It’s worth the grade.” She sounded annoyed and I nod. “Understandable,” I reply shortly and take another bite of my ice cream.

The conversation died down, I was stuck staring at my ice cream and thinking about all of my problems. I knew I loved her and it fucking hurt to even think of her with fucking Seth. “Are you okay?” Her voice sounded concerned as she reached over and I involuntarily moved it away. “I’m fine, the ice cream is really sweet and giving me a headache.” I lie and I can tell she saw right through it.

“Well, let’s leave Cal. I’ll let you go home to get some rest.” She puts on a brave smile and I nod.

——

“You’re so fucking moody, what’s wrong? It’s my birthday.” Luke sat beside me and handed me a beer. “I’m just tired.” I lie and he scoffs, he knew I slept for like 10 hours. “Is it y/n?” He asks and I nod slowly. I had been ignoring her because my mind was running rampant of her.

I just knew deep down we’d never happen because we were best friends, I would never want to lose that. The last thing I want to do is push it too hard and she just leaves completely. My dumbass thought that ignoring her texts and calls would help, in the end, I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I missed her sarcasm and puns. Her smile and her fucking gorgeous eyes.

“She is with Seth right now for a project, she said she’d be here for your party but I’ve been ignoring her for a few days, so she might not come,” I say and the realization hit that she may skip. I hated parties without her, she made them 100x better.

“Well, why don’t you just admit your feelings?” He asks and I laugh, is he serious? “I don’t want to lose her or us.” I sigh and he pats my back. “You’re going to lose her anyway if you keep playing this game. Take a chance Cal, she has to like you too.” He says and I shrug. “There’s no way to tell,” I mumble, I wanted to just leave this conversation here and go out for a smoke.

“She looks at you like you personally hung the stars. She can literally go anywhere with you and have the best time, you two know each other inside and out. Cal, you’re just fucking blind.” He states and I felt a smile tug at my lips. “Maybe, I can only hope,” I mumble.

——

I had snuck up the back stairway to Luke’s room, he had a great balcony that was amazing to just sit on to think. It overlooked the lights of LA and he has some really fucking comfortable chairs.

I pulled out a cigarette to light, I stuck it in between my teeth gently as I dug out my lighter.

I light up the cigarette quickly, inhaling it immediately. I felt the burn of the smoke filling my lungs, I pushed the smoke back out of my nose. I used my finger to trace the rim of my beer cup, it honestly didn’t even taste good anymore.

I inhale the smoke a few more times until it becomes shorter. I stomp it out on the ground and pick it up, I lay it on the table so I can throw it away when I go inside.

I didn’t want to go in yet, I just liked the feeling of relaxing out here without the loud music and drunk people. “Do you understand that one day you have to actually enjoy a party.” Y/n’s voice says from behind me, I felt chills emerge. “I don’t know, I think the balcony is my scene.” I didn’t turn back to look at her, she came to the seat beside me. I didn’t have much to say as I looked at the moon, I didn’t even know where to begin. I know it should be an apology and maybe a whole spiel about how she is the love of my life.

However, nothing came out at all. There was silence from the both of us but downstairs was pulsating with music. “Are you mad at me Calum?” She asks I could hear the pain in her voice. “I’m not mad,” I tell her and it was true, I was mad at myself more than her.

“Calum, we’ve never been mad at each other and ignored each other, I don’t know what I did wrong just tell me. I’ll try to fix it.” She was speaking so quickly and it made my heart hurt for her to even think that she was the one who messed up.

“Y/n, it’s not you okay. Well, it is you but it’s nothing wrong or hurtful. You can’t fix it and that’s okay.” I try to explain in the kindest way possible and I stand up abruptly to lean over the railing. I just repeated to myself that I needed to just stare at the lights and calm down.

She snuck up beside me and leaned her head against my shoulder. “We always tell each other stuff, Calum please don’t shut me out.” She says and I just put my head in my hands. “I’m afraid what I’m going to say will make you hate me,” I admit and she tugged on my arm. “Please look at me, Cal.” She says softly, I give in to her voice and turn to face her. She took ahold of my hands, she had a firm grip.

“I can promise you that no matter what you say, I already hated you.” She jokes and I laughed, I shake my head at her awful joke. “How was Seth’s house?” I changed the subject and she drops my hands. “He didn’t help at all so I left like an hour in, I tried to call you to see if you could help but you didn’t answer. It’s finished though, I just finished it an hour ago.” She explains and I felt my heart twinge, I hated that I just abandoned her.

“I’m sorry, I’m an asshole.” I apologize quickly and she shook her head. “It’s okay, you’re not my partner so it’s not your fault.” She waves it off and I deadpanned. I knew she meant civil history partner, but I thought about it the other way and I felt the knot form in the back of my throat. I am so stupid for even thinking anyone could love my damaged ass.

I turn back to the city, tapping my fingers rhythmically against the railing. “You’re doing it again Calum! Just spit it out!” She exclaims and I flinched a little at her sudden change.

