Summer continued. Life went on. Firestar slept every day, largely without nightmares. He couldn’t ask for much more than that.
The raids and attacks stopped completely; the only visitor to the border was Brick, dropping by whenever he needed advice. He continued with his updates, and even through the struggles, there was always some glimmer of hope, and, eventually, faith in his colony’s success.
Not all news was good, though.
“She’s gone,” Brick said quietly on his next visit. “We can’t find her anywhere.”
Firestar sighed and hung his head. “I’ll break it to Squirrel. Thank you for searching.”
He returned to camp with his tail almost dragging on the ground, dreading the conversation. Goldenflower was with Squirrel, who had rapidly grown kitten-plump in her time with them, eating all the food she could ever ask for. Even her tail-fur seemed thicker and longer as her health improved.
Firestar braced himself before approaching and saying gently, “Squirrel, I have some very sad news. Can we talk?”
The dark ginger head lifted from her crouching position where she was batting Goldenflower’s tail. She didn’t appear to notice the matriarch tensing up as she said, “Okay!”
Firestar sat down across from Goldenflower, and Squirrel plopped onto her haunches in the middle, looking up at the leader with big, curious eyes.
Taking a breath, Firestar kept his voice low and kind. “Your mother isn’t coming to live with us. She won’t be taking you away, either.”
Squirrel frowned. “Why not?”
“Because she’s gone,” Firestar explained, carefully translating things in his head. “Brick has been looking for her all this time, but he’s never seen her again. We think she was taken away by the humans.”
Goldenflower immediately scooted forward to sit directly behind Squirrel and wrap a huge paw around her body, as if readying her to grieve.
But Squirrel just tilted her head. “You mean she’s dead?”
“That’s the most likely explanation, yes,” Firestar said unhappily. “You’re going to live with us for good, and we’ll take care of you forever. But I wanted to tell you that you don’t need to wait for your mi anymore. This is your home now.”
Squirrel’s eyes went down to the ground, her ears swiveling back and forth like she was thinking hard. Goldenflower hovered anxiously, glancing between her and Firestar, almost waiting for a cue.
“What are you thinking?” Firestar asked Squirrel after a few moments. “Do you feel sad?”
Another beat, and then Squirrel looked up at him. Her eyes were dim and her face unusually solemn.
“Yeah,” she said, “I think so. I wish she could’ve come here with me. Then she would be alive.” Goldenflower opened her mouth, but Squirrel continued. “But I like it here. And I really like Goldenflower, and you, and Bramblepaw, and Rainkit and Sootkit. So I think it’s okay.”
Goldenflower gave her a lick between the ears. “I’m sorry, love.”
“S’alright.” Squirrel tilted her head up and up and up until she was looking at the matriarch almost upside down. “I mean, I only want Mi here, and then it’d be perfect. So that’s good, I think.”
Something in Firestar’s core settled as Squirrel’s head bounced back forward. He said, “I’m very glad you like living here. And since you do, do you think you’re ready to become Squirrelkit?”
The little ball of energy nodded eagerly. “So I’m a Clan cat now, right? For real? Forever?”
“For real, forever.” Firestar felt his eyes crinkle. “We can do your ceremony whenever you’re ready. You can take time to—”
“Now!” Squirrel jumped to her feet. “I wanna be a Clan cat now!”
Despite his grief for Oracle, Firestar couldn’t help a chuff.
No one was quite prepared for the ceremony. The news wasn’t given until Firestar jumped on the meeting stump, just as dinner was starting, leaving many cats rushing to the meeting with a mouthful of half-chewed prey. Squirrel had to be hurriedly given her line by Goldenflower, and Firestar himself didn’t really know what to say during this particular name-giving. He chose to improvise.
“We’ve received news that Squirrel’s mother is gone,” he started, letting cats murmur condolences to Squirrel, “which means that she’ll stay with us from now on. Which also means that the time has come for her to receive her first Clan name.” He looked down at Squirrel, sitting below him with a dancing tail. “Squirrel, are you ready?”
“YEP!” Squirrel shouted, earning some titters. “I mean, I am! I do!”
Firestar twitched his whiskers. “Then until you become an apprentice, you will be known as Squirrelkit. You are now a full member of ThunderClan, and we can’t wait to teach you everything you need to know to survive out here. We will protect you and guide you for the rest of your life, and that is a promise from all of us. Welcome, Squirrelkit!”
He leaped down amongst the cheers of, “Squirrelkit! Squirrelkit!”, which the new kit jumped in surprise at, and touched his nose to her forehead. She responded by bumping his nose back, half-rubbing on his muzzle before looking back up at him with glee.
The first thing she asked was, “So I get to go to StarClan when I die! Right?”
Firestar beamed at her. “Right.”
Squirrelkit bounced on her toes. “And I’ll be a warrior, and I’ll hunt for my own food, and– and—!” She turned her head just as Rainkit and Sootkit emerged from the crowd and approached. “Hey! Hey, guys! I’m Squirrelkit now! Isn’t that cool?”
“Yeah! Cool!” Rainkit raised a paw like he was going to jokingly bop her. “And you’re really going to stay!”
Sootkit nodded. “We’ll be apprentices together, too.”
“I’ll be a better apprentice, though,” Rainkit said proudly. “Just you watch.”
“Yeah, right.” Squirrelkit scoffed. “I’m gonna chomp your butt at everything.”
Rainkit wriggled his hind end. “Chomp my butt at this!”
He tackled Squirrelkit and the two went rolling, bumping into an exasperated Willowpelt, Sootkit following along with interest. Firestar watched them go, unaware that he was being approached.
“It’s a shame Oracle’s gone,” Cinderpelt said, making him turn his head. “I was hoping I’d get to meet her. She could’ve done great here.”
Firestar sighed and nodded. “All we can do to honor her is help her daughter grow into the best cat she can be.”
Cinderpelt’s deep green eyes glittered. “She’s going to be a riot, I promise you that.”
---
It was amazing how quickly time passed when one wasn’t stuck in their own head.
The waking night was upon ThunderClan seemingly in a blink. Firestar made a point to invite Greystripe, taking Ravenwing and others with them. Greystripe agreed immediately. Everyone else wisely chose to stay silent, even with the looks of uncertainty they gave each other.
ThunderClan was the last to arrive this time, and they were greeted warmly by RiverClan especially. Firestar wove through the crowd until he caught sight of Wrenwhisker and Rainpath, then trotted up to them, flanked by Ravenwing and Greystripe.
“Ah!” Rainpath perked up when his large eyes found the trio. “Blessings, Greystripe. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”
“Yeah, things happened.” Greystripe rolled a shoulder. “I’m just happy to be back. What good gossip did I miss out on?”
“Just a moment.” Firestar stepped up to Rainpath’s side, wincing at the small tom’s flinch, and murmured, “I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting. I’m fine now, there was just… a lot, in my head. I shouldn’t have been so curt with you and Wrenwhisker.”
Rainpath blinked in surprise, and then again in friendliness. “You needn’t worry, Firestar. Wrenwhisker just told me you were well again.
Firestar looked over at Wrenwhisker, who lolled his head to the side in acknowledgement.
“As long as you do not suffer, I’m content,” Rainpath continued when Firestar looked back at him. “Consider it like nothing happened.”
Firestar blinked in friendship back and continued through the crowd until he was at the leaders’ boulder. He jumped up, last in line beside Leopardstar, and sat down.
“You’re late,” Leopardstar said, but her voice had no bite to it. She just squinted in dry amusement at Firestar. “I should’ve guessed you’d bring your friends.”
Firestar’s eyes flicked down to Greystripe. Several body-lengths away, Mintpaw and Stormpaw were pushing through the crowd to get to him, their fluffy tails wagging excitedly.
“We all have cats to see,” he said to Leopardstar. “How’s your territory doing?”
The calico raised her head proudly. “Couldn’t be better. Those rogues haven’t been seen since we returned.”
“Horoa shines on you,” Blackstar said. He looked at Firestar. “And you seem to be well. This, too, is a gift.”
Firestar purred. “I’ve had time to recover, and take steps to fix things. So thank you.”
“You have much to tell us, I’m sure, then.”
“A bit, here and there.” Firestar curled his tail. “I don’t know if anyone will care, but…”
“They’ll be happy for you,” Rookstar said flatly. “You want to start?”
A bit surprised, Firestar nodded. “I can do that, when we’re ready.”
The leaders waited a small while, letting everyone catch up and gab. Eventually, Rookstar flicked his tail at Firestar, who stood up, raised his voice, and let out a wordless call to silence the crowd. It tickled him a little that even yelling, he seemed to speak too softly.
