Nobody is mentioning that Tony's blind in one eye with scars running down that side of his face.
Ah, see, I thought that was lighting, like an anime “cool glasses” lens flare. I didn’t see the burn marks, I thought that was just shading (might have to do with having my Tumblr zoomed out, I sometimes miss details).
chicleeblair
I have the Stealing Harry soundtrack ripped from CDs you MAILED
Oh my GOD. I have only the faintest memories of that, it feels like a DREAM.
tehnakki
Pet. The. Belly.
Dooooo pet the belly but I have to say that while with Dearborn it is Never A Trap, she loves even more to have her armpits stroked. I tried it after reading about another cat that liked it, and she loooooves to have a little armpit massage.
ugh, i know this is random but: is there any reason you never posted Dirty Trousers to AO3? I still reread (and recommend) it, and old PDFs don’t like being converted to ePub.
Oh man, there isn’t, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet and no one has asked!! Now I have a project :). Thank you for asking!
1. i had the "it's early!" reaction because i actually put this on my calendar based on last year's date which is admittedly pathetic, but i do the same for other holiday fic fests 2. i shelved my planned request at the last minute in favor of a prompt i hope you will love as much as i do: the 100 crossover with The Queen's Thief! Bellarke-centric w/ wlw!Raven (which is primary is up to you). also plz include Octavia. au or parallel to QT canon up to you. xoxo and thanks in advance!!
It wasn’t as if Bellamy had any fondness for the previous Attolian ambassador. The man had been appointed before the Thief had gone and stolen himself a throne, and the appointment had clearly not been a reward. Thelonious hated the mountain kingdom, its people, their accents, everything about Eddis, from what Bellamy could tell. As his guard, Bellamy heard all his complaints, and in the end he just replied in grunts, which suited both of them.
But the new ambassador should be educational. He hasn’t ever been to Attolia, has only heard legends of their hard queen, but he thinks her choice of representative will say a great deal about how she feels about her new marriage.
Still, when Clarke arrives, he doesn’t know what to think of that.
He’d assumed Clarke was male without even thinking about it. The name was part of it, but the larger part was her station. Ambassadors are men; he’s never met one who wasn’t. It’s not something women do. It always seemed a little silly to him, as he’s never met a noblewoman who wasn’t as skilled with or better at diplomacy than her husband, but that’s still how it is.
So he’s unprepared for the bright young woman stepping off the carriage, and in his unpreparedness, he does falter.
“My lady,” he says, offering her a hand down. “Is your husband coming later?”
“Much later,” she says, with a tight smile. “I’m not married. I’ve been sent from Attolia, to represent my queen.”
“You’re the ambassador,” he says, flat.
“I am. Clarke, of House Griffin. And you are—“
He swallows, pulls himself together. If she’s lying, he’ll find out soon, and in the meantime, there’s no harm in being polite. Eddis won’t fault him for that, even if he’s being deceived.
“Bellamy. I’ll be your personal guard while you’re in the court here. Unless you have objections.”
“Do all ambassadors have personal guards in Eddis?”
“They do. I also served your predecessor.”
To his surprise, she snorts, a soft, unladylike sound that she doesn’t seem to have meant to let out. “You have my condolences.”
He smiles too. “Appreciated. May I show you to your room?”
“Please,” she says. “Thank you.”
It’s not much to go on, but Bellamy still can’t hoping she really is the new ambassador. She seems much better than the last one.
*
“So, how’s the new ambassador?” Raven asks, when he gets to the tavern that night.
“A woman,” he says.
She blinks. “A woman?”
“It makes sense, I suppose,” he says. He’s been thinking it over. “Why wouldn’t a queen send a woman to another queen? If we’re going to have women ruling, we should have other women in positions of political power.”
Gina passes him a cup of wine. “What did Eddis say?”
“Nothing. I assume she knew and didn’t tell me. I assume she had someone reporting back to her so she’d be able to imagine the expression on my face.”