“I can’t imagine my life without you.” I just breathe it out and she seemed confused. “Calum, you’re my best friend and I’m going to be in your life for a long time.” She soothes and I laughed, she had no idea. “I don’t want to spend my life with you as my best friend!” I yell and her face turned into a sad look. I knew she took it in the worst way.

“God, way to beat around the bush. You sound so conflicted with your statements!” She yells back and her arms began to flail. “Because I am! I don’t want to just be your best friend. I want to be the guy you call when you need to fall asleep. The one who holds you before we doze off and be the one who makes bomb breakfast. I just want to be in love with you and you fall in love with me. God, I have held on to that for a while and I was too afraid to tell you.” It started off as a shout but it ended up as a whisper.

“You were always that guy to me. You let me drag you to an ice cream parlor and then let my dye a streak of your hair blonde because I couldn’t sleep at night. You help me fall asleep and then lay on the couch so you won’t invade my privacy. Calum, you’re not the only one scared to death to talk about feelings. Remember the first time I came over and was too afraid to ask where the bathroom was? Yeah, I’m still that awkward.” She giggles and I try to hide my own smile.

“So, what does this mean?” I ask and she takes a step closer to put her hands on my leather jacket. “What does it mean to you?” She asks and I cup my hand over hers. “I’m in love with you,” I admit and she smiles warmly. “Good, because if not then this was going to get awkward.” She jokes and I turn my head to grin widely.

“Hey! Don’t hide your smile from me! I just reciprocated your feelings and you’re going to just hide? I thought we had something?” She faked her sadness and I laugh. “You’re such a dork,” I mumble and she nods.

She moves her hands to my hips and then gathers my shirt at the hem, I brush my hands through her hair. “What do we do now?” I ask and she moves her cold hands against my bare skin. “Well, there’s only one question you haven’t asked.” She gleams and I ‘ponder’ my thoughts.

“What your project was about?” I question and she rolled her eyes dramatically. “Well, it was about how this guy I admitted my feelings for him and he is acting so oblivious. Although, he looks amazing so I might have to allow it.” She grins and I shrug. I lean down and kiss her lips softly, we weren’t like those friends who tried to kiss each other before, like in the movies. We literally were strictly best friends.

She wraps her arms around the back of my neck and I feel her trying to stand on her tippy toes. “Will you be my girlfriend?” I ask as she pulls back and she detaches for me. “Well, since you asked and you know I suck at saying no.” She giggles and I roll my eyes. “Is it too early to break up?” I ask and she nods. “I need this to last at least 2 minutes.” She stands back up on her tippy toes to kiss my nose.

I grab her hand and lead her back through the house. When I come down I see Luke and Ash taking shots. “Look who finally joined the party!” Ashton yells as he runs up to us to lift y/n in the air. “Hey be careful with my girlfriend!” I shout and push Ashton a little. “Finally!” I heard multiple people shout and Luke was dancing and doing some kind of hip gyrations.

“Michael and Ashton owe me $20 dollars!” Luke continued to dance and y/n looks at me. “Hey, if they’re making money can I just tell your management that this is a publicity joke? I need some money.” She jokes and I push her body into my side.

“You’re so close to being single again.”

[shittyfandomimagines]

Today and Forever

Word Count: 1,283

This is the shittiest written thing ever

GIF creds to owner

Weddings were always fun, there was cake or alcohol, family, friends, gifts, and even cute little babies. Importantly, there was a handsome groom at the end of the aisle waiting on me.

Calum was waiting for me at the end of the aisle and I knew that in my head, I loved that man and he loved me. It’s just that I’m going to forever be an insecure piece of shit who questioned everything. I feel like I’ll be an awful wife and I’ll want children, which will put a damper on his career. Then, we might fight because he’s gone too much, or he falls out of love.

None of that shit happened in the past 4 years, but it didn’t stop my mind from deciding the worst possible reasons to not get married. Shouldn’t I have thought about this like last night when I could physically talk to Calum, or be in his calming presence.

“Hey girl, last minute bridesmaid check.” Crystal came into my designated room. She looked gorgeous in the dress we picked out months ago, pastel pink is her color. She looked me up and down in the dress, she had tears threatening to spill.

“You look so amazing! I can’t believe this is real. You deserve all the happiness in the world, I’m so proud.” She comes closer to give me a hug, I pat her back awkwardly. Like I wasn’t just thinking of the reasons to dash?

“You okay?” She asks as she pulls away, I nod quickly. “Just nervous, it’s gonna be a big crowd.” I lie and she nods, but she didn’t seem convinced. “I’m going to head out towards the bridesmaid line, getting ready for you. Good luck.” She gives me air kisses and then heads out the door.

The unexpected visit with more unsettling feelings made me want to vomit. I found myself fast walking to the bathroom, I had a towel draping me to make sure I didn’t have any puke on the very expensive dress.

A knock at the door made the feelings worse, I was almost in full panic mode and the random visitors were making it harder to stay calm.

