#camp kidney

[campy-mccampface]

The flashback in “Slugfest” opens sooo many delightful canon and headcanon cans of worms. And I’m still hammering out my own version of events, (my canon doesn’t necessarily follow things as shown in the episodes,) but here’s what we see and hear. (Be warned, my highlighting methodology is erratic. I wish I was like this in school.)

1. Five years before the episode took place, depending on the month if we really wanna be technical, Camp Kidney was being rebuilt. (And that’s funny considering how fast it has decayed, if true.) Background art only counts for so much of course, but framed photos in Lumpus’ office imply Camp Kidney, if not the Bean Scouts of America as a whole, was founded in 1921. If we choose to believe Season 1 takes place in Summer 2005, (and “Slugfest” specifically in August ‘05,) Camp Kidney therefore was being rebuilt in August of 2000. (My timeline floats and isn’t bound to specific years.)

2. Scoutmaster Lumpus and Slinkman both had hair at this time. (I don’t see Slinkman as too old, so I headcanon he can theoretically grow it back anytime.) You’ll also notice in this episode specifically, without his hat, Lumpus is drawn a few times with a tuft of hair and not his usual three bumps. I like to think this means Lumpus’ hair finally gave up the ghost in Season 1 thanks to the Jellies. Lumpus is canonically at least 62 years old, so… it’s probably gone forever.

3. Slinkman has “outstanding credentials,” “impeccable scouting references,” (so he was a former scout, supported by other episodes too,) a spotless record, and only applied to be a Scoutmaster’s Assistant five years before the series. If he does indeed start work immediately, then we can say he’s been Lumpus’ assistant, and a Scoutmaster’s Assistant in general, since August ‘00. We don’t exactly know that this is the only camp he’s been a Scoutmaster’s Assistant in, but we can probably assume it. We do know for certain that Lumpus has been a Scoutmaster for at least five years. In “The Bean Tree” we learn his grandfather became a Scoutmaster through… elder abuse, handed the role down to Lumpus’ father, and it was then handed down to Lumpus himself at an unknown date. (But we know it was at least five years before the series.)

4. Lumpus has… a whiff of competence? He’s reviewing paperwork, conducting an interview with a potential employee, and all while in an UNFINISHED office. Canon!Lumpus would never. It makes you wonder just how much he’s genuinely lazy on his own versus how much Slinkman’s presence has corrupted him. Can you imagine the Lumpus of 1999 down laundry for scouts?! It’s not altogether impossible. (This of course ignores “Dead Bean Drop” and its own flashbacks. Unless of course Lumpus was still… a sociopath, but not a lazy one. Also, oh my stars, the time capsule in that episode will be opened the next Summer from this post!)

Meh. This was all very here and there, but I needed to get it off my chest. Post!

[livinglavidalumpus]

bana

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Bases and Outposts Headcanons: Camp Kidney

The town of Prickly Pines had nearly begged for the Fusion Fighters to establish a base of some sort nearby to help fend off the fusion monsters that began to appear in the forest.  The Fusion Fighters were happy to obtain a nearby location at the time, as they hadn’t yet established any sort of checkpoint between the suburbs and Mount Blackhead. This–combined with the fusion infection at Leaky Lake forcing both the Bean Scouts and Squirrel Scouts to abandon their camps–led to the swift establishment of the base that was formally Camp Kidney, the buildings and resources there easy to repurpose for the war effort.

Some things at the base are a little more up-to-date than the original camp was, both from the Fusion Fighters pooling in their own resources and borrowing from much of Acorn Flats’ since the latter camp would eventually fall into disrepair without maintenance anyway.  

There are four main duties for the Fusion Fighters stationed there: Observing the various fusion monsters in the woods to gather more information on them, defending the area from said fusion monsters, patrolling both the trails and ziplines, and helping try to clear/contain the infection at Leaky Lake. This means that a variety of Fusion Fighters with different specialties are there, even if in much smaller numbers than at the Mount Blackhead base.  Many are SACT agents.

Studies on fusion monsters are often done in teams, who may journey deep into the forests all the way to Mount Blackhead in order to conduct their research. This work tends to avoid engaging with the fusion monsters directly, but rather watching them from a distance to document behavioral patterns and other similar knowledge.  These teams may be in the field for days to weeks at a time before returning to make a complete report. 

Due to the Toiletnator’s fear toward Planet Fusion and his overall ineptitude as a soldier, he was placed at Camp Kidney largely to keep him out of the way. Even Father--who used him as a go-between for kids and adults--agreed to this placement.  While incompetent with serious tasks though, Toiletnator actually is a big help at the base with day-to-day maintenance like plumbing.  It’s easy for the others to get aggravated with him as he can set their work back (sometimes with serious consequences) by accident, but with the right distractions he can still be useful as well as good to talk to.