“That sounds like her,” Raven agrees. She isn’t as closely related to the queen as Bellamy is, but she’s still part of the court. They’re all cousins, more or less, one way or another. And Raven’s brilliant; Eddis knows better than to waste a mind so useful as hers. “How is she aside from being a woman?”
“Nothing wrong with her so far. Polite to me and to the queen, no muttered asides about how uncivilized our mountain is, so an improvement over the last one.” He shrugs. “Still an Attolian, so I guess we’ll find out.”
“Still,” says Gina, with a smile. “To being better than the last one.”
It’s a good hope to drink to. “To being better than the last one.”
*
Guarding Clarke is very much like guarding Thelonious was, at least in broad strokes. He’s with her throughout the day, some strange combination of protector and assistant. Not that she doesn’t have an actual assistant, a quiet, somewhat sarcastic Attolian named Monty, but they’re still learning their way around the palace, and sometimes it’s simpler for Bellamy to do errands than it is to try to explain to Monty how to do them himself. And Monty always comes with him, learns for next time, so Bellamy doesn’t mind.
The biggest difference is that Bellamy’s counterpart, the one who guards Clarke’s rooms on the night shift, is no longer Miller, but Octavia, a nod to the impropriety of having a man guard a woman as intimately as he used to guard the ambassador. That rule has always been a bit odd to Bellamy–the only difference between his guarding Clarke and Eddis is how many rooms they have between where he stands and where the women sleep, to say nothing of the incorrect assumption that he couldn’t have inappropriate interest in a man he was guarding–but in this case, he’s grateful for it. His sister would have joined the army in a second if she was a boy, and she’s giddy to finally have a role as a combatant. For that alone, he’d like Clarke.
But that’s far from the only reason. Because that’s the real biggest difference, the one that worries him. He likes Clarke. Not just for an Attolian, not for someone he’s being made to spend time with, but without qualifications. She’s sharp and quick, smiles at his muttered comments, seems to value his opinions when she asks for them. It’s hard for him to really feel as if he trusts her–she’s a diplomat, and a foreign diplomat at that–but he’s coming dangerously close.
Which is why, when she says, “Isn’t there anything fun to do in Eddis?” he doesn’t immediately bristle.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks instead.
She huffs. “I’ve been here for two months, and so far all I’ve done is read, attend meetings, and be glared at and flirted with at state dinners. Is there something else I could be doing?”
“I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask, I’m just a guard.”
“You are not,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You and the queen are cousins.”
“That’s nothing special in Eddis. And I hate the court. I’m much happier being a soldier than a noble.”
“And what do soldiers do for fun?”
He thinks that over. “Two things.”
“Just two?” she teases. “How are you not bored?”
“Two things I think you’d want to do. And that aren’t reading,” he adds. “I read a lot.”
“Of course you do. What are the other two?”
“Exploring and drinking.”
“Those sound perfect,” says Clarke. “When can we start?”
He grabs Octavia, just for appearances’ sake, so it won’t be him and Clarke alone, and while his sister grumbles a little about losing her day, he knows she doesn’t really mind. Lincoln’s one of the queen’s guards, and he’ll be spending the day with Eddis; Octavia likes having things to do. She’s never been as interested in history as Bellamy has, preferring myth and legend to fact, but Bellamy learned the stories of Eddis from the thief’s mother, and once Clarke finds out he knows about the old gods and where the temples were supposed to come from, she wants to hear those stories too.
He manages to keep her amused with those trips for another month, and then she says, “What about drinking?”
“I was under the impression you drank at dinner. Better wine that I get, I’m sure.”
“Bellamy.”
“You want to come to a tavern in the city with me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He’d say he assumed she didn’t like it, but he remembers the Thief smuggling his cousin who is Eddis but wasn’t back then out of the palace so she could have a break from court intrigue and in-fighting.
Everyone needs a break sometimes.
“Stay here,” he tells her. “I’ll ask Octavia.”
