#characteroulette

[tegabyte]

artfight doodles i’ve managed to do so far. most of them belong to @characteroulette, but i also drew asja_alexandra’s character Noor because the art style they have looks so TWEWY-esque and i liked it.

i also had to draw at least one Spi, he’s my oc’s fave little guy (my fave is Aqua, i love smol and squishy jellyfish child, but i also love Spiral)

i’m not actually near my scanner so i’ve been taking photos of paper haha, it’ll work!

[tegabyte]

I did actually try to do artfight this year, I wanted to do it. But art has been uhhhh... a struggle. I do drawings occasionally but rarely finish anything or even get this far into the art process recently. Still!! I did finish two pictures for the artfight, so that's not nothing.

This is one of my brother's characters, I drew her because I love his wolf girl children hahaha.

[ageofzero]

(rng'd this) 11! Tell me the number of fandom-related words you've filtered.

oh GOD, uh okay. That's going to be.... a lot. My tumblr savior list is years and years old by this point jshadkdlfk

doing a completely too involved and not at all well managed count, I have 2,508-ish tags blocked for BBC Sherlock, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, One Direction, Hetalia, kpop, various other bandoms, Marvel, Final Fantasy VII and XV, Hamilton, Les Miserables, The Book of Mormon, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, Nightmare Before Christmas, Kingdom Hearts, Rocky Horror, Alice in Wonderland, K-On, Black Butler, Peter Pan, Fate series, all those historical C-dramas from that fad timeline, Game of Thrones and related properties, Free! (which is hell for obvious reasons lmao), Kuroko no Basuke, My Hero Academia, basically most sports animes tbh, and god so much more I don't have the patience to list after counting my whole blacklist.

at some point it transitions into a bunch of usernames I just blocked wholesale which is why sometimes I see something is blacklisted but the word isn't actually in the post lmao. It's a mess, I really need to clean it up after this.

Anything I see too much of, I just add it to the list bc it's so easy haha.

(yes I am a hater for things within fandoms I like. Curate your own experience babes)

[versegm]

Oh how about Kay Faraday for the blorbo bingo?

DAUGHTER DAUGHTER DAUGHTER I LOVE HEEEEEEEEER <3333 I hope she shows up in a mainline AA game one day she deserves it. Anyways I think she should have acrophobia considering she hit her head and got amnesia I think it would be theamtically delicious to have a bird who cannot fly because she's afraid of heights.

[versegm]

Also ⭐⭐⭐

Let's go for some fire emblem I never talk about fe fics over here

So first of all the base concept for Fever Confessions was based on convoluted and incomprehensible discord convos with a friend, where the tl;dr is "if Grima forced people to drink his blood to make them immortal and then tortured them for fun, would it be fucked up or what." I wrote a couple fics about it in our convos, and like, I had to store them somewhere right. I figured it would make no sense without context, but people apparently kind of like it? But hey, good for them!

Selena is canonically an isekai protagonist from another world (she hails from a completely different game in fact) so I thought it'd be cool if her biology was also a bit different than that of the humans in fe fates. Reacts differently to poisons, different sense of taste, ect.

in fe Fates, the royals (whomst Camilla is a part of) kinda suck, they're violent warmongers who conquer everyone around them ect ect, but they have a lot of dialogues along the lines of "despite everything we must be honorable" and stuff like that, so I really like the idea of them like... thinking they know war, but only really knowing "battle." They're ultimately sheltered royalties. They don't know jack shit about starvation or torture or the truly awful stuff that gets a war going. They think it's only exchanging blows. Idk man I think it would fuck if the guys known for unbriddled violence could still find themselves truly horrified by some shit.

As stated previously: the base premise was "Grima forcefed her his own blood to get to keep torturing her," hence why while she's hallucinating she tries to "give that blood back."

I love. Writing deities. I love going ham on themes and symbolisms. I love Grima the breath of ruin the wings of despair <3

A trope? I suppose that I really like is like. When the monster (literal or metaphorical) turns out to have been a perfectly regular bloke. And you have to grasps with the fact that this could have been you. That this was someone normal. That something truly horrible happened to twist them into something like this. I'm thinking about werewolves typing this but this is also what I meant with this specific fic.

