Anger
(Part 1)
Face claim- Lily James
[Warning- Miscarriage]
Masterlist // Series Masterlist
Two weeks passed in a blur while also being painfully slow.
And all you did was stay in bed, drink and think. The only time you were sober was in the morning until the kids were off to school. It wasn't healthy, and everyone could see it now, even the kids.
Amie was getting frustrated cause she wanted to go home and be with her dad, Emiel was frustrated cause he was catching onto the whispers and murmurs going around.
No one was asking anything but everyone knew something was wrong.
You, while there, also searched for some apartment to rent. You thought of buying one first, but seeing the situation you were in renting was for the best.
The kids were your major priority through all of this and you have been trying to reach Harry for last week to get him some time spent with kids but he neither picks up calls or sees your messages.
Kids went to school in morning and the couple went to work when you decided to clean up their house before leaving. Whatever few things you had with you were packed and you were dreading the trip you will have to make back home that house to get other things back.
You were fine without your clothes you could wear and buy something, but it's other things like Amie's Simba teddy or Emiel's comic collection or his textbooks. You needed to get those things.
You were done with the kitchen when the doorbell rang. You thought it might be Bran since he likes to come home for lunch sometimes. You quickly wiped your hands and opened the door.
But to your surprise, it wasn't Bran. It was the one and only backstabbing whore, the homewrecker aka your sister, standing there in your clothes.
It made your blood boil. The whole two weeks sadness was slowly turning into anger but seeing her just catalyzed the process.
"What do you want? Wasn't breaking one home enough that you came for the second one?" You said through your teeth.
She smirked and dropped the box down near your foot, making some items slip out.
"I just wanted to help you out sissy. Brought some of your clothes back, although I did keep some. The only redeeming quality you have is your dressing sense and cheekbones" She laughed, but your ears were ringing when you realized which dress she was wearing. Harry let her wear that dress? that?
Harry twirled you around on the sidewalk, both of you enjoying the time without flashes of camera and shouts of people.
You giggled as he yanked you closer to him and kissed you sweetly. You two were coming back from your first official date. Many times, you two have gone out or have eaten together, but this was the first time he officially asked you out, picked you up from your house, and even bought you flowers! They were tulips his favorite, and they were soooo pretty.
You were happy with anything he gave you cause you were pretty damn sure you were already in love with him.
He brought you to a posh sushi restaurant but he could take you to a roadside dump and you would have still loved it. Now you two were returning back home with ice cream as dessert.
It was the best day of both of your lives.
Now that you recalled that day you saw how it was only company of Harry you enjoyed and how he did all the things he liked. The food, the flowers, everything was what he liked not you.
You felt panic creeping up your back. Your vision turned blurry, your hands shaking along with your body. Pair of hands gripped your shoulders and sat you down on the couch.
You looked up and saw identical pair of eyes looking back at you with nothing but emptiness. She didn't feel anything not a tad bit of sadness or remorse for doing this to you. She brought glass of water to your lips and forced you to drink it. You sipped some and coughed rest out.
"Why are you doing this? I'm your sister!" You cried out, more and more hot tears falling down your face. She just rolled her eyes and stood up straight.
"Cause you deserve it" She said, "You deserve everything I'm doing. Taking away your husband, your kids, family, everything you love, like you took everything I love" She said, her matching saphire eyes to your gleaming with hatred.
"What the fuck did I took from you? I fucking raised you when our incompetent parents where getting drunk off their asses" You screamed, now standing tall in front of her.
"Raised me?" She chuckled, "Whole childhood I spent in your shadow, I was nothing but your sister. You were out there getting on with celebrities, going to award shows being the favorite loving child of our parents while I did everything and still was nothing" She screamed back.
"You saw all that but you didn't see me suffering? I was right fucking there few years older than you raising two kids" You screamed pushing her back making her stumble.
"And you also killed one!" She screamed louder. You didn't know how it happened but one second she was looking into your eyes with matching anger and next second her head whipped to the side with a bright red mark on her cheecks.
