Freaks Like Us
*Set in a 1930s AU
Inspired by HBO's Carnivale
The air was thick with the smell of straw, popcorn, and whatever you call the scent of dozens of bodies with dozens of different perfumes and colognes milling about in the same area. It wasn’t a bad smell or a stale one… just a specific one. One that was the scent of home, for the members of the Hawkins Traveling Circus.
Eddie was perched on the steps of his caravan. He was vaguely aware of the distant crowd, its ebb and flow, the sound of individual voices melding into a wash of noise. A cigarette dangled from his fingers, smoke curling from the nearly forgotten butt. His eyes were trained on the wagon across from him, the one belonging to management. Eddie had seen Hopper, the owner of the circus, leading two figures into his wagon almost half an hour ago. He’d gotten only a glimpse of the newbies– a man and a woman, he guessed, based on clothing. Related, possibly married, since they were together. But new figures were always a point of interest.
The door to Hopper’s caravan swung open. Eddie’s bouncing leg stilled, his eyes honed in on the shadowy doorframe.
Hopper’s large figure emerged first, his grizzled, stubbled face contorting slightly as he squinted in the brilliant midday sun. He clomped down the three steps, holding the faded wooden door open for the other two.
Eddie watched as they stepped down onto the dry grass; a young man first, his brown hair overly fluffy, an intriguing shape even in the heat. The other was a young woman, her hair twisted into a thick braid that draped down her spine. Both were modestly dressed; he in worn grey slacks with a patch on one knee, her in a colorful skirt that brushed the tops of her feet with every step. Both wore slightly dingy white shirts, a trail of pearlescent buttons trailing down their torsos– Eddie wondered if hers was a hand-me-down from the gentleman.
He was still too far away to hear the individual words Hopper was saying, his voice a low rumble. But the fact that his face wasn’t adorned with its typical scowl made Eddie think it was a good conversation they were having. This was solidified when Hopper held a hand out, shaking first the young man’s hand, then the woman’s. The two strangers’ faces were bright, a small wash of relief passing over both of them.
Hopper turned, his steely eyes landing on Eddie. “Munson,” he called. “Get over here.”
Eddie stubbed the cigarette out and slipped off the step, crossing the short distance in a few strides. “Hopp?”
“These are the Harringtons, Steve and Y/N. They’re gonna be joining us. Get them set up in wagon twelve, would you?” The large man turned towards the Harringtons. “As I said, it’ll be bare bones for a while, until we can get you some adequate supplies. Mattresses on the floor; a chair, if you’re lucky. And don’t think too hard about the stains on the dishware.”
The young man, Steve, nodded. “Of course. Thank you.”
“Where should I put the rest of the stuff from wagon twelve?” Eddie asked. Wagon twelve had been a dedicated storage location for the last few months– who knew what treasures (or garbage) lay within?
“Anything that’s completely broken, get rid of. Everything else, just… distribute among the trucks. Or see if anyone would be willing to hold on to something.”
“We don’t want to be a bother,” you said. “Honestly, we’re fine with sleeping among the stored items.”
A flicker of something– perhaps concern, perhaps sympathy, perhaps just indigestion– crossed Hopper’s face. He grunted. “Fine. You all can decide what you’re willing to work with.” And with those parting words of wisdom, Hopper turned and headed back towards the main causeway, soon disappearing into the crowd.
“Come on,” Eddie said, turning and leading the way towards wagon twelve. He heard the crunching of footsteps behind him, the steps light, careful, equally matching his. “So,” he said, turning and glancing at the newbies over his shoulder. “Hopp let you in. You must be good. What do you do?”
“Trapeze,” you said. “And acrobatics.”
Eddie was surprised. The circus hadn’t had acrobats since the highwire incident half a decade ago. Hopper had sworn never to hire any others, but he’d never gotten rid of the setup: the wire, the bars, the net. Eddie knew the older man had kept it in the vague hope that maybe someday there would be a high-flying act once again (or maybe he was just too cheap to toss them). “Flyers, huh? Good. We’ve been missing that for a while now.” He studied the pair again, a closer examination. They had the stature– lithe, yet strong. Straight-backed, loose-limbed. The way they walked beside each other, stepping forward on the same leg at the same time, spoke to their connection, something that ran deep enough they didn’t have to communicate with words. “You two been working together long?”