[versegm]

Yo for your fanfic director's cut, tell me about your fave MashMorgan you have written. (If you don't have a fave, then uhh the Hanahaki one where Mash eats the flowers)

I DO HAVE A FAVORITE ACTUALLY i think Catalyst is the best mashmorgan fic I wrote tbh, which was kickstarted by this long-ass comment I got on Cleaning Bones

Okay so I told you before that in fate lore, a catalyst is something related to a specific hero, which you use to ensure you'll summon them specifically (for exemple, Astolfo's catalyst in Fate/Apocrypha is the bottle of their lost wit.) The basic idea of this fic is: if you carried off your ex's bones in a fit of grief and it called them to Chaldea. Would it be fucking awkward or what.

Morgan canonically manages to highjack the Chaldea summoning system to get a beach vacation in one event. Btw.

I'm just... really proud of this specific bit. Of course Mash is lying by arguing that Morgan might be here out of the goodness of her heart. But at the same time, she DOES genuinely believe Morgan to be a good person, because that's the person she's come to know back then. Meanwhile, Morgan 1) believes herself evil and 2) cannot comprehend the idea of anyone seeing her as anything but evil. So originally Morgan interprets it as a joke, and then, when faced with the possibility that maybe she might be good, she just goes "Hm. I don't like that. Anyways."

Also notice how Mash refers to her as the "Winter Queen" here instead of "Morgan." It's a purposeful jab here, kinda like "well ok if you're gonna call me out on my shit I'm not gonna keep referring to you on a friendly first name basis."

Love my bitch Morgan who reacts to any vaguely inconvenient emotion by just not processing them. Oh you kept pieces of my corpses? Well that is horrifying. I'm going to pretend that didn't happen now bye.

God. Like. Okay. Morgan's entire thought process (and it's upped up as a Berserker) is that she has very strict rules regarding how she interacts with the world. It literally does not matter if she hates you or if you're an enemy. If you didn't breach her rules, she won't hurt you. So here, carrying her bones is definitly a weird flex, but Morgan rationalizes it as "well, fair enough ig" which is why she refuses to engage with it from an emotional point of view. You earned that right. Enjoy it it well.

Morgan is constantly associated with water/rain/lakes/winter/ice so anytime I write her I gotta go ham on my metaphors :)

Notice that she's back to referring to that girl as "Mash" rather than "Sir Kyrielight."

Sir Galahad, in Arthuriana & Fate lore, is often considered to be the "purest" of the round table, as the only bitch who actually managed to grab the grail. That's why Morgan calls specifically upon Galahad here; she's contrasting the one who was sinless vs the truly unhinged move that is keeping pieces of someone's dead body.

Morgan does not believe there is anything good or virtuous about her. She is constantly trying to convince herself that her every actions are for selfish purposes. So it's fucking wild to her. To think that once upon a time, she had been loved. Once upon a time, she could have loved back strongly enough to nerf herself about it.

[versegm]

⭐⭐⭐ stars for you!! ⭐⭐⭐

I'm gonna go with Counting Teeth!

All the names in that story are random gibberish, EXCEPT Versipelle. "Versipelle" is a latin word literally meaning skin-changer, usually used to mean "werewolf" (from Suetonus's story about... well, a werewolf.)

Can you tell I was crying when writing that physical description. Because I was. Describing anything deals profound psychological damages to me. Everytime you see me describing a character please imagine me using a vegetable peeler on my forearms because that would be accurate.

You know reading the whole thing I'm like. 80% sure this was inspired by reading a bunch of monsterfucking hentais and thinking "man I wanna write a short story like that too." And then I didn't include the porn because I thought it was a good ending point. Which is a recurring theme in my writing.

I was ABSOLUTLY thinking of that lord farquaad meme when writing this.

Also I was picturing F/F when writing this but I am? Fairly certain I never state the protag's gender through this? Just me things.

[versegm]

OH FUCK I meant to send you a Director's Commentary thing when you reblogged it BUT I FORGOT anyway how about the deets on "And the Audience Clapped"? (If you're still in the mood)

For you? Always <3

The actual fic has a trigger warning for uh. Everything? The base premise of the fic is "Guda has incredibly disturbing intrusive thoughts and does not react well to them" so even if I don't think I'll get into details in my play by play, tw for thoughts of sexual violence, onscreen self-harm and suicide attempts, and overall blorbo from my show spiralling bad.

My primarily goal when writing this was "I want to see how fucking worse I can make Guda." But I'm a weenie I actually like bad endings so my secondary goal was "but I want it to end well."