Time stood still as you both took deep breaths. Everything was silent but the crack that formed in already damaged relationship of two sisters was louder than anything.
"Murderous bitch" She spitted and turned around leaving you all alone like always.
A loud sob broke from your lips and you fell down onto the couch. Your whole body was shaking so bad you didn't even notice when you had slipped from the couch onto the carpet and when Emiel came in and hugged you from side.
"Mom!" He cried, panicking, "Mom please you're bleeding! what is going on?" He asked while sobbing himself.
Not knowing exactly what to do, he called the only person he did whenever he was in tough situations, Harry.
He called and called and called but no one picked up. No one.
With shaking hands and betrayed heart, he called the emergency number and tried explaining everything, and soon enough the paramedics were at the doorstep taking you to the hospital.
It was blur for both of you, Emiel was trying to balance both himself and you but it was god damn hard and all he kept asking was where was his dad? where was Harry?
"Hey kid" One of the medicos from the team came and sat next to him, "Is there anyone adult who I can talk to? Your dad perhaps?" He asked.
Emiel was trying to make his mind work, "Is mom okay?" He asked with broken voice.
"She will be" He said with a sympathetic smile, "Trust me she will be, I just need an adult for papers and all" He said.
"Yeah, my father" He said and gave Elliott's number instead, not knowing if Harry would pick up or not.
"You're a good kid. You protected your mom. Good job" He said, giving Emiel a pat on the shoulder and walking away.
Soon enough, Elliott was there with his messed up clothes and hair and heaving like he ran a marathon.
"What happened?" He asked, Emiel just shook his head and started crying again. He hugged his father, and Elliott hugged him back, rubbing his back to comfort him.
No matter what, he was just a 13 year old kid, and it was a scary situation to be in.
"She was not speaking, and there was blood. I got so scared, and Dad was also not picking up my call so I called the emergency number" He said in between sobs.
"It's okay. He was probably busy. Now I need you to be strong for your mom, okay? She is dealing with a lot here, I will be back in a moment" Elliott said, pushing back hairs from Emiel's face. Emiel gave him a weak nod and tried to compose himself.
As he was about to leave but Emiel heald his hands, "Pa, are those rumors true?" He asked.
Bran didn't know how to respond. How was he supposed to explain this to a 13 year old? And neither was it his place to do so.
"Be strong Emi" He just said that and kissed his son's forehead hoping and knowing you will take all the pressure of this whole situation like a god damn dam holding the water pressure before anything reaches kids but for that he needed for you to be okay.
He ran towards the room you were in, while he was on his way there, he texted Bran to pick up Emi from here and Amie from school.
He reached the room and opened the door with shaky hands, you were wide awake staring at the ceiling.
"Hey dolce" He called out to you but you gave no response, he swept the hair back of your head. The weight loss you had in past weeks was very evident, your hollow cheeks and fragile body was making his heart ache.
"I lost it" You said, "I lost the baby" You said with not a single emotion behind your words.
"Oh darling, I'm so sorry" he said, his own eyes tearing up knowing how much you wanted a big family and kids.
"Maybe I'm cursed" you said, "Cursed to lose everything that I love dearly" you said, looking up at the ceiling, the white light of hospital burning your eyes, but you couldn't look away. It felt good. It felt good punishing yourself for a crime you didn't even know if you committed or not.
"Don't say that, just cause people are cruel doesn't mean you are cursed" He said, "You need to be strong, for yourself, for your babies" Elliott said holding your hand in his, "The future doesn't end cause a man cheated on you, you're a fucking emmy winner actress, kind, gorgeous woman who is not a amazing mother but also a amazing human being"
A single tear dropped from your eyes as you took in the words. It was nice to be comforted, but the bed was still made of thrones, and life did end. The future was dark and empty. Awards were a hollow struture sitting on your office wall, and the only thing making you go on was your kids.
