you had never seen Rin this confident over something so stupid.
“it’s just a little shock machine,” he said, rolling his sleeves up like he was about to perform surgery. “how bad could it be?”
you grinned, thumb hovering over the dial on the period pain simulator you’d bought online.
“you sure about that, egoist?”
he gave you that side-eye glare, the one that’s supposed to be intimidating, but his hair was messy and he was in sweats, so he looked more like an annoyed cat.
“just start it already.”
he barely flinched.
“that’s it?” he scoffed. “feels like static.”
you smirked. “oh, we’re just getting started.”
his jaw tightened. his leg twitched.
“…alright, yeah, a little annoying,” he admitted through gritted teeth.
you leaned closer, fake innocence dripping from your voice. “oh? a little annoying? this is what I feel while walking, Rin.”
he shot you a sharp look, but then you turned the dial again.
his breath hitched. he grabbed at his stomach, muscles tensing.
“what the— why does it feel like—”
“cramps,” you said sweetly. “welcome to the club, pretty boy.”
“turn it off,” he muttered.
“awww, already? we’re not even at day two of the cycle yet.”
you turned it up another notch.
he let out a strangled sound, somewhere between a growl and a gasp. his knuckles went white gripping the couch cushion. his face was pink—whether from pain or embarrassment, you couldn’t tell.
“holy— y/n! what is wrong with your body!?” he hissed through his teeth.
you laughed so hard you almost dropped your phone recording him. “ours, actually. half the population, baby.”
“this is inhumane,” he wheezed.
“and yet,” you said, leaning in to kiss his temple, “we still go to work, school, and deal with you while feeling that.”
he slumped back, groaning as you finally turned the machine off. his hair stuck to his forehead, breath uneven.
you handed him water like a merciful goddess. “so… thoughts?”
he looked at you, eyes glassy with disbelief.
“…i’m never arguing with you about cramps again.”
you smiled triumphantly, patting his shoulder. “good boy.”
“don’t— call me—”
but his voice cracked halfway through, and honestly? you couldn’t help but laugh again.
you were bored.
nagi was too chill.
and that’s how you ended up kneeling beside your couch with a period simulator and a grin that could only mean trouble.
he cracked an eye open, half-buried under your blanket.
“what’s that thingy?”
“a simulator,” you said innocently. “it lets you feel what cramps feel like.”
he blinked once. “why would anyone want that?”
“for empathy,” you said.
he groaned. “sounds like effort.”
“it is,” you said cheerfully. “that’s the point.”
you waved the pads at him. “come on. just a few seconds. you’ll understand me better.”
he stared blankly for a moment, then sighed—the sigh of a man who knew resistance took more energy than surrender.
“…fine. but if i die, i’m haunting you.”
you attached the pads to his stomach and held up the remote like a game controller.
he blinked. “oh. buzz.”
click. level three.
“buzzier..”
click. level five.
his face twitched.
“…okay, now it’s not chill”
you tilted your head, all faux sweetness. “oh, but we’re just getting to the good part sei"
he jolted.
his hand flew to his stomach like you’d just shot him.
“WAH?! WHAT IS THIS—WHY IS IT—HUH—”
you burst out laughing as he curled slightly, muttering to himself.
“it feels like my organs are trying to… play twister.”
“yeah,” you said
“this is evil,” he deadpanned, glaring at you through a curtain of white hair. “you live like this?”
“every month.”
he just stared at you, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open, as if you’d just told him the sun was fake.
“STOP—Y/N—STOP, STOP—”
he yelped, one hand clutching your wrist dramatically. “no more empathy! i get it! i get it!”
you turned it off, tears of laughter in your eyes.
he collapsed back onto the couch, legs twitching, expression blank.
“you okay?” you teased.
“no thoughts. only pain,” he whispered.
you giggled, stroking his hair. “you’re so dramatic.”
“no, i’m valid,” he mumbled, pulling your blanket back over his head.
you smirked. “so… still think i’m exaggerating when i say my cramps hurt?”
he groaned from under the blanket. “never again. you’re a soldier. i’m a marshmallow.”
you leaned in close, smiling. “good boy.”
he peeked out with one sleepy eye. “…did i pass the test?”
“barely,” you said.
“cool,” he murmured, already drifting back to sleep. “wake me up when your uterus forgives humanity.”
“you know,” you said, grinning as you held up the tiny controller, “for someone who claims to ‘understand women,’ you’ve never once tried to understand this.”
Reo raised an eyebrow, lounging on your bed like he owned it (which, honestly, he kinda did).
“‘This’ being…?”
you dangled the period pain simulator in front of him like a threat.
his lips curled into a confident little smirk.
“oh, that thing? please. how bad can it be?”
you knew that tone. the “I’ve never suffered a day in my life” tone. perfect.
“alright, big man,” you said, motioning for him to lift his shirt. “let’s see how tough you really are.”
“huh,” he said, brows lifting slightly. “it’s like static.”
click. level three.
“okay, weird tingling. but manageable.”
click. level five.
his posture changed—shoulders tense, breath shallower.
“alright, starting to feel like—uh—deep… lightning?”
you bit your lip to hide your smile. “wanna stop?”
he scoffed. “no way. I’m fine.”
“OH—holy—WHAT IS—”
he doubled over, gripping his stomach like someone had just punched him.
“Y/N—what the hell is this!? this isn’t pain—this is torture!”
you snorted. “welcome to the average day of existence, Reo.”
“how are you still functioning right now?” he hissed, wincing as another wave hit.
