Jun 30, 2024
Inej: “We’re not mad, just disappointed.”
Kaz: “No, don’t unionize us. I’m mad and disappointed.”
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Inej: “We’re not mad, just disappointed.”
Kaz: “No, don’t unionize us. I’m mad and disappointed.”
Kaz, at the Crow Club: “Go ahead, Jordan. Tell Uncle Jesper what you told me the other day.
Five year old Jordan (Kanej son): “I wanna be a Stadwatch officer when I grow up!”
Jesper:
Jordan, continuing: “I’m gonna put all the bad guys away forever!”
Kaz: “As you can see, we’re in the middle of some very important talks at home.”
UGH y’all don’t even KNOW how good my next gen SoC headcanons are bc I haven’t even told y’all most of them
like I have a headcanon that Kirra (wesper daughter) has a lot of sensory issues, crippling social anxiety, and often mutism. But she loves to read. THE ONE THING SHE LOVES AND WYLAN CAN’T EVEN BOND OVER IT W/ HER! But he tries he tries so hard because he knows exactly how it feels to be lesser than so he has her read him stories, or watches her sign the plots to him, because he loves her so much
Jesper: “Yeah, you know we sometimes have to bribe Conor into eating his vegetables, but we’ve been wanting to stop lately because he keeps expecting chocolate after every piece of broccoli. How did you guys get Jordan to eat his vegetables?”
Kaz: “…”
Kaz: “Well, first I said ‘Eat your vegetables.’ And he said ‘No!’, so I said ‘Jordan Ghafa, eat your vegetables.’ and he still said ‘No!’, so I got really close and said ‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, they’re going to come find you in the night when you’re all tucked up in your little bed, and they’re going to eat you. They’re going to start with your toes, and your fingers, and slowly make their way all the way up to your head, and the last thing you see will be vegetables, knowing you could've stopped all of this when you had the chance.’”
Kaz: “And then he burst into tears.”
Kaz: “So now we just blend them up and put them in pancakes.”
Conor Van Eck (Wesper kid): “I’m never gonna go through puberty.”
Wylan: “Of course you will, fox, but we’re a family of late bloomers. I didn’t until I was fourteen, nor did Kirra*.”
Conor, clearly half Shu: “Why does that matter, I’m adopted?”
Jesper, slamming the door open: “WHAT? Oh my god, who told you?!”
*other Wesper kid
I like to imagine Kaz as a dad most often out of the Crows bc like… can you imagine him doing normal day things?
like imagine Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, Bastard of the Barrel, teaching his five year old how to ride a bike?
Teaching them how to cook dinner with one of those little kiddie cooking towers, teaching them how to tie a tie, going to parent teacher conferences, sitting through the weird “graduation” from sixth grade to middle school, agonizing over “new math” at the kitchen table at midnight, throwing birthday parties at the Crow Club like????
ugh I love it so much he’d be so grumpy
Six Months - Short Fic
Kaz Brekker woke up to his wife hitting him with a pillow. He blinked up at the dark ceiling. Inej sleepily tossed the pillow over him and in the direction of the noise that had obviously woken her up.
Kaz sat up, rubbing his face with both hands. Inej woke before him? Ghezen, he was getting rusty.
The noise hadn’t stopped. Kaz felt a soft, grumbling urge to throttle something growing in his stomach.
Instead he grabbed his cane— the wooden one that Inej insisted he used in the house so as to not give Jordan the chance to hurt himself on the sharp metal crow’s beak of his regular cane.
(Kaz understood the thought process behind the decision. It still hadn’t stopped him from keeping his cane with him until the very last moment possible. When Jordan reached and grabbed that stupid duck, Kaz had fought violently to keep his face from the narrow-eyed scowl he’d so wanted to do.)
So Kaz grabbed his cane and headed off down the hall. He clumsily buttoned the top of his shirt back together after it had apparently come undone during the night. He was stalling. Just a little, but still.
Kaz let out a breath, slightly strangled in nature, and raised his eyes to the slotted wooden rafters in the hallway. Six months. Just six short months since Jordan Harajj Ghafa had come screaming into the world, pudgy little brown face all scrunched up and furious that someone has disturbed him.
Kaz had never felt as full of life as he had in that moment.
Which was good, because it gave him plenty of energy to work off during the following weeks when the kid would not shut the hell up.
He’d eventually calmed down, of course, as all babies did, but there were still these occasional outbursts.
Kaz slowly opened the door to the nursery and stepped inside. He was sure the kid was just hungry, which, of course he was screaming about it, he couldn’t very well feed himself. Didn’t make waking up in the middle of the night any less annoying.
Kaz’s cane clicked on the wood floors as he shuffled over to the bassinet. Jordan was sitting up in his crib, gripping the bars like he’d been sentenced to Hellgate under false charges. He quieted as his father approached, and let go of the bars, as if he knew he was in trouble. Kaz leaned the tips of his elbows on the edge of the crib and clasped his hands together, leaning all his weight on his better leg and popping his bad leg to let it stretch.
Jordan stuck his hand in his mouth.
“You are a terror.” Kaz murmured. Jordan hummed around his fist, his eyes still watery. Kaz pulled his shirt sleeve up his hand and gently dabbed at the wet skin. He’d gotten better about touch in the past few years, obviously good enough to have a son, but he still didn’t like to risk his ability to handle water.
“Most people try to sleep through the night. You seem to be trying your damndest to sleep around it.”
The Bastard of the Barrel scooped his son up and headed out of the nursery and into the kitchen. He set Jordan on his stomach on carpet and opened the cabinet to find a pot. Kaz set the pot on the stove and turned to grab the milk out of the icebox. He paused momentarily as Jordan pulled himself up with a chair on wobbly legs out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, good job.” He murmured, half paying attention.
Wait.
Kaz froze.
No no no no no. No. This could not be happening now, not when Inej was asleep. Not again.
“Stop.” He tried.
Jordan did not stop. He bounced his legs.
“Jordan Ghafa, stop it now.”
Jordan looked up at his name. He let go of the chair.
Kaz strode over to the boy and flexed his hands slightly, unsure of what to do. Jordan babbled at him, giggling and bouncing on his legs.
Kaz picked him up. And set him down on his stomach, and put a toy in his hands.
Nothing happened. Nothing at all. There was no standing. If Jordan could stand tomorrow in front of his mother, well, Kaz would celebrate that then.
Kaz hesitated. He gently pat Jordan’s head and the boy looked up at him with those big, molten eyes.
“Very good.” He said, going for praise and wincing at how much it sounded like he was training a dog.
Dirtyhands turned to finish heating up the milk for his son.
Kaz Brekker would spoil the ever loving shit out of his kids, and then complain about how spoiled they are