Leave out all the rest - Charles Xavier smut
The one where the reader is depressed and Charles is desperate to help.
Warnings: depressive and suicidal thoughts, angst, smut
WC: 7K
Y/N’s P.O.V.
“What the hell are you doing?” His voice reached me as I looked down from my window, barely balancing on the border. I froze, instantly knowing what he would think, but that made me almost fall over. As I screamed, he ran towards me, grabbing my forearms and pulling me inside the room once again.
I was shaking as I clinged to him for dear life. Such a weird feeling, suddenly reminding me that despite what my brain thought, my body still refrained from the idea of me actually dying. As the shaking started to fade, I noticed three things. First, I was crying. Second, Charles was actually holding me to his chest, effectively keeping my weight off the floor and on him. Third, he was eerily quiet and, raising my head to look at him, I realized his eyes weren’t focused on me, but on the wall in front of us.
His jaw was so tight-locked I was afraid he could break it and so I raised my hand to touch it, leaving it there. That caught his attention. He looked at me, but only briefly, before taking us to the edge of my bed, where he sat with me still on his lap. I moved to sit next to him and relieve him of my weight, but his hold on me tightened. “Stay,” he ordered more than asked, but I couldn’t find it in me to question or to disobey. So I simply waited for him, feeling tiny and scared, looking at the man I loved staring into a wall so forcefully I honestly wondered how it still hadn’t crumbled.
His soft curls were messy and dancing in front of his eyes and so when I decided to push them behind his ears, his eyes connected with mine for a second and I understood, before any tears started to roll down his cheeks. “Charles,” I started, but that apparently only worsened his pain, his sobs coming in such force that I trembled in his chest, overcome with the need to calm him. “Charles,” I insisted and when that still didn’t work, I decided to simply hug him closer to me, hiding my face on his neck, breathing him in and acknowledging he was like the jewel that I didn’t deserve to keep.
After what felt like forever, he finally started to calm down, his tears rolling more slowly, but still his grip on me didn’t soften. “You can’t leave me,” he suddenly spoke, startling me.
“What?” I questioned, worried I had misheard him.
“You can’t leave me,” he repeated, this time looking at me dead in the eye. What I saw there took the air straight out of my lungs. So much fear and anxiety, he was absolutely terrified of the prospect of something happening to me. Once again, I was burdened with the knowledge that my existence was the reason for this, that I was why he was suffering so much. I sighed, resting my head once again on his shoulder, while my arms wrapped around him, one of my hands going to play with his curls. “I won’t,” I promised quietly. It was the least I could do.
He was surprised by my words, that much was obvious. After months of him pestering me about my depression, it was the first time I actually vowed to stay, despite the fact he had tried many times before to obtain my words on that matter. He detached himself from me, pushing me away just enough so that he could see my face and I found myself missing his warmth against my skin.
His eyes searched mine for any traces of insincerity on my words and my heart was filled with love for the man underneath me, who could so easily read my intentions but still accepted to stay in the dark for me, for my privacy. I captured one of his hands with mine and took it to my temple, nodding to him, giving him permission to verify what I was saying. After a moment of hesitation, he closed his eyes and let my thoughts take in.
I watched as he listened to my inner ramblings, knowing that after this, everything would change. He would know my secret, the one I had managed to keep safe and hidden for the last three months, ever since he found me in my room with my depressive thoughts, for the first time. This would change our relationship forever, I realized, but I couldn’t keep myself nor my feelings hidden from him anymore. Not when they were hurting him like this.
His eyes remained closed as he listened, his lips pursed and his brows furrowed, until… He opened them quickly, looking at me once again and I could see he was trying to verify once more if I was lying, but before I could open my mouth to explain myself to him… His lips found mine. And I melted, not quite believing this turn of events.
Why would he kiss me? Did he actually feel the same for me? A thousand thoughts ran through my head as his lips danced with mine, until he actually chuckled against me, separating just enough to speak. “I love you. I am in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you since the moment you walked into my life. Please, just… kiss me,” he begged and I didn’t think twice before obeying it.
His lips tasted like mint tea and I found myself drowning in his taste, eager for more. I pulled him by the collar of his shirt, hating whatever fraction of air separated us. His tongue asked for permission to enter my mouth and I happily obliged, deepening our kiss, feeling as if he was becoming a part of me, fulfilling me.
