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Phic Phight - Ravens Raid the Restrained: Casper High Students Uncover Super Soldier Ghost Hybrid Plot Using A God’

For: Akela @idiot-cheesehead-archenemy @asjjohnson @catmiint @going-dead @currentlylurking @lwh-writing

School projects lead to destruction of government property and apparently making a man’s career. That’s totally normal right? And totally not Mr. Lancer’s fault right? (Hint: it’s not and it is).

Anyway, the weirdo trio and the A-listers have to do a project together, things, somehow, devolve from there into what definitely qualifies as crimes. All for the sake of an easy(ish) A and maybe some extra credit if they ask nicely.

thealiveone - Danny Shade - Sam PDAxpda - Tucker Footballking - Dash Phantomsphine - Paulina Kwanbomb - Kwan Starfire - Star YourMaster - Vlad

Danny rubs his forehead with feeling, his fingers making little wrinkles in the skin, “okay okay, this is absolute ass but if I fail this class then I really will be cooked, in the bad way”.

Tucker pointing lazily at him, “not literally though”. Making Danny snort, “if a goddamn media communication project or class somehow results in me being literally cooked then I’d have some concerning, though impressed, questions”.

“True dat, true dat”.

Danny makes a disgusted face at the techno geek before shaking his head, glaring down at his phone, groaning loudly, and finally hitting ‘join’ on the chat invitation.

—thealiveone has joined the chat—

Footballking: oh look what loser decided to show up and squat up

Footballking: bitch

thealiveone: I ain’t squatting shit

thealiveone: unless that squat is actually a tbag on your face

Footballking: as if you could ever you noodle limbed twink

thealiveone: I will kill you and cannibalism your ghost

Phantomsphine: as much as I love taking cheapshots on the, like, lower class

Phantomsphine: this is, like, mildlyish important

Phantomsphine: not like any of this is any use of my time

thealiveone: fuckstick you think this is wroth my time either?

thealiveone: I could be sleeping

thealiveone: or eating shoes

thealiveone: or making out woth a ten foot wall

thealiveone: or being chokedout

Phantomsphine: oh shut up and let the proper people speak

thealiveone: fuck you in particular and with extra mayo

Starfire: ew

Starfire: paulies right though

Starfire: we should at least kinda try

Danny blinks, “holy shit, fuck me in the eye with a Kayak, it sounds like they might actually try and not utterly tank this”. Tucker whistling, “damn Daniel”. Danny immediately smacks him over the head for that hard enough to smack Tucker’s head into his pda. Tucker crying and caressing the device, “SANDRA! NO!”.

Kwanbomb: offences or not Fenton’s the one to worry about there

thealiveone: hey

thealiveone: offence not taken because fair

thealiveone: But I need to pass this crap too dick

Shade: he cares

Shade: it’s a miracle

thealiveone: I will not hesitate to kill you too

Shade: 🥾

thealiveone: Mmmm mommy I am now a bootlicker

thealiveone: Slurp slurp

Shade:…

Shade: never say that again

Shade: 🤢

thealiveone: never back down never wha

Shade: stop breathing immediately

thealiveone: mmm’kay

Starfire: sigh 🤦🏼‍♀️

Starfire: anyway

Starfire: project

Kwanbomb: you know I legit forgot Fenton was awful in group chats

Footballking: awful at life you mean

thealiveone: Hardyharhar

thealiveone: Jello

Footballking: what

thealiveone: so obvi obvi we’re doing this shit on bald and his ass of a time actually being in public and not cling off as insane

thealiveone: Vlad

thealiveone: the v-man

thealiveone: old crunchy man vladdie

Shade: I don’t think Vlad qualifies as a crunch mom Danny

Shade: he drinks way too much for that

thealiveone: I try

Footballking: if I was related to you I’d drink cry too turd

Footballking: but sure whatever

Footballking: a chance to mock someone other than fentoenail

Danny smirking, “I have succeeded in acquiring Vlad bullying conspirators”. Tucker just glares at him, clearly still pissed at him for maybe denting his precious pda.

Kwanbomb: on what though

Kwanbomb: him having to release public paper things about that time he tried to control weather god?

Kwanbomb: or the one about him mowing down trees?

Kwanbomb: or that sorry letter to support nasty burger?

