Your fingers held the small coffee cup. The aroma fulfilled your nostrils. Your eyes were directed towards the man sitting in front of you. Analyzing each one of his facial expressions, he was gorgeous, but not only that, he was intelligent, he was affectionate, especially when you both were alone. You felt so privileged to get to know that wonderful part of him that not many people knew about outside the four walls, or while sitting on a picnic blanket on a Yokohama sunset.
“What do you think y/n-chan?" You blinked, once, no, twice, to wake up from your thoughts.
"Emm... Yes" Osamu's face transformed into one of 'Disappointment'.
"Oh no, my y/n-chan does not listen to me!” He pretended to be hurt.
You always imagined him as a strong person. No, he was a strong person. How does he not break? Always putting up this act. There were days when the night arrived without anticipation, and Osamu's fake sobs begging you to stay over, became very effective on you.
You knew that in his lonely moments he suffered, and in a very abrupt way. You had this habit of not being able to achieve sleep when you stayed at someone else's house, because no matter how much "At home" Osamu made you feel, it was impossible for you to doze off at a reasonable hour.
You witnessed how he screamed or apologized repeatedly in his sleep. You used to silently cry, pretending to be asleep, not knowing how to help him. After a lot of reflection on the matter, you came to the conclusion that the best that you could do was to give him time to eventually open up to you so he wouldn’t be pressured to do so.
"You are still not listening to me, are you? You do hear that sound, right? it's the sound of my heart breaking," said oh, so dramatically Osamu
The corners of that Café were decorated with your laughter. "On top of that, you laugh at my pain, aww, y/n-chan"
"You have no idea how much I love you, Osamu.
The mask he wore disappeared, his eyes got wider, he predicted everything, always one step ahead of the others, but he never expected this. He never anticipated something like this.
"I seriously mean it, I love you, Osamu" your eyes were lost in his.
The most realistic smile adorned his handsome face.
"I will never be able to understand what I did to deserve someone like you" he rose from his seat and his long-bandaged arms embraced your figure. And for a moment Dazai felt human, he felt alive.
Anger, rage is what the young mafioso was unloading on the small bedroom they both shared.
He destroyed everything in his path; Rashomon made his appearance as he heard footsteps heading towards him, ready to attack anyone who was capable of interrupting his rage. When he noticed who it was, he stopped immediately; it wasn't just anyone, it was you.
You were not afraid; you knew very well that Ryunosuke would be unable to harm you. Obviously, his reputation as one of the most feared Mafia members and the most sought-after man in Yokohama did not stand up for your opinion.
"Don't do that, don't show up behind me unexpectedly. I could hurt you," a sigh escaped his lips.
You giggled and made your way to his physique; your hands cupped his face. He stiffed. Your emotions and affection were something he was slowly trying to get accustomed to. He couldn't demonstrate how much you filled his dark heart, each of your ways of showing him that you loved him. He didn't understand. You must hate your life so much to spend it next to a person like him.
But he did not want to lose you, not today, not tomorrow, not ever; he was absolutely capable of destroying anyone who tried to hurt you or tried to take you away from him.
"I know that you would never hurt me. What's the matter, Ryu," he melted every time your lips uttered his name. He wanted to give you his whole world, even if it is not ideal, he would do so without hesitation.
He closed his eyes, letting himself get caught by your warm hands on his face. The hatred he felt a few seconds ago, had vanished, drifted away from his mind.
"Nothing, just a bad day at the port" he sighed, now calmer.
"You try too hard Ryu, but what you don't know is that you do everything perfectly well, and you have worked very hard to get to where you are today and you deserve every one of your triumphs. I am very proud of you" a bright smile rested on your face, it was so bright and beautiful that he could swear that no matter how dark the room was, your smile would be capable of illuminating every corner of it, without any effort.
No one had ever told him he was worth it, no one ever cared about him, not like you did.
"I... I love you" that last word came out as a whisper, he would shout it to the whole world if he had to, but his world was you.
You didn't know how to react to so much love. You pushed him onto the bed with a big hug, shouting at him while crying with happiness and covering his face with kisses "I love you too Ryuuuu!
There he knew he would never be alone, not anymore.
The rain poured down like rose petals in autumn, suddenly settling on the roof of the apartment. The room was flooded with silence, tears fell from your eyes wetting your cheekbones and a pillow you were clinging to. They fell like waterfalls, but your throat emitted no sound at all. You were broken, torn with sorrow.
Lately, you were immersing yourself increasingly in that obscure world that hid your mind; we might call it insecurities.
Your fears were becoming bigger and bigger, and you were taking advantage of the moments alone to unload everything. You did this when Chuuya was not at home.
You had no idea how a person as loving and perfect as him could possibly be with someone like you. Is it out of pity?
You were so immersed in your judgment that you didn't realize Chuuya had already returned.
"My love, you don't know what-" petrified he stopped dead at his tracks.
He didn't know what to do, were you hurt? was something aching? Did someone harm you? he was already furious.
He rushed to your body, gently gripping your arm.
"What's wrong? Did someone hurt you? I swear I'll kill him."
Your silent cries became increasingly loud and noisy. Chuuya didn't understand what was happening and the concern was reflected throughout his features.
"W-why? Why do y-you do this?" Your words, filled with uncertainty and sadness, echoed across the room.
" Do what y/n?" he answered with surprise.
" Being with someone as horrible as me?" you asked
His eyes widened with shock at those words, a mixture of anguish and anger took over his body. Did someone say something to you?
"I don't understand why are you saying that" with his hand he removed the hair that was covering your face and placed it behind your ear.
You covered your eyes with the palm of your hands, your entire body spasmed due to the torment that fed your mind.
"Speak to me, my love, please, has someone said anything to you?" chuuya wrapped his arms around you as you rested your head against his chest.
"No, no one said anything to me, I thought about it myself. It doesn't make any sense, you are all that is good, everything any person would wish to have in their life. And me? I am absolutely worthless, I don't outstand in anything, my appearance is dreadful, I don't deserve to be by your side, you will always be able to find someone a thousand times better than me".
Chuuya loosened his grip on you and stared straight into your eyes, he thought you had lost your mind. He couldn't possibly believe you thought that of yourself.
"If anyone should feel bad about not being sufficient as you say, that person would be me and-" your words interrupted his.
"No, chu-" you shook with surprise
"Please let me finish" he settled down on the bed, and you only nodded your head.
"I think you are the most beautiful and wonderful human being I have ever known; I fall more in love with you each day. At times I feel that I don't deserve someone as incredible as you, but whenever I watch you asleep by my side, it is impossible to believe there is a life without you. I try so hard, uf, I work so much to demonstrate all this love that blossoms within me. You are so beautiful, and you don't even try to be, it just comes so naturally. I love you, and I want to make all those insecurities disappear, and make you as happy with me just as I am with you".
Your lips closed the distance between his lips and yours, it was a kiss full of bliss, full of life, full of pure love. A love just for you and no one else but you.
" Thanks for being who you are, I love you".