I open the door and see Calum’s back facing me, I feel myself hiding. “Calum! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!” I half-yell, he just chuckles. “Which is why my back is facing you. Can I come in please?” He asks and I sigh. “If you insist.” I joke and he backs up into the room and makes sure he didn’t see me.

“Crystal is worried.” He starts off and I felt my heartbeat pick up, I knew she saw right through me. “What is there to be worried about?” I tried not to show my panic, he wasn’t buying it. He turned around with his eyes closed, he was extending his hands outward.

I step into them and he just holds me against him. “I’m scared too. I’m scared that I won’t be the right husband or future dad, I’ll let you down because of my career or I won’t be the supportive husband that you need. I’m afraid I’m not enough. Afraid that there will be other guys who can be there for every moment, and I know I can’t be.” He explains and I see his lip trembling. I lean up to kiss his shaking lips.

“I’m scared too, maybe I’m not enough or good enough. I’ll probably be a horrible wife and mom. I’m afraid I’ll be too clingy when you’re on tour or working in LA, which will put a damper on us. I’m scared.” I admit and he smiles warmly.

“Oh my, you’re more than enough for me. I didn’t deserve you 4 years ago and I sure as hell don’t right now. My favorite part about coming home from the tour is when I get off the airplane and I see you standing there with tears. You usually have on my hoodie and hats, you just stand there all giddily and then you lunge for me, it’s like I’ve waited on you for a long time. If I have to move us out to L.A. then so be it, I just need to be as close as I can. I can’t believe we’re both freaking out right now, we haven’t even started life as a married couple. We are making up challenges that haven’t even come up. We’ve got this and I’m 100% sure of it.” He was caressing my bare arms.

Just seeing his smile and hearing his voice was enough to make me feel calm, if I could just elope right now it would be perfect.

“I love you Calum, I’m sorry I’m an insecure piece of shit.” I joke and swayed around with me in his arms. “I love you regardless, I don’t think it’s insecurity but it’s like we are making a huge decision today and it’s forever us. I just can’t wait to call you Y/n Hood.” He continues to sway and I smile.

“And if I say no?” I joke and he slacks his shoulders and I laugh. “Well, I’ll deny that you said it and continue to proceed on with the ceremony.” He responds and I loved his goofiness, it made my heart warm.

I just took in this sight, he loved fucking amazing obviously, but just his happiness radiated. Mentally I knew I needed to just marry this man every day for a long time and that calmed everything. I get to be with the man who walks me to my car in the mornings when it was too dark, he brushes my hair and removes my makeup when I’m drunk, and he even compliments me every 5 minutes. I couldn’t imagine his presence out of my life.

“Calum,” I say quietly and he peaks his eyes open (I didn’t even care at this point), “I really love you,” I say and he looked worried. “But?” He asks and I shake my head. “No buts, it’s always going to be you and I’m so happy with that. I appreciate your friendship, help, love, and constant support. I am ready for a lifetime with you.” I was running my hands through his small curls.

He had some tears in his eyes and I felt it deep within me too. “God, you just look so gorgeous right now. You are so amazing and I can’t believe you want to marry someone like me. I wouldn’t be here without you or the things you’ve done every day since you threw your drink on me 4 years ago to get my attention.” He kisses my neck to avoid the makeup.

“I did not throw my drink on you! I was walking down the aisle of the restaurant and some brat had their purse on the floor, my foot got tangled on the straps. Therefore, my drink spilled on you once I was in mid-fall.” I punch his chest lightly and he gives me a look.

“Fine, if that’s what you want to believe,” he threw his hands up in the air. “Well, if we don’t leave right now we will have no one left to watch us walk the aisle,” I say and he nods. “I’ll head out first and I’ll see you at the end.” He says and I smile.

“I’ll see you there, Hood.” I wink and he grins. “You too, Hood.” He leaves one more kiss before he jogs out of the room.

I give myself one last look and then head towards the door.

I’m marrying the absolute love of my life, today and forever.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Going, Going, Gone

Word count: 1,856

Pure angst, my pure heart is hurt.

Obviously some things are distorted.

(GIF creds to owner.)

Tour was supposed to be fun or whatever, but then again I wasn’t the one who was singing. I wasn’t the one who gets to be around thousands of hyped up people. I wasn’t the one who did the meet and greets.

I don’t want to sound like an attention hog, but I was not the one who had Calum’s attention. I knew that I wouldn’t always be when I first got here after their second leg of the tour started, it’s just that Calum was ecstatic to be around me. As time went on, I was just kind of there like a coat-hanger, useful sometimes but in the way.

We have just started to argue more and bicker about stupid stuff. I knew the guys were picking up on it and I tried to just let it go, but I couldn’t. I hated that they heard all the arguing and how it didn’t seem like Cal was here for me.

The quick wind that pushed past me had snapped me out of my trance, I look up to see Calum had walked past me to get some coffee from the little deck towards the corner of the bus. “Good afternoon,” I mumble quietly and twirl my thumbs. “Yeah.” He replies in a monotone voice, per usual.