“Good evening, everyone!” he said brightly when all eyes were on him. “Sorry to interrupt your conversations. We’ll update you quickly, and then you can talk again.” At a checking glance to Rookstar, who nodded, he continued. “ThunderClan has… a bit to report.”
Heads tilted, with the ThunderClan cats keeping their mouths shut.
“We’ve had regular updates on the loners in the Aulmir,” Firestar said. “Brick, the one that was staying with us, chose to return home and set up a colony system for the strays there. I’ve been talking with him to make sure all is going smoothly, and, well, it is! So far they’ve got a group about Clan-sized, and they’re discussing rules to set in place to prevent any unnecessary bloodshed.”
Voices, much louder than the usual murmurs, popped up. Cats looked at each other with great surprise and remarked on this indistinctly.
“Are we sure they won’t try another Blood?” Leopardstar asked warily.
Firestar nodded. “There aren’t as many loners left, so food is more plentiful and territory broader. They’ve had to deal with some cantankerous rogues here and there, but not many.” A purr rippled through his words. “And with enough cats desperate for a better life, they’re more inclined to behave so they don’t get kicked out of a good system.”
Rookstar twitched his whiskers. “Took inspiration from us, I’m sure.”
“And you’re correct,” Firestar replied. “I have faith that they’ll be truly happy for a long time.”
The rest of his news—the joining of Squirrelkit, the pacifying of Fury, and, of course, how prey and Clan alike were doing well—passed by a little slower than he would have liked. At the very least, the cats below looked greatly intrigued by his stories. He was grateful to finally say, “That’s all from us,” and sit back down, regardless.
Blackstar was next, standing and stepping forward. “We thank ThunderClan for calming the rogues and directing their futures to somewhere brighter. For us, our hunting grounds have expanded greatly without a fight. We have gone further into the Aulmir for food than we ever have before. And the few cats that see us do naught more than nod politely and move on.” The sour-faced tom glanced at Firestar. “We look forward to seeing the results of their new kemera.”
Relief and pride hit Firestar at once, hard enough that he almost jolted at the acknowledgement. Blackstar mentioned something else about new kits or graduated apprentices, but Firestar’s eyes roamed over the gathered warriors and apprentices. He briefly imagined Brick sitting beside him, delivering news with his collection of cats merged with the rest of the Clans, their bodies now only slim from exercise, their coats clean and evenly growing.
There is no way on the Mother’s body that’ll happen, a snarky little voice said in his mind muttered. These guys will never accept one more Clan.
But Firestar’s own thoughts came smooth and swift. Who says they need to be a Clan at all? They have potential to be anything they want. Stars know they could have more sensible rules.
Rookstar was speaking now, and Firestar faintly caught his own name. But his mind was floating away with scenarios and questions about Brick’s colony. Would more colonies develop in the Aulmir? Would there be wars over territory? Could he help Brick with that? A lot of the cats there were still cut; how many generations would succeed their forefathers? Brick had sounded much more confident about finding intact members the last time they spoke, but…
It wasn’t until Leopardstar said, “And that’s all from us,” that Firestar realized he’d passed by the entire news-sharing in his own head. He blinked back to reality, conversation rising again as warriors asked ThunderClan for more about the Aulmir colony.
The other leaders, if they had noticed, were nice enough to not say anything about him drifting off. He just sat and observed the chatter with them.
These cats have no idea what a blessing it is to be among the crowd and talking with strangers, he thought.
But, for once, the usual stab of loneliness didn’t appear. Something in himself was content, deeply so. He could watch them all gossip as much as they wanted to, and, at least for right now, he would be fine with his place outside of the conversation.
His eyes slid over to the other leaders. Rookstar and Blackstar gazed at the crowd stoically, and Leopardstar seemed to be in her own head too.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” he said to her.
She blinked and looked at him.
“All of this,” he elaborated, sweeping slowly with his tail. “The peace, the friendships. Prey waiting for us all at home. Comfortable nests and dens. It’s just nice.”
Leopardstar gave him a scrutinizing look, just for a moment, before relaxing and nodded as her head turned to their followers.
“It is,” she said. “I couldn’t ask for anything else.”
Firestar beamed, his tail curling and uncurling.
Above them, stars smiled, and the moon shone silver on the earth.
What if she doesn't remember the radio at all because she asked who's Lando. If she remembered wouldn't she have asked why is max calling you Lando? Or is your real name Liam?
i didnt want it to feel too cliche if she had an instant flashback to that moment, hence the scene has her believing him at first (with lingering suspicion, of course), only for her to later remember the scene with the radio after she looks him up. i wanted it to be so that she doesn’t remember instantly because even in her wildest dreams, she couldn’t conceive the idea that Liam, her best friend, can be anything other than the man she’s come to know and love.
"WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BY THY NAME, THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN, FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER, AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION, BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL... OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEA-" The ginger's fervent prayer was abruptly cut short by a savage blow to his face, silencing his pleas with a splatter of blood and teeth. Despite the raven's desperate attempts to stifle him, the man's voice had persisted, his words mingling with the metallic tang of blood in the air. Each syllable was a defiance against the looming darkness, a final act of defiance against the brutality closing in around them. And as consciousness slipped away, his prayer echoed faintly, a haunting refrain amidst the chaos and carnage.
Concealed amidst the lifeless bodies of fallen soldiers, Bucky stifled his breath as the carriage jolted to a halt. Time blurred in the darkness; he couldn't discern how long he'd been trapped in this grim refuge. The girl's enigmatic parting words echoed in his mind, a whispered command shrouded in mystery. "Stay hidden..." She had murmured a solemn promise. "No matter what happens, don't run. Trust me, I'll locate you." With each passing moment, uncertainty coiled tighter around his heart. The weight of her pledge hung heavy in the frigid air, a beacon of hope amidst the encroaching shadows. And as the world outside teetered on the edge of oblivion, he clung to her vow like a lifeline, wishing for salvation in the depths of despair.
Upon closer inspection of the corpses, the Germans abandoned the idea of using the carriage to get to a decent cemetery, opting instead to carry their shovels to a corner where they would buried their deceased adversaries. Understanding the urgency of his situation, Bucky realized he couldn't rely on y/n's volatile covenant any longer. With time running out and no guarantee of her arrival, he seized the fleeting moment before him and made his move, knowing this was his only chance for survival. Summoning the last reserves of strength within his battered frame, Bucky threw himself off the cart, landing heavily on the unyielding ground.
Despite the pain coursing through him, he rose to his feet, determination burning bright in his icy blue eyes. y/n, who had been following them all along figured that this would be the perfect opportunity to take down the Krauts, now that they were deep enough for no one to hear their cries of held, and break his friend out. However, before she could enact her plan, she witnessed the man's decisive action. Darting away in a direction that lead directly to the next town, which was even more ruthless than Rüsselsheim. Aware that calling out would attract unwanted attention, y/n knew she had to intercept him before it was too late.
With silent determination, she swiftly closed the distance between them, her steps purposeful as she closed in on her fleeing friend. Regardless of her fitness, y/n's energy reserves were depleted after more than 24 hours without food or drink. Each step felt like a heavy burden, her breathing labored as she pushed herself to catch up to the raven. Straining to make her voice heard, y/n groaned, asking Bucky to wait as she drew nearer. However, her weakened state reduced her voice to barely a whisper, rendering her unrecognizable to the man. Fearing the presence of an unknown pursuer, he quickened his pace, adamant to outdistance any potential threat.
Summoning the last of her strength, y/n closed the distance between them and unleashed a frustrated cry, her shout piercing the air as she finally caught up to her friend. "Egan, you little bitch- I asked you to STOP!" And in a bold move, she abandoned stealth and lunged at him, tackling him to the ground in a cynical bid to cease his flight. "FUCK-" Echoed their curses as they tumbled over the edge of a steep incline, their bodies careening downwards until they collided with a sturdy tree, their momentum abruptly stopped. The impact ceded them unconscious, bodies sprawled amidst the tangled underbrush, nursing possibly broken ribs along with their bruised pride.
***
As hours slipped by, the two figures remained motionless, nestled together on the unforgiving ground, their limbs entwined in a semblance of a wholesome cuddle that belied the perilous reality surrounding them. Irrespective of the chill of the enemy's soil seeping into their bones, they clung to each other in a desperate embrace, their silent solidarity a beacon of defiance. They had both awoken, but couldn't get themselves to move. Their bodies weakened by hunger and exhaustion, the duo lay still, their reserves depleted, unaware that their moment of respite could be their last.