A smile tugged at Steve’s mouth. “All our lives.”
Eddie paused. “Siblings?”
“Twins.”
He couldn’t explain it, but something joyful thrummed through Eddie’s chest. You weren’t hitched to Steve, at least in a romantic sense. And there was a good chance you weren’t attached to anyone else if you were willing to run away with the circus. “Twins,” he said slowly with a grin. “Nature’s freaks. So you were destined to join a circus from the very beginning.”
He stopped in front of wagon twelve, a wooden monstrosity with faded green and orange walls. The paint had chipped over the years, the Hawkins logo on the side merely a hint of what it had been originally. Eddie bounded up the steps and pulled open the door, a rush of stale air billowing out. He peered into the gloom, the shadowy figures of unused furniture slowly taking shape. “Time to see what Hopp’s been lugging around for a decade.”
Eddie heard the soft thumps of your two overstuffed canvas bags being set in the grass before you climbed up beside him. The three of you began the slow process of moving things around; some stuff, like the dresser that was missing a drawer, was pushed to the side– you and Steve could use it. Other things, like the rolled-up banners for long-departed carnies, would go to Hopp’s caravan, for sentimentality’s sake. Only a few items were beyond repair, which Eddie tossed; a mound of wood, glass, and cloth soon piled on the ground.
The inside of the wagon was still cluttered, pieces of furniture stacked atop each other, but in a less precarious way than before. Two flimsy mattresses had been unearthed, taking up a majority of the floor. A gas lamp with a cracked shade sat on one of the last remaining flat surfaces, its dim light throwing tall shadows across the interior. Steve brought your bags in and set them on one of the mattresses with a sense of something similar to reverence.
“Well,” Eddie said, brushing his hands against his pants, wiping dirt from his palms. “Home sweet home.” He glanced out the door of the wagon, the last of the sun’s rays pouring in, the precursor to evening. “You two want to meet the rest of the freaks?”
“Aren’t they… busy?” you asked.
Eddie shrugged. “Last night of the circus is always hit or miss. Sometimes, we get flooded, people not wanting to miss the experience. Other times, it’s a ghost town, only one or two stragglers with nowhere else to go.” He exited the wagon, pausing on the steps. “Besides, if you’re going to be travelling with us, you might as well get acquainted.”
Turning his head, Eddie saw you and Steve share a look; a silent message passed between the two of you. Then, almost creepily, the two of you turned back toward him in unison. Eddie watched as you turned the gas lamp off before following your brother out.
The three of you made your way through the thoroughfare, the sounds and smells growing stronger. The strings of lights had begun to flicker on, the whole circus taking on that dream-like state. Eddie led you into a small tent, empty except for a small brunette woman. “Joyce! We’ve got newbies.”
The woman turned, revealing a large, yellow python draped around her shoulders. “Newbies? Didn’t know Hopp was looking for anyone.”
“Flyers,” Eddie said in a stage whisper.
Joyce’s eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. “Well,” she said slowly, her attention turning back to you and Steve, eyes scanning you both. “Been a while.” She held out a hand, the snake curling itself around her extended arm. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Joyce; this is Jonathan.” She nodded towards the corner of the tent, where another snake, a green boa constrictor, was twirled around one of the tent poles, its tongue flicking towards the ceiling curiously. “That’s Will.”
“Steve,” your brother said, sliding his hand into the woman’s. “This is my sister, Y/N.”
“They’re twins,” Eddie said helpfully.
Joyce’s eyes lit up. “Ah. That explains it. Well, welcome to the fold, you two. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.”
Eddie led you back out of the tent. “The snakes are sweethearts,” he said quietly. “And so is Joyce. She’s basically the mother of the group, always making sure everyone eats, rests, the whole nine yards. She’s got a thing going with Hopper– one of those secrets that everyone knows but doesn’t mention.”