We were up bickering most of the night and I didn’t like it, but what was I gonna do? Neither of us had apologized for a fight in so long that I didn’t even feel like we were the same Calum and y/n that everyone knew.

“Good afternoon beautiful people!” Ashton came bounding down the hallway cheerfully, completely nosediving to jump his way beside me on the (very) small couch. Calum gave him a look and the sat on the other small couch in front of us. Ashton laid his head on my lap and completely ignored Calum’s glare.

His hair was slicked back and I kept flicking the one piece that was hanging over his forehead. “You should dye your hair,” I suggest as he was swatting my hand away. “What color?” He asks as he finally gave up trying to stop me. “Red. You’d like nice with red hair.” I think aloud and he just shrugs. “We’ll see. Maybe after the tour is over I will.” He says and then sits up.

“I’ll be outside walking if anyone needs me, just try not to,” Calum utters under his breath and then stomps towards the door. Ash and I give each other a look, this wasn’t the first time this week that he did this. “I’ve got him this time, it’s my turn,” I say and stand up from the couch.

I had to basically jump off the last step because it always seemed so high, usually, Cal would laugh but he hasn’t recently. He hasn’t done a lot of things recently. He had just made it past the back of the bus, he was still walking straight ahead. Luckily, there were no fans in sight.

When I finally get behind him, I tug his jacket slightly. “Calum, just stop for a second.” I plead and he comes to a halt, turning very abruptly. “What the fuck do you want?” He snaps and my eyes widen. “Jesus, what is wrong now?” I roll my eyes.

“You! You’re always so lovey-dovey towards Ashton and you never fucking care about me! Why the fuck would you even come on this tour if you didn’t plan on caring about me and just fucking being around everyone else all the time?” He yells and I signal my hand for him to be quieter and I point towards the bus still being fairly close to us.

“You had the chance to ask him to move. You had the chance to act that way with me any fucking time. This is not my fault Calum, you’re the one constantly bringing up shit that doesn’t make sense. At least your best friends are more caring about me than you are.” I snarl and he just laughs. He fucking laughs!

I wanted to rip that pretty little smirk off of his face.

“You’re right, they care more about you than I do nowadays. Just because I invited you here doesn’t mean that everyone fucking wants you here right now. Fuck off!” He says emotionless and I feel my heart break a little. I guess it’s one thing to not feel wanted by your peers but another thing to not be wanted by your boyfriend.

“I-uh. Yeah, well I just wanted to check on you. Ash mentioned something about an interview in 20 minutes.” I lie about Ashton saying it, I just memorized the schedule this morning at 3 am after our fight so I could distract myself.

I just try to pull all the tears back in and turn around as quick as I could so he wouldn’t see my eyes becoming glassy.

I keep my head low as I walked onto the bus and the guys tried to speak but I just wave them off. “Cal said he’d be done with his walk soon so you guys could leave for the interview.” I lie, once again, and go to the empty spare bunk bed to lay down.

“Change in interview stuff guys, the interviewers have moved the production of it to the actual arena. They want to do a backstage thing with you guys before the show, so they thought it would be easier to just start off the day here. They’re going to be setting up and I’ll give you the call when they’re done. Tell Calum.” I couldn’t pick up whose voice it was because of how far back this bunk was, but I just let the guys do their own rejoicing thing. God knows I’m a bother to them.

—-

The guys had left for their interview like 15 minutes ago and I was currently doing my annual sweep of the venue. I liked to do this so the night of the concert when things were more hectic, I could do my own thing and know where everything was.

I accidentally found myself at the section of the venue where the interview was being placed, I stopped in my tracks so quick. I slowly walked backward and just stood behind everyone and listened in. No one knew I was there, per usual.

“So love guys? What are we feeling about that subject?” The girl from the interviewer asks. “I don’t believe in love anymore, all I love is Duke and music,” Calum says something first and my heart literally shattered. “So you and your girlfriend aren’t in love anymore?” The interviewer sounded intrigued.

“Of course we’re in love, we’ve been together for 2 years.” He says quickly and I shake my head, tears begin to brim my eyes. Being together for 2 years isn’t exactly the reason to be in love. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be around Calum anymore.

I wipe off any sign of tears and I tap Jakes shoulder (the guy who was in charge of flights and hotels) and he turns around quickly. Jake was a complete jokester, we all absolutely loved this guy. “Hey, sweet girl.” He says and it probably sounds weird, but he’s like 50 and a hero.

I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and upset, but he smiled at me anyway. “I need you to cancel any flights or hotel rooms for me, I’m going home,” I say and his nose scrunches up. “Are you sure? Have you spoke to Calum?” He asks as he gets his phone out of his back pocket.

“Yeah, we spoke. Thanks, Jake!” I say and hug him slightly, I turn around and sniffle quickly. I start to walk away but someone tugs my shoulder lightly.