In a cruel twist of fate, their laxity had drawn unwanted attention, and within moments, two armed officers loomed over them, their guns trained unwaveringly at their heads. "Get up." One of the officer barked in a heavy accent, jolting the man conscious with a rough kick "Schnappt euch das mädchen, und los geht's!" (Grab the girl and let's go!) The same man instructed his companion. Feeling a sturdy pair of arms around her waist, the girl was lifted off the ground as though she weighed absolutely nothing at all. Usually she liked the feeling, but this time... this time she knew that she was defeated.
With a feeble groan of protest, she struggled to resist, but her strength failed her, and before she knew it, the two of them were roughly shoved into a waiting car, the destination unknown, shrouded in anxiety. "This is all your fault." y/n whisper-yelled at the raven, her voice trembling with exhaustion and frustration. Bucky, bloodied and weary, nestled his head on her shoulder in silent acknowledgment as she gazed out the window, struggling to keep her heavy eyelids from closing. "Thank you for never... giving up on me, Duck." He rasped, each word a struggle against his weary lungs. "You know I'll always be there for you." She sighed, running her fingers through his hair comfortingly.
"For Buck." He murmured, his voice a faint echo in the shadowed car, a testament to their unbreakable bond as he slipped into slumber, cradled by her steadfast presence. "For Buck..."
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Tag List: @deathwho @beebeechaos @sc4rl3tteb1tch @abysscorpus @darkwindysoul
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
She cradles Julia Janet Elizabeth in her arms. She makes funny faces as she adjusts to being out of her mam. Brian ‘s wife was safely delivered just an hour ago. Elizabeth now sleeps, her husband by her side.
“My darling, you are so loved, you know that? By your mam and daddy, myself and your papa, your uncle, aunt, and cousins, and your Godfather, Murtagh.”
Murtagh was everyone’s Godfather. When the priest arrives from Charleston, he will have quite the job with the christening. Fergus and his bride have four with one on the way and now sweet Julia.
She looks like Brian, and therefore like Jamie. Her mam has black hair and she wondered if the child would as well. Jamie’s genes are strong and Julia is fated to be a ginger.
“It isn’t to bad, sweet lamb. All the tenants will know at a glance, who you belong to.”
Fraser’s Ridge is a thriving community. They have a school, a blacksmith, a Kirk, and a pub.
“All the necessities,” as Jamie puts it. Now it has Brian and Elizabeth ‘s daughter.
She smiles recalling her son’s reaction. “I fear I will break her.” He said at first being handed her.
“You won’t .” His mama assured him.
She will recall the look on his face always. The awe and wonder as he cradles his daughter. Fergus has the same look at holding Germain, then Joanie, Felecia, and John- Henri.
“Your uncle needs more to do,” she tells her latest grandchild, “Every time he looks towards your Auntie Marsali, she gets pregnant.”
The baby yawns. Her granny laughs.
Olivia, at least, was yet to be married. Not that there weren’t lads seeking the privilege. As yet, none had passed Jamie’s standards. At sixteen, it is only a matter of time.
“Your Auntie Olivia is going to adore you. She loves babies.”
Olivia spends a lot of time at Fergus and Marsali ‘s helping with the babies.
“Good training for her.” Brian said. He knows all his sister wants to be is a wife and mam. She lost interest in the healing arts when she discovered lads. Thankfully, there is a young lady, Sara, that Claire is training.
“For when I can’t do it anymore.”
“Och Sassanach, you are turning pleasantly grey. You are just coming into your power.”
She laughs at recalling. “Your papa still remains in awe of me.”
“And always will.” He enters and kneels down beside his wife and granddaughter, “oh she is a true beauty.”
She transfers the baby to him. “She looks like Brian as a newborn.”
He grins. “Welcome to Fraser’s Ridge, sweet lass.”
One of the best things about college is that your first two years are basically a repeat of high school just amplified. General education courses are like a threat, holding your hand over the fire to see if you really did everything you said you did for the last four years. But at least I get to read Shakespeare again. Sometimes waking up in my dorm room feels akin to being shipwrecked on a foreign shore. For the first few minutes, I’m disorientated without Paul’s warm body wrapped around mine and the soft smell of the sea absent from the overwhelming must of this old building. But being on a different shore helps me to keep things in perspective. At least I know what’s waiting for me and I know my way back, but this shore offers so much promise and I feel guilty for even enjoying it sometimes.
“Fuck!” Paul’s voice rang out across the backyard as the hammer he had been holding clattered to the ground. Paul held his throbbing hand, as the pain was already beginning to fade at his tendency to quickly heal. Paul placed his hands on his woodworking table and let his head hang as he took some deep breaths.
The last five weeks had not been his best. Although the ache had become sustainable, Paul felt like he was being buffeted by rough waves. His short fuse was flaring up again and he’d been losing track of his deadlines. Now, as he stood in his workshop trying to finish an overdue piece for one of his clients, he felt the familiar throb of the imprint settling at the base of his skull.
In and out. He told himself. Paul gritted his teeth against the nagging impulse to bolt for the airport and fly across the country to see Maya. He knew that’s what was causing all of this, but she had seemed so happy and so even keel on their calls that he didn’t want to overwhelm her with his need to be near her. Paul hadn’t realized he had been gripping the work table so hard until he saw the shadow of Jacob’s form block the light coming through the entrance and he loosened the tension in his shoulders.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice gruffer than usual.
“Fine,” Paul said, still through gritted teeth. He took another breath before straightening and leaning down to pick up the hammer he had dropped. Jacob shuffled around the entrance of the workshop for a moment before coming to sit on a stool nearby. “What?” Paul almost snapped. Jacob didn’t even react.
They were quite a pair—Jacob had gotten used to Paul’s mood swings since Maya left, suffering from some of his own now that Becks was at Northwestern. It was probably a good thing the two of them were living together, seeing as they couldn’t keep good company without snapping or lashing out every once in a while. Jacob lashed out less than Paul, but he still suffered from occasional irritability and generally wanted to be alone so he could dig into the work of building his house and fixing up the garage.
The two of them lacked sleep, finding it easier to just stay awake as much as possible and work on a house project or distract themselves with running extra rounds to ward off the images of their imprints showing up in their dreams. Sleep only added to Paul’s frustration. He’d dream mostly of Maya, bare and pressed underneath him. The dream would always feel so real, vivid and warm—her lips on his were the most torturous part of it because when he’d wake up in bed alone, they felt wind chapped and cracked. After a particularly rousing dream, Paul would often pad downstairs or out to his workshop to continue renovations on the house, which would in turn wake Jacob up.
It was a den of grumbling, forlorn, emotionally strung out pair of men and each day felt like more and more effort. Now, Paul glared at Jacob as he watched him teeter on the small stool across his workshop.
“Dude, just go and see her. Enough is enough,” Jacob said. He’d already been out to see Becks twice and while he was still suffering, he wasn’t as much of a mess as Paul.
Paul let out a huge breath and then slapped the head of the hammer down on the piece he’d been finishing a little too hard and swore under his breath. “I’m seeing her next weekend.”
“Fuck that, just go now!” Jacob retorted, “Seriously. A week won’t may not make much of a difference to her, but it will for you. Just go.” He was almost pleading with Paul now.
Ever the stubborn one though, Paul shook his head and continued. He promised himself that when she left for college, he’d really try and stick to their planned meetings to give her the space and time she deserved to be a real college student. He could do this. He had to do this.
“Fine, if you’re hellbent on torturing yourself for another week, then I’m going to stay at the garage,” Jacob said as he stood up roughly from his stool. Paul raised his eyes and quirked an eyebrow at him before continuing his work.
“Whatever, just don’t come crying to me when you get eaten half to death by centipedes,” Paul said under his breath. But Jacob was already gone from his workshop. The cool changing air of the coast washed over him. It would be fall soon, and then the snow would come. He was nowhere near where he wanted to be on the house renovations. He’d wanted Maya to come home by winter break and see the new addition finished, ready for her to pick wall color and furnishings like he promised her. But now as Paul let his eyes drift over the backyard, he didn’t know if he’d make it.
With a groan, he threw down the hammer on the floor again and stalked off to his bedroom.
“Fuck this,” he said through gritted teeth as he tapped a quick message to Michael via text.
P: I need you to negotiate an extension on that piece for Wateland. Knock down the price for the delay.
P: I’m heading to New York tonight.
“I’m going to die if we do this for much longer,” Maya bemoaned to Beez who had her back turned to her, hunched over her desk in the low lamplight of their room. “Beez!” Maya whined.
They’d been at their homework for over three hours at this point and Noah had been incessantly texting them from the karaoke bar to come and join him and some friends. They were adamant about getting this assignment done before the weekend though since the freshman mixer was scheduled for the next night and the plan was to get absolutely obliterated.