I have absolutely no idea if I succeeded. I feel like I chickened out too much tbh (<- squicked out by sexual violence) and as for the ending I'm often told that what I qualify as a "good/okay ending" is often "fucking horrifying" to other people. Still I like the final result so that's everyone else's problem. This was however a nightmare to tag which is why I just went the "choose not to use archive warnings/fuck around and find out" route, because if I tagged everything it would be WAY too long.

Anyways. "What if the player was an outer god." I post about it a lot in a comedic tone over here. I wrote it as self indulgent porn somewhere else. But I really wanted to take it in a more... realistic? Direction I guess? What if things weren't automatically fine and ok because the story demanded it. What if it was in fact an incredibly distressing situation to be in. I don't like writing monsters are villains (not my vibe) but that does not mean the monster loving you & having good intentions should always be an instant smooth sailing. Which really means that Guda will be stuck in intrusive thoughts central for nearly 6k.

Now for a more specific play by play of the fic:

The problem with writing the POV character being possessed is that it is incredibly hard to showcase when "this is something normal from the character" vs "this is someone else speaking through the character" (doubly so when the character themself does not realize the possession is happening) So I was at times less than subtle about it. In case it wasn't clear, this is the player being worried about Guda, and Guda misinterpreting the feeling because "this is someone else's thought" is not typically the first conclusion people would draw. Anytime in the fic where you see Guda having conflicting emotions, or being confused about their own feelings, that was a case of player feelings interfering with their owns.

Outer gods are basically eldritch gods in Fate lore. As such I don't think they really have like. A body the way humans consider it. That's why the fics have various instances of weird fascination towards flesh and how it functions. From the perspective of a god, it'd be like suddenly figuring out how an ancient watch works.

When you're being possessed by someone who is 1) incredibly not fucking normal about your bestie and 2) does not know the difference between intimacy love and violence. Bottom text.

Also a lot of people initially assumed that I picked Castoria in this specific scenario because I, too, am not normal about her. And I mean. That is partially true (tho not to that extent lmao) but also Castoria IS canonically one of the closest people to Guda (& the most likely to realize that something is wrong.) It's not just "I'm having horrible thoughts about some random aquaintances" it's "I love this person with all my heart and I want to give them the world, but I can't even give myself to them because my existence is poison." So double the agony.

This was inspired by one specific scene from Mairimashita!Iruma-Kun, available on mangadex and probably crunchyroll please for the love of god read that manga it fucks SO hard.

When you're an Outer God with only a very vague knowledge of humans and what they look like so instead of focusing on eye color or haircuts you're just fascinated by the fact that this lil one has thirty-two teeth. Bottom text.

This whole section is meant to be "all the times Guda died before the player rebooted the games," so I picked all the hardest boss fights I could think of. There's someone in the comments who asked me months ago if they should pick up a guide for the Cernunnos fight because I brought it up like five times in that paragraph alone. My guy if you are following my blog, yes, you should. You really fucking should.

Also I use second person a lot when writing Guda fic because it's easier (they/them can be confusing when you're writing multiple characters in one setting) but ofc for this fic this also gave me the opportunity to write some moments where the player is directly talking to Guda (or at Guda, rather.)

I wanted to show that while the player was at their most Not Normal about Castoria, they do love everyone in Chaldea, which is why Guda is being more affectionate than usual here.

I'm just really proud of "You imagine lapping at her open wounds, lapping at her wet cunt." Intimacy and violence but also holes and fluids you know how it is.

My bitch Guda who wouldn't wish to bother others & show any weakness if they had a gun to their head.

Christ I can't summarize MHXX's lore concisely, but she is repeatedly compared to a character from a sitcom, hence why her first comparison is to tv shows.

This is meant to be a call-back to that bit earlier where they wonder how hard they'd have to bite to make Castoria bleed.

To lb6 players out there: I was thinking of Gareth writing this line.

I don't remember if I told you, but Castoria has Fairy Eyes, ie is capable of perceiving lies (tho the exact mechanics are unclear.) That's why Guda is being extra stubborn. They can't deny that they're fine because she'll know it's false, so they're trying to dodge the entire conversation.

My bitch Guda who is taking the entire situation soooo well (casually deshumanize themself & considers being dead in the same sentence)

[Castoria voice] why don't you get into bdsm and then maybe you'll feel better.

Anyways, that was blorbo from my game having the worst life of their life! I think I could have done worse, and will endeavor to do so soon. Still damn proud of it tho!