#chess rambles

[chessb0r3d]

"stop wearing headphones or you wont concentrate on your homework" you mean listen to the annoying crickets, the loud water dripping on a rock jist outside my room, and loud air conditioning from the other room, then get overwhelmed and get absolutely nothing done???? and you say its my fault i didn't finish my goddamned homework???????

[hyperactive-encore]

OK SO I think I finally have a direction for this blog, but financial aid might throw it under a bridge and burn it then maybe hit with a bus a few times and then light it on fire again just to be sure and if the fire wasn't enough, just wait for the water damage from putting the fire out...

[chessala]

Self reflection and why YoI is special to me

Last night while lying in bed and reading some asks that @actualyuuri​ received, I found myself thinking about the fact that a year ago, in March 2016, Yuri!!! On Ice hadn’t been around yet. It still wouldn’t be around for another 7 months.

I missed all the trailers and actually only watched the series by chance. I like my fix of sports animes and had just finished the 2nd Haikyuu!! season. I was out of horror series I found interesting and was looking around for something to watch. That was around the time episode 8 had just aired. I had noticed the title before and thought the picture looked interesting. I remember telling my girlfriend (I’m bi) that I would check it out and didn’t expect much.

I remember starting the first episode and actually skipping the opening halfway through because I didn’t particularly like it. Well, a few hours later, I had binge-watched all episodes and was being scolded for not being in bed yet since I had work the next morning. I had even grown attached to the opening

I still can’t believe that was only about 4-5 months ago. Ever since that day, YoI has been such a BIG part of my life. I’m talking obsession here. I found myself re-watching the available episodes during work, checking Facebook for the group every few minutes and writing my first fanfics in about 10 years. Just seeing a Victuuri fanart made me so emotional and it still does.

Thinking back a year, I actually can’t remember much of what my (anime) life was like before YoI. Of course there have been series that I have liked before but only a handful has remained with me through the years.

Sailor Moon - I will ALWAYS love it, it has a special place in my heart

Digimon (Adventures/02 only) - Like yeah, the end of 02 does not exist imo but it connected me with a lot of people I still hold dear even if we don’t talk as much anymore but it is also very special to me. I also wrote one of my first fanfics for this fandom

Gravitation - It still feels special to me. It was my very first (pure) BL anime

Hikaru no Go - It made me discover a lot of things, including my love for Go

These 4 hold a special meaning to me that is hard to put into words and yet, Yuri!!! On Ice manages to be different, very different.

I clearly remember why I liked the series above at the time I did but none of them made me think of them literally all day.

Maybe it’s the fact that my gf is suffering from anxiety and seeing Yuuri fight his own made me feel so connected. I have some anxiety as well but it isn’t as severe and I manage to be the one of us that can support her.

Maybe it’s because we life in a world where homophobia is just so frustratingly present everywhere and in Yoi it just....isn’t an issue. People are being loved and love in return for being who they are. The characters are free from gender shackles and maybe, just maybe, there is still hope for our world as well? Maybe people will stop being close-minded and ignorant one day.

Maybe it’s because the characters don’t feel shallow despite the short length of the series. Viktor is not just the high-and-mighty-pro-athlete. Yuri is more than the angry teenager he is trying to be. Even JJ is not just the over-confident “can-do-it-all”. Those are just some examples.

Maybe it’s because of Yuuri’s and Viktor’s relationship, which is just so beautiful it makes me want to cry every time I see them together.

In all honestly, I think it’s all of the above and so much more.

I’m not blind, though. I do have a healthy amount of criticism, which made me have to step back at times and re-examine my feelings about the series. @caramelcheese and @borntomake both wrote very interesting metas regarding episode 12 and even though they are so different, I find myself agreeing with both of them in many points. It still leaves me hanging sometimes.

However, I am a strong believer of criticism being necessary to advance. What will you learn from praise alone? How will you improve if all you hear is how incredible you are?

Maybe I get that attitude from my line of work. I’m a Video Game Designer and worked hard to get there. I have no formal education on the topic and it took me 6 years in the gaming industry to get where I am now. Despite my previously mentioned obsession, I always made sure to get my work done on time. The way to being where I am now was filled with feedback, both good and bad and I can only say that criticism is what helped me push myself to get better.

I love YoI but I also believe it could be even better! It could be so much more than it is now. The series and interview information can be incredible frustrating so I still hope this will change in the future. I do hope for a 2nd season and I hope it won’t fall into the trap so many not-planned 2nd seasons do. I don’t want a series that turned into a fanservice paradise. I hope for something real and tangible, something that builds up on the 1st season and makes it even better!

Considering my intention for this post was only the first paragraph, this got pretty long. Since I don’t have people around me to share my love with irl (my gf doesn’t like YoI since she hates BL but she supports my love anyway!), I am so incredibly grateful to the fandom for creating incredible content (no matter what it is) and also for staying skeptical and expressing dislikes. No one likes shipwars and negative emotions but what I think is important is how it gets handled by the people after it has been expressed.

In conclusion, all I wanted to say is that I am very sure that YoI is very special to me and that I am very sure it will always be special to me.

If you read all this, THANK YOU! You’re amazing and I actually don’t know why you did but I love you anyway!

[chessb0r3d]

i need everyone to shut up and leave me alone when im walking around the house aimlessly i love this activity im doing walkies in my house i love walking around aimlessly like a zombie and everyone should shut the fuck up like im walkin baybeh i just forgot what i was about to do and I Will Do It Again

[chessb0r3d]

Did you visit the dirkjohn hashtag again or are you normal?

[chessb0r3d]

I need to squeeze my brain like a lemonm.

[chessb0r3d]

There's literally no heterosexual explanation for this.

Is it gay to find someone who looks awfully identical to your fictional crush?

[chessb0r3d]

Dirk and John are narratively connected, while being ultimately separated by death. "Till death do us part.", is a vow used on marriages and friendships, and they barely even MET. The narrative itself doesn't want them to meet because their balance would eventually end the conflict that makes Homestuck itself continue.

Then HS^2 existed with timelimes divided between them. Meat and Candy, where in Dirk takes the role of the Villian, while John takes the role of the Hero, respectively. One dead in the other, separating them, allowing the narrative to continue it's painful existence.