It seems like the kind of thing his sister will be thrilled about; dinner is usually the start of her shift, and she complains of how boring it is staying in Clarke’s antechamber until the night shift begins and the palace guard takes over patrolling. He assumed she’d jump at the chance to get out.
Instead, she looks him up and down like she’s trying to find flaws.
“What?”
“You’re taking her out?”
“I take her out all the time.”
“To a tavern.”
“She wanted to come with me. If you’ve got something to say, just say it,” he adds, and Octavia huffs.
“Are you interested in her? Romantically.”
He should have expected the question, but of course it stops him short. It’s so easy for him to not let himself think about these things, to turn his mind away from the curve of her smile and the sound of her laugh.
“Fuck,” he mutters, and his sister snorts.
“Wow. You didn’t know?”
“She’s an ambassador!”
“You’re the queen of Eddis’s cousin.”
“We’re all cousins on the mountain,” he says, but the old joke doesn’t feel that funny. “I’m not taking her out to—woo her,” he says, with a vague gesture. “We’re friends. It’s not anything. She might not even be ambassador for that long. Some of the nobles from Sounis are trying to complain it’s improper.”
“And?”
“And I’m just taking her out so she can get a drink, it’s nothing to worry about. Are you coming?”
“Not if you paid me. The last thing I want to see is your inept flirting. Besides, if we’re both there, everyone will realize she must be the ambassador. If you just send her with Raven you can pretend she’s an old friend from the country.”
She’s not wrong. It’s hard to say how bad it would really be for someone to identify Clarke, but now that the former thief is starting to wield power on his new country’s behalf, the Eddisians seem to feel less as if they pulled off a coup and more as if the Thief betrayed them.
All in all, Bellamy would rather she was just a friend from the country.
“Thanks for the advice,” he says. “Next time you think I’m in love with someone, don’t tell me. I’m going to go talk to Raven.”
“Thanks for giving me the night off!” O says, and he glares at her, for good measure.
Raven and Clarke have met a few times, in passing, but Raven doesn’t like actual politics, and prefers to spend her time in her study, doing her own work.
Not that Bellamy blames her; if he had a study where he could do nothing but read and work on his own projects all the time, he wouldn’t leave it much either.
“Octavia says I’m in love with Clarke, so I need you to bring her over to the tavern today.”
Raven considers this. “Octavia had to tell you? Fuck, I thought you knew or I would have told you.”
“Thanks.” He sighs. “She wants to come out drinking. I figure if she comes with you, maybe no one will realize she’s the ambassador.”
“What about the in love with her part?”
He shrugs. “I’m pretty sure it’s been going on for a while, so I can just–keep doing what I was doing.”
“That seems like a good solution to a non-problem.”
That’s not a statement he’s sure he wants to try to interpret, so he just rolls his eyes. “Listen, will you come walk Clarke over or not?”
“Obviously. Can’t wait to see you drinking with her. That’s going to be great.”
Clarke’s clearly expecting Octavia, not that Bellamy can blame her, and he’s not sure what to make of her change of expression at the sight of Raven, but he’s also having this minor problem where he doesn’t know how to look at her or think about her because he doesn’t want to consider what his being in love with her would actually involve.
It’s either a good or bad thing that he’s about to be drinking.
“O pointed out that if you showed up with both of us looking like guards, it would blow your cover. So you and Raven can head over first and I’ll meet you there. It’s safer.”
“And Octavia isn’t coming?”
“Taking advantage of my watching you for the night to spend time with her husband,” he says. “Sorry.”
“We’ve got you,” says Raven. “Don’t worry.”
Clarke’s smile is a little wary, but all she says is, “So, so, so,” and she leaves without further complaint.
So it’s probably fine.
And she does seem to be in good spirits when he arrives at the tavern. She lights up a the sight of him, brilliant like the sun rising, and he has to swallow back his own smile.
“Looks like you started without me,” he says, taking the seat next to hers.
