Imagine the decision that bought you your final breath,
with Captain Levi.
levi x gn reader
Genre||Vibe; stay, "no.", i'm not risking you out there, final expedition, unprofessional order, scout and captain, "i should've...", duty over safety, duty over you, "please no, god no."
Summary; You were prepared for it, the expedition, in fact you've been prepared for it for months. What you weren't prepared for was a captain who told you to stay put and demanded to choose safety over the duty you've dedicated yourself to. He didn't give you a choice, yet you still forced to have the final say—whether he knew about it or not.
🗡tags; sfw || canon-compliant || angst || military relationship || captain levi || implied finality
🗡word count; 944
🗡a/n; am i going to be abusing my emotions for the next few posts? yes. yours too? i hope so. ENJOY!
“No.”
That’s what he’d said. That’s what Levi insisted with stern finality shutting down the short-lived argument between the two of you yesterday morning.
It was a simple no—him declining. Him not giving you the choice to even defy this one time he had said no to you. Maybe that was why you couldn’t take it, because you were used to not hearing no from him. Maybe because you knew it was a stupid request—to stay back for an expedition, especially coming from someone who was technically high authority. To stay safe while everyone else—while he was out there, beyond a wall you couldn’t cross the second he slipped once even when you knew he never did.
Levi didn’t even give you a valid enough reason to stay back. Professionally speaking.
Dangerous, he’d said. As if that wasn’t highlighted in the job description. Risky, he’d said. As if you didn’t have a dozen records of taking risks inside and outside the wall. Suicide, he’d said. As if that hasn’t been what you all were trained and prepared for.
None of what he’d argued with sounded enough to convince you to stay back—not that there would be any reason you’d take to agree.
But since the exchange stopped at the final no—since the expression he turned his back to showed nothing but remorse and defeat, he assumed you’d follow.
Hoped you will.
You hadn’t talked to him since that conversation. Not lunch at noon, not training during late afternoon, not the evening that felt colder than usual with the dread the scouts were carrying for the following day.
It made you feel all the more inclined to talk to Erwin—for clarity. For a decision you seem to not be able to make.
Which was why you now stood in his office, in the middle of the night, even past curfew, watching the commander look down at his papers, thinking. At this hour, you were usually in Levi’s office, bothering him, or just lounging there as if you weren’t a scout under him—as if you were everything and more to him.
You were.
You are.
Tonight, instead of the comfort of that scene before tomorrow’s expedition, here you were, tellin on him to Erwin.
The blonde man spoke, “You are a part of the formation,” he looked up, “and you’re still expected to join the expedition.”
A pause. You feel the air inside the office grow still, but you still bristled as if his words hit you cold enough.
“A verdict on that matter is above Levi's rank.”
All you replied with was a blunt nod, then dismissed. You were out of the office minutes later, feet dragging to your barracks, eyes glued to the cold stone ground.
You didn’t know why your heart twisted wrong. This was what you wanted, but knowing that it was the opposite of what Levi had asked of you—almost begged of you—suddenly the world felt like it tilted permanently.
You didn’t know how to straighten it back.
The morning’s atmosphere bled through the cracks of the barrack’s stone. It was busy, crowded, and filled with the kind of silence that was a mix of determination, fear and acceptance. The shuffle of metal against leather echoed around, gear brushing onto straps, blades clicking into gear slots, handles that rattled every time someone took them out of their holsters.
Amidst all the chaos, your mind was a mess.
Usually, during the hours before expeditions, you were conditioned enough. Your hands never shook, your eyes never trembled, your insides didn’t feel weak—but this time wasn’t like the previous times.
This time—something felt final.
That same hour, Levi stood in his office, eyes scanning about the familiar space before he turned to the door, hooking his cloak over his body.
Your conversation with him rang in his head for every second of the day yesterday, every minute the both of you decided that distance was the better choice after the argument. Each hour he’d wanted to look for you—to talk to you before the next day, before he left knowing that you’d be staying. He couldn’t, he didn’t. Not even now.
The hour the formation’s being managed at the open area nearing the gate, you were among the many heads, like any other scout on their horse. You checked over your gear then looked back up, settling your feet on the stir-ups of your horse—grounding yourself in a sense.
