#changing habits

[shiningmystic]

“Change is a direction, not a destination.”

[hiperfixationqueen]

Tumblr is now officially my only social media and I feel confident in my decision of deleting everything else, here it feels like home, there it felt like the loud obnoxious club you end up on a Friday night because you can't say no to your friends

[snarky-synesthete]

Hi, I read in one of your posts that you "almost have a masters degree in motivating the unwilling" and I just wanna say please. Halp. I'm ruining my life by being the way I am and I can't stop. Everybody talks about my "immense potential" and how it's "such a waste of intelligence" for me to be the way that I am. I'm honestly drowning.

Oh wow. If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me that, I'd be able to afford a life coach for my ownself, lol. I have a pretty significant little alphabet soup of disorders to my name, but I didn't get diagnosed with any of them until my early 30s. What that means is that I had to find ways to compensate for my shitshow of a brain, so I have a lot of tips and tricks. I'm currently working on my doctorate as well, so I'm doing lots of research around mental heath, focusing on teen mental health since I work with teens every day.

First off, you're not ruining your life. You're just living it. Your life isn't something that needs to be put through the wash and purified. It is what it is, and you are who you are. The fact that you're here and breathing and *wanting* to improve are already wonderful things. You're doing okay. ^_^

Next, think about what you want your life to look like. This is a good journalling prompt. There's no wrong way to do this. You can get really specific, right down to the new furniture you'd like to fill your space with; you can have just big picture stuff: "I want to survive high school" or "I want to wake up looking forward to the day." Try to think in positive terms rather than negative. I don't mean "I want to feel happy!" necessarily: but think of things with positive *action*: instead of "I don't want to feel miserable," which is a negative, something you want to subtract from your life, think of a positive: "I want to feel better," "I want to re-connect with an old hobby," "I want to start a diary," things like that. It's easier, sometimes, for our weird monkey brains, if we start off *adding* something new instead of *stopping* something old...even if the "something old" is part of what makes us miserable.

For example, a lot of people want to stop smoking. Quitting cold-turkey is possible, sure, but it's a god-awful experience. Instead of thinking of it as "subtracting" smoking, a better approach would be to ADD something new that can slowly start taking its place. An example in this scenario would be to add in another oral treat you enjoy (I see your mind in the gutter, hello, nice place!) that can take the place of just one smoke a day. A really nice chocolate truffle, or some spicy crunchy chips, or a fancy lollipop. That way, your brain isn't necessarily feeling a *deprivation* or the lack of something it has come to expect, but you're still lowering your daily nicotine consumption.

So that might be the easiest way to start. Look at any habits you might have that don't make you feel good, or that you don't want to carry with you into your future. I don't want to call them "bad habits" because that implies a judgment call, which I am NOT qualified to make about your lived experiences. Obviously, that habit served its purpose for you at some point! But if it's no longer serving you, try to slowly replace it with something that does. Think of it as a shift rather than a removal, and your brain will tolerate the change more easily.

If you wanna get more specific, feel free to DM me, @justanexistentialcrisisnbd ^_^

[not-mary-sue]

No, you don't understand, I don't care if the trousers are "basically the same". If they're not the same as my favourite pair, I'm not buying them!

[infjdoodles]

[woowoolab]

energy work on bad habits

Do you have anything in your life you sometimes struggle with, judge, or feel like it’s a bad habit? Here’s a little energy work you can try with me. Imagine an energy bubble holding the habit. Let it be how it is and just see it, look at it, notice it. Let yourself be aware of that energy, that vibration, and maybe there are many vibrations happening in there. Just watch. Notice any reactions that come up to fix it, change it, resist it, and let those energies join in as part of the bubble you are looking at and being aware of. It’s amazing how much energy can swirl around and be connected to one little bad habit. Now notice your own inner light, your true self, that awareness that is aware of the bubble.  There are several fun options now for this energy work.

1. You can allow this energy to be, and know and trust that as you bring more of your natural loving awareness to it, it will naturally release and ease away. This process can be repeated as necessary, as the issue may arise again in a different situation of intensity.

2. You can offer up this bubble to some higher force, God, the Supreme Being, the Holy Spirit, your Higher Self, the great Central Sun, Eternal love and Light, Divine Consciousness..... and watch the bubble be taken gently by that light. 

3. You can do more intentional energy setting within this bubble. You can imagine the bubble growing energetic roots, grounding into the earth, and also connecting upwards an energetic cord to divine love. You can watch this bubble receive a cleansing, healing, energetic makeover. And when you are done with that, release it with gratitude. 

Whatever you decide to do, I encourage playing with it and having fun. If you have any other ideas for playing with energy, I’d love to hear them. 

[iwantedtolivethefantasy]

Wow, thoughts

I don’t really know if this title is still relevant, since it’s more an update on how changing my habits is going, but it’s nice and catchy, so I will keep using it. 

I just did some 8 min strechting, and honestly, it feels so good. I had a bit of neck pain, and that’s why I decided to stretch, and it’s all gone know. 

I don’t know if I wrote about this before, but I wanted to stretch or workout in the morning, but breaks from online school will work too, so that’s what I’m going to try for the next few days. 

Journaling is going well too, missed just one day, but I might write a little more today instead. 

This week there is no hockey training because of the snow, so I’ve got time to do a full Pamela Reif workout program, so that is what I’m going to try (I did another one a few weeks ago, but because of hockey I did it without rest days and that is just too hard)

The snow is so beautiful ahahahah, I love it! I did some snowballfighting with my siblings and it’s so much fun. I hope we can ice skate (is that the right word tho?) this week, cause that is so much fun.

About all my habits; I’m still very much in the beginning, but a better mindset and not trying everything at once really helped, even tho I still have more screen time than I’d like, but it’s a process and I’m working on it. 