Phantomsphine: hes made tons on Phantom right

thealiveone: Groan

Starfire: paulie…

Starfire: lancers given you two strikes already for extra Phantom talk

Phantomsphine: 😤

thealiveone: fuckin really????

thealiveone: AHAHAHHAHGAHGAHGA

thealiveone: suckstoayck

thealiveone: *suckstosuck

thealiveone: but by the ancients sweet zone no I do not need ocular trauma today

thealiveone: or repeated ocular truama in the nearish futur

thealiveone: could do it on his public addmission of voter mind controll

thealiveone: or how he handled his *ahem* ‘leaked’ nudes

thealiveone: or his sordid love affair with a vulture ghost

Kwanbomb: theres no way that happened

thealiveone: I mean

thealiveone: have you seen those vulture ‘pets’ of his 🫣 questioanble

Shade: danny

Shade: ah it up

Shade: vlads gonna beat you if you try to actually convince people of that

PDAxpda: yes Danny play with fire

PDAxpda: harpy fucker

thealiveone: 😧

Footballking: what the zone is techno geek doing here ew

Danny shakes his head, eyeing Tuck, “really?”. Tucker flips him off of course. Sure he ‘knows’ that Tuck’s not in this class with him, since Tuck was actually good and cared when it came to the whole school bullshit; but, heh, Tuck hated being left out.

Phantomsphine: ew ew ew ew ew ew

Footballking: and like the technophile has any place to speak

thealiveone: that’s a real big word there dashi

Starfire: and wait what thw heck do you mean VOTER MIND CONTROL

thealiveone: AM I THE ONLY OEN WHO READ THAT DAMN THING WVEEYONE ALWAYS REACTS LIKE THAT WHEN I BRING IT UP DO YOU PEOPLE NOT CARE ABOUT KEEPING OURWVIL EVIL EVIL MAYOR IN MILD CHECK

Shade: chill your tits

thealiveone: HOLY SHIT

PDAXpda: dude you only read it for blackmail material

thealiveone: STILL

Starfire: so, like, what?

Starfire: he just posted a public stament about mindcontrolling his way into power?

Kwanbomb: you know

Kwanbomb: maybe everyone should have quested that 100% everyone voted for one dude thing

thealiveone: YOU THINK

thealiveone: and yup posted on the last page of the town paper even

thealiveone: obvi to hid it

thealiveone: to conceal the truth from the masses

thealiveone: to DECIEVE THE PEOPLE

Shade: Wes alert

Shade: 🚨 🚨🚨

thealiveone: 🖕🏻

Footballking: and what’s the chances of mayor bastard getting mad at use for doing an assignemt in that?

PDAxpda: high

PDAxpda: considering Danny dudes phone is def hacked again

thealiveone: Imgonnakillhim

thealiveone: force feed him cat litter

YourMaster: you are more than welcome to try, Daniel. Simply know that I control the supply of gummy worms in my estates, and fools should not tempt fates they are unwilling to face.

thealiveone: WOW proper punctiiation and all Vlad die

Starfire: okay before this becomes another Vlad Danny fight

Starfire: assigenmt people

YourMaster: link 🔗

— YourMaster has left the chat —

thealiveone: you waited till now to do that? Really

PDAxpda: 🎵drama baby🎵

thealiveone: acceptable

Shade: PROJECT

thealiveone: 😞

Footballking: so about those nudes…

Starfire: absolutely NOT

Phantomsphine: don’t you dare

thealiveone: snicker

thealiveone: anywahy

thealiveone: anyone got the balls to click that link cause knowing me itll make myphone go boom

PDAxpda: I’m not doing your work for you

Danny shoves Tuck one for that, Tucker chuckling and standing up, “and on that note of physical violence, I am going home. My mom’s making the thick lasagna with prosciutto and I am not missing that sweet sweet dreaminess”.

“You better save me some or I’ll find a way to contaminate your left overs”.

“Le gasp! How could you!”, Tuck putting a hand to his chest dramatically before smirking, “obviously I will, man”. Danny just rolling his eyes and waving his friend bye.

Starfire: so everyone knows how manpilative our mayor is right?

Starfire: cause uh

Starfire: damn

Starfire: who wants to make the G.I.W. regret existing

Footballking: nice

PDAxpda: I’m listening

Starfire: do, like, internal communication things about human and ghost experiments count

Shade: while that’s not, exactly phnlic, I say fuck it

thealiveone: I mean

thealiveone: we would be making it public right?

Shade: that is a goddamn stretch and a half

Footballking: HA like we care

Footballking: and we’ll be allowed since were us

Shade: 🙄 this town and its stupid love of jocks

thealiveone: more like jokes am I right

Footballking: wtach it fentanyl

thealiveone: your vocab grows every day 🥰

Footballking: can I kill him niw

Starfire: sadly

Starfire: no

thealiveone: hey

thealiveone:

Kwanbomb: what does that even mean in this context

thealiveone: everything

Kwanbomb: alrighty then

Kwanbomb: and can’t we just ALSO make, like, an article stament in the school paper before hand to make it legit public

Kwanbomb: then we even get extra marks

thealiveone: I’m salivating already

Shade: that’s because your gpa is absolute ASS

thealiveone: silence fool

thealiveone: anyway anyway anywya

thealiveone: those fuckaticks are expiremnting on people?