Suddenly, I heard a growl from behind me. Quickly detaching myself from Charles, I noticed Logan by the threshold of my room, staring at the man in whose lap I sat like he wanted to kill him. “Logan?” I asked, confused to see his reaction. His eyes met mine for just a second, before he simply turned around and walked away from us. “Logan!” I shouted, getting out of Charle’s lap to pursue my best friend, but a tight grip on my wrist stopped me from getting away from the bed.
“Let him go,” Charles asked softly, his eyes silently begging me to understand. “He won’t hear you right now,” he explained, and I nodded absentmindedly, still worried about Logan’s behavior.
Charles’ P.O.V.
She looked so lost, still staring at the open door, where Logan had stood just a few minutes before. “I just... don’t understand…” she whispered, so softly I could barely hear her. I chuckled, pulling her to my lap once more, revelling in the fact that I finally had her, I could finally kiss her.
“You’re probably the only person in this entire school who was oblivious to the fact that both me and Logan are head over heels in love with you,” I explained, chuckling once more as her head whipped quickly to stare me in the eyes.
“What?” she asked, her eyes bigger than I had ever seen before. I hadn’t seen any allusion in her mind to this fact that everyone else seemed to notice, so I figured she didn’t know, but I was still surprised to see how utterly ignorant of her own beauty and attractiveness she was.
I shrugged, playing with her curls as she looked at me expectantly. “He loves you. And so do I. I guess I just had better luck,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood, but she opened her mouth a few times before turning around to stare at the door once more.
“I think I should go after him,” she pondered, but I hugged her to me.
“No, wait a bit. Give him some time. You know Logan and you know how he gets when he’s angry. He’ll lash out and he’ll do something he regrets. Let him come to terms with this,” I tried to convince her and despite the nod she gave me, her bottom lip that was stuck between her teeth let me know she was still worried about it.
I sighed. “I’m sorry, love. I truly am. I knew about his feelings, I just never thought… this would happen. I should have closed the door on my way in, I was just so scared of losing you,” I mumbled against the skin of her shoulders, until I heard her sigh and turn to me once more.
“It’s not your fault, Charles. But… we do need to talk,” she quickly added, avoiding my eyes and moving to stand in front of me. My heartbeat picked up and I almost forgot about what I had seen in her mind, fearful she wouldn’t want to be with me. Before I could jump to any conclusions she stopped her pacing and knelt in front of me, picking my hands in hers. “I… I’m happy that we’ve kissed. I’m so happy. And I’m happy that you feel the same way I do, but you know that doesn’t erase my disease, right? I… I will need some time to heal, to get better, to be the person you deserve to have by your side.”
I immediately understood the implications of what she was asking me. Of course I knew I couldn’t solve her problems with a simple kiss, but I was hoping she would let me in, she would let me be by her side as she fought against this. “Can’t I… Can’t I help?” I tried, already knowing I wouldn’t be able to convince her otherwise. At least the smile she gave me was as precious as herself and helped with the pain of knowing I wouldn’t be able to have her all to myself right now.
“You have already helped me, Charles. You gave me a reason to be here. And believe me, it has been a long time since I last wanted to live. But now you gotta let me figure this out on my own. Can you do that for me… for us?” She bit her lip again and of course I would. I’d do anything for her.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
“But there’s something I’d like from you, if I may,” Charles hesitated before asking. “I know you promised me you wouldn’t and I swear I’m not doing this to speed things up between us. I respect your wishes and if anything, I’m just trying to make my own life more difficult.” He rolled his eyes as he pushed the hair out of his face, not quite looking me in the eye.
“I saw in your mind that you didn’t mean to jump. But I also saw how being here, in this room, with this window looking out to the gardens, makes it difficult for you to control yourself. I know you will respect your own words, but I don’t want you to suffer any more than you already do…”
I nodded, simply because I honestly understood where he was coming from. I just didn’t understand what other option he envisioned for me, since the only bedroom on the floor of the house was… Oh.
“You want me to move into your bedroom,” I acknowledged, hoping to put him out of his misery by not having to actually say the words. He nodded, sheepishly smiling at me, one of his hands scratching the back of his neck.
I sighed, closing my eyes for a bit to focus better on the situation at hand. It wasn’t that easy with his blue eyes staring right at me, piercing my soul.
I knew he had a point and I had to acknowledge that it would make a huge difference for me to not have to deal with the height situation everytime I locked myself in my room. And I had also promised I would do whatever it took to get better. So my decision was pretty easy.