This might be one of my longest blogs yet, and it’s still not very long ahahahha.

That was it for today, see you soon (that is to all my non-existent followers)

[moseetubtim]

I'm Breaking Up With You

{ Warning: This post might be triggering }

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship with something that isn’t good for you? But somehow you stick with it and keep going back to it because it’s the only thing you know to have been able to help you feel better when you were at a low point in your life; when you were depressed; when you were sad; when you were unhappy.

Somehow this thing you started becoming acquainted with became your best friend over the years. It’s your muse, your escape, your cave, and your sanctuary. It makes you feel safe and comforted. Yet, at the same time, you know that it’s not good for your health. You’re wasting your health away. You’re wasting money. You’re wasting time and energy. You’re sabotaging not just yourself but also relationships in your life because of your emotional attachment to your bad habit. But because you’ve been reliant on it for so long to help you feel better throughout the ups and downs of life, you don’t know how to cut ties. You don’t know how to break up with it. You don’t know how to say goodbye.

Goodbye is hard especially a forever goodbye with something you’ve been emotionally attached to for so many years. And whatever it is that you resort to to feel better, maybe this past year has been a wake-up call for you to take a look at your life and how you choose to manage your emotions. And maybe, just like me and many other people out there, you realize that you will be complete if you can just permanently cut your bad habit out of your life; if you can permanently change this bad habit; if you can permanently remove your cravings and yearnings for the comfort from what is not good for you.

Here’s the thing - when you realize that you are now an adult and you can be a happier person by eliminating what used to help you feel happier, you’re about to have a breakthrough. When your willpower and determination to change are stronger than your desire to keep relying on something that’s not good for you; when you have done the inner work to heal from past wounds and realize that this is the only thing left that is still holding you back from reaching your full potential, you are ready to successfully transition into the new you. You are ready to find your new source of happiness. And you know that true happiness will arrive when you take back control of your life.

Are you ready to break up with your bad habit? If you are, follow along...

1. Write a breakup letter

Imagine that this bad habit that you’ve been relying on for so many years is a long-term partner or best friend that you need to let go of. Literally, the emotional pain will be similar.

Example,

“Dear _______________

I think it’s time we break up. Thank you so much for helping me through the years and being by my side. Our relationship and codependency have become toxic. I think it’s best we stop being each other’s emotional comfort. My life will be better off without you. I will be healthier. I will save my money and my time. I realized that you have been blocking me from reaching my full potential. I used to always resort to you whenever I feel down. But you’re not healthy for me. This needs to change. And I am so ready for this change. I am going to let you go, for good. I’m sorry to say goodbye. Please take care of yourself.” 

2. Find new activities to fill the time with

Those hours that you used to spend on your bad habit, you now have to spend it elsewhere. The first struggle will be how to change your thought patterns from thinking about your bad habit to not thinking about it. How can you spend the hours you used to spend on your bad habit on something else? Something that is healthier and better for you - the ‘you' that you’ve dreamed of becoming or being. And now you’re on track to become that person for real - it’s no longer a fantasy or a wish.

What you replace the hours with needs to be engaging. It has to be something that can get you into the flow state that you forget about your bad habit. It has to be something that you truly enjoy, can focus on, and get lost in. It has to be something that gives you inner peace, contentment, and joy. Because if not, you will keep missing your bad habit. You will keep yearning for its comfort it used to give you even though you know it’s bad for you.

Now write a list of things you can fill up your time, thoughts, and energy with.

a. ____________

b. ____________

c. ____________

 These will go into your daily schedule & to-dos.

3. Start doing these things regular that they become a habit

Initially, there will be times that you still keep thinking about your bad habit. So you have to force yourself to spend time with your new activities until you stop missing your bad habit - until you successfully rewire your thought patterns and stop having cravings.

Putting in the time and creating schedules for your new habits. Block out your free time where you used to spend on your bad habit with your new habits.

4. Create an environment where you won’t be reminded of your bad habit

Sometimes being in the same old environment, we can get easily triggered. We just fall into the traps of engaging in our old habits - subconsciously. Because, hey, we are creatures of comfort, and old habits provide us comfort, no matter how bad they may be. Changing our environment and our surroundings can help us break free.

So how can you be in a new environment where you can form new habits that help your brains recognize and start memorizing that you create new routines, thought, emotional, and behavioral patterns?

5. Remind yourself of your goals - the why - the reasons you want to be the new you

The only reason and the only thing that can really drive this change is you and your desire to change. No matter how much someone tells you your bad habit is toxic and unhealthy for you, if you don’t have the desire to change yet, you won’t ever succeed in letting go of it. But here you are, ready to make that change and cut off cold turkey whatever has been holding you back for so many years.

Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and visualize the new life:

What would your life be like without this bad habit?

What would you be able to do and achieve without this bad habit?

How much more time would you have to spend on other things without this bad habit?

How much money would you have left without this bad habit?

How much healthier you’d be without this bad habit?

And how would the factors listed above enable you to create and live the life you’ve been dreaming of living?

Every day, for a few minutes, before you start your day, I want you to set your intention right. Start with the mindset that you’re going to do this; you’re going to achieve this; you’re on the path to becoming the new you.

[ Click on the images to download ]

Use these printables to help you create your new life. Stick to this for at least 30 days before you give up. If you miss one day, don’t be discouraged. Just keep on trying.

At the end of the day, it’s all about changing your thought patterns which will then change your emotional and behavioral patterns. If you can shift your thoughts and focus, then you can slowly cut the emotional ties to the old habit. Practice shifting your thoughts and focus until you forget the old habit and start forming emotional attachments to your new habits.

You can do this! 🙂