Footballking: 😡

Phantomsphine: I do not want details

Starfire: I didn’t want them either espec cause there’s, like, photos

thealiveone: Vlad knows a goot therapist

Shade: does he actually?

thealiveone: … no 😔

thealiveone: im tryin

Starfire: it’s not horrifying or whatwver at least. But like, the memo thing straight doxxes half the wmployees

Starfire: apparently the ghost knows?

Starfire: and keeps telling the captured himans?

Starfire: the ghosts even giving out their social security numbers?

PDAxpda: I AM LISTENING

PDAxpda: THEY DONT ACTUALLY EVEN KEEP ANY OF THEIR FULL NAMES ON FILE

Shade: I WONDER WHY

Kwanbomb: 👆🏻

thealiveone: really man you should have taken their names first

PDAxpda: FUCK YOU

thealiveone: naw

Footballking: snort okay that was a good one

thealiveone: 😱

thealiveone: le gasp

thealiveone: a compliment

Footballking: and I’ll shove it down your throat if you don’t shut the fuck up fenton

thealiveone: *danny saw nothing*

Shade: wait, when did they get their hands on a ghost

Shade: and live humans

Shade: for expirementation

Phantomsphine: as much as even I’d like to sicc little miss witch on the G.I.W.

Phantomsphine: let’s use this for us first

Shade: why you selfish little bitch

Phantomsphine: oh get over yourself Manson

thealiveone: ANYWAY

thealiveone: what ghost

PDAxpda: NAMES PEOPLE

Starfire: OUR GOOD GRADE STANDING FOLEY

Starfire: some old looking clock themed ghost?

Starfire: *insert picture*

Starfire: never seen him before

Starfire: them it whatever

Phantomsphine: ew, old guy

Phantomsphine: why couldn’t we by maybe helping a hot guy

Footballking: or hot girl

Phantomsphine: 😠

Kwanbomb: dude, do you never learn?

Footballking: ah shit

thealiveone: OH MY GOD WHATTHEACTUCALEVERLOVINGFUCKMANANCIENTSFUCKINGSWEETDICKWHATTHEHELLZOJWHQYISTHISMYLIFESOMEONEPLEASEKILLMEJDGIWKFBFJHELLNONCHSJMIAMGOONAAKILLTHEM

Shade: I don’t even have words

Starfire: ?

Danny throws his hands up, his phone getting violently tossed onto his bed, “what the fuck Vlad!”, gesturing both hands out ridiculously, “what the fuck ClockWork!”. Moving to pace in a little circle, okay so… obviously ClockWork must have planned this? Right? Right. Be pretty insane if they were doing this for the kicks and lols. Actually scratch that, they might actually be doing this for funzies, they get bored a lot; not that Danny blames them. But should Danny actually just go along with this and basically doxx a bunch of government agents in the school paper and then double down and do it again in a random class project?

…

It would be pretty funny.

And an excuse to sic Tuck on them again.

Danny jumping a little from a louder ping from his phone.

PDAxpda: @thealiveone DANNY PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DAMN PHONE

PDAxpda: guys GUYS

PDAxpda: do you think Vlad knows?

thealiveone: I… don’t think? So?

Oh if Vlad did and waited till now to mention it then he’s an idiot.

Starfire:… why?

thealiveone: that’s it I’m phone the frootloop

Shade: oh we’re not explaining shit

Danny punches his speed dial for Vlad a bit aggressively.

“Now what can I do for you, my dear boy?”

Danny glares at the air, “how long have you just been sitting on this shit?”.

“Long enough, I suppose. Blackmail is best sat on, Daniel”.

Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, that idiot cheesehead, “do you even know what ghost they captured, you fucking psycho? That’s an Ancient”.

“Oh butter biscuits”.

Making Danny snort, “yeah that’s what I thought, you are the cause of ninety percent of your own problems and you won’t get help for a single damn one”.

“How was I supposed to know, Daniel. You’re the one with those kinds of connections”.

“Fuck you and your backhanded compliments”, Danny rolls his eyes, “anyway, thanks, or not, for turning my school project into a doxxing side quest. This is so going in the school paper and the town paper is more than welcome to quote it”, chuckling, “make Lance Thunder work for that pay raise”.

“A surprisingly cruel suggestion”.

