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Day 957

One of the hardest things I did today was turn off my music.

It’s at this point I should face the reality that music can make my brain worse rather than better. This isn’t a surprise as music can fuel maladaptive daydreaming. However, these days, I also find it difficult to work without music. The compromise would be to work with primarily background music rather than lyrical music.

A thing I don’t do often enough, despite having two computer programs with background music and several Youtube channels that I follow.

As for why turn off music completely instead of using background music, I am still trying to take chill out moments for myself. For those not familiar, this is a time where I will sit outside and exist. I am allowed to take a drink or snack with me, but I am not allowed to play on my phone, listen to music, or read anything, or do anything other than maybe drink/eat and exist.

The most annoying thing about this, is that while I don’t know if this works in the long term, it certainly works in the short term. Coming back from my boardgame meet-up, my brain was neck deep in some head story or another and was having trouble surfacing. However, I had planned this chill out time from the moment I left home. So even though I didn’t want to stop my music because my mind was in the middle of storytime, I forced myself to stop and put my phone away.

I had brought a treat from a cafe I like and the plan was to just eat the treat and have the rest of my tea. When I do have snacks as part of my chill and exist moment, I try to focus on what I’m eating. In which I discovered that the cookie was maybe too sweet and could have benefited by having nuts in it. But more importantly, my brain slowed down. It stopped trying to run an internal show in my head, which is why I can now write this the moment I sit down instead of taking forever and day.

Now, quick disclaimer, I am on medication for ADHD and I did take it this morning before leaving. However, as many people with ADHD like to point out, the medication is not a cure all, it helps but it will not fully stop whatever shenanigans one’s particular brand of ADHD will bring. It is rather an aide to whatever other tactics works for you.

But yea… I need to learn to take more chill breaks, and learn to take movement breaks even if I think I’m really busy.

#daily blog #chill breaks #ADHD management #I'm trying here