“Okay,” I agreed, opening my eyes again to find Charles’ looking directly at mine, his mouth slightly ajar, almost as if he had not believed I would actually accept his request.
“Great!” Jumping up from my bed, he wiped his hands on his trousers, already moving towards the door of my room. “Let’s get Hank, Scott and whoever else we can find over here, so we can make the change.” Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks, almost bumping into me.
“Excuse me, love.” He caressed my cheek, the tiniest crooked smile revealing that he thought the situation was amusing. “I should warn you, though, most of my important books and scientific objects are in my room and since I think it would take too much time to make the full transition I will only be taking my clothes, so it is likely I will have to enter your bedroom a few times during the day, to grab whatever I might need.”
I blinked twice, not completely understanding what he was saying until suddenly it clicked.
“You’re not going to stay with me?” I knew I was frowning so hard my eyebrows were close to breaking free from my face, but that was nothing compared to Charles’ expression.
“What do you mean? Of course not, I meant we would exchange rooms! Oh my, please don’t think I was trying to make a move on you through that…” His cheeks were burning up, he looked so lost I felt sorry for him. But I was more preoccupied with my own thoughts at that moment.
“But that would make my life so much easier,” I admitted, looking expectantly at him, who in turn, looked as confused as I had been three seconds before. “If I were to stay with you… I know it’s not optimal and we would be sharing a bed, but having you around me… It would help me so much, Charles.” I huffed, feeling uncomfortable from the admission.
“It’s just… having you around... more than I already do, I mean. It helps with the thoughts, you know? It helps… It reminds me of why I should stay. Why I want to stay.” I finished explaining, fiddling with my fingers as I couldn’t deal with his perfect blue eyes at that moment.
I felt inadequate. Charles was a genius and here I was, a shell of a woman, broken by my own stupid thoughts who reminded me constantly of how I wasn’t worth anything, not even being here, much less with him.
“Hey,” cold fingers interrupted my guilt as he gently pulled me by my chin to look him in the eyes. “You have no idea how happy that makes me feel. To know that I have the ability to help you like this. Thank you for trusting me.”
His blue eyes sparkled brighter than any star I had ever seen and I found myself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Our lips connected once more, surprising me as I felt the sweetness with which he kissed me, because I don’t think I had rationally decided to kiss him again. My body, or my soul even, was the one to make that decision for me.
He kissed me like we had all the time in the world to explore each other and I found myself wishing that it was true. One of his hands was spread against my back, keeping me closely pressed against him, while the other still caressed my jaw. We pulled apart to catch our breaths briefly before I pulled him down to me once more, feeling as if the only way I could feel oxygen coming into my lungs was when our lips were connected. I traced the edge of his mouth with my tongue, desperate to taste him and with a slight tremble, he finally allowed me in.
And then he devoured me, easily taking control of not only our kiss, but also of my excitable body. As his lips moved with mine, his tongue exploring my mouth, I forgot how it felt to not belong. Because as he kissed me, it seemed like I did. I belonged. Here, with him.
“Yes, you do,” he whispered against my lips as we finally separated. It only then occurred to me that he could still hear my thoughts. “I’m sorry, it’s hard to tap out now that I’ve been in, especially since I feel so connected to you.”
I nodded, caressing his jaw as I looked deep into his eyes.
“It’s okay. It’s… comforting,” I admitted. His eyes softened as he stared back at me, his shoulder relaxing at the realization he wouldn’t have to force himself out of my head anymore. I could only imagine how hard it must be for him, to try to become deaf to a singled-out voice, especially one you wished to hear so badly.
“I love you,” he breathed out, closing his eyes as he connected our foreheads. His hands held mine securely, his fingers caressing my knuckles and I enjoyed this moment of peace I seemed to have been able to grant him.
“I love you,” I finally admitted out loud, causing him to open his eyes quickly, a large smile taking over his face as he found me smiling softly at him.
Charles’ P.O.V.
After I left Y/N to pack her stuff for the moving process, I allowed my mind to reach out to see if I could track Logan’s whereabouts. I had blocked him from my day-to-day life a long time ago, not only since he constantly threatened me if I didn’t do so, but also because his mind was incredibly tiring.
I was in a constant state of admiration for the man’s survival instincts. He had been through so much and still battled with his own mind daily. Despite his admittedly angry demeanor, he persisted. And if I could say so myself, he was actually much nicer than I expected someone with his sort of troubling thoughts to be.