You haven’t seen Levi at all. Not at the headquarters, not the stables, not out here minutes before leaving the safety of the walls.
If only you could hop off your horse or stir it somewhere clearer just to get sight of him, you would’ve. You would’ve. You should’ve.
Maybe you should’ve looked for him this morning. Told him you’d be going, told him you wouldn’t just stay back while everyone else rode out. You should’ve told him you were here, that you choose to be here.
But you didn’t, and shit, you hoped you wouldn’t regret it.
Levi was at his usual position, just behind the commanding front. His eyes were straight ahead. He hadn’t seen you—and that kept his thoughts steady, that kept his worries bound. You were safe. To him you weren’t here to face the crap that half the regiment would likely not survive.
He knew the plan. He knew the odds. He knew that you would be fine.
When Erwin began yelling, when the smoke shell he shot out streaked towards the sky, Levi looked back, peering at the faces that might not come back.
His focus shattered the moment his horse thrusted forward.
There you were.
There you were.
'til next time. cheers, my love
p.s; as promised, two posts today! im inclined to connect this to tomorrow's post but EH, we'll see. yippee!
Do you have any go-to Bedward fic recs? Canon compliant is my cup of tea but I’ve found myself liking AH and AU lately, too.
Ooooh good question! I have a ton of recommendations. I will honestly just link everything I’ve read, it’s a lot so prepare yourself lol! Many of these are veryyyyyy old from like the OG twilight days, so some of the writing and ideas in the fics reflect that. Some I used to like a long time ago, and if I were to reread them I’m sure I would form a different opinion LOL! Some are also super serious, and deal with heavy themes. So make sure to read the content warnings! Some are super light hearted and fun. Also make sure to read the tags because sometimes I get half way through a fic and I realize that it’s not my cup of tea tbh. But here are all of my recs:
16. Bringing In The Light - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75461041/chapters/198826361
I also recommend anything by Windchymes, I really enjoyed The Keepsake, Distractions, Eight Days, and I am planning on reading Blood Lines soon! - https://m.fanfiction.net/u/1943566/windchymes
I’m sure im forgetting something, but thank you for the ask!!! Please DM me if you read any of them I wanna dissect them with you 🫶🏻
A fic written for the FFWotSPNF Discord Server's Monthly Challenge
The prompts were two-fold "under the mistletoe" and an excerpt of a song that went like this: "He sees you when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake [...] Krampus is coming to town."
I picked option number 2 😈
A decidedly not fluffy holiday fic to end the year with, as Sam and Dean contend with Krampus on a hunt in rural Texas.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Category: Gen
Relationship: Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester (no slash)
Art: mine🥰 (@masoenart)
Divider art credit: @talesmaniac89
Summary: A dark Christmas tale that sees Sam and Dean work a hunt in rural Texas, going after the one and only Krampus. A kind of evil version of Santa that takes all the naughty children away in his bag, or so they think after missing children were reported with strange statements about a horned attacker by the parents.
The Letter He Never Meant for You to Find - Steve Harrington x Reader
Steve Harrington x Reader
While rummaging through Steve's tapes, you stumble across a letter he never meant for you to find - one laced with vulnerability, fear, and a confession he's too scared to say out loud. As your heart races and questions swirl, you're forced to confront everything that's been left unsaid between you. But when Steve finds out you've read his words, what starts as panic slowly transforms into something real: a moment of honesty, a step toward something deeper, and a chance neither of you knew you were brave enough to take.
854 words
You hadn't meant to find it.
You were at Steve's place, crouched by the cabinet under his bedroom window, rifling through dusty cassette tapes, looking for the one mix he'd promised had "life-changing" track transitions. The one with Springsteen and a weirdly emotional Hall & Oates segue.
What you found instead was a crumpled piece of notebook paper, hidden beneath the pile. You might not have even touched it, if not for the faint smear of Steve's handwriting on the edge.
Curiosity tugged at you like a hook in the chest.
You unrolled it slowly. And then you read it.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's because I've never been good at saying how I feel out loud. Maybe it's because, deep down, I'm terrified of being honest with the one person who's actually gotten close enough to hurt me. But here goes...
I'd never felt more vulnerable than I do right now. With you. I never thought I'd be this guy. The guy who doesn't know how to talk to the girl he likes, who tries to cover up how much he really cares because he's afraid it's too much.