“You’ll be responsible for murder, Beez,” Maya said as she collapsed onto her book. A non-committal noise sounded from Beez’s desk. Maya had been doing well over the past few weeks as she settled into her new routine at Columbia. She was taking a full courseload and the immense amount of work that afforded her gave her enough of a distraction from the growing ache in her stomach to act like a normal teenage college student.
She and Paul had missed each other a few times that first week as Maya settled in. But after the first week, she was constantly chattering away with excitement about her classes, her friends, and New York to Paul. They video chatted almost every night before he left on rounds and Maya would smile as he’d walk her around their house, Jacob waving from the couch or out in the woodshop. He met Beez over video chat that first week and only prickled slightly when Noah waved from Maya’s doorway as he headed out back to his dorm.
Paul didn’t look too bad—a little paler maybe—but the distraction of renovating the house and travelling to Seattle for work more and doing extra rounds seemed to be keeping him even. Maya could tell he was in a little bit of pain though every time they saw each other through the screen.
Beez was talking under her breath at her desk now. Maya stared off into space with her cheek laid on her textbook. Her classes had definitely been more challenging than any coursework she’d completed in La Push, but Maya hadn’t realized she’d been craving something like this until it was thrust upon her. She was thriving even if this particular assignment was dragging her through the mud. Maya had always enjoyed being challenged intellectually and the atmosphere college provided her set her alight with new determination and fire to succeed. She knew after just her first week of classes that she had made the right choice to leave the reservation, even if that meant leaving Paul.
Paul. Just the thought of him sent a pang through her stomach and settled uncomfortably between her legs. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit that his absence was overwhelmingly felt, especially at night. He infiltrated every moment of her dreams and punctuated her waking hours. She made sure not to dwell on him too much when she was awake because the ache would come roaring back to life, but she couldn’t help seeing his warm, smiling face, or his broad, muscular frame in her dreams.
More than once, Maya had woken in a sweat after a particularly active dream where she’d felt his sweltering body on top of hers, his lips trailing down the side of her face to her neck, his hand placed expertly between her legs and shoving them apart for more access. To say she missed him was an understatement.
As Maya let her mind wander to her most recent dream of Paul for just a moment—she was back in Santa Monica with him and his hand was gripped tightly to her waist, his thumb working at her center as she bounced on top of him, panting and exhausted but so full of him. She bit her lower lip, swallowing a smile before she heard Beez shout,
“This doesn’t make SENSE! Come on, BEEZ!” Maya heard the distinct sound of her pencil rebounding off the wall and clattering to the floor. A knock sounded at the door and Maya jerked up, looking over her shoulder toward it. “That better not be fucking Noah come to drag us out of here. I’ve almost got it,” Beez revised her earlier confusion.
Maya laughed and dragged herself up out of her chair, tightening the lopsided messy bun on top of her head and pushing back the sleeves of her dark blue, oversized Columbia sweatshirt. She’d bought one for Paul too. “I’ll tell him to get lost,” Maya said as she padded over to their door and yanked it open. The air felt sucked from her body though as she was overshadowed by the immense frame of—
“PAUL!” Maya all but screamed as she hurled her body into his. She heard that deep, familiar laugh wrack his body as she squeezed her arms around his neck letting out a sigh of relief into his neck. His arms were gripped down around her body, the hot expanse of his massive palms spreading pools of warmth within her. She let out of a huff of excitement, not realizing tears were springing to the corners of her eyes.
She pulled back to look at his face, bringing one hand to the scruff of his cheek. The dark circles were apparent under his eyes, but the joy that spilled from them was enough to send her into overdrive. He looked at her like that. Like there was nothing else worth looking at. With another huff of elated breath, she closed the distance and pressed her lips to his full ones and drank him in and the world disappeared for a moment. Maya was gripping him so tightly that her hands started to hurt and when they pulled apart breathless, she eeked out, “What are you doing here? You’re a week early!”
Paul nudged his nose against hers, his hands tightening around her possessively, “I’d waited long enough. I needed to see you,” he said and the color of his voice somehow turned the brightness up in hers. She let out a small laugh that made his eyes shoot to her mouth momentarily before he said, “Miss me?”
“So much,” she said as one of her tears of joy escaped the corner of eye and drifted down her cheek. He smiled and Maya’s heart ratcheted up as he brought his lips back down upon hers, flooding her mouth with the taste of forest, of home, of him.
After a few heart stopping moments lost in him, Maya pulled back for air, her eyes half lidded in that heady warmth of love. She brought a hand to his face and he reveled in the sensation for a moment, pressing his hand on top of hers for a moment.
“I”m so happy you’re here,” Maya said softly as she stepped back to wipe the tears off her cheeks. Paul automatically stepped forward into the room, hungry for her and determined for there to be no distance between them. “Oh!” Maya said as Paul wrapped an arm around her waist. “This is Beez!” Maya swiveled around and was met with the open mouth and shocked stare of Beez who had halted her homework at some point to watch the two lovers embrace.
“Beez, this is my boyfriend Paul.” Maya said.
“Uuuhhh,” Beez faltered, staring up at the intensely tall and muscular man–definitely a man!—standing in her dorm.
“Nice to meet you. Maya’s said you’re a great roommate, so thank you for making that part easy for her,” Paul said in his warm, friendly tone. Maya smiled up at him and she felt his hand tighten its grip on her lower back.
“Y-y-yeah of course!” Beez finally managed as she stood up quickly, knocking over a cup of pens on her desk. She hastily held her hand out to Paul who leaned forward, not letting go of Maya and shook it gently. “You’re so...so…”
Paul raised an eyebrow and looked from Beez to Maya, “Handsome?” he offered. Maya let out a laugh.
Beez gestured widely with her hands to try and communicate the sheer size of him. Paul, catching on now, nodded. “I ate a lot of protein growing up.”
“It’s the rez water,” Maya quipped, “Makes them extra beefy.”
“Wow,” Beez sighed, her eyes clouding with that common look that most women outside of the reservation got when they saw a member of the pack. It was true, they were huge, gorgeous, towering figures. And their intense warmth emanated from their bodies offering some overwhelming feeling of protection to those nearby. Or maybe it was just all in their head, who knows, but the reaction from people outside of the rez was consistent.
Behind Beez, her phone rang. She whirled around to snatch it up and clap it to her ear. Maya turned back to Paul, her heart nearly melting at the sight of him. He leaned his face down close to hers and kissed her forehead, wrapping another arm around her and pressing her against his body. Maya’s tension eased and she could feel Paul physically relax. It had been too long.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just thought five weeks was enough and I….needed you,” Paul admitted again. Maya gave him a reassuring smile and placed a hand on the side of his neck.
“I know. It was too long, I hadn’t even realized how different I’d felt until just now.” Maya said. Paul relaxed a little at that. He’d been worried that the phone calls and video chats had been enough for her, but something in him felt satisfied that it hadn’t been, that she needed him too.
“Okay! Fine! Jeez!” Beez hung up the phone and turned to Maya and Paul. “That was Noah. Our presence has been damn near demanded at Shilo’s this evening. Apparently, Professor Moore’s grad assistant is there and we might get the details for the midterm and a good face to match the name if we buy him beers or something.” Beez grabbed her light jacket off of her bed and started to put on her shoes.
“Oh,” Maya said, turning to look at Paul again, “Uhh, well.” Now that Paul was here, she couldn’t and didn’t want to leave him. “I was gonna—”
“Let’s go,” Paul offered gently.
“Really?” Maya said, somewhat surprised. “But aren’t you hungry?”
“Nah, I’m fine, let’s go get those midterm details. And I can meet the rest of your friends, right?” he asked. Paul was starving. He hadn’t bothered to eat before he left for his flight that afternoon, leaving in a rush but he wasn’t going to derail Maya because he’d shown up earlier than planned.
“Okay!” Maya said, happiness pouring through her. This would be amazing, her two worlds colliding and she’d get to show off Paul. “Where are you staying?” Maya asked suddenly.
“A brownstone in West Harlem,” Paul said nonchalantly. “Belongs to a client who’s currently in Europe for the next six months so…”
“Nice,” Beez said. Maya let out a hum of excitement and pulled out of Paul’s arms to get changed.
“I’ll just wait outside,” he said, thumbing over his shoulder. When he left, Beez turned to Maya with an incredulous look on her face.
“How did you land THAT?!” she squealed.
“Keep your voice down!” Maya said, pulling on a long sleeve shirt and some high waisted jeans that hugged her curves. “It’s a long story.” After combing through her mess of hair and dabbing on some tinted chapstick, the trio were off in the direction of Shilo’s, a local college pub that thankfully never checked any ID.