I noticed he was in the garage and I thought about at least verifying what type of mood he was in, but refrained from it. It wouldn’t help my cause if I arrived already knowing too much about his mental state.
So I prepared myself for the worst as I joined him in the dark room where he kept his bike.
“Logan,” I called out to him, but kept my voice at a regular level. He’d be able to hear me, with his enhanced instincts. And he did, that much was obvious by the way he abruptly stopped messing with his bike and froze in his spot at the sound of my voice.
However, he didn’t turn around to face me and after a few seconds, resumed his previous activity like nothing had happened.
“Logan,” I called out again, and this time, no reaction let me know he had heard me. But I knew he had. “C’mon, Logan, we have to talk about this.”
That might have been the wrong thing to say. He suddenly turned around, facing me with a fire in his eyes I recognized from when we were out in the field, but I’d never had it dedicated to me.
“Talk about it? You want to talk about it? Okay, Professor, let’s talk.” The sarcasm with which he had enunciated my title was not lost to me. “What do you have to say to me? What could possibly lessen the pain of seeing the woman I love kissing you?”
I didn’t have anything to offer to him, so I remained quiet. The truth was, I had come here simply because I owed it to Y/N not to destroy her relationship with Logan, but I didn’t have any sort of speech prepared.
“Thought so,” he mumbled, turning back to his vehicle and leaving me behind.
“Logan, I… Listen.” He didn’t turn around to face me again, but I knew he was listening despite his lack of signs of attention. “I just don’t want you to do something you might regret. I know you love her, and so you don’t want to see her hurt. But the truth is, I have a girl upstairs who is already miserable and you’re only making it worse.” I took some time to breathe before continuing.
“I know it’s not in the way you hoped for, but she does love you. And she needs you in her life. So take some time to deal with your emotions, but please, I’m begging you… Do not abandon Y/N. She deserves better than that, and the truth is, you do too. The bond you share is special. Don’t let it go to waste.”
I had said what I needed to say, and so I left him to his own devices so he could mull over what I’d shared. There was no need for him to provide me with some sort of answer now.
My feet took me where I wanted to go despite the fact that I hadn’t made any conscious decision about it. I suppose my mind followed the brightness that I had come to associate with Y/N, even if I wasn’t trying to listen to her thoughts.
I found her in my bedroom. Well, I suppose it was her bedroom too, now.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I felt like I was being watched, so I turned around to find Charles looking at me with a goofy grin in his face that caused me to instantly mirror it.
“What?” I had to ask, because as much as his happiness made me happy, it felt like he was excited about one specific reason and I was curious about it.
“Nothing. I’m just… I never thought I’d see you in my room like this.” He approached me with that boyish smile I had never associated with Charles before and hugged me to his chest, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. The height difference made him pretty much lean over me, but it was cute.
“You like it?” I had to ask, my insecurity as always getting the best of me. He pulled away from his hiding place to be able to look me in the eyes.
“I love it.” I could see the sincerity in them. I trusted him with my life.
“I’m glad, because I could definitely get used to this.” The way his face lit up had me giggling up at him.
“Really?” He asked, his big palms caressing my back as if he needed the reassurance that I was real, that I was really there.
“Yes, really. How could I not? There’s books and antiques and it smells just like you. I feel…” I hesitated for a bit, not sure if I wanted to disclose this so soon. But then he pressed his fingers more tightly against my skin, reminding me that he was here, that I could trust him, and I took a deep breath before looking in his eyes again, my hands coming up to play with the curls in the back of his neck. “I feel at home,” I confessed, all in one single breath. Once again, my reward came in the huge grin that split his face into two. He pulled me into my tiptoes so he could press a quick kiss on my lips, and I tried to ignore how cold they felt when his weren’t touching mine anymore. This was what I wanted, and he was giving me the space I asked for.
I’d have to keep reminding myself that throughout the days.
“So, where were you?” I asked, making idle chit chat as I pulled away from him to continue folding my clothes. When he didn’t immediately offer me a response, I looked up to see him looking at me with guilt written all over his face. “Charles!” I exclaimed, dropping what I was holding. “Please tell me you didn’t!”
Charles’ P.O.V.
I couldn’t. I knew precisely what she was referring to and didn’t even need to read her mind.