“years of experience,” you said, smug.
“this can’t be healthy!” he whined.
“nope! it’s just life, babe.”
“NO, WAIT—STOP—PLEASE—”
he gasped, clutching your arm dramatically. “I’LL BUY YOU ANYTHING. ANYTHING YOU WANT. JUST—TURN IT OFF.”
you laughed so hard you could barely breathe.
“not even money can save you now, Mikage.”
finally, you turned it off. he collapsed backward onto your pillows, arm draped over his eyes like a tragic shakespeare hero.
you poked his cheek. “you alive?”
“barely,” he muttered. “I saw mother nature.. she was mad, mad."
you smiled sweetly. “so… sympathy unlocked?”
he peeked at you with exhausted purple eyes.
“unlocked, maxed out, and I’m making a donation to uterus research tomorrow..”you snorted. “what a gentleman.”
he groaned softly, hand reaching for yours.
“never doubt you again,” he said, squeezing it weakly. “you’re built different, baby..”
“awww,” you teased, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
“next time you get cramps, I’m calling a nationla holiday,” he mumbled.
you sat cross-legged on the couch, holding the tiny silver period simulator remote like it was a controller in Blue Lock.
Isagi eyed it suspiciously, hair slightly messy, still in his training hoodie.
“so… you’re saying this thing makes you feel what cramps feel like?”
“yep.”
“why would anyone invent that?”
you grinned. “so men can stop saying ‘it can’t hurt that bad.’”
he raised his hands defensively. “hey, i’ve never said that.”
“then prove it,” you said, patting the seat beside you.
five minutes later, the pads were stuck to his abs and you were ready.
he tilted his head. “huh. kinda like—uh—when your stomach rumbles?”
click. level three.
“…okay, that’s a bit weird. feels like I ate bad sushi.”
click. level five.
his brows furrowed, muscles tightening. “ah—ow—okay, okay, that’s not—what is—”
you smirked. “still not that bad?”
“no, no, it’s fine, i can handle—”
he snapped forward, gripping his stomach, eyes wide.
“WHAT IS THAT—IT’S LIKE—LIKE SOMETHING’S CLENCHING—”
“uh-huh,” you said sweetly. “try living with that for a week.”
he let out a strained laugh that quickly turned into a whimper.
“nah, you’re kidding. no one can—ow—function like this!”
“we do!” you said, cheerfully evil. “school, work, sports, cooking—everything!”
“Y/N, PLEASE—TIME OUT!”
he flopped sideways, face buried in your lap. “i surrender. i’ll never complain about anything again. ever.”
you tried not to laugh as his voice came out all muffled and dramatic:
“you guys are warriors. superhuman. divine beings.”
you snorted. “bit dramatic, aren’t we?”
he glared up at you, teary-eyed and offended. “this isn’t drama, this is trauma.”
you finally turned it off. he sagged against you, breathing heavy, hair a mess.
“you okay, champ?” you teased, stroking his hair.
“no,” he croaked. “but i’ve seen the truth.”
you raised an eyebrow. “and what’s the truth?”
he sat up slowly, hand over his stomach like a fallen soldier.
“you deserve a break of rest every month.”
you laughed so hard you nearly dropped the controller. “so next time i say i have cramps—?”
he pointed weakly at you. “you go to bed. i do everything. no arguments.”
“aww,” you said, kissing his cheek. “look at you, learning empathy.”
he leaned into your touch with a small groan. “i’m learning pain. empathy came free with the suffering.”
you’re sitting on the bed, holding the lil period simulator remote like a villain w a master plan.
kaiser’s lounged back like he’s in a photoshoot, hair perf as always, smirk set to menace level 100.
“sooo this thing makes me feel ur little monthly cramps?” he says.
you blink. “little?”
he immediately corrects himself. “uh—i mean ur—uh—almighty womanly pain rituals.”
“better,” you said. “now shut up and sit still, blondie.”
he scoffs. “oh. that’s it? baby stuff.”
click. level 3.
“okay that’s—hm. like static. cute.”
click. level 5.
his grin wobbles.
“…wait. okay. it’s like. crampy?”
you smirk. “oh we just gettin started, mein liebchen~”
he jerks.
“WHAT—why does it feel like satan’s grabbin my intestines?!”
you cackle. “welcome to my world, michael.”
“THIS IS ILLEGAL!” he gasps, clutching his abs like he’s about to write a will.
“nah babe, this is called the menstrual cycl.”
“STOP—Y/N—WHY DOES UR BODY DO THIS—TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFFFF—”
he’s legit pleading now, accent breaking mid-scream like a dying pop star.
you finally turn it off, tears in ur eyes from laughing.
kaiser collapses dramatically, one hand on his chest like “tell noa i loved him.”
“u alive?” you ask, still giggling.
“barely,” he pants. “i saw god. she was disappointed.”
“sooo still think i’m being dramatic when i say i have cramps?”
he stares at u w glassy eyes. “no. i think ur a warrior. i think ur built different. i think u deserve 3 national holidays and free chocolate for life.”
“good answer,” you say, patting his chest.
he sighs, still breathless. “if u ever need anything—heating pads, massages, a new planet—i’ll fund it.”
you smirk. “love u when ur suffering.”
“unfair,” he mutters, rolling onto his side. “i was in pain.”
“yeah,” you grin, crawling next to him, “welcome to womanhood, mr. emperor"
p.s: "it can't be THAT bad right?" BUZZZZ EHHHHHH WRONG ANSWERRRRR lmao this was fun :3
