The beat of the music is loud. It echoes and vibrates in Sanji's chest while he stands behind the bar. It's dark, hazy from a smoke machine, different colored strobe lights flashing in reds and greens and yellows and pinks.
He's never been a bartender before, but he's been weirder things when they're pulling heists like these. Low cost and possibly for nothing since his beautiful, clever, marvelous angelic Nami only heard about this treasure through word of mouth.
And so she devised a plan for them to infiltrate the nightclub and steal all their money. Apparently this joint is making more bank than is normal, the reasons behind it still up in the air but Nami hadn't cared about the how unless there was 'much' added right after it.
She'd also said that they're pirates, so giving money to the townsfolk wasn't even in their morale compass. Or lack thereof.
So they've infiltrated. Sanji's playing bartender, making fruity drinks for the lovely, beautiful and visually distracting ladies. Robin is up in a cage hanging from the ceiling, pretending to be one of the go-go dancers. It's equal parts mesmerizing and terrifying.
Luffy and Usopp are right smack in the middle of the dance floor, dancing and pushing people and trying to get more intel on the way this place operates. It's partying, and it happens to be one of the few things that Luffy can do well without causing unnecessary chaos.
Nami and Chopper and Brook are in the upper floors, doing reconnaissance. While Franky and Jinbe wait around the outside perimeter of the nightclub to swoop in if and when need be.
And then there's the marimo.
He's been stuck on bouncer duties, dressed the part with an earpiece and all. It's stupid how he's just as distracting, if not more, than the ladies that crowd Sanji cooing for a drink or two. All he's doing is standing around, for fuck's sake.
But Zoro's arms are crossed in front of his chest, thick muscled arms bulging while girls dance around him and try to cop a feel. He looks as displeased as ever, ignoring the advances while he glows in the colors of the strobe lights. Zoro's eye shifts as he studies the place, staring at the dancing people, at the exits, up at the cages where Robin and other nameless girls are.
And then at him.
Zoro's sharp jaw tenses when his eye locks with Sanji's. An eyebrow twitches, like he's expecting some sort of reaction from Sanji for being caught staring.
Uh, yeah, Sanji's staring.
When Zoro wears clothes like that, it's hard to look away. But Sanji does so, turning to slide a pint of beer towards a man and then shifting his attention to a woman that wants that dumb pink fruity drink he's been making nonstop all night. When Sanji looks back to where Zoro the Bouncer is, it's to amusingly watch him be harassed by women that want to touch his arms. Or his chest.
Sanji can relate.
Quietly, of course.
But he relates nonetheless.
"Three Pink Drinks, mister," slurs a woman. She has ruby-red hair pinned up and her mascara has smudged. She's absolutely gorgeous.
"For you, anything, my dear," Sanji purrs. He grabs a shaker, pouring four different kinds of liquor, some pink concentrate that the place provides and then he shakes it with some ice before pouring them into three flutes with a slice of strawberry as garnish. He presents them to the woman and her friends.
Sanji puffs up with pride when the women shoot him pleased expressions after they take long sips of their drinks. He turns to the little sink just under the bar-counter and washes the shaker and sets it down to dry.
Unable to help himself, he looks up in Zoro's direction but is surprised to see he's abandoned his post. And when he's about to look for a head of moss in the crowd, he hears a sigh. Zoro's slid onto an empty stool, rubbing at his temples with his fingers.
"You're supposed to be bouncing," Sanji accuses, though he's stupidly glad he's here instead. "And pretending not to like the women that are drooling for you."
Zoro's scandalized expressions are always hilarious and it's no different in this moment. His eyebrows are raised, features twisted into a grimace.
"I'm not pretending, twirly-brows," he says, his voice deep and low it's almost hard to hear him over the loud music and louder bass. "What, you jealous?"
Oh, absolutely.
But Sanji doesn't say this. Instead, he chews on the filter of his cigarette, eyeing Zoro's black button down, the amount of cleavage visible because as usual the idiot moss has to leave the first few buttons undone.
Yeah, sure, he's jealous of the girls someone as uninterested as Zoro can pull. But more than anything, he's jealous of the girls being able to flirt so freely with him.