“I’m sorry, love…” Nervously, I scratched the back of my neck as she came to stand before me, her hands on her hips. I guess I was expecting her to be mad, but when she instead dropped her arms and sighed, I realized that wasn’t the worst outcome. That would be this one: the disappointment and regret in her features. She didn’t look up, opting instead to fiddle with the edge of her shirt, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“He hates me.” The words were said with such pain that I felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been dropped over me. Immediately, I reached out to her, sighing in relief when she accepted my embrace.
“No, he doesn’t.” It was the truth. She knew it, and she knew why it was - the very reason why she was scared he’d start to hate her now that she’d chosen to be with me. “He loves you.” The words floated around us as she struggled to come to terms with them, still. “He still does. There’s no switch you can flip that’ll make him instantly hate you. But this also means that he needs time, time to learn how to see you in a different light. Okay?”
For a minute, she didn’t say anything, opting to let me guide her in the gentle sway I’d been performing since my arms wrapped around her. At last, she whispered a tiny “okay”, and even though her voice was muffled by the fabric of my shirt, where she’d been pressed against, I believed her. I had to.
Logan’s P.O.V.
Watching her those next months was… difficult.
Difficult because if she was an addiction, I took the worst route to cure myself of it. I went from seeing her and talking to her everyday, being dependent on that socialization, to cutting myself from her life completely.
Difficult because despite not talking to her since the day I found her kissing Charles, I still had to see her - we lived and worked in the same place, after all. Despite all the effort I put in changing my schedule and trying to make sure I wouldn’t be in the same room as her, there still were the inevitable meetings and dinners and parties when I had to watch the woman I loved from afar.
And above all, difficult because what I came to observe during those obligatory reunions was something that I had been waiting and wishing for all along, and it killed me that I hadn’t been by her side to help her with: her recovery.
Each time our eyes met, hers were a little bit brighter, softer, even lighter. Like the darkness that was consuming her was steadily being swallowed by her actual personality, which behaved much like a sun: warming her from the inside.
That meant her skin became more colorful, at least in the sense that it didn’t hold that paleness that made it look like she was fragile. It was harder to see her blood vessels now, and I didn’t miss the time they stood out across the room in one bit. She blushed now, and every time it happened when he was around, he felt it like a pang in his heart. Just when I thought she couldn’t be more adorable. Her hair was also brighter, lighter, shinier in general. She didn’t just chuckle now, she laughed. Initially, it was rare and low, but eventually it started to happen more frequently, to the point where I could figure out where she was simply by following the sound of her giggles.
In short, she was happy. Happier than I’d ever seen her, and it killed me to not be able to witness this new side of her, this whole part of her personality that had been kept away when she was sick. Could I even consider that I still knew her? Which was the true her, the depressive one I met or this young girl full of light and happiness? I knew the answer was dependent on both of them, but it left me with the realization that I knew less of her than I wish I did.
And it was all my fault.
It was my fault for falling in love with her when she’d never even showed any signs of feeling the same. Stupid old Logan, You’ve been alone for too long. All it took was someone who cared too much, despite their broken state, and you let them in. You let her in.
She didn’t owe me anything.
And I knew that. But I fooled myself into believing her lack of interest was a result of her situation, so I did what I could to help, in hopes that once she got better, I would have my chance.
Selfish.
That’s what I was.
I’d never thought of myself as someone who was particularly manipulative, hell, I was no Erik, but maybe I was. Because it was also my fault that I wasn’t there to witness her recovery. I’d pushed her away, failed on the simple task I’d promised I would help.
I hadn’t been a good friend.
I had been no sort of friend at all.
So that’s why when her eyes caught mine again in the middle of the party we were throwing for someone’s birthday - I could never bother to pay attention to those sort of details -, I gestured towards the stairs, hoping she’d meet me there.
And sure enough, she came.
I could slap myself for how temptatively she approached me. Not only was it weird in the context of our friendship, it was very obviously out of place in her manners. Y/N was always confident in her approach to people - it was one of the reasons why I warmed up to her so quickly, one of the reasons I fell in love with her.
Still, despite her obvious apprehension, she approached me and found a place for herself by my side. At first, I didn’t say anything, opting to stare down at my hands as I tried to come up with a better way to say this, hoping my words could somehow erase the pain I knew I had put her through, but then I felt her warm hand over my thigh and my head immediately whipped up to find her staring at me with a soft look on her face and a small smile.