“Oh, hey Mitchy.” I smile warmly and he gives me a look. “I heard you speaking to Jake. You’re leaving?” He asks and I nod quickly. “Calum knows, I just need some time for myself.” I lie and he chuckles.

“You still suck at lying.” He jokes and I shrug. “It doesn’t matter where I am at, Calum wouldn’t care.” I groan and Mitchy scrunched his eyebrows. “Calum loves you and he’s probably just going through something. You can’t just leave without telling him.” He crosses his arms and I just roll my eyes.

“Mitch, I can just leave a note on his bed. If I know this guy pact that you guys have going on, you’ll end up telling him. So, please just wait until after the show. Please. I don’t want this to make the show weak and hurt the fans.” I beg and he nods. “Fine, but what should I tell him?” He asks.

“Tell him I’m staying with my sister, he’ll get the memo. Bye, congrats on hitting number 1 by the way.” I hug him quickly and had to literally jog away before I let my tears all out.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Fans were calling my name and I literally froze. How was I supposed to leave with suitcases and bags? I breathe in deeply, turn away and wipe my eyes. I take the sunglasses that were hanging off my shirt and put them over my eyes.

“Hey, guys!” I smile warmly at all of them and they were acting calm thank goodness. “Can we get a picture? If you’re not busy or anything.” They were so polite and it literally warmed my heart. There were only about 5 girls and they had all just been so cute while taking pictures. Then it hit me, I knew how to make sure they were gone so I could leave.

“Do you guys have ID on you?” I ask and they all nod. “Tell me your names,” I ask and I pull my phone out and text one of the guys in management. I send him their names and tell him that they have their ids to verify. I requested that they make it inside m&g because they were so nice. They respond with a thumbs up and I smile.

“You guys just scored some m&g tickets, just show them your ID. They all line up in 30 mins.” I say and they all had tears. “Thank you so much! We love you!” They all cried as they were basically running back towards the front.

I let my tears come back as I walked inside the bus. I write a quick note and lay it on Calum’s bed. I drag my suitcase out and put all my items back in. I get my pink bag and put all my items from the bathroom back in it. I look around and make sure that I had everything. I took one more deep breath as I called my sister, she could obviously hear the wavering in my voice but gladly said I could join her.

I book a flight back to my hometown and the flight leaves tonight.

I guess this is it. This is it.

Part 2 guys????

[shittyfandomimagines]

Going, Going, Gone 2

Word count: 2,210

So like fluff?? Idk. Angst??? Idk

(Big creds to owner of GIF)

I always have that buzz of energy right after sound check, it just meant that we’re really close to going on. We can hear all the shuffling of the fans getting close to the stage. It felt great knowing that these people were here for me.

The camera crew just left after we showed them our pre-show ritual and what we keep in our dressing rooms. They heard us give each other pep talks and all, they had what they wanted.

“Where’s y/n? She’s usually here for us before everyone goes on.” Ashton points out and I didn’t even stop for a second to think about where she was. In my heart, I was a little nervous about us, mostly because we kind of had an unspoken rule that she’d always be at the shows just because she cares for my career. So I don’t know why I let the next words fall out of my mouth, “who cares where she is.”

All the guys gave me a harsh look and shook their heads. “If you don’t love her anymore, do not do this to her. Don’t drag her along across the world and make her feel like a burden. She’s the sweetest person and you’re acting like she is the biggest problem in the world.” Luke scolds and I raise my eyebrows.

“I do love her,” I state and they all get really quiet. It was starting to make me nervous, how their eyes just screamed that I was wrong.

“Guys, of course, I love y/n. She’s the best thing that has happened to me. Ever. She’s the best person in my life beside you guys. C’mon, you can’t be serious.” I anxiously lean forward and start biting my nails.

“You haven’t really acted like it recently Cal, but we can’t see inside your heart or mind. Just let her know sometimes.” Michael soothes and I nod, laying myself back against the couch.

I just want her here now, just so I could hold her in my arms and do what our ritual was when she first got here. God, I’ve treated her so bad.

It’s us though, we always build ourselves back up.

——

“That was a fucking amazing show!” Ashton came running down the hall that led backstage. “They’re so fucking loud. I love it.” Luke followed behind him and I was the last one to go.

I look around to see that y/n was nowhere to be seen. She must have been so pissed, I don’t think there was ever a fight that she decided was bad enough to miss a show. I started to feel all the guilt bubble inside of my stomach.

“Drinks tonight, guys?” Ashton asks and I shake my head no. “I’m gonna spend some time with y/n,” I say but everyone else says they’re going. “Make sure to clean up your messes.” Luke winked and I shoved his shoulder, a small smile on my face.

The walk to the bus felt long and lonely, everyone else went a different way as they had cars ready to take them to a club or somewhere.

When I enter the bus, it felt so empty and weird. When I leaned down to look in our bunk, she wasn’t in there, I saw a piece of paper but I assumed it was a schedule. I went the extra bunk to look and she wasn’t in there either. I started to feel panic rise in my chest, my breathing becoming distorted.