Asshole.
Sanji feels his face grow warm as he grabs a tall-boy, a glass much bigger than a pint, and fills it up with beer. He sets it in front of Zoro. "Here, stupid."
The way Zoro's face lights up is stupid too. Everything about him is so stupid. Ugh, Sanji hates him.
He stares as Zoro gulps down half of the ale, the way his throat constricts with every swallow, the prominent bump in his throat rising and falling in an almost seductive way. How is it that this idiot mosshead doesn't even try to be attractive, yet is? Is Sanji going about this all wrong?
Conspicuously, he looks down at himself. He's wearing a piece similar to the red suit he'd worn in Onigashima. He's missing the jacket, though, and has switched it for a vest. His belt chain jingles with every step he takes, bumping against his hip. He thinks he looks quite dashing, if he says so himself.
"Gimme another," Zoro mumbles, pushing the empty tall-boy back at him.
"No," Sanji says. "You're on the job, moron, or did you forget? Nami-swan will skin us alive if she catches you drinking when you're supposed to be---"
"Oh, shut up," Zoro cuts him off, waving a hand at him. "You talk too much."
Zoro's half off his stool when they both catch Nami stalking down a flight of stairs, her dress swaying with every step, her heels probably loud but not loud enough to reach them where they are in the bar. They both follow her with their stares: she stops at the dance floor, grabbing Luffy and Usopp, she turns to them with angry eyes and then signals them by the way she looks up at Robin.
Sanji whistles, "She looks angry."
"Probably figured out this place is a hoax," Zoro drawls, standing up. "I'll get Robin."
Sanji clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth, throwing down the towel he'd had looped into one of his belt loops. He ignores the crowd of drunks demanding alcohol and turns away.
.
.
"He's doing something to the women," Nami says angrily later, well passed midnight. They've all reconvened in the galley, still dressed in their costumes. "Drugging them or something. That's where he's getting his money: the women."
"That bastard," Sanji hisses, thoroughly scandalized and horrified. How dare some asshole treat women like that! "We have to put a stop to this!"
"Exactly!" Nami slams one hand on the table, the other she points a finger with at Sanji. "This isn't about the money anymore---"
"Riiiiight," says the rest of the crew.
"---But about saving this town from extortion and save all those girls! We have to figure out what he's doing to drug them. It's addictive, clearly, just based off the amount of money he's making from it." Nami crosses her arms in front of her chest. The wine-color of her dress makes her look like autumn incarnate. "And, okay, fine. We need to take the money too. If these people don't know how to hold on to it, then we might as well take it."
The rest of the crew all share a look. Nami seems to be blind to it.
"So: new plan." She claps her hands. "Robin is on recon with me now, since we both can't be down there. Safety reasons."
"Agreed," Robin says with a wide smile. She's still in the lace body suit. It's very distracting.
"So..." Nami slowly starts to turn to Sanji. "Sanji, we need---"
"No." Oh, he hates that he has to cut her off the way that he has. But this is asking for too much and he can't let even a literal angel like Nami get away with this. "Sorry. No."
Nami narrows her eyes.
"Luffy, Usopp, you'll be on the dance floor again. Jinbe, Franky: scoping the perimeter. You'll have Chopper with you. There will be intoxicated girls that need you."
"Right!" Chopper throws his hooves up in the air as Franky lets out a "Yow!" of agreement at the same time that Jinbe gives a curt and solid nod.
"Brook, you're with me and Robin."
"My skin vibrates with the pleasure of being with the two loveliest ladies in the world," Brook exclaims behind his teacup. "Or, well, it would. Except I don't have skin, since I am dead. Yohohohoho!"
Sanji rolls his eyes. Asshole always gets to go with the girls. He can't stand him.
Given their new roles, the majority of the crew gets up and leaves. It's time to rest and get ready for tomorrow. Luffy looks like he'll actually vibrate out of his skin, since Brook is unable to. He may let Nami take the lead on missions like these if only because it lets him have his chaotic version of fun.