Maya threaded her hand through Paul’s and pulled him along through the pub toward a particular corner where her friends usually sat. When Noah spotted Beez and Maya across the pub coming toward them, he gave out a hearty, “Heeeeey!” to which the rest of the people in the group did too. Maya beamed and gave a short wave.
She was proud of the friends she’d already made in the short time she’d been at Columbia. They had truly made her feel welcome and Noah especially had been kind in showing her and Beez all of the shortcuts to their classes, how to find their major advisor during the lunch hour when the department’s building was deserted and where to go for the best on campus coffee.
Paul sat in a chair next to Maya and only then did she hear Noah ask, “Who’s this?” Noah’s eyes flitted confusedly from Maya to Paul.
“This is my boyfriend, Paul!” Maya said to mumbles of hellos around the table. “He’s in town for the weekend.”
“Oh! This is Paul!” Noah said, nodding and pouring a glass of beer from the table’s pitcher for each of them. “Well, you are fucking good looking. Good to know My-pie wasn’t exaggerating on that one.”
Paul tried to hide the grimace at the nickname Noah termed Maya with and nodded, taking the glass of beer. The large group around the table raised their glasses in unison and they toasted. Maya leaned a little out of her chair to settle into Paul’s side as he draped his arm around her shoulder.
After introducing each of her friends to Paul, they fell into casual conversation. Maya noticed that Noah was trying to keep up conversation with Paul, asking him what he did, how he liked Washington, if he had lived anywhere else, and digging for any common things they shared. Paul answered kindly, but his usual warmth that he shared with his brothers was nowhere to be seen here. He was definitely a little more on guard than usual, not giving any more information than was absolutely necessary without sounding rude.
Beez and Maya were talking to Professor Moore’s graduate assistant, Tate, and trying to get in his good graces to boost their chances of a more favorable grade on the midterm. Moore was known for his particularly brutal midterms, so any chance they had at succeeding they were going to take it. Tate seemed charmed by Beez, but was especially interested in Maya. Paul’s hand gripped her shoulder from time to time at a comment or two Tate would make at her, but that was the most reaction she got out of him seeing as he was preoccupied with Noah’s chattering.
Around the time when Noah was bullied into getting another pitcher for the table, Maya excused herself to go to the bathroom. Paul’s face looked a little worn and Maya knew she’d need to dip out of the evening soon with him so they could have some time alone.
On her way back from the bathroom though, Noah intercepted her, lightly grabbing her arm and tugging her toward the bar while he waited for his pitcher to be filled.
“Can I help you?” Maya teased. Noah dropped his hold from her arm and they both leaned on the bartop conspiratorially.
“So, that’s your boyfriend, huh?” Noah gave an impressed whistle and Maya let out a small laugh.
“Yeah, he’s pretty great,” she smiled.
“I’ll say, seems like he’s done just about everything under the sun at least once,” Noah crooned.
“What were you expecting? Some backwater hick of a boyfriend that couldn’t string two sentences together?” Maya shot back nudging her shoulder into Noah’s. He shook his head with light laughter and leaned his head toward hers.
“Nah, you’re too smart to settle for something like that. Plus, if he was anything other than what he is, I would have swept you off your feet day one, admit it,” he waggled his eyebrows at her and leaned his body toward hers playfully crowding her.
“Oh please, you’re not my type anyway,” Maya rolled her eyes and used both of her hands to shove against his shoulder and he dramatically flung himself onto the bar. They both laughed and Noah righted himself to fling his arm around her shoulders and pull their heads together as he said softly to her,
“No, My, he’s really great. I’m happy for you. It must be hard to be out here without him,” Noah always did this thing where he got right to the heart of stuff and while Maya still wasn’t sure of his intentions, he’d only been kind and endearing to her so far.
“It’s definitely not a cakewalk,” Maya admitting, slumping a little sideways and leaning into Noah’s side as she reached to pull the pitcher of beer toward him, “But we’re making it work.”
“Good,” Noah said, “Now all we have to do is find me the girl of my dreams. My dad said if I came back without a wife he’d personally enlist the help of our neighborhood’s matchmaker, who has successfully matched the pairing of three alley cat couples using expired cans of tuna. My prospects are not looking great.” Just as they leaned up away from the bar, she felt the familiar prickle of eyes on her.
“Maya!” Paul said a little too aggressively, almost startling her. Maya turned as Noah let his arm drop, using both hands to hold the pitcher. “I think it’s time to go.” He said roughly.
“Uuuuh,” Noah said confused for a half a second before Paul’s glare silenced him.
“Paul,” Maya started, taking a step toward him.
“Let’s go,” he said sharply again in that too loud, commanding voice. His eyes were on fire with what she could only place as anger and as Paul looked from Noah to Maya she realized what was fanning the flames—jealousy. She reached her hand out toward him and he took it quickly pulling her toward the door to Noah’s bewilderment. Just as Noah tried calling after them, Paul nearly yanked her through the front door of the pub as it clattered closed behind them.
“Paul, slow down!” Maya said as he pulled her toward the street and looked to hail a cab. “You’re going to rip my arm off,” she said as he tugged her toward the curb. Paul looked down at her, venom now painting his features and Maya let out a huff. Paul raised his arm and a cab pulled up a few seconds later. He yanked open the door and all but pushed Maya through it and when she settled into the backseat crossing her arms over her chest as he gave the address to the driver, she was teleported back to when they first got together. Had the trust between them really evaporated that quickly?
Paul sat in stony silence as they wound through the city streets to the brownstone Paul was staying in. Maya was fuming but also a little worried—maybe this wouldn’t actually work the way they needed it to.
“What happened back there?” Maya asked, trying to be gentle. But Paul stared out the window, small tremors shaking through his body. “Paul?” Maya tried again, but still nothing. She leaned her head back on the seat and gave out a sigh. After ten minutes of silence, the cab pulled up to their destination and Maya got out of the car following Paul but halfway up the steps she stopped.
“Paul!” she nearly shouted. “Talk to me. What happened?”
“Come inside,” he said sharply, “Now.”
Maya rolled her eyes at the commanding tone, “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”
“MAYA!” he whirled on her as the front door swung open, “Get inside now.” Maya faltered back a step and then, her face turned into a frown, stomped past him into the house. He closed the door roughly behind him and as she turned to confront him again, he was on her. His hands wrapped in her hair, tight on the back of her head and crushed her lips to his. Maya let out a whimper of surprise as she felt the roughness of his beard scrub against her chin. He didn’t let her go though and Maya began to melt into the all too good feeling of him.
He backed her up against the wall, pressing his body onto hers so that her breath was all but knocked from her, his lips still frantic on hers, drinking her in, wanting more, demanding more from her. Maya’s hands fell to the top of his jeans, fingering the button clasp open and then letting her hands wander up under his shirt to feel his hard muscled body. God, she’d missed this. Paul wrenched his mouth off of hers for a second before descending on her neck, sucking and kissing and nibbling as little moans escaped her lips. His hands made quick work of her clothes, so much so that Maya was surprised to find that she was completely naked after just a short moment as she was caught up in his aggressive, peppered kisses down her body. His hand was between her thighs, spreading her and rubbing between her folds making her cry out. She hadn’t been touched like this in five weeks and it showed. She became putty in his hands, gripping onto his shoulders and biting against his chest as he pushed her close to her edge. When he ripped his hand away just as she was about to cum, she let out a distraught whine and threw her head back to look at him.
“Paul,” she panted, breathless. He scooped her up easily into his arms and towed her toward the living room complete with too grand furniture and an old fireplace. He grabbed a soft knitted blanket off of the tufted leather couch and spread it on the floor before laying Maya down. After taking off his clothes, he settled between her legs, bringing his lips onto hers again in a fevered rush. Maya reached down between them and took his length in her hand and as Paul let out a strangled moan. Her hand felt so good on him that he thought he’d explode right there, but instead, he let her guide him into her, pressing her open and watching the pained look on her face relax as he stretched her open again.
He sank slowly into her with all the control he had as she let out soft whines and wiggled underneath him trying to slow his path inside of her as she readjusted to him.
“Fuck!” he moaned into her neck as Maya’s hands gripped his sides and he connected his hips to hers. “God, My,” he breathed, “I missed you so much, baby.”
“Missed you!” Maya gasped as he leaned up and started to slowly pump in and out of her, watching her beautiful face roll from side to side, lost in the overwhelming sensation of coming back together. Maya felt the familiar tightening in her stomach of their imprint, their bond, their destiny, crying out in relief as he cradled her head under his forearm and lifted her other leg up so he could angle into her deeper, hitting that sweet, sensitive spot he knew so well within her.
It didn’t take Maya much longer before she felt herself shuddering around him, the pure absence of him before was starkly contrasted against him filling her now and it was almost too much. Maya threw her head back and pulled his head into her neck as she came around him, his orgasm not far behind as she clenched around him causing him to groan and slam into her quickly.