I frantically look in the little area where clothes go and it was empty. I check the bathroom and all of her personal products where gone. No, no, no.

I run back to the front of the bus and step out, my body colliding with someone else’s. My first hope was that it was her.

“Mitch? What are you doing here? They’re about to go out.” I say and try to remain calm.

“I knew that y/n was leaving.” He said it like he was scared. “What?” I ask harshly and he takes a step back. “She was talking to Jake about canceling her flight and hotel rooms for good, so I asked her about it. She said she didn’t want it to affect the show.” He explains and I run my hands through my hair.

“You didn’t tell me sooner?” I cross my arms and he just sighed. “Cal, she was so sad and I could see the tears. She just needed me to be quiet and I respected that.” He says calmly and I wanted to fucking cry too. “Did she say where she was going?” I ask and he nods. “Said she was going to her sister's house, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” He says and that’s what makes me turn completely cold and nauseous.

Whenever she needed a break from us or just the world, she always went to her hometown to see her sister. She felt like it was the best therapy. I had realized a long time ago that she went there when she needed a big change in her life. What if she is done with me? She’s going to her sister's house and trying to make a change. Oh god. Don’t panic, don’t panic.

Before I knew it, I was throwing up beside the bus. The guilt and pain had literally caused me to vomit. Mitch was rubbing my back soothingly and I shakily stand back up. “I’ve got to go to the airport. We have a few days off, right?” I ask and he nods slowly. “Cal, I called the cab before you came out of the bus, they should be here soon,” Mitch says and runs my shoulder a little.

—-

The cab drive to the airport felt like a million years, mostly because I was thinking of how she’s probably already in her hometown. So when he got close to the doors, I was already one foot out the door.

I hastily find a desk and ask her where I can find the city, I had to show her the name from my phone. She points me in the direction and I nod quickly.

I was literally running to her zone of the airport, I see her blue highlights from where I was at. She was sitting alone, no one else was in this section. She was the only one going on this flight. Thank god she was still here.

“Babe,” I say and she turns to look at me. I see her bloodshot eyes and tear stains. “Calum, please just go away. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” She waves me off and my heart breaks. I get in front of her and squat down to her level.

“Baby, why are you leaving? You know that I understand what it means when you are going to your sisters.” I sniffle, she just looks straight through me. “Because you don’t love me and I’m not going to stay here for someone who doesn’t care. I’m tired of being here and in this position.” She says so calmly that it made me nervous. The chills wracking throughout me.

“Of course I love you. What do you mean?” I ask and she just laughs. “God Calum, you’re so fucking hilarious. I heard your interview and I heard what you were trying to tell me. I added all the dots, the fights, and the bickering, telling me that I’m not wanted there. I get it, if you were so out of love with me, you should’ve had the decency to tell me.” She was so stone cold and it made my heart feel like someone was putting tiny needles into it.

“You’re right, I don’t treat you the way I should. I should be treating you the way I did when you first got her or when we’re at home. I do love you like I can’t even see my life without you in it. I can’t see Sunday’s without thinking how we go to Huddle House for waffles. I can’t think of dog walks without thinking about how we go to that small park with Duke. I can’t think about seeing small kids and wondering when the hell I get to put a ring on your finger and have kids with you. I just want to wrap you up in my arms and literally keep you there.” I rant and she goes to speak, but more words started to fly out.

“And god I hate when you put your fucking cold feet on my legs and you do that innocent giggle. When you run your hands through my hair and literally rub my head after drinking too much. I love when you smile and the crooked tooth that you hate, but seeing you smile always makes my heart feel like it’s flying. You dance so bad and it always makes me laugh, but I could watch it forever. Or when you have to jump off that last step on the bus, I feel myself wanting to laugh now just thinking about it.” I chuckle and she literally pinches me to make me stop talking.

“Calum, I don’t want to hear this. You haven’t shown me any type of love in weeks. I don’t want to hear this because it’s going to end up going down the drain in a few weeks.” She crosses her arms. I fixate myself where I’m on my knees instead of squatting.

“I haven’t shown you love, but I promise you I will. Forever and the rest of my fucking life. Please, just don’t leave me and break up with me like this. You don’t understand how I feel when I see you. I need you. I’m sorry that I’ve been so bad to you, I just needed to fucking work on me. I took it out on you and I will forever be sorry, I just don’t feel worthy anymore and I just continuously try to find reasons why I’m good enough for anyone, not just you but every single person I come in contact with. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like an option or a burden if anything that’s me.” I express myself and her eyes widen. I feel my eyes burn with more tears surfacing.

I was never one to just flat out speak about what goes on in my mind. She always knew that I kept it in and she would support me through the times I was in a different headspace, but this time I hurt her instead of just myself.