When they all leave, it's just Nami, Robin, Zoro and Sanji.
Sanji needs about three cigarettes right now. He throws a very agitated look at Zoro who has his arms crossed in front of his chest and seems to be dozing off. But Sanji isn't stupid: Zoro is very much alert even like this. He probably knows he's being stared at. He probably knows what's going through Sanji's mind right now.
Asshole.
Prick.
Stupid overgrown piece of algae.
Zoro's eyebrow twitches, but he doesn't move.
"Okay, you two," Nami says, hands on her hips. When she leans forward to seemingly look intimidating, she flashes her cleavage and though Sanji knows she's doing this on purpose to get him to agree with her, it works all the same. He feels a familiar tingle at the bridge of his nose. "You have the most important job of all."
Sanji sniffs.
Yup, he's getting a nosebleed any second now. Robin juts a hip out, head tilted to the side to make her look innocent but it's all lies. She's as devious as Nami. Oh, how he loves them both. Sweet demonic angels from hell that they are. Beautiful.
"Zoro, you'll be escorting Candy-chan to the club. You're her date."
"Who the hell is---"
"Nami-swan, do we really need to save these people? It's really none of our business, after all. They've found themselves in this predicament so it's only right we leave them to get themselves out." Sanji pulls out a cigarette from his pack and shoves it in his mouth.
"But... Sanji-kun," Nami starts, her voice going all desperate and sad. Sanji needs to save her and help her and bring down the moon just for her. "These girls need us!"
The girls, right.
These are women in need of his saving, right.
Right.
"I--well--you see---"
"Who's Candy?" Zoro asks again, his eye opened with interest.
"Oh," Robin hums, smile predatorial and serene. "You'll meet her soon."
Zoro furrows his brow and turns to look at Sanji. And that nosebleed Sanji thought he was going to get because of Nami and Robin using their assets to persuade him? Yeah it's totally gone now.
.
.
His hands are sweaty.
Sanji has his eyes closed, the following night, while Robin adds eyeshadow to his upper eyelids. She'd mention it would be subtle but sultry, but she'd also said that before adding the red lipstick. So, despite his heart and soul wilting, he can't trust her words.
"Hm," she hums, a gentle hand tucked under his chin to angle his face. "You make such a beautiful woman, Sanji. Or.... Candy-chan."
"Please don't," he whispers, feeling himself shriveling up.
It's one thing to have this trump card in their back pockets for when they really need it. It's another for them to actually use it. He'd told Nami and Robin about Candy-chan one night during spiked tea time. It'd been the biggest mistake of his life. And so now here he is.
He's dressed in a black velvet dress that reaches the middle of his thighs, blond extensions teased into beach waves. His feet already hurt in these heels and he hasn't even moved yet. When he opens his eyes, he looks... Well, shit, Robin is good as hell at doing makeup and he looks good. He'd appreciate it more if not for the circumstances.
"Up," Nami chants, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him. "Oh my god, Sanji, did you know you have a nice ass?"
Sanji's face grows super hot.
"It's all the leg work," he mutters.
When he looks at them, he sees the girls sharing a look. He doesn't get it, much like he rarely gets a lot of their silent conversations. Sanji looks back at the mirror. There are still elements of the man in him: his muscled arms, under the long velvet sleeves, his lack of a chest, the coarse hair on his chin and his legs. But it's so easily overlooked by everything else: the length of the dress, the height of the heels, the amazing makeup and hairstyle.
Sanji gulps.
"Let's go get your man!"
Oh god.
Oh god.
"Ladies, I really think I'm about to projectile vomit," he says as Robin and Nami grab either of his hands and lead him out of their quarters. "I think I need to sit this one out."
"Nonsense," Robin soothes.
"Yeah, doubt it," Nami says with a mischievous laugh. "You wouldn't waste food like that."
And you know what? She's fucking right. Damn.
The others have already left to get into position. If they all arrive together, it'll be too suspicious, that's what Nami'd said. So it's just the two of them, Sanji and wherever the hell Zoro's fucked off to. They go down the gangway and Sanji doesn't need to wonder where the directionless idiot's gone to for long.