“I was meeting Gina!” she says, as if this is the high point of her month.
“Glad to hear it. How are you, Gina?”
Gina’s smile is a little more knowing than he’s really comfortable with. Raven probably told him that he didn’t know he was in love with Clarke, and now they’re both overly amused about it. “I’m excellent. It’s good to finally meet your–old friend.”
“Of course it is. I’m not regretting this at all,” he grumbles, and to his surprise, Clarke puts her arm through his.
“Of course not,” she says, and he somehow finds it’s true.
It’s not until they’re walking back to the palace, Clarke still leaning on him, the two of them looking like nothing so much as a pair of lovers, that she says, “I really was happy to meet Gina.”
“I had no idea you’d been wanting to.”
“I hadn’t! I didn’t know she existed. All I ever heard was rumors about you and Raven and how your engagement was going to be announced any day. I even asked–the secretary who tracks those things if the two of you were too closely related to marry. Apparently you’re not.”
It’s not an unknown rumor to Bellamy, of course. He and Raven have been friends for a long time, and that’s always a convenient story for people to tell themselves. Wouldn’t it be sweet, if the two of them married? And even he’d thought they might, for a while. They got along well, and they do love each other.
But she’s happy with Gina, and he’s–
Honestly, he’s not sure what’s happening with Clarke, but he suspects it’s going to go well for him.
“I did know I could have married her, yes.” He clears his throat. “I forgot you’d hear those. The rumors. I mostly forget they’re still going around, but it’s–”
“Convenient,” Clarke supplies. “For Raven and Gina.”
“I didn’t mind. I wasn’t looking to marry.”
“You weren’t?” she asks, careful, and he has to smile.
“I wasn’t looking, no.” He clears his throat, offers a smile. “My sister had to tell me how I felt about you. Today. I don’t always notice.”
She laughs. “No?”
“I never fell in love with any of the other Attolian ambassadors, how was I supposed to know I’d start now?”
“Well, once your Thief stole our queen and her throne, anything seemed possible,” she teases.
“Maybe he had the right idea after all.”
Clarke slides her hand into his and squeezes. “I think my guard is off duty tonight,” she says, with a wicked smirk. “If you’d like to come home with me.”
It’s a bad idea, but not a terrible one. He can’t imagine Eddis will object to the match. And even if Attolia and her new king do, he can still get tonight.
As many nights as he can manage.
“I’d love to,” he says, and Clarke smiles, and yes.
The Thief really did have the right idea about Attolians.
chicleeblair replied to your post “myjennieblr replied to your post “would you ever consider trying to...”
dear god Sam, i want it so much i was absenting myself from the conversation and then you said THAT. *grabby hands* if you finished the actual verse i’d love to see more of what you did with werewolf rights but honestly originalfic could be SO cool
Well, there’s no reason I couldn’t still address werewolf rights -- it would be an original fic but not a non-magical one. The idea of the hidden magical world within the exterior muggle world would remain intact, and there could still be werewolves and anti-werewolf prejudice.
The most major shift I’m considering is moving it from Britain to New England. A part of this would be more pointedly demonstrating the conservatism of the magical world -- if you take a culture like the wizarding world, base it on having stagnated a hundred and fifty years ago in old money Boston Brahmin culture (”Where the Lowells talk to the Cabots / and the Cabots talk only to God”) and then contrast that with more liberal modern ideas outside the culture, there’s an opportunity for some really interesting commentary. And it’s very easy to place an exclusive boarding school like Hogwarts in the region, because there are already a bunch there, like Phillips Exeter and Choate. So you take Hogwarts, you drop it onto the coast, you give it just a little bit of the ol’ Lovecraft for flavor, it settles right in.
