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Shirley do I have to come find you too?
Namaste, macaronilovingracoon. I heard about your interaction with Sonic and Shadow. Please be aware that I don't have any Chaos Emeralds with me, so it would be pointless. Also, apparently you turned into a human, which I think is a shame because as a rabiosexual, I think raccoons are really cool.
Shirley
EMERGENCY REQUEST
Two of our well respected out-patients are missing, and may have been harmed during an attack on Chakraura Alternative Hospital.
If you see either of these men, please contact the authorities, so they can be rescued safely.
Thank you, and namaste.
An Update from Chakraura Alternative Hospital
Hello everyone. This is Shirley Smith, receptionist and acting manager at what is left of Chakraura Alternative Hospital.
Today has been incredibly tough for all of us, and we have lost staff and patients alike due to terrorist attacks from followers of someone called 'The Croaker.' Our hospital lies in ruins, with the insurance claim pending. Due to certain managerial decisions during the catastrophe, it is uncertain whether or not the claim will go through.
After the destruction of the hospital, many of you may have noticed strange behaviour from our former manager and head doctor, Dr Gwenhwyfar Pendragon Altrough altMD. She spent her life building up this facility, and seeing it destroyed in a single afternoon appears to have broken her. She attempted to rebrand our organisation for evil instead of positivity, which is something none of us were able to support. As such we have removed her from her role, and have committed her as a patient in the alternative triage tent we have set up to care for the wounded and remaining patients. Hopefully in time, her chakras will realign.
Going forward, there are going to be several changes at Chakraura Alternative Hospital to avoid similar tragedies happening again.
We will no longer be keeping patients against their will, except in extreme circumstances. Starting immediately, we will be releasing our in-patients and returning them home to their loved ones.
The orderlies will no longer be required to have a vegan diet, unless they wish to. There is no inherent health benefit to veganism that makes vegans fitter and stronger than other people. Orderlies that wish to may of course continue their veganism.
Trans patients will be given access to modern medicine for trans-related healthcare purposes. I believe this is self-explanatory.
More changes are likely to come with time, and we hope to keep you updated. Thank you again for your continued support during this trying time, and namaste.
have you removed the goo?
Hello Anonymous, I am happy to report that our orderlies have not noticed any additional slime in or around our subterranean sound bath studio. I believe that the threat of goo was merely a prank call.
Regardless, I have instructed the orderlies to scrub the area anyway. Regular cleaning is important to prevent build-up of things like black mold, especially in a below-ground facility with several large baths filled with water, which are frequently used.
Thank you for your question, and namaste 🙏️
What did you do with the Croaker binding curse?
What is a croaker? Is it some type of frog spirit?
If you mean the washcloth, we have untied it and placed it in the laundry, ready for the patient to use again after her sound-bath. We have disposed of the ribbon.
Thank you for your question, and namaste.
Hey, Shirley! I’ve heard some concerning rumors about you recently, and I’m sure they’re not true, but I’d like to hear firsthand, if that’s alright! Did you…rob graves, eat corpses, and try to kill a legal professional? Please do respond as soon as you can, to lay these nasty, horrible rumors to rest!
Yours truly,
Charlie Quinn H.
Namaste, Charlie. Thank you for not believing these rumors at face-value. Two of them are simply not true, and the other is taken out of context.
Firstly, yes I did technically organise and unofficial exhumation of a corpse. The purpose of this was to defuse a situation where one of my new friends was insisting there was no body, so I showed it to him to calm him down and stop an online flame war that was causing a lot of negativity. I'm sure you can appreciate my motives, as a non-conventional therapist. This friend then took a phone from the grave, however this was not my intention for exhuming the grave.
Secondly, no, I did not try to eat the corpse. I said the corpse looked tasty, but I didn't even touch it. This rumor has been spread by homophobes who are offended that I recently came out as rabiosexual, and now use rot/rotself pronouns.
Thirdly, I did not try to kill a legal professional. A few days ago I was invited to stand in as a judge when the former judge would be unavailable. As soon as I got to the courtroom, a known terrorist tried to kidnap me. I escaped, and they tried to kidnap me again. I then shot them in self-defense. I had no idea at the time they were a legal professional, and to be honest I don't think it's relevant whether or not someone is a lawyer when they drop a Loony Tunes style cage over you and start dragging you away.
Thank you again for letting me address these vile stories myself!
Shirley Smith, communications mamanger for @sonic-for-divine-justice and manager at Chakraura Alternative Tent née Hospital
Great news!
We appealed the decision to the insurance company, and against all odds they have revised their decision! They have judged that we aren't eligible for the full amount, but their legal team decided that a large portion of the damage was indisputably unavoidable for us. As such they are agreeing to a partial payment, in exchange for an agreement that we do not pursue legal action in the future!
The dream is alive! We won't be able to fully rebuild, but at least now we can construct small dormitories for patients and orderlies instead of relying on tents!
POSITIVITY WIN!
Shirley Smith (rot/rotself, rabiosexual), Manager at Chakraura Alternative Hospital
[𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝚃𝚈 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚂𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚑...]
[𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚍𝚜. 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝.]
[𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕.]
Namaste! I don't want to concern the gods! I just want to live my life without someone trying to vaccinate my identity away, and keep the hospital going!
RABIES PRIDE