Zoro's leaning against the rope railing, arms resting on the thick rope. He's dressed a little similarly to his bouncer getup, but he lacks the earpiece. Too bad. The earpiece was sexy.
Wait, no it wasn't.
"Here she is!" Nami sings before Sanji can mentally prepare himself for whatever look Zoro'll give him upon seeing him dressed like this.
Zoro doesn't move much: he just tilts his head to the side to look at them. Sanji watches Zoro's expression: he looks Nami up and down, looks Robin up and down and then looks at him. And does a double take. And a triple one too. He stands up straighter, looking at the outfit, the hair, the face.
His mouth opens and Sanji waits to hear the retorts. But nothing comes: Zoro's been rendered speechless.
.
.
"Stop looking at me," Sanji sneers. Or he tries to sneer. He's not really able to do that when he's trying to be conspicuous. His hand twitches in Zoro's grip.
"Can't," Zoro says. Blunt as ever, Sanji sees. "I'm trying to understand."
"Understand what?" Sanji asks as they move up the line to get into the club. Nami and Robin have already left them and have used their stealth methods learned in Wano to get inside. "The concept of a man dressed as a woman?"
Zoro snorts, his hand squeezing Sanji's. "No, idiot. I know what that is. I'm trying to understand when this became a thing, how it became a thing and how you've managed to learn to walk in those god-awful shoes."
Sanji turns to him and he watches, in real time, how Zoro observes his features. How his own shifts the more he studies the makeup and the hair. "You don't care about the drag?"
"Why would I?" Zoro asks. He shrugs a shoulder. "People should be whoever they want to be. You look good."
He sneaks in the last part and Sanji almost misses it in favor of appreciating the fact that Zoro is an ally. Not that he's Sanji's ally. Or, wait, okay, he is, but not Candy-chan's. Wait---fuck, he's just turned into a mental mess. It's convoluted.
Sanji turns to him, prepared to say something. But then he catches where Zoro's attention is at and it thoroughly evaporates from his mind. "Are you checking out my ass?"
It startles Zoro, who stands straighter and looks away. "No."
"You really into this?"
Zoro scoffs. "I don't know what you're talking about, cook."
"It's Candy," Sanji mutters, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The shit he does to stay in Nami's good graces.
They both stay quiet after that, both equally flustered for similar and different reasons all in one. Sanji knows Zoro's attracted to nothing but power and violence, but in this moment he feels like the idiot sees something in him. Is it because he's dressed as a woman?
Is it the concept of a woman, Sanji wonders?
Zoro's never shown interest in women. All girls that throw themselves at him are thoroughly ignored. Even Princess Hiyori, who was Wano's most beautiful woman ever became infatuated with him and Zoro didn't bat an eye. He did spare Kikunojo many glances though, Sanji dislikes to remember.
So is it really the femininity?
Sanji jumps a little and sucks in air when he feels a hand pressed to the small of his back. They're next in line.
"What the fuck," he hears Zoro whisper.
He's about to ask him what the problem is, but he feels Zoro's fingers trace the width of his waist. Sanji's face grows hot again, distractedly accepting the flute of the pink drink the club is known for. Each woman that comes in receives a free one. Sanji's eyes flutter as they step into the darkness, the bass booming, the strobe lights flashing.
Sanji's distracted, it's the only reason why he takes a generous drink of the alcohol he's been provided. It's sweet, but he can still taste the alcohol in the aftertaste. It's also addictive, Sanji thinks as he takes another long sip. He lets Zoro lead him for once, which should be a bad idea. But how lost can he get them, if they're inside a nightclub?
"This is actually pretty good," he murmurs, tilting his head back to drink the rest of the pink drink. He licks his lips, tasting lipstick and the strawberry-ness of the drink. Also the tequila and vodka.
He lifts the empty flute up and both he and Zoro stare at its emptiness and the red lipstick mark on the rim.
He hears Zoro mutter something, but can't really hear what.
"Are we going to dance?" Sanji asks.
"No."
Well that's just too bad, he thinks.
