#care tasks

[rainbowhyperfixation]

This is a big thing that I continue to work on unlearning/relearning

[glitteringpandemonium]

Borrowed from myvictoriannightmare

HUZZAH! I was really, really in a mood to make another one of these, for giggles, to help motivate me through everything I need to get done at home.

After minimizing my body wash collection, tossing near-empties and stuff that's just been lingering for FOREVER in the shower, and putting away the Christmas ones I won't use for months (so not counting those, or the teensy bit of Vampire Blood left, which I plan to use next time then throw out)....

I have 13 body washes. Lucky 13.

(And a TON of Dr. Squatch soap bars, in the cupboard, along with a platoon of scented foaming hand soaps.)

But the shower is clean, and the bottles are organized. Now, I have to finish the bathroom. Also still have to sort out the kitchen and the general chaos caused by my feline overlord.

Reminding myself periodically of the article I read where Kiefer confessed a guest was super impressed by the cleanliness of his home, during a party, only for someone else to tell her he keeps it that clean all the time, which she found rather frightening.

I don't think I will achieve THAT vibe, but I can at least give today my best shot, and do some more after work tomorrow, if need be. Wish me luck!

[sicilyjoywrites]

How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis.

Wow! Here is a book less than 3 hours on audiobook about how to keep your home and life functional during the hardest of times, and because of this book, I had plenty to reflect on in therapy.

Let's back up: How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis shares tips on getting care tasks done such as cleaning your home and yourself. But it’s also about how to let go of the moralizing and shame about these tasks. KC Davis says many times that care tasks are morally neutral. The tips are really helpful to those of us who are disabled, chronically fatigued and chronically in pain, especially how to prioritize the important stuff like dealing with trash and taking our medicine. But the suggestions are helpful to anyone, whether they are stressed, overworked, raising kids, etc.

I think the real gems of the book are where she gets the reader to reflect on possible shame and even trauma around these tasks. Whether your parents shamed you around cleaning or you grew up in neglect or you experienced other forms of toxicity around care tasks, this book is for you.

I had a moment where I just said " oh" as I realized that's why I can’t clean the bathroom, especially the toilet. It’s a trigger for me. Now that I know, I have no problem asking my spouse to be in charge of toilets.

The book also talks about how guilt around environmentalism impedes disabled people taking care of themselves and their spaces. It talks about how to create equal rest time in the household and other tools to have a functional life and house. I honestly knew this would be a 5 star read when I heard her say, "Throw it away." And it just got better from that point on. This book is for everyone: 5 stars!

[likeawildthing]

I’ve talked about developing a closing routine in the last few months, largely in response to daylight savings time and creating ritual and warmth at night. Tonight was the first night it was actually routine without a reminder or prompt—all automatic at 8:30! I didn’t need to create the atmosphere (jazz or medieval tavern music, soft lighting), although that does make it more fun.

I’ve been doing this for almost four months and this feels like a breakthrough. I’m no stranger to routines, but cleaning routines have always kicked my butt. Once I was able to remove the moral value and start to think of it as functionality and caring for future me, it made this sort of thing much easier.

So every morning my sink is clean, my garbage is empty, and my floors are clean. It’s a nice way to start the day, and I’ve saved so much mental load from having to put off doing any of these tasks for days at a time. Like having a place for my keys, there is a slot in my day for these care tasks. And I’ve also slowly been adding to the list — so preparing morning meds, morning food, cleaning the cats soft food bowl. Caring for future me is a good daily time investment.

I owe these concepts 100% to KC Davis on tiktok, by the way. Her book on struggle care (caring for yourself and your space when you are overwhelmed with life, executive dysfunction, mental illness, physical disability) transformed the way I feel about these things.

[thoughtportal]

Love as women's work

[glitteringpandemonium]

Still have yet to visit New Orleans. It’s on the “bucket list.” But I do own some French Quarter decor (including an art print I still have to mount). The bathroom is all French Quarter, with a bonus nearly-life-size Elvira cutout.

My day, gratitude, my living space below.

Kiddo figured out Elvira’s face works with Snapchat filters. 🤣 She did a very funny “GRWM and my mom’s Elvira cutout” bathroom selfie pic one year when she was visiting.

Anyway, I had thrifted that 3D fleur de lis I think last year and never got around to doing anything with it. Happened upon it tonight during my mini living room overhaul, and BAM!!! Freshly painted/colored (oil pastels and acrylics).

I also found the sewing kit so I can try to fix the teensy hole kitty clawed in my leggings. Yay!

I still need to vacuum around the couch, AND touch up everywhere else. But I straightened from the couch to the entertainment center. Realizing in the process that I need more bookshelves. 🤣 The book piles. Oooooh, the book piles….

But considering the wall I hit mid-clean-up, I think I did pretty well. And the cat is once again enjoying the top of the couch. AND I think I will have to ship kiddo the two larger stuffies she asked me not to toss/donate. They don’t look right, anywhere, with my space. Which is entirely okay. (Not pictured… the Baby Mothman ones on the couch are both mine.)

A very merry Imbolc and happy full moon to any who celebrate. Haven’t done anything specifically witchy just yet but may break out the new Tarot cards, etc.

And lastly, 100 Reasons to Stay Alive, Reason 7

7) unexpected discoveries, and their potential to fuel creativity and growth— like the fleur de lis, the metallic gold paint from October when I painted my pumpkin, the oil pastels I’ve been enjoying, and the sewing kit to save my pants 🤣

[thoughtportal]

do the fucking dishes

[glitteringpandemonium]

Cat for tax!

She has HAD IT with the bright lights and the commotion and me not being in bed. She started out on the other end of the couch then curled up on my hoodie. So I purrito’d her, loosely. She seems to be enjoying that.

Update on where the cleaning madness is at:

NOT like I am putting Martha Stewart to shame or anything. Clutter seems to gather around me like glitter and fabulosity. So tables etc and kitchen counters still have “stuff.” And some things I only 3/4 did because I have one major project left before I can try to get some sleep.

But still. Vast improvements.

I plan to tidy up the floor around my PC desk in the morning. Just discovered the charger for the mini vac, which should be perfect and hopefully quieter than the full-on vacuum. Charging that now.

Burning the midnight oil and putting my all-nighter history to the test. There’s a thing. It has to be as clean as I can manage, by 8 AM.

A little moar caffeine, and I’m starting the last remaining room. But man, was I ever glad I had already one day taken it upon myself to straighten the living room/couch some. And fix up my room while searching for a pill bottle I in fact never found (but now my room is clean). So I had two rooms already mostly done.

Aaaaaaah wish me luck!!!