“Calum, look at me. I’m not going to apologize for my feelings because they are my feelings. I do feel sympathetic that you’re going through this. You know how much I appreciate, love, support, and undyingly need you in my life. I never said the words that I was breaking up with you. I don’t want that. I accept your apology, Cal.” She soothes as she wipes a few tears out of my eyes.

She leans down to kiss my lips softly, I start to smile softly when she does. She pulls away and I grab her hands. “So you’re coming back on tour.” I smile widely and she frowns a little. “No babe, I’m not.” She says and I deadpan. “What? Why? You just said you weren’t breaking up with me. Babe, what’s going on?” I was starting to panic again, my chest rising quickly.

“Hey, calm down. You’re putting yourself into a panic attack, just calm down babe. I am not done with us, I promise. I just want to take some time at home and find myself again. I don’t want to be on tour anymore, I need to just relax for once. I need time, okay. Tour ends soon and I will be at our apartment waiting on you. I promise on Duke's life.” She says and I smile a little. “That’s a big promise, baby.” I cup her hands into mine again.

“I know, just don’t lose sight of how much I love you. I know our fights were pointless and petty, I’m done with that point of our relationship. Let’s heal and when you come back, we’ll be us again. If you need me, I’m one call away. I don’t want you holding all this guilt and uncertainty. You don’t know how much I love you and wish that you could see how valuable you are.” She says and leans forward to kiss my lips softly.

“When does the flight leave?” I ask and she shrugs. “It was delayed so I leave in about an hour.” She says and I smile. I move to sit beside her and I wrap my arms around her. “An hour with you sounds amazing. Can we make-out? It’s empty in here.” I ask and she punches my side.

“Such a sleaze, shut the fuck up.” She laughs and leans her head on my shoulder. “I love you, you’re sure you’re gonna want me when I come home?” I ask and she nods so quickly. “You’re my home Calum, I would always come home.” She says and sighs contently.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Broken Promises

Yeah well my heart was broke but that bitch survived, she’s okay.

Word count: 1,866

Angst with fluff !??

GIF creds to owner

“He’ll be here, I promise.” It felt like an apologetic lie was rolling off my tongue, I mean it was for sure a lie. I have told several people that lie already; the flower shop, the tux renters who called to speak to Calum, and even with his parents who wanted to meet up last week.

The apology side of it came for myself, I had given up on Calum’s help on the wedding stuff. I knew he wouldn’t care what we picked and he would most likely say “it’s just a cake, it’s just some decorations, it’s just flowers.” I wanted him to be excited as he was when he first proposed. He would speak out about what he would like to do and what format, or venue.

I take a deep breath in and just look at my phone once more. “You know what, let’s just do this. I’m sure he can eat any flavor.” I try to joke with her and she seemed to understand my disappointment. I knew our wedding was 2 months away, but this girl is so popular and I wanted her to do the cake. I was lucky to even be here.

“Any flavor we want to avoid?” She asks and I nod quickly. “No red velvet, can’t stand the color or how much it tastes like dye,” I speak and she nods, writing it down on her notepad. “Here is a menu of what our cakes are and their descriptions.” She slides the menu to me and I scan it over.

I wasn’t a huge fan of caramel but I knew Calum liked it. “I want to try the flavored cookie dough cake, salted caramel cake, and the marble cake.” I slide it back to her and she nods again. “Any filling or icing flavors or do you want to just try the ones that usually come with it?” She asks, man I thought this would be the easy task.

“I’ll just stay with what you offer per cake.” I decide and she writes more things down, she starts to walk into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she comes back out with the three cakes.

“This is the cookie dough cake, it is filled with strong vanilla bean buttercream, and it is iced the same as filled, but the flavor won’t be as strong so it doesn’t end up too sweet.” She explains as she slides it over, I pick up the fork that was provided. I absolutely loved this flavor, it was like my childhood dreams came true.

“This is the salted caramel cake. It is filled with brown sugar and almost a coffee flavor, it is topped off with vanilla buttercream.” She points to which one was the cake. I take a bite of it and try to hide my disapproval, I just am not that big of a fan of caramel but I tried it for Calum. I knew in my heart he’d like it so I smile up at her.

“And this one is the marble cake, it is filled with a chocolate mousse and is iced in almond buttercream.” She adds and I eat a bite of it, I honestly loved it. I loved the chocolate chip and the marble one, I knew Calum would like the other.

“How many tiers of cake would I need to feed 250-300?” I ask and she calculated it on her notepad. “At least 4 tiers.” She looks up and I nod. “Okay, I want 1 layer of the caramel, 1 of the cookie dough, and 2 of the marble. I don’t care which order they’re in.” I say and she nods. “What about designing plans?” She asks and I open my phone to find the pictures.

“I absolutely love the piped lace look on the cake, I would want that for all layers. I have my own flowers that can be used, I want the traditional white.” I explain and she was jotting it down, I saw her drawing a sketch. “Okay, is that it?” She asks kindly and I nod. “Yeah, it is. Thank you for this.” I shake her hand and she nods. “My pleasure, I’ll see you in 2 months.” She says and I wave as I walk out.