Zoro's found a couch for them to sit at. It's leather and cream-colored. Sanji crosses a leg over the other, shifting so he's a little to his side and facing Zoro. He's a handsome bastard, Sanji thinks, looking at the sideburns, the strong, angular jaw, the brown skin and golden freckles.
"Won't you get me another of that pink drink?" he asks with a pout.
Zoro turns to him, his eye scanning Sanji up and down before sighing and getting up off the couch. Sanji watches him go for a moment, staring at his broad shoulders and how it stretches his shirt taut. And the tapered waist. Can't ever not look at that. Usually, Zoro wears baggier clothes and his body his hidden under it, as well as that god-awful haramaki. Like this, he's showing every muscle he's got. It's a very nice sight, Sanji thinks, playing with the ends of one of his blond extensions.
Blinking, he grabs the bag Nami provided him, small and made of similar material to his dress. Inside are his cigarettes and lighter. He definitely needs these. He slips one in between his lips and lights it up, wondering if the buzz he feels is the nicotine or the drink.
Around him, people dance. Some dance in place, jumping even, like Usopp and Luffy who he can see from where he sits. Others grind in a filthy kind of dance. Others sway. Sanji observes it all, exhaling from one corner of his mouth as he turns his head this way and that way.
He isn't sure how long Zoro's gone, but he notices when he comes back. He has a flute of that pink drink in one hand and a tall-boy of beer in the other. Nami'd reluctantly given them money to play their part.
"Here," Zoro mutters, sitting down and handing Sanji the flute.
Sanji's pulse flutters. He really wanted this. He takes a long and generous gulp, the contents of his drink only half-full when he pulls away.
Zoro's watching him, brow furrowed. But he doesn't say anything, rather, he just takes a gulp of his own beer. Sanji drinks the rest of his alcoholic drink in record time, setting the flute down on the table in front of them. It has his lipstick stain on it as well.
"I want another one," Sanji murmurs, turning to Zoro with a pout.
Zoro's face does a funny thing that Sanji can't really point out. He's feeling a good buzz, he's happy to take note. He pulls his cigarette out, his lipstick on the filter. Zoro zeroes in on it, swallowing hard.
"Get me another drink, marimo," he just about whines. "You're supposed to be my date."
"You are really needy," Zoro seethes, gulping the rest of his drink like it's water. "Fine. Stupid annoying candy cook."
It's so nice to have him like his little butler servant boy, Sanji thinks with a dopey smile.
The rest of the night goes like this. Sanji inhales his pink drink and then whines for another. Zoro looks like he's inching closer to his wits end for more reasons than one. Each time he comes back with a drink, Sanji gets closer, until his front presses to Zoro's side.
"Marimo," he slurs fingertips tracing his jaw. "Won't you dance with me?"
"No."
Zoro looks at anything but him. Sanji is so upset at this, leaning closer to ghost his lips to the hinge of his jaw. He blames the alcohol. The red lipstick mark looks so good against Zoro's skin.
"Stop," Zoro just about pleads, his voice hoarse. "You're killing me here."
Sanji tilts his head and it seems like his hair tickles Zoro because he slaps it away from his skin. "Mmm?"
"You're drunk."
"Nuh-uh," he hums, fingetip on Zoro's thigh. "Not drunk enough. That's why you should get me another drink."
He traces patterns on Zoro's thigh, gleeful at the feeling of how the muscles there twitch. He presses his front to Zoro's arm. Damn, he wishes he had tits. Later he'll feel weird at that thought, but he's too tipsy for it right now.
"You've literally had five in the last hour," Zoro stresses, waving a hand at the empty flutes on the table.
"Even numbers are nicer," Sanji says, fluttering his eyelashes. "Another one? Please?"
He leans ever closer, his lips on Zoro's cheek.
Zoro swats him away, abruptly standing up. He's muttering to himself as he walks away, but Sanji can't make out what he says. The music is loud, the bass thumping and booming. He's never been much of a dancer but he really wants to at this moment.
Sighing, he pulls another cigarette and lights up.
.
.
Hours pass and Sanji's good and drunk now.