"Emi is scared Y/N and he's asking questions I'm in no place to answer" He heaved a sigh, "You have to tell him sooner or later he's a big kid now rumors are getting to him" He explained.
Words felt empty to you though, what was the point of all this? Was this a character development phase like those in movies and books go through? But haven't you been through enough? A single mom, child actress, the horrors you have phased all throughout your life was not it enough that as soon as you grasped a thread of security, it broke?
Who was to blame, you, your sister, your husband, or your fate?
Even if you do play this blame game what's the point? your life is ruined, your kids will have trauma for life and you have a brokenfamoly again.
So it was right to assume you were cursed. Curse of a broken family.
*****
"And then she said get the fuck out of my house. I think she's fucking her ex again" She said taking sip of her drink, "I mean she looked pretty comfortable there"
Harry felt a visible chill going down his spine. The thought of you going back to your ex was an intense one. It's not like he still loved you he loved her, right? It was just concern considering you guys have been together for 6 years.
Anothet thing that made him uncomfortable and on edge was that this was first time he was out with her publicly. Although the place was discrete and not in the eyes of public. He felt weird when she chose this place cause this was yours and his place in corner of world where no one bothered you but things change don't they?
"I don't think so" He said, putting his glass down, "I think we should leave before someone sees us" He said, looking around, hoping there were no cameras pointing at him.
"Seriously? What is now? She has left then why should we still be in shadows?" She said loudly not enough to make every hear but enough to get few attention.
"Look we will talk about this at home right now it's too much for me" He said gulping down the rest of his wine and getting up, "Meet me outside I will call the driver" He said leaving the table.
His hands were shaking as he walked outside feeling uncomfortable and like it was wrong so wrong. But love is right, isn't it? Then why did it felt wrong.
He called the driver and in few minutes he was in front of him. She came out pouting like a child which annoyed Harry to no extent.
"Let's go" Harry said, holding open the car door.
"I'm sorry baby" She said looking up at him softly, "I just got made cause I want you all by myself" She said and got up on her tiptoes to kiss him.
He smiled and kissed her back, "It's alright" He said and pecked her lips one more time. She laughed and got down, going back into the car.
Although he didn't feel uncomfortable, there was this feeling that something wasn't right.
Liked by Harryfan2, Y/Nfan3, Y/Nfan1 and 345,901 others
StylesNews Harry and Y/N spotted near their favorite restaurant
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Y/Nfan3 They look so cute
Harryfan1 Bestie...that's not Y/N
Y/Nfan4 She has nerves to wear her clothes!?
Y/Nfan2 Is that Y/N's sister? Wtf
HarryY/Nfanacc this why divorce rumors are going around?
*****
When Harry saw those photos the next morning, he knew he was in deep shit. It didn't seem to phase her, not even a little bit, which annoyed him. Does she not care about her reputation? does she not care about him? You would have gone up with your managers and been with him if something like this would happen, then why wouldn't she?
He called Jeff how rolled his eyes and gave him a 'I told you so' look but he was his manager so he had no choice. Damage control was on in about an hour but photos had people talking and it was spreading.
His mum, Gemma and dad called him several times, but he didn't have hesrt to pick it up. He didn't have the heart to pick anyone's phone, so he just switched it off. If Jeff needed something, he could call him on his professional phone.
Panicky he ran hand through his hair and walked towards his room, hearing faint voices when he got closer.
"Yes, thank you so much" she said with happiness.
"Who was that?" He asked, accidentally scaring him. She put the phone down on the nightstand and walked towards him.
"Oh nothing," She said with a strained smile, "just the modeling gig I applied to. I got it!" She said with sudden happiness.
Harry's eyebrows shot up, since when did she model he thought but let it go and focused on the smiling girl in front of him, whom he was totally in love with.
"That's great babe" He said kissing the top of her forehead.
"I know right why don't we celebrate it by going out to that Italian restaurant!" She suggested, "I'm really craving some gnocchi" She moaned.
"We went out just yesterday. I think we should give time to let things rest before going out and being seen again" Harry said. She rolled her eyes and pushed him making him stumble.