“I missed you,” she said, and just like that, I knew we were fine. I let out a relieved breath that I felt like I had been holding for forever, once again thankful for our connection. Even if it didn’t evolve in the way I expected it to, it did allow us to communicate with fewer words, which throughout all of my life posed as a nuisance to everyone who had to deal with me - but not to her.
No. Just three words and I knew what she meant, just like my invitation for her to follow me to the stairs told her everything she needed to know about how I was feeling. And for once, everything felt alright, including me.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
When I followed Charles back to our room that night, I felt like a different person altogether. Not only could I decidedly say that my depression wasn’t a concerning issue anymore, I felt like I was finally free to introduce the new me, the person I had become after going through such a rough patch for so long.
Of course, it wasn’t like I was a different person altogether. But I had been through enough depressive patches to know that everytime I got out of one, I was a little less of the person I had been before and a little more of someone new. And now that the only issue that still weighed me down had been settled, I was really excited to get to know this new part of my personality. I was excited to do things again, to talk to people and see what I had missed while stuck in my darkened mind. I was excited to be excited about stuff once more.
Most of all, I was excited about starting this new path in life with someone I truly loved by my side. And said person was looking at me with sweet, caring eyes when I stepped further into the bedroom, in desperate need of a hug.
“You guys spoke!” He whispered. I supposed he didn’t want to break the silent and peaceful atmosphere of our bedroom, but still, the excitement in his voice was palpable. It made me smile instantly. I didn’t have the words to describe how it felt to have someone by my side who supported me so much, even in a subject that brought him discomfort.
Charles had every right to avoid the subject, or even to feel scared or tense about me and Logan starting to talk again, but I could see it in his eyes - all he felt was happiness for me and his friend.
It probably helped that he could see in my mind how I only had eyes for him.
Still, gratefulness overflowed my heart, prompting me to stand on my tiptoes as I pulled him by the collar of his shirt until I could reach his lips. “Thank you for being here for me all this time,” I whispered against his mouth, as he struggled between wanting to say something and the desire to correspond the kisses I was now laying on his jaw.
“Anytime, my love.” His hands ran down my arms until they were holding mine against his face, and he could position me to steal another kiss. “I’ll be here as long as you want me.” The dorkiest smile appeared on my lips as my eyes looked into his blue ones.
“Forever?” I asked, and Charles opened up a smile at my promise, nodding as best as he could as I still cradled his head.
“Forever,” he repeated, sealing our vow with a kiss. This time I followed my heart and deepened it, slowly nibbling on his bottom lip until he allowed me to taste him fully. We’d never kissed like this before. Charles was too worried to overstep my boundaries, and I despite how badly I desired him, there was a reason I had instated them.
But now the reason was gone. And there was nothing else that could distract me from the fire rising inside of me, threatening to burn me whole.
“Charles…” I whimpered against his lips as he tried to separate us, pulling him to me again. “Please, I want you.” My words made him freeze. His eyes travelled between mine, looking for any sign of hesitancy or any sort of reason why he shouldn’t.
When he found none, he still didn’t immediately sweep me off my feet and took me to bed, like I wanted. Instead, he held me in his arms, his hands on my lower back as his thumbs drew soft circles over the fabric of my dress.
“Are you sure, my love?” If I wasn’t before, the fact that he had taken the time to make sure this was what I wanted would have solidified my decision. But as it were, my mind had been made up long before we even stepped inside our bedroom.
This was a long time coming, and I was glad it was here now.
“Yes, Charles. Please, make love to me.” That was all he needed to hear. Slowly, he walked me back until my knees reached the bed, and I went blindly, too busy with the intoxicating taste of his favorite peppermint tea as he started his possession by kissing me hungrily. I’d follow him anywhere with a sane conscience, but while drunk on him? I’d jump off a cliff if he asked me to. “Lay down for me, pretty girl.”
The way he looked at me, through lust glazed eyes as I laid spread out on the bed, was enough to get my heart beating out of my chest. God, I wanted him. “Charles…” I whined, reaching out for him, which made him smile.
“I’m right here, darling. I’m right here.” He climbed on the bed, in the space between my legs, until he could hold my face with his cold hands again. “I love you so much.” My heart jumped at hearing these words again. He made me feel so giddy, it was hard to feel anxious about what we were about to do when I literally felt the desire running through my veins.