I watch you laugh, I see the way you look at me sometimes, and I wonder if you even know. I wonder if you can tell how much I wish I could be brave enough to say all the things I want to say to you, instead of hiding behind jokes or that stupid hair.
You deserve someone who's not afraid. Someone who doesn't hesitate to tell you they love you, someone who's not terrified of losing you. But I guess that's the problem - I'm scared. I'm scared of loving you, scared of how much it would hurt if you left. And I know that's not your fault.
I don't know what's worse, the thought of never being with you, or the thought of telling you how I feel and having you walk away. But if you're reading this... I guess I'm just trying to figure it out. Maybe one day I'll say it. Maybe one day I'll have the guts to tell you I love you. But for now, I guess I'll just leave it here.
Steve.
Your heart pounded.
Every little moment with him - the glances, the touches that lingered, the teasing that felt like more - rushed back like a tidal wave. But was it about you? Was it you he meant? Or were you just hoping too hard?
"(Y/N)?" Steve's voice echoed up the stairs.
Panic lit a fuse inside you. Without thinking, you folded the letter and shoved it into your jacket pocket.
"Yeah!" you shouted back, snatching the nearest cassette tape. "I grabbed the first one I saw."
You hurried down, tape in hand, hoping your face didn't portray anything.
Steve met you at the bottom, a curious smile on his lips. "Which one'd you grab?"
You handed it over. "The Cure."
He smirked. "Solid choice."
The tension in your chest threatened to burst, but you forced a smile. "So... how was your day? Busy?"
He leaned back against the counter. "Same old Family Video chaos. You know how it is." His voice was casual, but something in his eyes flickered - like he could feel the shift, too.
You didn't know what to do. Tell him you'd found it? Pretend you hadn't?
"Hey," you blurted. "I saw something earlier. A letter. In your tapes."
The way his expression shifted told you everything.
His shoulders tensed. His eyes dropped to the floor. "You... read it?"
You nodded slowly. "I didn't mean to. I just found it."
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking ten times more vulnerable than usual. "I didn't mean for you to see that."
"I know," you whispered. "But I did. And... Steve, you can't just write stuff like that and expect it to disappear."
He let out a breath, nodding. "I know. I was just... I didn't think I'd ever have the nerve to say any of it out loud."
You stepped closer, your voice soft but steady. "Do you mean it?"
His eyes met yours, raw and open. "Yeah. Every word. I've been scared out of my mind, (Y/N). I didn't want to mess this up."
"You could've just told me, you said. "I would've listened."
"I know. I just... I've never felt like this before." His voice cracked. "I didn't know if you'd feel the same. I still don't."
You took a shaky breath. "Well... what happens now?"
Steve stepped forward. "I want to figure that out. With you. I don't want to keep hiding behind the cool guy act. I want to be honest. Real."
You looked up at him, at those tired but sincere eyes, and smiled. "Then just be here, Steve. That's all I've ever wanted."
He smiled back, a little sheepish, a little hopeful. "So... we're good?"
You reached for his hand. "We're better than good."
And for the first time in a long time, nothing was hidden. No letters. No secrets. Just you, Steve, and a chance to start again - together.
The lands beyond the wall are mesmerising: the rolling hills and lush forests stretch on until the edge of the horizon, where they fade into the glimmer of a distant river or a lake. Birds soar over it all with the freedom of the wind.
And yet, Ambrosius is scared. His imagination fills the woods with shadows and eyes and teeth, and he hears a dragon's shriek in the eagles' cries.
He takes a fortifying breath and looks at his companion. Bal is scanning the landscape with awe, and grief, and a small spark of hope that must mean he's also thinking of glinting eyes and sharp fangs.
Ambrosius closes his eyes, grits his teeth, and allows the guilt to wash over him.
When he looks up again, the glittering landscape remains: a bright unknown spanning a distance far beyond what the eye can see.
He reaches out for Bal's hand.
"Ready?" he asks.
Bal takes a moment to focus on him, as though he had to drag his spirit back from a distance as great as where the land meets the sky.
"Yeah. I'm ready."
Scary as it might be, the future before them promises adventure, not a threat.