"Fucking wuss" She said before walking into the shared bathroom with her phone.
It has been two weeks of lying and moping aeound for you and reasonably enough. The pregnancy was early, so you not detecting it made sense, but it was still hard to cope with.
Not only did you lose your husband but also your child all in the span of less than a month.
Enough was enough now, though you told yourself you still had 2 loving, beautiful kids who needed you, and they also needed their dad.
His phone has been off as Elliot had tried multiple times to reach him so kids could have at least one parent but to no avail. Emiel was old enough, so it was okay he was snappy and closed off like he used to be, but your babygirl? she was a mess. She wanted her dad and rightfully so.
You got up and showered you had contacted your friend and manager Chloe disturbing her much needed vacation and honeymoon.
She had no idea from being off the coast of what was going on in the whole social media mess, but it was getting ugly. The pic of them in front of your restaurant didn't make things easy for you, but it was about time you took action.
She was seething when she heard of the cheating, considering she was one of your close friends.
The first thing you needed to do for getting your shit together was to get out of the house and search for a place to stay until a decision gets finalized.
You got up from bed, your whole body aching, dehydrated, your hair knotted. Cold air made you flinch as you made your way to the bathroom. You looked like shit. You looked like that 20s Y/N again who had lost herself but you wouldn't go there again never.
You got ready and dressed in simple jeans, a T-shirt and a long coat as it was getting cold, you put on a pair of sunglasses to hide your puffy eyes. You locked the main door and hid the keys under a stone (poor hiding spot, I know). You took your car and drove to the retailers office with whom you talked in the morning.
In front of the building, you took a deep breath in. This was it, the first step. The first step towards leaving everything behind. Towards a new phase, you don't even know what it is.
You popped open the golve compartment and reached for the cigarettes you hide under all the paperwork. You needed something. It had been so long since you had one probably years.
You got out of the car and lit one up, not wanting your kids to smell the smoke in the car. It was an empty, quiet street, and you were thankful for hat cause you were in no mood to find another picture of yourself on the internet.
Finishing the cigarette, you walked inside the building chewing on the mint you have in your pocket. You saw the mid-40s man standing there for you with a big smile.
"Welcome ma'am" He said with a smile, "I've been waiting for you." He walked towards his office and sat down on his chair. You sat down in front of him, sighing, still feeling slight ache in body.
"So what kind of property are you looking for?" He asked.
"Probably a rental. I don't have it in my mind to stay for long," you said, "Maybe a big apartment with at least 3 rooms," you said, falling back in the chair.
"And please let it be near the school." You said telling the name of school your kids were in. He nodded and typed away on his laptop.
"There are some but not a lot. Maybe 4-5" He said with a sad face. You looked through all the apartments and saw one you found most liveable. It had 3 rooms, an open space kitchen living situation, more like a condo, but it was nice.
Not home but a house.
*****
Liked by Y/Nfan2, Y/Nfan4, Harryfan1 and 710,566 others
Y/Nupdates Y/N spotted out today by some fans.
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Y/Nfan2 God she looks rough, poor soul.
Harryfan2 She should address the things going around about her and her husband it's damaging his image.
Y/Nfan3 I heard she was looking for an apartment
Harryfan3 How do you know?
Y/Nfan3 My uncle is the retailer she went to
Y/Nfan1 I hope all is good, I love them together
*****
You finalized the apartment and drove with him to see it in person, and as you expected, it was nice with all the brick walls and high ceilings. Your son would love this, you thought, and that put at least a glimpse of smile on your face. You decided on that house and did all the procedures needed right away.
You were moving in the day after tomorrow. You were determined now. You got through hardships since you were born. You have been used, abandoned, cheated, and betrayed, but not anymore. You will take charge of your own life.
All it mattered was you and your kids no more, no less.
*****
Username1 Omg guys my dad said the girl from Cinderella came into his building to rent an apartment from his property. He met Y/N fucking Monet I'm going crazy!!!!!
