#cfs tag

[sparkles-and-trash]

me: I’m really not doing well today, so I’m going to cancel my plans and stay in and take care of myself

also me: I should use this time to be productive. I should write. I should do that art piece. I should play all the games I haven’t had the time or energy to play lately. I should feel bad when I end up on the couch watching Modern Family for 6 hours in stead. No time to heal. No understanding of having three serious chronic illnesses. Just guilt for being lazy. Stupid girl. Stupid.

[blozzoming]

After 3.5 years of battling disability and working on my mental and physical health, and then months taking on the ableist elitist law faculty, I have finally received a letter of offer to return to law school in February!! I am so so buzzed and excited and apprehensive and ahhh! I'm gonna need a ton of study inspo to get me through this year so drop a comment if you're an active study blog~~

[viitavirginia]

me: why am i so tired and headachey me: has been diagnosed with m.e. for five years me: guess we’ll never know

[sparkles-and-trash]

ngl, I woke up feeling like garbage, physically, but I don’t really have any obligations today, besides normal Zelder-care, and I tried to do stuff that normal works to make me feel better, taking a bath and getting dressed etc, which worked a little, so that’s good!

now I’m just gonna try to listen to my body and take it chill, I’ll watch more mha and maybe write a little today, so like always, my inbox is open, and mha requests are too, so hit me up for a chat or a drabble anytime ~

[sparkles-and-trash]

I’ve been sick all week, like, bedridden lost of the time, inflamation in my whole body, waking up crying, ya know, all that jazz, and on like Monday I put my hair in a high ponytail to keep it out of the way and it’s still up there, and now I’m worried that if ai take it out, all of my hair is just gonna fall off with it lmao

[sparkles-and-trash]

tw: discussion of drugs and pain medication

I finally found a new wêëd guy, and I’m getting stuff today, and I could cr y y’all, cause, like

I have three (3) chronic illnesses, that each attack different parts of my body, and some days the pain and fatigue has me entirely bedridden, while others I have the energy to go for longer walks or do like, one «big» thing (going out of my apartment for other things than walking Zelder around here counts as big) and then I’m stuck on the couch with brainfog the rest of the day

This obviously affects my ability to be creative, both with writing, art and even gaming simple Games and ACNH or Sims, which is a huge grief for me tbh

The only thing doctors can do is give me pain meds, and strong ones. Opiods. I’ll take them when I have to, but side effects usually have me drowsy or sluggish for the day, and I hate that feeling. I’m also terribly afraid of addiction, which is very common with these meds.

Wéėd on the other hand? Works wonders. Stops the pain, but doesn’t render me compleatly useless.

But here medicinal wèëd is pretty much not a thing, so that’s out of the question. Before covid I still had the opportunity to get some now and then, but the last year has been dry as hell.

But I’ve finally found a new legit guy closer to where I live, and I could like, sob about relived I am??

So yeah, tomorrow I’m gonna clean all day, and bake, watch movies, write and chill all night. Finally.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Today has been for exisiting and recovering from last night only and I hate myself for it, but I also understand it was needed and know I can do better tomorrow ~

[sparkles-and-trash]

self reinvetion, new routines, and plans for this blog ~

finally, my little update post!

I understand that not everyone here care about this, and that’s totally okay! I’m mostly sharing this for those who know me on a bit more personal level, and so I can actually keep track of my progress and hold myself to this ~

first of all, blog stuff!

As you might have noticed, I am slowly getting better at keeping things here on a more casual and hobby basis. 

Even tho most of my work is online, not everywhere I exist online has to be about that, and I need to remember that! 

This blog is mine, it’s for me and whoever choose to follow me, and I need to stop obsessing over what I think people want from me, because this is a place for fun and recreation! 

I’m still gonna take requests and stuff, but on a more casual level! 

I’m also trying to be more multi fandom, and not just my hyperfixation, which is going... ok? There is room for improvement, but hey! 

on a more personal note ~

I’m finally taking on some more work again, both with art and writing commissions, which is fun and inspiring, but my ADHD brain needs some organizing, so I started a bujo, but like, a very simple one, likeee this, tomorrow and Wednesdays plans! 

I’m trying to get ready, dressed and put on makeup every day my body allows me to, make myself three meals a day, take care of my body, like, take baths and do skin care and go for several walks a day, no matter the weather, just, stuff like that! 

I’m also getting back into resin work, and start my project with watercolor work of the inspirobot quotes, which I plan on doing Tuesdays and Thursdays, while I work on commissions the others!

I feel pretty good about it, and I’ll keep my Saturdays and Sundays open, and be open to change if I need to, like, see my friends and family etc! 

I’m also trying to be more active on instagram, and hopefully maybe have time to start streaming on Twitch, but that’s gonna have to wait until after the biggest commission rush!