“Oh shut up”, Danny hangs up on him immediately.

thealiveone: so

thealiveone: the answer

thealiveone: is Vlad’s a dumbass

PDAxpda: oh you’ve got to be kodding me

Shade: 💀💀💀

Shade: this is great

Footballking: YOU FREAKS GONNA EXPLAIN

Kwanbomb: ✋🏽I am curious too

thealiveone: so

thealiveone: you know how there are

thealiveone: ghost gods?

Starfire: no way

Phantomsphine: oh mi god

Phantomsphine: seioisly

Phantomsphine: is he like

Phantomsphine: wait how do you even know that

Shade: yeah Danny

Shade: how do you know

PDAxpda: shoudl you tell them or should i

Shade: no no let the boy speak for himself

Starfire: GUYS!

thealiveone: oaky okay

thealiveone: so there was this time right

thealiveone: that I may have deleted my self out of exostence and time god had to fix my fuck up because it broke the future and my dad became a ghost and my mom was Vlad live in wife appliance and the ghost problem was in wisconson instead but phantom and red apparently only give a ratsass about amity so the ghost problems were like capital P problems

Kwanbomb: zone damn man

Starfire: how are you like this?

Kwanbomb: you must have pissed off god when you were born

Shade: oh he definitely did

thealiveone: it’s true it’s trie

Phantomsphine: so they capture time god? HOW

thealiveone: from what I know of them they get bored

thealiveone: very often

Shade: yeah remember that time they caused the apocalypse just to be a silly guy

thealiveone: that was some traumatic bullshit that I don’t know WHY I HAD TO BE INVOVLEDNDIIEM XIMAIDNN HIS F

Danny winces and rubs his head, “ow you jerk!”. He’s not even going to question how ClockWork can smack him while actively being in G.I.W. custody.

Shade: HA

Starfire: you might actually be hated by god wow

Starfire: anyway

Starfire: are we doing this?

Footballking: 🙄 obviosuly

thealiveone: hang on just let me put on my Razer Skibidi™ to translate how dumb this is

thealiveone: but I too am down

Phantomsphine: there is so much wrong with yoy

Shade: I hate that I agree with you of all people on anything

Shade: and I side with anarchy

Phantomsphine: of course you do

Shade: 🔪

Kwanbomb: before Manson kills someone, maybe we should actually write and cite this thing?

Starfire: I’ll handle citation

Phantomsphine: I maybe be the one with an eye for detail but I’ll pass on citing that nightmare

thealiveone: then you can deal with the grammar and spell check shit

Shade: yeah do not let Danny do that

Kwanbomb: I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t know Fenton writes like a monkey half the time

thealiveone: HEU

PDAxpda: case and point

thealiveone: 🖕🏻

thealiveone: anyway tuck can do the hacking for further needed citation

PDAxpda: I’m not even part of this project

thealiveone: the teachers have always told me to use all my respurces so dance for me

PDAxpda: I would object but I’m a whore for appreciation

thealiveone: yeah you’re daddy’s girl

Starfire:…

Phantomsphine: 🫠

PDAxpda: okay now I’m gonna kill you too

thealiveone: 😔

thealiveone: why is everyobody so mean to me

Shade: SHUT UP DANNY

Shade: me and Kwan should do most of the wording, ethics and shit

Shade: since he’s the only one of you populars that actually has a heart or caring bone in their body

Kwanbomb: I am not repsinding to that

Footballking: the goth freak complmented you

Footballking: gonna have to wash off the freak vibes

thealiveone: dude how many women do you plan to piss off today

Shade: ha ha your corpse will make for great fertalizer

Kwanbomb: I’m staying dar outta this

PDAxpda: smart man

Shade: Dash can be our little botch and do all the running around to the phootcopier and the school news people

Shade: by that I mean he better start running now

Shade: I am outside your window

Shade: I am climbing your walls

Footballking: uh

PDAxpda: 😰🫡

Footballking: ZONE FUCKING CHRIST SHE ACTUALLY IS OH ZONE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE FENTON GET YOUR DAMN DOG BITCH

PDAxpda: yeah man I feel ya, we all hates when she does that

Kwanbomb: Dash buddy?

Starfire: @Shade please don’t actually kill him

Shade: request recieved request ignored

thealiveone: ancientsSam

thealiveone: we need him alove

thealiveone: for now

Phantomsphine: oh as if she could actually do anything

Footballking: oh you me like curse me with her werido witch crap?

Phantomsphine: oh don’t you go there with me

Footballking: *throws up hands in defeat*

Kwanbomb: *gives supporting back pats*

Kwanbomb: so what’s Fenton doing then?

thealiveone: break and enetering what else

Starfire: Zone fucking hell fenton

thealiveone: What?

thealiveone: tick gets the digital supporting evidence

thealiveone: I get the phsucoal supporting evidence

thealiveone: and clock god

thealiveone: and the humans

PDAxpda: oh naw do I got them

thealiveone: what

PDAxpda: you ever wonder what happens when electronically operated cells spotaniosuly unlock and open?