Also then instead of Betwys Beddau, a little village in Wales, they could take their summers in Galveston, Texas, which would crack my shit up.
i just reread SH and i’d forgotten how blatant the Good Omens references are—i’d forgotten Remus was involved with Aziraphale! but you mention Crowley following girls into Sandust. I didn’t quite get that...? is it characterizing Crowley as a womanizer? or him causing mischief? or a reference i don’t get? i’ve read Good Omens a few times but I wasn’t in early fandom
LOL yeah it’s so fun seeing people new to Good Omens fandom re-reading Stealing Harry going OH MY GOD HE DATED AZIRAPHALE :D There are a few other Good Omens references scattered throughout my fanfic -- I believe there’s one in Cartographer’s Craft somewhere, and I know that in In Another Life the Doctor manages to actually purchase a book from Aziraphale.
I can’t recall why I had Crowley specifically mentioned as following women into Sandust but I believe I wanted to imply that it was him just being faintly creepy. In the early book fandom, there wasn’t quite as much fanon emphasis placed on Crowley not actually being very good at traditional demoning.
chicleeblair replied to your post “Excited to hear about the Stealing Harry rewrite, and reminded that...”
i was trying to explain fandom censorship issues to my mom the other day, and it made me realize if Those People had Their Way i wouldn’t have found SH when i did. i know you had the kid version but that is... not... what i read first
I read my first explicit fanfic when I was 14 or so, I think? It was the real wild west back then. And yeah I’m sure if I were writing and posting SH/LC I’d be in a lot more hot water for stuff like the kids experimenting with romance and sex as young teens, but like...I was. Most people I knew when I was 14-16 were.
forlorn-kumquat replied to your post “Your tags make it sound like the vet gave YOU sedatives for the stress...”
considering they're indoor cats and you're really strict about making sure they don't get outside, I don't think you have too much to worry about with a late rabies booster
No, but I worry a bit that if I ever had to, absolutely had to board them, I wouldn’t be allowed because their shots aren’t current. And if Deebs did flip out again and bite someone and her Rabies wasn’t up to date, even if she had no possible way of having it, that could go really really badly for her.
tienriu replied to your post “An intriguing new twist, I think – it appears that if someone comments...”
how do you even mark that your tumblr has sensitive content? I can't find the setting any more.
I think at this point it’s just something Tumblr does TO you.
enthusiasticconsentacles replied to your post “Do you have a latino market by you? All the ones I've been to in my...”
Northwestern Cutlery not taking in sharpening anymore? Last time I was at Sur La Table they offered sharpening services, too, and you didn't even have to buy anything. Sharpening by Dave does the Farmer's market circuit - next one in the city is Lincoln Square on Tuesday mornings.
Oh, they’ll still do sharpening and I might start mailing mine in, but they’re moving out of the city, way out to the burbs where it’s tough for me to get to.
musegaarid replied to your post “hey, sam, seeing as how you're just getting started with the ozyverse,...”
Your plot makes sense to me, Sam, but I take anonymous's point as well. unCourt feels clunky linguistically, and you could still set up a dichotomy without saying un- or non-. How about Court vs. Blanks, or Court vs. Provs (short for provincials) or some other term that still means us vs. them without saying specifically not-us?
HEY, your comment came back! :D It’s something I’m going to be thinking over as I write, and it may be one of those things where I do have to let it go eventually, but....well, specifically saying “not us” is kind of the point. That’s an intentional way that the powerful families in Court keep power. If there is only “Court” and various permutations of “Not Court”, which include stuff like “Well kinda Court but not truly” then they have an extremely effective linguistic gatekeepeing system going on.
chicleeblair replied to your post “Welcome to Boston, home of the bean and the cod. Where the Lowells...”
no they go to Lea! it’s magical, but by either the 90s or now the story is legend!
katestamps replied to your post “Welcome to Boston, home of the bean and the cod. Where the Lowells...”
Um..does Harry and co go hide out in Lea? Cause that might still cover the “tiny yet definitely magical” part of Betwys Beddau. And I’d love to see what happened to the rest of the Mayer/Platter Family in more current times.
Well, I have specific reasons for making it Galvestston as opposed to Lea, but I’m so glad people are so interested in what would happen to the contemporary town!