He doesn't know how many of those addictive pink drinks he's had but it never seems to be enough. Earlier, Zoro'd mentioned how they've gone through more than half of the money Nami'd given them. Sanji's been begging for another pink drink but Zoro's been reluctant to go get him another.
Sanji knows he can just go himself. Somewhere in his mind, where it's not foggy and numb with alcohol, he knows this.
But instead, he plops himself on Zoro's lap, looping his arms around his neck. He nuzzles him, purring at the choking sound Zoro makes.
"One more," he whines, lips dangerously close to Zoro's own. "Please, marimo? One more?"
"San---Candy...."
Sanji hums, swinging his legs a bit, scooching closer up Zoro's lap. Zoro grips him to keep him in place, blunt nails digging into Sanji's skin.
"Stop," he wheezes, voice hoarse.
No, Sanji thinks, he will not!
He kisses up Zoro's jaw, mouthing at the sharpness there, humming as he goes. He nibbles at his chin, fingers scraping Zoro's scalp. Sanji feels him go noodly, which is something when it's Roronoa Zoro the one doing it. That man doesn't know what the term 'relax' means.
"One more?" he asks again, lips hovering above Zoro's.
Zoro doesn't say anything, his eye glassy and dazed as he looks at him. Shrugging, drunk Sanji leans in and kisses him properly. It's more like they're devouring each other, the kiss turning heated very quickly. He nips at Zoro's bottom lip, tip of his tongue tracing the offended tender flesh a second later.
Sanji must admit he's wanted to do this for a while. He can't even blame it on the alcohol anymore, though it plays a good part on the fact that he's acted on the urge. His tongue and Zoro's tongue touch; it's an electrifying sensation. He vaguely wonders what the charges for public indecency is.
"One more?" he asks again when he pulls away.
Zoro's mouth is all red with lipstick. He looks very dazed for a second before it's all gone in a blink of an eye.
"What?"
"One more pink drink, marimo?" He can also just shove his hand in Zoro's pocket, take the berri and go get himself a drink himself... "Hm?"
Zoro blinks hard again, like he's having trouble coming down from whatever high he's on. Sanji shifts on his lap, smile slow, lascivious and knowing.
"Just one more," he continues, finger tracing the slope of Zoro's nose. "Promise."
"You said that the last three times, cook---" Sanji leans in to press a chaste kiss to Zoro's lips. Zoro allows it for a second before remembering himself and pulling away.
"They're so good! You should have one! I'd drink it forever if I could," Sanji says with a pout. "Wanna drink it forever."
Zoro stops and stares at him, then his eye shifts to the army of empty flutes on the table, each one with Candy's red lipstick stain.
"Aw fuck," Zoro mutters, snatching Sanji's bag and pulling out the tiny den-den mushi out. It rings, though it's all hard to hear with the music. Sanji wants another drink and he wants to dance.
He leans in and mouths at Zoro's jaw, down to his neck this time.
"Witch," Zoro says, voice constrained. "I know what the drug is."
Fic link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85867706
70k, 16 chapters, finished, will post weekly.
Summary
Zoro is stuck in a kinky cave with a very nervous angry Sanji whose kink is roleplaying as an okama.
Zoro is not ready for that flavor of Candy.
Nor for what it makes him discover about himself.
Fic tags:
- Canon Universe, Canon Compliant
- Top Roronoa Zoro/Bottom Sanji (One Piece), Top Sanji/Bottom Roronoa Zoro, Top Roronoa ZoroBottom Sanji (One Piece), Power Bottom Sanji (One Piece), Top Sanji (One Piece), Bottom Roronoa Zoro, Power Bottom Roronoa Zoro
- Asexual Roronoa Zoro, Bisexual Sanji with a twist, Crossdressing Sanji, Crossdressing
- Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Feelings, Romance, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut
- Fuck Or Die, Sex Pollen, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex Talk, Feelings Realization
- Autistic Roronoa Zoro, Oblivious Roronoa Zoro, Roronoa Zoro is Whipped (One Piece), Roronoa Zoro and Sanji Bickering, Character Study, Conversations about Masculinity