After he slipped out of her and came to rest on his back next to her, they both panted in unison, alight with release in one another.
“Paul,” Maya started again. But Paul got to his feet and pulled her up into his arms.
“We’re not finished,” he said between breaths as he carried her up the stairs. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled as he lowered his face back down to hers enveloping her in a warm kiss before kicking the bedroom door closed behind them.
The next morning, Maya sat perched on the barstool in the kitchen as she ate her eggs and toast. Paul was standing and eating in front of her, a relieved look on his face as he finally ate. After another moment of silence, Maya pushed her disheveled hair from her face and opened her mouth to try and address what happened last night again, but Paul started up before her.
“Michael’s finding me a place to move into out here next spring. I’ll make sure it’s close to campus,” he said easily shoveling food into his mouth.
“Wha—” Maya started, but again, he cut her off.
“I want you to move in with me next spring out here. I’ll still have to travel off and on between here and home but Michael wants me to start building more clientele out here so we can expand my reach. My clients in Seattle can only refer me so much to their friends before the pool empties.” Paul turned toward the sink and started washing his dish.
“What is this?” Maya said skeptically.
“What do you mean?” he asked, turning back to her and taking a drink of coffee. “I’m coming out here to work, My.”
“Paul, I live in the dorms,” Maya said.
“This semester, yeah. But next semester, if I’ve got a place, it makes sense for you to just stay with me, right?” he asked, moving to pour himself some more coffee. Maya leaned her head down to rest in her hands and let out a frustrated groan.
“Why were you so fucking weird at the bar last night when you forced me to leave?” she got out finally.
“It was time to go. I didn’t feel like sharing your company anymore and we had...things to take care of,” he said, a small smile quirking at his lips. Maya groaned and looked at him, her hands cupped around her cheeks as she said,
“You nearly yanked me out of that bar when you saw me and Noah talking. And now you’re moving out here next year? I thought we were going to try the visiting thing.” Maya bemoaned.
Pauls hand gripped the countertop and she could see he was trying to steady himself, “My, that dude is into you and I was well within my rights to get you away from him. You’re mine. He needs to know that,” Paul said firmly. Maya stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open.
“Unbelievable,” she breathed.
“What?!” Paul said, a tone of amusement in his voice.
“You’re jealous of Noah?! Noah? Noah. Really? Noah?” she said over and over again as if saying his name would somehow make it more plausible, “You saw him right? Last night? And you’re jealous of him? Paul...come on,” Maya begged.
“He was all over you, My!” Paul shot back, some of that anger laced jealousy coming back. Maya gave a frustrated grumble and pushed back from the counter to come around and wrench open the fridge before shutting it again.
“You can’t just move out here to keep tabs on me. I’m going to have a lot of male friends out here Paul, the department is DRIPPING with them. And none of them even come close to you, so I’m going to need you to not go all caveman on me every time I hang out with one of them. Besides, Tate was being way more obvious than Noah and you didn’t seem too threatened by him.” Maya was annoyed.
“I’m not coming out here to keep tabs on you,” Paul said, leaning back against the sink and watching her.
“Oh bullshit!” she said glaring at him. He raised an eyebrow at her, daring her for a fight and she let out an exhausted breath. She knew it was useless. He was going to move out here whether she wanted him to or not. “I’m staying in the dorms next semester, but I’ll obviously stay with you on weekends. But Paul, this is still my time out here. I know it’s been hard for you—”
“No you don’t know, My. I can barely fucking concentrate back home. I can’t sleep, I don’t want to eat. I’m behind on a ton of deadlines and Jacob wants to strangle me every time I come downstairs in the middle of the night and wake him up with my table saw.”
“You….you’re using your table saw in the middle of the night?” Maya said, a laugh just beyond her words. Paul stared at her, clearly on edge. She padded over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, leaning her head into his chest. “I’m sorry it’s been hard for you. We knew this wouldn’t be easy. I just….” She pulled back to look up at him. His hand immediately cupped her cheek and she felt that breathless feeling push through her when he looked at her like that. The look that communicated that she was his and that there was no life without each other and she was silly for even trying. But she was still going to try. A look that, if it was at all possible, would probably get her pregnant. “Paul, I love you. I love our life in La Push, I just...was enjoying not blending the two together so quickly. Not yet anyway.”
Paul’s eyes moved around her face, worry and concern pulling at his features for just a moment before he leaned down, pressed a sweet, soft kiss to her forehead and connected his eyes with hers before saying barely above a whisper, “Tough.”
Maya’s eyes widened in surprise and then laughter. He swallowed her in another kiss and Maya let herself get lost for a little bit. If he was asking for this now, Maya knew it must have been hell back in La Push without her, so she wouldn’t push the topic of moving in together out here next year just yet. For now, she just wanted to let herself go and feel that familiar warmth fill her up.
Maya turned on her phone as the plane landed and taxied to her gate. Paul had told her before she took off that he wouldn’t be able to come pick her up but that she’d send someone from the pack to grab her. Expectantly, she waited as her phone found service to alert her with a text of who would be picking her up, but none popped up. Maya frowned and opened her last text from Paul.
M: Babe, who’s coming to get me?
No answer. Not even as she deplaned and went to grab her suitcase that was mostly filled with textbooks and some Columbia gear to gift to the pack. As Maya made her way out of the Sea Tac airport to the pick up spot, she glanced around. The November air bit at her nose and she tucked into her jacket more, wishing that Paul had been there to greet her with his too hot arms wrapped down around her.
Maya didn’t have to search for too long though before she saw a head towering above the rest of the milling crowd getting into cars and exchanging hugs. Seth Clearwater waved from his spot beside his Subaru and Maya grinned making her way toward him. He enveloped her in a hug when she was close enough and Maya couldn’t help but feel like she was home.
“Good to see you, Maya!” Seth said gently. Maya pulled back to look at him and shook her head.
“I heard congratulations were in order,” she replied and he looked off to the side, a soft blush coming across his cheeks as he nodded before looking back to her.
“Yeah, I just couldn’t help myself.” he said as he grabbed her suitcase and set it in the trunk before closing the passenger door after she clambered in. Paul had told her recently that Seth had popped the question to Sadie and she had obviously said yes. Maya was shocked—Seth and Sadie had known each other for less time than she and Paul and yet, here they were taking the next step. The council was obviously thrilled which made Maya squirm but before she could dwell too much on it, Paul had changed the subject, getting her input about a second bathroom for the guest bedroom addition.
She had texted Sadie her congratulations but now, with Seth in front of her, it all became real. Is this how fast imprints moved? She knew that Emily and Sam had been a pretty quick affair even with the crushing fact that Leah and Sam had been together at the time. Kim had spilled that she and Jared got together almost immediately too and they had tied the knot when they turned 19 to no one’s surprise. But still, it all felt so…..fast.
Maya asked Seth about school and how he and Sadie were doing now that they lived together and were planning a wedding. All seemed to be normal back at the reservation and that was comforting for Maya. The two hour drive back to La Push was filled with easy conversation with Seth but when they pulled down her drive to the familiar blue house, Maya almost squealed with excitement. She’d missed her home, she’d missed this life, and she was so excited to get almost ten full days of bliss with him, uninterrupted.
Seth carried her suitcase up to the house despite her protests and as she unlocked the door and swung it open, she let her eyes sweep across the living room trying to take it all in before—
“OH FUCK!” she said, her eyes wide on the scene before her. She heard her suitcase clatter to the ground behind her that Seth no doubt dropped at the scream that rang out across the living room. Jacob and Becks sprang apart, fully naked and on her couch. Jacob grabbed a pillow and placed it in front of him as Becks wrapped herself in the knitted blanket that was kept thrown over the back of the couch.
“Fuck, Maya!” Jacob shouted as he back away toward the bathroom, “I’m—”
“My, this isn’t...I mean,” Becks started as she closed her eyes tight, as if she could make Maya and Seth disappear if she didn’t see them. “This is...Ah!”
“What...the fuck!” Maya said, her eyes light with laughter.
“SETH! TURN THE FUCK AROUND. MAYA PLEASE!” Jacob yelled as he stood half in and half out of the bathroom.
“Were you two just...were you...were you fucking on my couch?” Maya pointed toward the couch and Becks bit her lower lip so hard she thought she tasted blood.
“Maya, I can explain.” Becks started.
“You guys were. You guys were fucking on my couch. Oh my god!” Maya said, the panic starting to rise in her.
“Can you give us a minute?!” Jacob shouted across the room. Becks looked over her shoulder at him as if to ask him to keep quiet. “I just want to put my pants on! Seth, get out!”