PDAxpda: and those cells happen to be filled with say a lot of pissed off people that government whackos tried to merge with the energy of a loteral god?

Starfire: this stuff didn’t actually, like, work work did it?

thealiveone: PAH

thealiveone: yeah right

thealiveone: ….

thealiveone: tuck

thealiveone: please say it didn’t or I will cry and it will be ugly

Phantomsphine: you’re always ugly

thealiveone: HEY

PDAXpda: we’re fine we’re fine Clocks staring judgingly ar the camera so I’m pretty sure were getting called dumbasses

Starfire: what does that even eman

thealiveone: everything and nothing hoenslty

Shade: a panting Dash is now at the school news room

Phantomsphine: we haven’t even written anything!

Starfire: this is a mess

Shade: we then get to jt

Shade: Kwan, google docs now

Kwanbomb: 😓

Starfire: sigh I’ll get to work jotting things down from the link

Footballking: AM I JUST SUPOOSED TO STAND HERE TILL SCHOOL OPENS AND YOU DICKS HAVE SOMETHING

Shade: you’re not standing

Shade: you’re hiding

Shade: from me

Shade: which you will keep doing

Shade: or I’ll give Danny ghost nip and sicc him on yoy

Footballking: I’m good right here fuck that

thealiveone: I’m not against getting high

Starfire: no!

Phantomsphine: NO

Kwanbomb: no

Footballking: DONT YOU DARE FENTON

thealiveone: awwww 😞

PDAxpda: haha no man no

thealiveone: I’m surrounded by D.A.R.E graduates

thealiveone: weaklings

Shade: fucking really Danny?

Danny chuckles to himself before sticking his phone in his pocket. This? Yeah this was gonna be fun.

Danny cracks his knuckles, looking at the highlighted targets Tuck had sent him to hit. He honestly feels slightly like a hitman right now. Even more so because he is currently staring at a G.I.W. compound with sirens and lights flashing like a bombing is about to happen.

…

Or more like a prison break has happened.

thealiveone: operation Dr Thunder Thighs is a go

Starfire: I hate you

Danny snickers to himself before duck-running rapidly towards the compound; going invisible wasn’t exactly an option since that amount of ecto-energy would likely get his ass detected almost immediately.

“WARNING! WARNING! CODE PDA! CODE PDA!”

“WARNING! WARNING! SECTION N1B OCCUPANT CELLS UNLOCKED”

“WARNING! WARNING! PROJECTS G572SIMPA ARE LOOSE!”.

Danny glances up at a red blaring alarm and snickers, everyone always got a kick outta how the G.I.W. had a warning code and protocol for Tucker specifically; granted they really really needed it even if it didn’t help much.

“WARNING! WARNING! ALL YOUR ASSES ARE GRASS AND I’M GONNA MOW EM’!”.

Ah classic Tuck, classic Tuck.

Anyway, office-like rooms here he comes.

The first one he finds is just filled with staplers and cleaning supplies, lots of cleaning supplies. He is not surprised, annoyed, but not surprised. But hey! At least the second room has filing cabinets! Never thought he’d be so happy to find those. He’s ruffling through them in record time and intangibly stuffing them into his torso; short little bursts of a tiny amount of energy should, reasonably, be fine enough.

Of course the second he’s done and feeling like he’s on a roll, he opens a door to multiple agents. Blinking as they stare at him for a beat before, “it’s the Fenton boy! Get him!”.

“You’re under arrest for aiding and abetting the release of government property! And for aiding and abetting a ghost!”.

“On the ground! It’s fully sanitized so do not worry about that!”.

“Obey our orders and we won’t press charges!”.

“You couldn’t make your darn breakins more cleanly and gentle for a change!”.

Danny blinks and shouts, “the dildo of consequences never arrives lubed!“, and just fucking books it; smashing a window as he goes just to be a pain in their collective asses.

“WARNING! WARNING! HARASSING A FENTON ONLY INFLICTS SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS!”.

Danny laughing, “hurt yourselves in your confusion!”, and nearly falling on his ass as he tries to turn sharply and skid into a random room as his ghost sense goes off. Danny waving wildly, “Clocky! What’s up buddy!”.

ClockWork stretching out lazily, the anti-ecto cuffs seemingly being deconstructed back to their original materials, “hello, Daniel. I was enjoying my vacation”, telekinetically moving their staff over into their hands and beginning to clean it gently, “though I am not about to claim to be unused to your interruptions”.