——

When I walk in, Calum was sitting in front of the tv watching reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. “Afternoon, babe.” He smiles towards me and I didn’t reply, I just walk towards the kitchen. I see dishes piled up and the garbage needed to be taken out soon.

I groan to myself as I load the dishes into the dishwasher. I use the backdoor to shortcut the walk to where the bins were. When I come back in, I could hear Calum talking obnoxiously loud on the phone.

I tried to tune it out as I started to wipe the cabinets down and re-bag the trash can. I start to boil some water and pull out the ingredients for lasagna. I preheat the oven and find the noodles and jarred sauce.

I add the sauce and ground hamburger meat that I had made last night. It took about 15 minutes before I could even begin to layer all of the things. I set my timer for 35 minutes and just lean myself against the counter.

I couldn’t help my mind from racing with all of the annoyance I had built up for Calum. We’re getting married in two months and I have done most of the things by myself. If this is how we’re going to spend our marriage, then I don’t want it.

I hear Calum coming near because I notice that he was saying his goodbyes on the phone. “Something smells amazing in here.” He compliments and stands in front of me. “Thanks,” I mumble and he raises his eyebrows. “Were you home all day?” I ask and he makes a face. “Well, we recorded until 12 and then I came home.” He states and I nod, how fucking great!

It would have been nice if he could’ve picked up a little or remembered our fucking cake appointment.

“Well, that’s great Calum. Glad you had a nice and relaxed day at home.” I sassily remark and he crosses his arms. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He huffs and I laughed, literally fucking laughed.

“I had to come home and do the dishes, take out the trash, make supper, and clean up the kitchen. I’m sure you didn’t do the laundry so I’ll also do that.” I defend myself and he rolls his eyes. “You’re going to bicker about me not doing the chores? You’re not my mom, y/n.” He chuckles but I could tell it was a condescending one.

“Yeah, I’m not your fucking mom Calum. I am your fiancée. Your fiancée that has planned the wedding alone for and is basically now your maid. You have ignored all the times I’ve told you that we had an appointment. I had to try cakes today alone and the look the chef gave me was sad.” I feel the annoyances boiling over. “Well, that’s just stuff I knew you could handle. There’s no point in me being there.” He shrugs it off and I laughed again.

I would have felt better if he had said that he forgot the appointments instead of choosing not to go.

“Calum, the point of you being there is to support this marriage. It’s supposed to be something we do together so it is blended for the big day.” I try to calm myself back down but he just shrugs once more. “It’s too late to worry now.” He blows it off and I had tears starting to surface.

“Calum, I don’t want to marry you if it’s going to be like this. I can cancel all of the things in a heartbeat, I’m not afraid to either. I don’t have to marry you if our lives are gonna stay in this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude.” I spit and his eyes widen.

“What?” His voice cracks a little and I move my hand away when he tries to clasp ours. “I said that I don’t have to be with you. I’m independent, I don’t have to be a maid who plans a wedding and cooks/cleans at home.” I sass and he stumbled a step back.

It was true, I didn’t have to be with him. Of course, I loved him more than anything and it’d be devastating to not be with him, but mama didn’t raise no bitch.

“I-I didn’t know that you were to that point. You never mentioned that it hurt when I didn’t show up. I just thought that you liked to do it on your own or with your sister.” He mumbles and I hear a tiny sniffle. I had to look towards the ground to avoid seeing him cry, I knew it would have me on my knees begging for forgiveness of what I said.

“I told you multiple times that we had appointments at certain places, you chose to ignore that,” I say and he started to weep, I literally was squeezing my eyes and hands so tight so I wouldn’t run back into his arms.

“You are the love of my life and that’s why I proposed. I know I’ve been slacking and I am sorry that you have been doing this stuff without me. I don’t want to even think about not marrying you or not being with me. I’ve loved you for 3 years and I can’t just not be with you.” He grabs my tightened fist and I relax under his touch.

I didn’t know what to say to his little speech, but I knew in my heart that he was being honest. I look up and all I could see was the tears still flowing down his face.

“Calum, I love you with all my heart and soul. We’ve always had bumps in the road but I need a promise, I need to know that something is going to change. I can’t live as your maid, but I can live as your wife.” I explain and he was nodding so quick. “I promise, I promise on Duke's life and the longevity of 5sos.” He was getting closer. “That’s two big things to swear on.” I chuckle and he was pressed up against me.

“Well, I can’t lose you.” He says while pecking my lips continuously. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me into a tight hug.

“What flavor cakes did you get?” He asks as he puts me down and I smile up to him. “Marble, cookie dough, and salted caramel,” I tell him and his eyes go wide. “You actually tried a caramel cake?” He asks and I nod. “It was nasty to me but I’m sure you’re gonna love it.” I laugh and he was grinning big.

“That’s how you know this is real, you tried something you hate but I like.” He pecks my lips again.

“I feel like there are more factors than just a caramel cake.”