May Kanker isn’t technically a Fusion Fighter and shouldn’t be there, but when some of the soldiers attempted to escort her back to her sisters, she outright fought to keep going deeper in the forest to find Ed and gave them a lot of trouble. They would’ve removed her from the base by force if it wasn’t for her surprising skill--given her lack of knowledge in most areas--in science, specifically chemistry.  So, in return for her help with research, they offered to let her stay.  No one, however, plans on telling her where Ed is for both of their safeties...  

In their off-time, Fusion Fighters stationed at the base will usually take a break by returning to civilization for a short while--usually to the town of Prickly Pines. They often visit the different restaurants there, with Eats being one of the more popular locations.  It’s also a good place to gather the latest news on what’s going on in other areas.

The Prickly Pines railway is the primary means of transport for any goods or equipment delivered to the base.  Otherwise, things usually have to be delivered on-foot or by the Monkey Skyway Agents.  

[campy-mccampface]

Whats your main headcanons on scoutmaster lumpus?

get hosed bozos lol

Let’s see:

—Lumpus in 2007 was (at least) 63, so I headcanon he was born in July of 1944. Don’t feel like that means he’s dying soon in the present day, though. This is a cartoon.

—The “C.” in “Algonquin C. Lumpus” stands for “Crawford.” His family is from Crawford County, Wisconsin. It was his father’s idea. Lumpus doesn’t like it (and he sure doesn’t like his father in my HC) so he always just says its initial.

—Lumpus neeever wanted to be a Scoutmaster. His father, a former Scoutmaster and actually the last Scoutmaster at Camp Kidney before him, made him become one. Lumpus seems to love boats and fishing, so I think his dream job would’ve been a sailor or a fisherman. At camp, he’s thus only allowed a taste of each. (Becoming a Scoutmaster seems also to require graduating from the Tomato Scouts, which Lumpus did and hated, and I feel really helped mess him up.)

—Being a Scoutmaster seems to have been the only job he’s ever had, which makes the “cut out for the real world” jokes in “Handy Helper” even funnier. He’s spent his entire life at camp, at Camp Kidney, one way or another, and the minute he tries to step out he’s crushed. A living purgatory. Scoutmaster Sisyphus.

—In the flashback to (roughly) 2000 in “Slugfest,” Lumpus is actually shown to be cordial and competent. This I think was no mere retcon: Lumpus was doing well when left to his own devices, but Slinkman’s arrival enables him to become his current lazy, grouchy, sociopathic self. (Slinkman knows.) This character shift is probably my favorite headcanon for him out of all of mine. I made a fanfiction about it which you can find on AO3, called “Summer of ‘00.” A younger version of Edward’s brother Philip is there too.

—Talking of the Platypus Brothers, Scoutmaster Lumpus haaaated them during their own times at camp. (“O Brother, Who Art Thou” straight up is noncanon to me, okay? It’s a completely different ballgame than what I see happened.) They were the biggest troublemakers he ever dealt with. That appears in “Summer of ‘00” too. And that’s part of the reason he gives Edward virtually no acknowledgement and always gets his name/species wrong. “Pollywog,” indeed.

—Lumpus and Jane met in, I wanna say 1994, when she first took over at Acorn Flats from the last Denmother. Lumpus didn’t care for her much at first and bought into the Beans-Squirrels rivalry, a la his coldness towards her in “Gone Fishing (sort of).” Jane in the same episode, for her part, seems to have treated him as a nice neighbor she has no idea dislikes her, so I’ll say that was her dynamic to him too. (Jane’s just incredibly friendly and personable in general. It’s very rare you see her openly dislike someone.) By the beginning of the show’s events in Summer 2005, they’re both feeling older and worrying about being alone, and Lumpus’ usual crush on her kicks in. Jane is oblivious and takes more time to psyche herself into liking him too. (“Wedding Bell Blues” is also not canon to me. Geesh.)

—Lumpus and Jane marry in the Summer of 2008, but don’t live together until a few years later.

—In my HC, a “class” of scouts runs for five years, ages 10 to 15. So, our usual troop of Lazlo and the gang attend camp from 2005-10 and then leave. At first Lumpus was jubilant that the Troop of 2005-10 left, but he then goes through twoish years of being a shutin. (And that’s very unfair to Slinkman and Jane, but when has Algonquin C. Lumpus cared about fairness?) When he comes back out ahead of his retirement, he briefly falls back in love with the concept of camp. Then, once retired, he realizes he’s been in a state of retirement already, being lazy, and nothing changed. You can read about this in my fic on AO3, “Bean There, Done That.”

—Jane, who I see as younger than Lumpus, retires too at some point and joins him to live in the Scoutmaster’s Cabin full-time. (Lumpus has no money to live elsewhere and the Bean Scouts of America Organization pitied him.) Slinkman, the current Scoutmaster, is also there. Once living together day by day, their marriage becomes a genuine one rather than a loneliness crutch. (And Lumpus learns that being with Jane means accepting her random singing, obsession with poodles, and her habit of being on the phone in the bathtub. You can read about that in my AO3 fic, “Call Center.”)