“Clocky, why are you like this?”. ClockWork age shifts into their toddler form and moves to sit on Danny’s shoulder, “they bring the fuck around, I bring the find out”. Making Danny shake his head, amused, yeah ClockWork did just let people -usually Danny- ‘find out’ the very very hard way.

“HALT!”.

“Cease this opposition immediately!”.

“Release our property!”.

Danny whips around to the doorway, flips them off, “sucks to suck! Cuckfucks!”.

ClockWork smirking, “I rather think I will do no such thing. You hardly qualified as entertaining beforehand”.

They, of course, start firing more aggressively at him/them, but he just hops around avoiding it, G.I.W. aim wasn’t exactly… good. Especially with their speakers now blasting vocaloid curtesy of Tuck.

Danny running off and laughing wildly as random parts of their compound seem to gain minds of their own and start dumping or spitting various liquids at the men.

This was officially going to be the fastest raid Danny’s ever pulled on them.

Of course the second that thought had crossed his mind he gets bodily smashed into and tossed into the air by a fleeing former captive. “I do not apologize! Unless you are the one who freed me!”.

“I AM HE!”.

“WARNING! WARNING! NO YOU ARE NOT! DO NOT STEAL MY THUNDER OR NO MORE LASAGNA FOR FLEEING BITCH BOY!”.

“Hey!”.

Danny promptly gets picked up by one said fleeing persons and hoisted over head, “you know the hacker so whatever!”. ClockWork simply moving to be on Danny’s stomach as the pair get effectively carried out of the compound like they’re feral cats; ClockWork’s even still cleaning their staff. G.I.W. agents attempt to chase them, slipping and sliding all over the messes on the ground and shrieking about cleanliness breaches all the while.

Heh.

Ten outta ten.

A bit away from the compound Danny finally gets put down, the group of ex-experimented on humans stare at Danny and the still toddler sized ClockWork. One guy gesturing at the ghost, “why?”.

“The time was right and time is a funny thing”.

Everyone, even Danny, glares at the ghost. ClockWork age shifting into an adult, winking, and swinging their staff to teleport away. The group of people collectively groan, many throwing up their hands, before stomping off.

Danny looking down at the ground dejectedly, “why does everybody leave me?”, and fake sniffles before jerking up straight and flipping off the G.I.W. compound in the background that appears to be starting to smoke ominously. A faint “WARNING! WARNING! GET WRECKED BITCHES!” can be heard in the distance.

Hell yeah.

Footballking: move your asses! I have been here all weekend!

Danny snickers down at his phone before looking to Kwan, whose hands on the table looking at all the paper. Star repeatedly glancing from the google doc to the papers and typing. Danny stretching out, shoulders popping, “so we got the actual school news paper thing? Dash might be getting bored of doing random workout exercises outside of a locked door”. The look Kwan gives him is distinctly pained.

Paulina huffing, “fine, here, feak. Go use your weak little loser legs to run it off to Dash”, throwing a bit of her hair over her shoulder, “that way he won’t have to waste any more of his, far more important, time”.

Danny gives her the double middle finger, “kick rocks, Paulina. Kick. Rocks”; he takes the papers any way and moves to hop out the window.

Star staring at the window, “that used to be funny but at this point everyone hates when he does that”.

Kwan chuckling, “well yeah, half the time he breaks the damn window when he does that. Even I’ve heard the janitors complain about it”.

Danny moves moderately quickly across town.

thealiveone: I am an incoming misiel and you are a target

thealiveone: fear me

Footballking: you hanging out with the box ghost mow?

Footballking: not like anyone else could put up with your pathetic waste of a life

thealiveone: suddenly the missile is moving much much slower

Footballking:…..

thealiveone: in fact it seems the midsole has stopped moving entitely

Footballking: goddamn it Fenton

Footballking: I won’t give you a swirly for a week of you just husle your ass

thealiveone: the missile is now jogging at a steady but not particually speedy pace

Footballking: GET BENT FENTON

Danny crawls up part of the school wall, jimmys open a window and crawls in on all fours, Dash just staring at him, “seriously?”. Sam popping out from around a corner ominously, “is it done”.

“You ask me that like I went and offed a guy”. Danny standing up and brushing off his pants before sauntering over and holding out the paper, “but yes, yes I did”.