I know what happens to the Mayer-Platters up until about the end of WWII, though after that it gets a bit fuzzy as the decision tree broadens. I do know that even though most of Wild’s siblings leave Lea, they do maintain a familial presence there and still own the farm (likely now expanded to include Tex Junior’s farm next door).
teogli replied to your post “Welcome to Boston, home of the bean and the cod. Where the Lowells...”
I love my family’s prohibition story about how the Jungle Room was built out on a long pier so they would have time to drop the booze into the ocean before the cops could make it out to the end, and then fish the crates back up afterwards. and then they got busted by a cop gunning a motorcycle down the (pedestrian!) pier and bursting through the door.
LOL! What an ingenious solution, especially since it doesn’t lead to all the dumped booze being non-salvageable.
rionsanura replied to your post “Welcome to Boston, home of the bean and the cod. Where the Lowells...”
can I also just add that there are currently two reasons I ever go to Galveston. 1: historic candy store that sells seasonal fudge (I can't get over their carrot cake nonsense for the week surrounding easter oh my gOD and their peanut fudge in the fall it's like NOTHING ELSE) and 2: a woo-woo new-age store The Witchery that sells meditation cds, mythological statuary, and amethyst chalice-athame sets and is the best front for a wizarding business I could ever imagine
I know exactly the candy store you’re talking about! I don’t remember The Witchery but I had a great time poking around in the military surplus store. I got a communication officer’s radio bag there that I used for YEARS.
wholetthedogdrive replied to your post “Sewing a Duck Bill Mask: A Quick Handy Guide With Photos”
Thanks for the tutorial—I’d tried some with the hair elastics but hadn’t thought to cut them and then sew the ends in (rather than leaving them and sewing a channel for them). I’ll try your way!
Realistically, the channel probably makes for a more durable mask because even if the stitching goes or the elastic frays, you can just repair it, which is slightly more difficult with the kind I do. But it’s less sewing and they seem to hold up well, at least!
marithlizard replied to your post “The Stealing Harry post reminds me.. eons ago, I got the kid-friendly...”
hm! @copperbadge is the kid-friendly version available somewhere, by chance, or might you be willing to share it? I know a smol who loves HP and wants more stories to read.
It is, yes! I want to note that I do strongly recommend reading this version before sharing it with any little ones to make sure in your opinion it’s still appropriate. The explicit sex has been cut out but all the relationships (including some slightly risque physical affection) and violence remain, and some of the violence might be unsettling depending on the kid.
Stealing Harry, Kid Friendly Version
fatfemme-inist replied to your post “chicleeblair replied to your post “myjennieblr replied to your post...”
No one would leave New England for TX in the summer. That gives you the absolute worst of both climates with bonus fall leaves?
Well, it’s not exactly voluntary, much like it wasn’t when they moved to Rhos y Beddau. Fortunately they’ll be back to New England for the school terms. I’m planning to shift “Hogwarts” to a secret Wizarding village in the elbow of Cape Cod. :D
chicleeblair replied to your post “The Mysterious Fistbump is ready to punch a virus in the face.(Don’t...”
alright bugeyes
DELIBERATE bugeyes! :D
swallowtailkite replied to your photoset “Went for a walk in a pandemic-based video game today. (Appropriately...”
...your libraries need to specify that guns are not allowed?
As Mem said, there are city ordinances involved, but I also wanted to add that you see those stickers everywhere. The bubble-tea shop across the street has one too, and the bar down the block. On non-city buildings they refer specifically to concealed carry -- basically anyone can put one on their door and that means you can’t bring a gun of any kind inside -- but I think they’re also treated as a sort of public awareness campaign. Chicago has a significant gun violence problem and alongside being a legal notice, they’re also a sign of “hey we don’t support people shooting each other”.
eviljy replied to your photoset “Went for a walk in a pandemic-based video game today. (Appropriately...”
The Miller's Pub photo looks like a painting. I love it!