Seth let out a barking laugh and hurdled out the door, his body already being turned away at Jacob’s original request.
“Maya!” Jacob yelled again and her eyes snapped toward him. “Can you please go outside for a minute?!” he said, embarrassment thick in his voice.
“I’m sorry,” Becks mouthed as Maya backed out of the front door, shutting it behind her and turning slowly. Seth was standing with his hands on his hips by his car.
“Are they together?” She asked incredulously.
“Looks like it,” Seth said, sucking a sharp breath in between his teeth.
Everything and everyone was moving so fast—too fast. And now Becks and Jacob were….she couldn’t even think about it. Her hand tightened into a fist just as her cell phone buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it. She wasn’t upset that they were together, just that once again everything seemed to be so easy for everyone else and their imprint.
Her phone buzzed again and she heard Seth’s voice swimming in her ear.
“You should answer it, I think it’s Paul,” he said looking down at his texts. Maya dug into her pocket and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby, did Seth get you okay?”
“How long have Becks and Jacob been hooking up?”
“What?” Paul said, taken off guard.
“I just walked in on them going at it in our living room.” A groan could be heard on the other side of the line.
“I’m coming home. I’ll be there in an hour, just sit tight.” he said, not answering her question. Maya hung up and looked at Seth.
“So how long have you known, then?” she asked. Seth shifted from one foot to the other.
“A little over a month,” he said finally. Maya nodded her head and looked at the ground, letting the sting of it sink in. Her best friend didn’t even tell her, but everyone else seemed to know before her.
She knew it wasn’t fair. She was all the way across the country trying to do her own thing. She’d chosen this, but still, she felt entirely left out of the loop. And the separation of it all made it all the more devastating. Seth looked at her, not knowing what to say and Maya stood frozen on her doorstep, the hurt twisting into that familiar anger that plagued her all too often now. She’d never felt so distant from her tribe or the pack than she did right now, even when she was all the way in New York. What was worse, she’d never felt this disconnected from her best fucking friend who obviously didn’t care enough to pick up the phone and tell her what had been going on and how so much had changed.
Maybe they didn’t recognize this Maya anymore. And that realization started to scare her just a little bit. This was her home, so why did she feel a million miles away right now?
The front door creaked open behind her and Maya slowly turned to see the sheepish look on Jacob’s face, Becks standing firmly next to him. Did she even recognize this Becks? Maya tried her hardest to swallow the tears rising in her throat but Becks could see the hurt there plainly.
“My, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you...I...I didn’t think you’d take it very well...so I just..didn’t,” Becks started. Maya was still standing on her porch like she was a visitor to her home as Becks and Jacob stood comfortably in it’s frame. The sense of not belonging started to creep in all around her.
“You didn’t tell me,” Maya repeated in a voice that she didn’t wholly recognize.
“Paul thought it might be a good idea to—” Becks started, but Maya’s look silenced her.
Paul thought!? Paul thought it might be a good idea not to tell me? What the fuck?! Maya was having a hard time controlling the anger that was bubbling up in her now, but she swallowed hard and nodded for Becks to continue.
“Paul thought it would be a good idea to wait until we were all together to tell you. But obviously...this is not how we wanted to do it. My...Please, I’m sorry,” Becks said.
But she couldn’t say what she was sorry for and that somehow made it worse. She wasn’t sorry she didn't tell her, just that she found out this way. And the distance only grew in Maya.
“Come in,” Jacob said, moving away from the door and Maya entered quietly, being invited into her own home and feeling worlds apart. Nothing felt like it was supposed to anymore but she was still hoping for anything to tether her to the spot. She turned and faced them before saying.
“So tell me,” as she watched their faces morph into that of two worried parents consoling a child. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Thank you for all the love and the comments and the reblogs. I couldn't be more grateful and am so glad you're enjoying the story. As always if you'd like to be tagged let me know, of course if you don't want to be tagged any longer let me know that as well.
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I woke during the night to a gentle shake from Jared, "should I pick him up? he's crying?" He whispered. I nodded sleepily, "yes please" I murmured. He'd jumped up, grabbed Oli and brought him over to the bed passing him to me quietly. As I lay there feeding in silence, I felt his fingers, featherlight as he stroked my cheek while pushing my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. As soon as Oli was tucked back in bed, he lay down pulling me close again as we drifted off to sleep, I sighed blissfully, feeling happier than I had in a long time.
I had no idea what time it was when I started to wake, but I had been dreaming and the dream had been ... hot. We were together again and it was as mind blowing as it had ever been, I felt like I was on fire. "Charlie, hey, are you awake .... you okay?" I heard him asking me, I was still half asleep, the ache between my legs was so strong. I nodded, trying to compose myself before fully waking up. "Are you sure cause you seem to be .... in some .... discomfort" he said, I could hear the amusement in his voice. I suddenly became aware of why he was so amused. In my sleep I had wrapped my leg around his, not only that but I was half lying on top of him and embarrassingly, I think I had been rubbing against his thigh. I was mortified!!! I gasped and quickly unhooked my leg from his trying desperately to pull away. "Oh God, I'm .... sorry .... I'm so .... sorry" I stammered. I heard a soft laugh escape him and I groaned in embarrassment. I tried again to pull away again, but he had me in a vice grip, I couldn't move. "Charlie, we know each other well enough to know this is nothing to be embarrassed about, I mean how many times did I wake up doing pretty much the same thing?" he said, "stop talking, you're making this worse" I begged in a whisper. "Tell me ... when was the last time?" He asked curiously, I shook my head, "ugh, please, stop" I groaned again quietly my hands covering my face. "Come on, tell me" he coaxed, he was clearly amused. "Sweden" I mumbled. "What?! You're kidding?" He said surprised. I shook my head from behind my hands, "I'm not kidding, please can we drop it, and let me go" I hissed. "Charlotte, let me .... ease your discomfort" he said, his voice low now, had become sensual, smooth, I was certain he'd be able to feel the heat on his thigh from my pussy, not to mention the throbbing. "No, no thanks, I'm fine, just ... fine" I said in a shaky voice that was fooling no one. I felt one hand gently run down my back and stop on my ass. He pulled me against him tighter and despite the material from my shorts and knickers separating us, the friction between my pussy and his thigh caused an involuntary moan to escape me. I felt his lips on my neck, gently brushing my overly sensitive skin. His hand left my ass and gently trailed around to the side of my shorts, slipping his fingers under the waistband. I knew what he was doing, but my resolve was quickly melting as he continued his gentle assault. As his kisses became more urgent against my throat, a moan escaped from him, I felt it reverberate from deep inside his chest. I unhooked my leg rolling back ever so slightly allowing him to slide his hand down the front of my panties. His long slim fingers slipping into my drenched folds. "Charlie, you are soaked baby" he growled low in my ear. I let out a small moan, but as soon as the soft pad of his finger came into contact with my swollen clit I had to stop myself from crying out! I threw my head back into the pillows arching up into his hand, gripping his shoulder and arm, my fingers digging into his skin as he increased the pace. Embarrassingly, all it took was a few more firm expert strokes and I exploded, my body shaking as I fell apart, pulling at him frantically as the tremors ran through me. As I came down to earth I became aware of my surroundings again. Embarrassment flooded into my cheeks as I became aware of his fingers, still now, but firmly in place. "Oh God, oh God, sorry, oh fuck, I can't believe I did that" I muttered mortified at my abandon, I turned my face into him trying to bury it against his chest. "Would you stop, you've got nothing to be sorry about baby" he whispered, I shook my head squeezing my legs together. "Charlie you're stopping the circulation in my hand, let go" he said half laughing, "fuck, sorry" I groaned letting my legs fall apart. As I did his fingers slid down, sinking into my pussy slowly. "Noooooo ...." I moaned softly, "shhhh" he whispered. I grabbed his hand trying to stop him. "But .... what about the ..." I stuttered helplessly. "He is asleep, it's okay, relax" he whispered, "I can't, we shouldn't ..." I said half heartedly shaking my head, I knew I was fighting a losing battle. "Baby, please ..... stop fighting this ..." he said in a soft voice, kissing my neck once again. His fingers slowly sliding in deeper, I sighed in ecstasy. My fingers digging into his arms as his fingers sunk into me again and again. Before I could rush headlong towards another release, he slid out, causing a small cry of frustration to escape me. He turned and I opened my eyes to see him pull off his jockeys, then turned back to me. His fingers hooked into my shorts and knickers and he slid them down my legs tossing them over the side of the bed. He made to grab my singlet but I stopped him shaking my head, "sorry” he said nodding. "It's okay" I said biting my lip. His hand slid over my stomach, he stopped suddenly catching sight of the small scar down low on my stomach. "Is this .... did you have the baby .... I mean, was it?" The surprise evident in his voice, he couldn't quite ask the words. I nodded, "yes, he got stuck and ...." I shrugged, not really needing to say more. His fingers