Sam snatching it while Dash throws up his hands, her reading off of the paper, “As everyone is well aware, the G.I.W. has a tendency to be involved in many unethical and unsafe plans and operations. One such plan to attempt ‘modernize’ the human body involved some wild human and ghost expiremntation, as was discovered by Daniel Fenton, Sam Manson, Paulina Sanchez, Star Anderson, Dash Baxter, and Kwan Ishima. This means that we should now lobby the Provincial government, as people of Amity Park and in alignment with our coexistence with the Infinite Realm, to charge the G.I.W. for their various crimes. Here in follows all found infractions and both the names and addresses of the men involved”. Her looking back to Danny, “this is all of two paragraphs, Danny”.

Danny rolling his eyes and hands over the rest, it’s not a small stack.

Sam grins meanly, even Dash does, “now we’re talking”.

All three moving to stand in front of the door. Dash blinking after a while, “and when does this open?”.

Danny shrugging, “oh only in 3 hours”.

“You’re dead, Fenton. Dead fucking meat”.

Lance Thunder -reporter of the weather and, for some ungodly reason, ghost issues also known as ‘the ghost weather watch’- has hated his job somewhat mildly for a while now. Don’t get him wrong, he likes reporting, he just doesn’t like reporting on ghosts or on the sheer insanity that was Amity Park’s specific brand of abnormally snowy weather. It didn’t help that small town equaled small time, and never really getting his name out there or doing anything really impressive or of note in his field. Especially because who was going to take a ghost weather reporter seriously on anything ever. Ugh.

But he’s stuck here and as much as he low-key slightly hates his job, he also loves this stupid town. Just like every other Amity Parker.

Tiffany all but bursts into his ‘office’ aka a desk with really high sides at best, “G.I.W. news”.

Oh Lance Thunder hates his job so very much.

The… Casper High Ravens News on top is new though… and concerning. Please don’t let the Fenton boy be involved. Please don’t let the Fenton boy be involved. Please for the love of everything don’t. Let. Him. Be. Involved. Slowly grabbing the papers to read them over, knowing full well he’s going to be clocking some over time now.

…

HA. Never mind. This is great. He’s glad his mental begging failed him yet again. Lance Thunder grins down at the papers, “Tiffany, expect to see the name Lance Thunder on journalistic ethics studies in the near future”.

She blinks, “that bad?”

“Please get me a copy of WPA and all related papers”.

“Jesus”.

Lance Thunder, the whistle blower… ahh that sounded great. Maybe he’ll get his own wiki article now? That’ll show stupid Jeremiah and his stupid ‘struck it big in New York’ job!

Footballking: know that this is the last time I’m touch this thing

thealiveone: until we all wind up getting stuck together again

Footballking: keep your bad luck to yourself, Fentroley

Footballking: we actually made it into the town news

Shade: way to go us

Shade: down with the G.I.W. scum

Footballking: scum

Kwanbomb: scum

thealiveone: scum

Phantomsphine: scum

Starfire: scum

PDAxpda: SCUM!

Starfire: at least the ‘Ravens Raid the Restrained: Casper High Students Uncover Super Soldier Ghost Hybrid Plot Using A God’ title is nuts to see

thealiveone: and entirely our fault! Hooray!

Starfire: there’s even a secotion with ‘all G.I.W. names revealed’ we actually doxxed them

PDAxpda: noice

Shade: and that Thunder guy apparently actually got nominated for an award or something over it

Starfire: good for him?

Phantomsphine: oh whatever

Footballking: we did get bonus credits so I DO NOT care

thealiveone: and!

thealiveone: we didn’t fail the project!

Shade: at this point if we had I’d be throwing hands

thealiveone: ditto

Phantomsphine: as if I’d risk a nail doing that

Shade: 🙄

PDAxpda: ironically, Lancer the teacher actually got a cease and desist notice from the government over ‘encouraging civil war’ and ‘threatening public safety’

Starfire: seriously????

Starfire: wow

thealiveone: oh I’m sure he just added it to the pile

(Mr. Lancer did, in fact, just add it to his ever growing pile. A pile that was largely his favourite problem child’s fault, because of course it was. However, he was supremely not impressed over just how many pictures accompanied the ‘notice’/threat. Not only did they get the place covered in random liquids but they also set most of it on fire. And the government apparently felt the need to also send him copies of all the ‘housing’ and ‘aid’ and ‘asylum’ requests filed by the G.I.W. captives… without any of the people’s names redacted. Mr. Lancer really hates the government these days and sincerely wishes Daniel would stop accosting them)

Kwanbomb: oh yeah he weakly threatens you with random files from ‘the pile’ all the time

Kwanbomb: I thought those were about your parents or your breaking shit havit

Footballking: ha

thealiveone: I mean there’s also files on my parents but those or more used to threaten said parents than me

Starfire: zone damn

thealiveone: I know right?