“I love you too, Charles.” He kissed me again, then, his hands warming up the longer they secured my cheeks, and I melted against the bed and his body, my own hands coming behind him to find a way to push inside his shirt.
He moaned against my mouth at the feeling of my nails carefully dragging over the skin of his back, and he had to pull away from our kiss to catch his breath. I watched him with barely concealed desire, in desperate need to feel his body on top of mine again, but he seemed to understand it.
In a few seconds, he was over me again, his lips on mine as our hands finally explored each other’s bodies as they saw fit. A shirt found its way to the floor, followed by a dress, until only our underwear stood in the way between our wishes.
“You’re so beautiful, my love.” Just the way he looked at me was enough to make me shiver. I could barely imagine what it would feel like to have him actively working on giving me pleasure.
“So are you,” I reminded him, giggling when I saw the blush spreading over his cheeks. “And you’re cute.” He rolled his eyes then, leaning over me to give me a quick kiss before slowly bringing his lips down to brush over my collarbones.
“Can I take this off?” He asked, drawing over the edge of my bra with a single finger. It slightly trembled, denouncing just how nervous he was to be taking this next step with me, and it only made my heart warmer for him.
“Please,” I quietly begged, and the smile he gave me was enough to have butterflies threatening to take flight from my belly. Albeit a bit awkwardly, he managed to fit his hand between my back and the mattress, just enough to be able to pluck that one other piece of clothing off of me, and then he was *staring.
“Charles!” I whined, automatically trying to hide my breasts from him, but he only raised one eyebrow in that characteristically aristocratic expression of his, before asking, “Aren't you mine, darling? Don’t I have a right to see what you’ve been hiding under those dresses all this time?”
Charles’ P.O.V.
She looked so adoringly embarrassed by my prying gaze, but I couldn’t help it. Not when she was this beautiful, an angel brought down to Earth solely to teach me how to love. It was an honor to be loved by such a perfect creature, but I still struggled to remember that this was real, sometimes. Particularly in a moment such as this, that I had dreamed about for so long.
Seeing as she still avoided my gaze, teasingly biting that delicious bottom lip that I wanted to lick so much, I leaned back over her, capturing her mouth with mine once more. Slowly, because we had all the time in the world, I pried her lips open to welcome my tongue, and then, when she melted against the mattress, relaxing her arms that quickly occupied themselves by embracing my body, I allowed myself to pull away, but never stopped tracing her skin with my lips, torturously making my way down, first nibbling on her jaw before stopping to suck a few marks on her neck, before finally meeting her breasts.
“God, you’re perfect,” I whispered, just before I wrapped a nipple with my mouth, lathering it with my saliva and attention before sucking. It provoked a sensuous reaction in her, who gasped and buried one of her hands on my curls, softly pulling on them but not actually prying me from her.
“Charles,” she moaned, and it made me falter, my knees buckling and almost making me fall on top of her. I’d never heard my name sound like that before, so sweet, and I instantly knew I never wanted to hear it uttered by any other lips.
“Darling,” I moaned myself, still otherwise occupied with sucking tiny little lovebites on the soft flesh of her breasts. “The way you moan my name… It’s breathtaking. Do it again,” I begged, raising my head just enough to meet her eyes, finding that a lust-filled haze had settled over them, leaving her pupils blown wide. “Please.”
Something in my desperate tone or hungry eyes called out to her, earning me another melodic moan of my name. That was all that I needed to hear before I fused our lips once more, absentmindedly rutting against the mattress as I relished in her sweet taste.
“You’re such a good kisser,” she whispered after we parted, making me chuckle. “But now I need you inside of me, like, yesterday.” My chuckles became roars of laughter, and she joined me in that demonstration of excitement and happiness that was proof that this was so much more than just lust.
This was love, pure and unadulterated. And I’d never experienced anything like it before.
“Okay,” I conceded, grabbing my cock and taking in the sight of her, spread out and open, willing and wanting, all for me. “You ready?” She nodded, legs parting even further in an open invitation.
“Please,” she begged quietly, and I couldn’t resist it any longer. Leaning over to kiss her forehead, I inserted myself inside of her slowly, carefully, paying attention to all of her reactions and sounds.
“Don’t worry,” I whispered as she groaned a little bit in pain from the adjustment. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll always take care of you.” And we both knew that I would. “Let me show you how much I desire you.”
We came together that night, and all I could think to say before falling asleep was, “I love you.”
Much to my luck, she loved me too.
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