trailed featherlight across the scar, a small frown on his face. "I wish ..." he started to say, but I cut him off putting a finger to his lips and shaking my head slightly. He nodded and bend his head down kissing me softly, the tenderness making my breath catch in my throat. As he rolled on top of me he whispered, "open up for me baby" I nodded biting my lip and I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him to me. He slid into my warmth, filling me, a sigh escaping my lips. It was perfect, like we'd never been apart. His started slow, but as I became more slick they became faster, burying himself deeper, each thrust pushing me closer to the edge. My heart swelled as he drove me onto to another mind blowing orgasm. Whispering over and over into my ear, 'I've missed you baby, God I've missed you'. As he came down from his own release he held me for the longest time, still inside me. We finally separated and I shamelessly lay on his chest listening to his heart thumping. His fingers trailing patterns up and down my arms. I heard his phone ring briefly then signal a message. I looked up to see him frowning at it, he looked away not even picking it up. I started getting up but he held me tight, "where are you going?" he whispered. "Bathroom, he'll probably wake up soon" I said with a small nod towards the cot. He nodded, "okay" and grinned lifting his arm up to release me. I came out and slid back down into his waiting arms yawning, it was only 6.15, we both fell back to sleep for a little longer, waking to the sound of a little squeak and a tiny whine coming from the baby. Jared's face lit up and he leaped up out of bed to peer into the cot. "I should probably pick him up?" He asked, not even waiting he reached in and gently grabbed him. I shook my head smiling wryly. "Hi buddy, did you sleep? Are you hungry?" He asked kissing Oli's cheeks. Oli for his part, smiled his toothless smile and blew some raspberries as he always did, quite enjoying the attention. He brought him over to the bed and sat down passing him to me. I got comfortable and within minutes he was quietly feeding. I heard his phone ring yet again, he exhaled frustratedly and decided to pick it up. "Hi" he said, in what I immediately recognized as his fake voice upon answering. He nodded a bit, "hmm, oh yeah" followed. I wondered curiously who it was, whoever it was he was trying to avoid me hearing them. The baby became distracted at the sound of his voice and turned to look at him. He started making noises, leaning towards Jared, "ah it's the tv ...." he looked at me briefly, guilt written all over his face. I pulled the baby back towards me and looked away from him, inexplicably hurt at his remark. He spoke a few minutes more then finished up the call. "Charlotte, I'm sorry, I just didn't want to get into it with her, not over the phone" he said immediately. "I don't care, I don't care what you tell her, or don't tell her, it's none of my business" I said shaking my head vehemently. "That's not true, I saw the look on your face, I'm not just going to tell her over the phone that I've got a baby I knew nothing about, I can't do that to her" he explained. "I thought it wasn't serious" I bit back. He exhaled, "it's not, but it's .... look I owe her a proper explanation" he said. "That sounds serious to me" I said smugly. "Charlie stop being a smart ass" He snapped. I shook my head, fighting to keep the tears that bad sprung to my eyes, from starting to fall. "I knew this was a mistake, maybe you should just go" I said with a wavering voice. "No, you don't get to dictate how things are going to be, you can't push me away again and expect me to accept it" He said firmly. "What about you!! You expect me to what? Let you hang around for a few days, screw me around, then go back to your, not serious girlfriend?!! No!! I'm not doing it, sneaking around again, I have to think of Oli now" I said, finally exploding. "I told you it's not serious, but I have to have the decency to tell her in person, it was never serious, but I still owe her that, I would never screw you around, especially now, Oliver is important to me as well!!" He growled. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Look, all I'm saying is, you're free to come and see him, but I won't be a party to coming between you and ... her" I said through gritted teeth. "There's no me and her!" He said running a hand through his hair. I shook my head and got up to put the baby back in the cot. I turned and ran straight into his chest, "What the fuck ...!" I exclaimed as he grabbed my wrists and pulled me away from the cot. I was just about to protest but the look he gave me quickly silenced me. "Charlotte, you are the most stubborn woman I've ever met" he started saying, I opened my mouth to argue but he shook his head and cut me off, "Don't talk back!! For once just let me talk without talking back" he said firmly. I slowly nodded, stunned into silence by his tone. "Charlotte, I made it very clear to her that I was not interested in anything serious, I never ever gave her the impression that I was, but the fact is I have been seeing her, so I can't be that asshole that breaks it off over the phone, then is suddenly out and about with another woman and a baby, you get that right?" He asked reasonably. I nodded stiffly, "I don't see why you need to stop seeing her in any case it's not like ..." I quickly started to say. "Do you remember the first time we were ever together, because I do, I remember every minute, every second, every touch, I remember every sigh you made. Boy did I have plans for you. I was going to fuck you senseless, have some fun and cut you loose" I gasped, but he shook his head, forcing me to maintain my silence, "But I found myself wanting you around, every time we were together I couldn't wait for the next time. I never stopped wanting you, even when we were apart, all this time, you're all I thought about. For months I would wake up in the morning and still reach out for you. Don't you realize, I want you! Jesus, Charlie I love you, do you understand? I love you" He said with a growl. I stopped and slowly looked up at him, I was dumbstruck. I couldn't form any words. "I want us to be together" He said softly, he watched me curiously waiting for my reaction. "You only think you do because of the baby" I said finally in a whisper, he shook his head. "No, that's not true, Charlie, I waited outside the house yesterday hoping you would come out, then I followed you to the bookshop, I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you how I felt, I would have whether there was the baby or not, why do you think I came back after I said goodbye, I bought that stupid book as an excuse to come back and see you" he said exasperated. I shook my head, unable to believe what he was telling me, l had dreamt of it so often but the reality had me scared. "Why, why are you shaking your head?" He said, I could sense anxiety in his tone. "Charlie, don't you .... don't you care about me?" He asked tentatively. I had kept my feelings to myself for so long that I couldn't say them, I was afraid that he didn't mean it, that he'd said it out of a sense of guilt. "Charlotte speak to me!" He urged, he dropped my hands and took hold of my cheeks. I shook my head ever so slightly, a single tear rolling down my cheek, I tried to let my head drop but he wouldn't let me go. "No, don't do that, baby please, talk to me" he pleaded softly. "I was an asshole, I know, I never told you how I felt when I should have, I don't blame you for not telling me about the baby, I was waiting for you to tell me that you loved me when I should have just told you how I felt, but I was too fucking proud in case you didn't feel the same way" he paused then, waiting for me to react. I took a deep shuddering breath, I was overwhelmed by his admission. More silent tears gently rolled down my cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away. He pulled me against his chest enveloping me in his arms. "Don't cry baby, please" he said quietly. I couldn't help but sob at his tenderness and at his words. So much time lost, so many things we could have shared, but I needed to take the blame as well. I never told him how I'd felt, but for different reasons. I suddenly pushed him away, "no, stop, stop it" I said between tears, he looked shocked. "Do you even remember why I left the tour in the first place? Do you??!!! You stood there with those girls, those .... fans, that I know you had slept with before and you knew I could see and hear what you were saying and you never tried to hide the fact that you were going to meet them later that night" I said, he was more than a little surprised by my outburst. "What? After all this time you throw that in my face? Are you kidding? You know I never went off with anyone" he said incredulously. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away. "Charlotte you know that right? I never met up with those girls" he said trying to grab my chin to turn me to face him. I stepped back out of his reach. "I don't know what you did, all I know is, that day, you went out of your way to show me that you were more I interested in them than you were in me" I said quietly, shrugging. "I can barely even remember what I did, I probably did it to make you jealous, I don't know, but the truth is, I never slept with anyone, not while we were together" he said shaking his head. "We were never together" I said sadly. "You know what I mean, we never said it out loud, but we were together" he insisted "you cheated with me, on your boyfriend, time and time again, because you couldn't stay away, there was something between us, don't lie and say you had no feelings for me. That's why we argued before you left, you wanted me to tell you how I felt, I knew it, I could tell and when I didn't, you fought with me in an excuse to push me away, you always do it, it's your defense mechanism, you put up those walls and pretend you don't care" He snapped. I heard the baby making noises and made to walk over to him but Jared took my hands. "He's fine, he's not crying, please talk to me, Charlotte" he said. "I don't know what to say" I said, my voice barely a whisper. "You know what I want to hear Charlie .... do you love me?" He asked almost fearfully. I had forced myself to become numb to my feelings, only allowing my little boy to fill my heart, everything else had proved too painful, could I possibly open up now and let him in again, after everything?