230k Likes, 22k Retweets, 890 comments
Y/Nrry Rent an apartment!?
Username1 Yeah he said he didn't recognize her at first but after that he remembered on his way home. She looked pretty sad and roughed up.
Harryfan1 Omg guys is this official?
Y/Nfan3 I'm not crying definitely not
*****
As you walked towards the door, you heard noise of laugh, a special laugh, it was your daughter's. For a moment, you felt thankful, thinking maybe Harry came to his senses and thought at least about his kids, but it all got lost when you saw Chloe playing with her.
Everyone froze seeing you, Amie ran towards you, and you pulled her up in your arms.
"You're up mama" She said putting her little hands on your cheecks, "Are you okay now? Elliott said you're sick" She asked pouting.
"Yeah baby I'm fine now" You said fighting tears and pulled her into a closer hug but all of your resemblance broke when she said 'missed you' in her little voice. You abandoned your kids when they needed you the most you were no less than a monster.
"I'm sorry" You said, kissing her cheeks. Emiel watched the whole thing and walked towards you. You reached thinking he would hug you, but all he did was take Amie from your arms and walk back to their room.
You broke down feeling failure as a mother, wife, and everything you could be. You were failure build up as a person.
Chloe ran towards you, still in her vacation clothes, and hugged you, rubbing your arms up and down. Elliot gave you a glass of water when you calmed down a bit.
"I will kill that motherfucker" Chloe said into your hair, "I will fucking destroy him" She was seething as she kissed your head in affection.
"Don't" You said, looking up with watery eyes.
"After everything he put you through? Still? I told you he was not worth it, that pompus, narcissistic bitch" She said seething.
"He's more than just a man, Chloe. He's the father of my kids. I don't want them to hate him." You said, putting your head on the sofa behind you.
Chloe sighed and rubbed her forehead. You knew she was getting a headache, and if things were normal, you would be having tea and gossiping about her honeymoon, but that was ruined that also.
"You need to take some kind of action some kind of upper hand" Chloe said, and Elliot nodded in agreement. "Especially with your bitch sister" She said rolling her eyes.
"I need to get my things from the house first. Kids and my stuff all are in there, and I'm thinking of moving the day after tomorrow" You said now, looking up at the wooden ceiling.
"You can stay for longer it's no big deal" Elliot said, but you shook your head. "I've stayed longer than I should have" You replied with a small smile.
"We will go tomorrow and get your stuff. You don't need to go and look at their filthy faces" Chloe said, sitting beside you mimicing your posture and looking up at the ceiling.
"No, I want to go also" you said, sitting up straight, "I think I want to have a chat with him, and we are going today"
*****
You were driving in your car, and Chloe was with Elliot in her car. You had left just an hour after making up your mind. Would've left sooner, but Chloe wanted to quote on quote wanted Harry to see what he had lost.
You did nothing more considering you had no clothes at Elliot's house. She just swapped t-shirt with your trusty black turtleneck and put on some of your red lipstick and did just enough makeup to look presentable and also hide your dark circles.
As the house started nearing your heart, it started beating faster. You took a deep breath and kept driving. The gate lock still had your biometric on it, considering you lived there, so it was no difficult task to get in.
You kept it together even though the house that was once your home, a place where your sweet angel was born, a place of remembrance was now just some walls and bricks.
You got into the house and walked down the entryway, everything was somehow was same as it was yet it was different. Everything was different, you were different.
On your way to the staircase, you saw him. Him, the love of your life or the one who was love of your life, now he felt like a remembered stranger. You didn't know how and when it happened. When did he become that stranger? Was it six months ago when the cheating started or when you caught him? or when you finally decided that it was okay to go forward? You didn't know, and maybe you didn't want to know...
*****
Okay, so this was getting too long, and I felt like it would be frustrating to read this much so there will be a part 2 soon, soon in my terms as when I start writing as my exams are coming but it will be soon I hope you enjoy this.
Love you guys a lot like a lottttttt ♡
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