#chess rambles

[officialstarscream]

In the Cars universe do they send tire pics instead of feet pics? Food for thought

[officialstarscream]

If you can’t handle me at my cringiest you don’t deserve me at my slightly-less-cringy

[godsmostinsufferablefool]

my toxic trait is that i'd build an army of raccoons and call them the attackcoons

[godsmostinsufferablefool]

the button will kill you dont press it hey what are you doing STOP

ack FUCK

i hate it here

My home. everything i say becomes a fight. Every little mistake i make turns me into a dumb person they can all laugh at. You don't know who James Woods is? Thats hilarious.

Guess who never got an actual answer to that question

i'm already treated like an idiot at school. im constantly called 'stupid' or 'dumbass' and people act like i dont know anything and im just kind of... naïve.

So I've fallen into the role.

I've become this loud person who blinks cluelessly at everything while everyone just laughs and laughs, and then i'll join the laughter.

Sometimes i just sit in my room and laugh, because, i've got to practice, right? Let the people see that i'm just some clueless person who doesn't really know much on anything. Sometimes this laughing is for no reason, and it makes me feel insane.

And I hate it. But I can't stop.

Whenever I'm not talking or saying some stupid shit,, everyone's like 'whats wrong?' or 'you're acting weird'. I'll always reply with something stupid like 'just thinking about arson!' or 'brian's talking to me'

I'm lying.

When I was younger, I always thought the comic relief characters were cool, and funny. I never said i wanted to be one. I didnt want to be that stupid character in someone's life who they just brush off. I wanted to be someone important, someone they can go to for help.

Sometimes I'll try to act normal around them. Sometimes i won't make those stupid jokes. Then the anxiety kicks in.

they hate me

this isn't who they think you are

Look at you, you sad sack of shit.

You're overreacting.

Look, they're leaving

Out comes another joke.

[godsmostinsufferablefool]

GUYS THIS IS AMAZING ITS GETTING NICER AND WARMER OUT SO MY DEPRESSION WON'T BE AS BAD AND IM STARTING DRAMA CLASSES SOON AND AND-

[hyperactive-encore]

University is hard, holy cow. I'm in this constant state of "I wanna drop out. No, I really don't. I wanna change my major. No, I don't. I love my major so much, I'm so lucky to be here! But am I?" Also in a constant state of "the system is messed up on a fundamental level and also not built for people like me, help". It's an ordeal, lmao 😭

[hyperactive-encore]

Little life update: My sister and I have gotten into rescuing kittens off the street lately. It all started with Hiccup, our little black kitten. We're keeping him!

We've since caught seven more kittens that we will be fostering and finding homes for. One litter of four and one of two. The first four are with a rescue until they're healthy enough to foster. The other two are presently sleeping next to me. They have six legs between the two of them 🥺 Three each.

There are many more kittens in our neighborhood, so this saga shall continue!

[officialstarscream]

Ah random porn on the tumblr dash again. Nature is healing.