#cat brain

[rainyhowls]

inspired by this post that i think abt too often

[amr-alterhuman]

I've been pet before so on some level, I understand why cats (& other pets) appreciate being pet so much. =^w^= It's so soothing and affectionate.

[citrine-elephant]

i want to chew on leon s kennedy and then spit him back out so i can watch him desperately crawl away before i bite and gnaw at his leg again

[chaioticcoffee]

HEAR ME OUT

I was talking to a friend about how Crosshair is a cat and we started imagining him getting transformed into a cat and just doing the typical cat things to TBB like just laying on Tech's datapad while he's using it or how he'd pretend to be asleep while Wrecker pets him until he decided enough is enough AND OFC how he would annoy the crap out of Hunter <33

so

I hand you Crossfurry

[ailourous]

let me observe the outside, perched gracefully on the sill of a sunny window. let me trot, tail high, feeling mother earth beneath my paws. let me be sociable, but still independent. let me sharpen my claws, buried in the unsuspecting birch. let me catch a carp in the clear crystal stream. let me clean away the nature of the day's travels from my long auburn fur.

let me shed a tear to the stars that i will never have this, with not another soul there to judge.

[spicylilfruittart]

Mister Spooky Beans has not a single thought in his cute little head, no thinks only loves.

[danepopfrippery]

Things we need (as @hotdiggitydollie inspired in me): Rhys Darby having a show or youtube where he just tours cat cafes and dog rescues. I think it would be ADORABLE

(Gizmo could be his assistant)

[sigs-gurney]

I learned about the insane world of slap-fighting - a REAL sport mind you - and gave some of my coworkers slap-fighter names

Here goes it:

Manager 1 - Stick Bug (tall and lanky, has somewhat stunted movements and a gate like a stick bug, anxious af and rather harmless but I think if he swung hard enough his stiff arms could do some real damage)

Manager 2 - White Knight (he is the most unproblematic white boy with a mostly unpassionate flat affect, also stood up for me against that one coworker)

General Manager - Hidden Switch Blade (I just think he’d carry one just bc it’s funny)

Assistant Manager - Karrot Kake (ginger and slightly pudgy, also appreciates stupid things like replacing hard c’s at the beginning of words with k’s)

Coworker 1 - Brokeback Bastard (big lad who jokes regularly about his degenerative disk disease, a hetero who can do the splits better than most drag queens hence the gay name)

Coworker 2 - Blindsider (basically blind without her glasses, but unexpectedly strong and powerful [met Coworker 1 at a party and punched him bc he drunkenly asked her to after she drunkenly hit him by mistake once already and then knocked him literally off his feet, they’re married now])

Coworker 3 - Shooting Star (name begins with “star” irl, has a very strong personality that overwhelms me on occasion but she’s very sweet)

Coworker 5 - Little Shit (older lady who doesn’t speak any English aside from swear words and names, “little shit” is her favorite thing to say in English [all the managers either speak or have learned some Spanish to communicate with her and taught her said swear words])

Me - Biggie Bendy Straw (one coworker compared himself to Tupac and myself as Biggie and it stuck bc I am teeny and absolutely not gangsta, hyper mobile and have shown most of my coworkers videos/pics of me fitting into tiny spaces [have arranged with coworkers to prank Stick Bug by crawling out of empty cabinets eventually])

Don’t have anymore names atm, but I have decided what type/color of cat everyone would be bc I’ve always LOVED cats and it has permanently affected how I view and understand people my whole life

Me - fluffy colorpoint munchkin (colorpoints are one of my favorite colors, fluffy cats r cool, and I can fit into small spaces)

Manager 1 - black and white cat (almost definitely undiagnosed ASD and takes everything very seriously and at face value)

Manager 2 - white shorthair (see unproblematic whitey statement, impeccably clean and wears the same style pants but in different colors every day)

GM - grey shorthair (very calm and goofy, nonchalant about most things, everyone respects)

AM - short ginger tabby (see ginger above, gets along with everyone)

Coworker 1 - dumb orange and white tabby with busted up tail (ADHD and accident prone and has many scars from it but iron fortitude)

Coworker 2 - solid tortoiseshell (assertive and takes no shit but also kind)

Coworker 3 - fabulous greying silver and white tabby longhair (very glam personality, ate it up in the 70s)

Coworker 4 - short greying black shorthair (arbitrary color choice bc black cats are just my favorite and she is very very sweet)

Some others I didn’t mention before

Manager 3 - black medium hair (has nice poofy haircut and has a cool moon-related style)

Manager 4 - mousey brown shorthair (has brown hair, quiet but efficient, I made a joke about her cooking a mouse in the oven when she burned bread one time [it smelled bad and def wasn’t a mouse but I have done that on accident at home bc we get mice in the winter])

Coworker 6 - rusty tabby (friendly and mischievous, pulls pranks on Stick Bug on the reg, has gotten hit by cars riding his bicycle numerous times but has never gotten more than a scratch, dumpster dives for no particular reason other than to entertain himself [also tells harmless over exaggerated stories so maybe the car thing has only happened a couple of times])

Coworker 7 - dilute calico and white (boisterous and jokey, usually pretends she understands what you’re talking about but will immediately admit she doesn’t if you ask)

Coworker 8 - generic brown tabby (usually slacks off when he can but still gets his bread, very very southern accent so he reminds me of a barn cat)

And that’s it. Enjoy ig lol