—Then, Lazlo returns (“NOOOoooOOOOO!” screams Lumpus as he falls to his knees.) He’s now Scoutmaster Slinkman’s assistant! He’ll be living in the cabin attic year-round, and he brought his geeky bird nerd husband Dave with him! And they’re insufferably in love, feeding each other at the table and using pet names! And Jane acts like they’re her beloved boys! And Slinkman won’t cook his breakfast for him anymore! IT’S AWFULLLL! THE FUTURE IS AWFULLLL! (And that’s my “Refried Beans” AU in a nutshell. Lumpus is not a fan. But I’m the writer and I love torturing him.)

[campy-mccampface]

On the Fly Headcanons #2

—The Bean Scouts of America run about 80 camps throughout the country. As has been said, the Bean Scouts were first started by The Big Bean in 1921, and Camp Kidney was the first camp he opened. Camp Kidney became neglected as he opened bigger and better camps, (see: “Hello Summer, Goodbye Camp,”) but when it reopened, it was decided to KEEP it crummy because it’d feel like a different place otherwise. That was Lazlo’s idea because he finds the rusticness fun and TBB agreed with him. (Don’t tell the others that Lazlo technically cost them a state of the art facility. It’d be bad.)

—The Big Bean, and all sentient beans like him such as his cousin Clyde or the former scoutmasters seen in “The Bean Tree,” can live to be hundreds of years old. How they age is a different matter. TBB and Clyde both seem middle-aged despite being over a hundred each, yet the former Scoutmasters, their juniors, aged much faster. Probably the stress of Camp Kidney itself.

—The Big Bean’s first name is “The Big” and his last name is “Bean.” His parents must not have known he’d only grow to be eggplant sized.

—Slinkman’s father emigrated to America from France. (If you see Slinkman’s framed photo of him, you’ll see how I concluded this.) They lived in a swamp, (see Slinkman’s comment about “home” in “Edward’s Big Bag,”) and it was here helping his father cut down trees and collect firewood that little Slinky first wanted to become a scout.

—Nurse Leslie’s weak celery noodle legs are entirely his fault for excessively relying on his wheelie stool. He has however started going to physical therapy and can walk decently with a cane now. Lazlo helped him swear off his stool for good.

—Lazlo’s clearly skilled with woodcrafting in the episodes. He learned this from his father.

—Lazlo loooooves his mom just as much as his dad, but he’ll have a lifelong aversion to hairspray thanks to her globby combs, (see: “Float Trippers.”)

[campy-mccampface]

Some General Headcanons

—Prickly Pines, and thus Camp Kidney, Acorn Flats etc. are located in California somewhere. I say this mainly because Joe Murray’s own camping experience was there! Since the campers never get field trips to the beach, yet they do to the mountains, I assume they’re a bit inland. (A beach episode after a long bus ride, though. That has potential. Hmm.)

—The timeline floats. That’s why in all my stuff you may see smartphones ‘n crap, yet the Nineties still seem ten years ago lol. My justification: time is weird, especially to a kid’s mind, and this is a show centered around kids. I was still writing “2007” on my homework accidentally when it was 2014. (Also this is of course, just a cartoon.)

—Scoutmaster Lumpus is 64 years old. His birthday cake full of candles burst into flames when Slinkman counted to 63 in “The Bean Tree” so he couldn’t get that far pfft.

—Slinkman’s full name is Mark Slinkman! Get it. Hehe. Mark. Slugs leave slime trails. Slime marks. I’m so smart.

—However old Slinkman is, he and Jane Doe are the same age. I’m tentatively gonna say late thirties/early forties but it’s not set in stone yet. They clearly were buddies at camp, (“Step Clam.”) Also I just hate the little gag where she assumes he’s Lumpus’ pet slug and thus doesn’t know who he is so I’m retconning that.

—While we’re on the subject of retcon: I haaaaaaaaaaaate “Lumpus’ Last Stand.” Can’t see it. I can’t read suddenly. I don’t know. What’s this “Lumpus’ Last Stand” of which you speak? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Let’s never discuss it again.

—The campers of both camps are on average, thirteen/fourteen years old. Raj is the oldest, (we’ve seen he gets acne in multiple episodes,) and Edward is the youngest, aging from twelve to thirteen and thus becoming a “Big Boy” like all the other Beans in “Movie Night.” The campers also speak of “years” attending camp and maintain yearbooks, which tells us sleepaway camp isn’t novel to them.

There’s more I have to say for sure, and this is a bit disorganized! But, I need to make a first post of SOME sort, so there ya go.

[m-korlan]

[spooky-cowfish]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE GOING/WENT TO CAMP KIDNEY

its summer camp season