Starfire: oh what about that time god ghost? Why were they even there?

thealiveone: time thinks it’s being funny

Shade: time thinks it’s being funny

PDAxpda: time thinks it’s being funny

Kwanbomb: that…

Kwanbomb: was creepy

Footballking: I am leaving I am done wasting my time on you freaks

— Footballking has left the chat—

thealiveone: damn I’m surprised it took that long

—Phantomsphine has left the chat—

PDAxpda: Paulina no! Not even a goodbye

Shade: shallow wench

Starfire: you know

Starfire: maybe people would actually hangout with you lot more if you weret all kinda meanies

Starfire: like, seriously

thealiveone: the difference between ya’ll and me is that A lot of people like assholes and sticking things in them. But no one likes a douchebag

—Starfire has left the chat—

Shade: oh fuck off shallow puddle number 2

PDAxpda: but I’m mice!

Kwanbomb: but man you’re also a total creep

Kwanbomb: even dense Kyle can see that

Shade: whatever

—Shade has left the chat—

PDAxpda: 🥲

thealiveone: he has a point tuck

PDAxpda: a point I’m refusing to hear

—PDAxpda has left the chat—

thealiveone: and then there were two

thealiveone: two bros chilling in the hot tub five feet apart because they’re not gay

Kwanbomb: the constant puns and jokes is another ick dude

thealiveone: but it’s my biggest attractive quality

thealiveone: the punny man

thealiveone: the punmister

thealiveone: the pun-isher

Kwanbomb: I’m going to be the only one at you’re funeral

thealiveone: first off

thealiveone: rude

thealiveone: second off

thealiveone: just assuming I’m gonna put live san and tuck? HA!

Kwanbomb: obviously

Kwanbomb: Masons on a oneway tocket to getting shot at a protest or something or winding up in jail

Kwanbomb: and didn’t Foley absolutely wreck his fingers just to get a new pda? Guys got zero survival whatever

thealiveone: ….

thealiveone: I do not like this conversation anymore

Kwanbomb: that’s fair man

Kwanbomb: your lifes pretty shit

thealiveone: I DID NOT AIGN UP FOR A THERAPY SESS

thealiveone: but I’m actually a seemi decent person

thealiveone: to wveryone who isn’t vlad

thealiveone: so goodbye

thealiveone:…

thealiveone: and maybe don’t die

Kwanbomb: 😁👍🏾

Kwanbomb: I promise you’ll have someone around to miss you when you’re gone

thealiveone: ancients fuck me

—thealiveone has left the chat—

Kwanbomb: whelp

Kwanbomb: now it’s just me and the void

Kwanbomb: …

Kwanbomb: that guy is seriosuyl gonna die alone though

Kwanbomb: oh I should write ulogy poems!

—Kwanbomb has dissolved the chat—

“So did you save that Ancient”.

“Yes, obviously, no thanks to you, jackass”.

“Were they happy about your wasted effort and pointless heroics”.

“Fucking peachy”.

… “Are they going to fully kill me, Daniel?”.

“Oh for zones sake, old man. No. If they wanted to they would have done so already… But you are absolutely going to die alone”.

“Hmmmm. I highly doubt that. After all, you will be there one way or another and whether you like it or not”.

“…”

“Same as I’ll be there for you, to lord your demise over you”.

“Goddamn you. I… tolerate you too, you stupid frootloop”.

“What a peculiar way to say ‘I love you dearly, father’, little badger”.

“Never gonna happen. I will enjoy going to your funeral, full well knowing I could have changed the outcome”.

“And I’ll look forward to seeing you there in a proper suit for once in your buffoonish life”

“Ha! Assuming I’ll wear a suit!”.

“Oh that’s absolutely required in my will”.

“…. I hate you so much. Bye, Vlad”.

“Ah, by the way, dear Maddie told me a certain someone is coming to my lovely abode all weekend for slacking on their chores again”

“I will eviscerate you”.

“I’ll add it to our schedule, Daniel. In between etiquette training and fencing, of course”.

“Ugh”.

End.

Prompts:

It's Tucker and his PDA versus the G.I.W. The Guys in White never stood a chance. Reveal—but the person or thing revealed isn’t Danny. Danny and friends end up in a group chat with A-Listers for a group project. For once Lance Thunder is glad he never took that job in another city The Guys in White have captured the ghost of a frail old man for experiments - lots and lots of painful experiments! But there's something strange about this old ghost. How does he know all their real names and other personal information? Why does he always sound like an old clock? Time is funny like that I hate it when he does that [feel free to change pronouns as appropriate] Mr. Lancer has promised extra credit to any student that writes an article for the school newspaper. If he had even the slightest bit of foresight, he could've prevented the following chaos.

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