As your trio stepped further into the carnival, Eddie waved his hand at one of the game booths. Three young boys could be seen milling around it. “Dustin. Lucas. Mike. They were orphans who ran away from an orphanage out in Nebraska. Hitched a ride with us without anyone knowing. Hopp didn’t see them until we stopped in Kansas the next day.” He laughed at the memory. “Nearly blew a gasket but gave ‘em jobs all the same. They’re good kids, but will definitely try to play the ‘sad orphan’ card on you to get you to give them extra snacks or take over their chores.”
“Which one’s which?” Steve asked.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. They kind of move as a unit and everyone just kind of says their names in a string– Dustin-Lucas-Mike.”
Eddie waved towards a small tent draped in heavy purple fabric, the flaps drawn closed. “This tent belongs to El, the fortune teller. She’ll no doubt try to tell you about some dream she’s had, predicting your downfall. Don’t listen to her.”
At the center of the grounds stood a towering Ferris wheel, small blinking orange lights decorating it. A long-haired man stood by the controls, looking up, watching the wheel turn slowly. He turned his attention to your group when he heard your steps. “Eddie! And newbies!”
“Argyle,” Eddie said, with a nod. “These are the Harrington twins. They’re our new flyers.”
“Good to meet you, fellow freakies,” the man said. “I’m Argyle, and this here is Big Bertha, the love of my life. Isn’t she gorgeous?”
Eddie heard you stifle a laugh, saw Steve struggle to keep his face straight. He gave a small wave towards Argyle as he led the two of you further into the circus.
“Is he… okay?” Steve asked, his voice low.
“We’re pretty sure he was dropped on his head as a baby,” Eddie said. “Totally harmless. Super nice. Just a little… odd. But odd is relative, here.”
A deep, guttural shout rang out, followed by a smattering of applause. As you approached, an accented voice, Russian or Romanian, could be heard. A burly man with a noticeable combover stood in the center of a small gathering of people. The same dark, curly hair that ringed the lower portion of his head also covered his bulging shoulders, visible under the thin straps of his singlet. At his feet were numerous dumbbells, each one with different numbers painted on each bulbous end: 100 lbs, 300 lbs, 500 lbs. The one he was reaching for now read 800 lbs.
“That’s Murray,” Eddie said. “Strongman.”
“Is that weight real?” you asked, eyes wide.
“Sure is. His strength is real; the accent is not.” Eddie shrugged. “He feels it makes him more mysterious.”
He continued to lead you through the circus. As you passed a young man with a dirt-streaked face, hands, and clothes, Eddie called out to him. “Gareth! There’s a pile of stuff out front of wagon twelve. Hopp wants it put in the burn pile.”
The man nodded, giving a wave over his shoulder, as he continued his easy stride.
A small gathering of children stood nearby, eyes focused on a small booth lined with red curtains. On a raised stage danced a marionette, a gorgeous puppet dressed in a vibrant purple outfit, little bells on its shoes ringing with each step. The puppet moved with the grace of a ballet dancer– if you hadn’t been able to see the strings, you might have believed it to be alive.
Your group approached, standing at the back of the audience. You and Steve were just as enraptured with the performance as the children.
“That’s Vickie,” Eddie whispered to you. “And the person you can’t see right now is Robin. She does all the children’s entertainment here. Vickie is her favorite, but she also does Punch and Judy, and she can recount any of Aesop’s fables with her various animal puppets. Oh, and she has a ventriloquist dummy named Spanky. He’s…” Eddie shuddered slightly. “Not my favorite.”
The puppet finished its dance and gave a bow before a blonde woman stepped out from behind the booth, taking her own bow. Her eyes spotted your group, and she came over as the children dissipated, heading to find parents or other forms of entertainment. The marionette, Vickie, was tucked in her arms, cradled like a newborn. “Playing tour guide, Munson?”
“Just introducing our new members to the rest of the family.”
Robin’s eyes lit up, a smile stretching across her face. “New members! Welcome, welcome. Let me guess…” She started walking around your group, eyes trailing over you and Steve. “No discerning animal features… no scars or burns, so nothing dangerous. No puppets, so no competition for me.” She stepped back around, shooting Eddie a quizzical look. “They’re not just barkers, are they?”
Eddie shook his head once. “What has our humble circus been missing, Buckley?”
Her eyes widened. “No. Really?” She turned her attention back to you. “Trapeze?!” She was practically vibrating with excitement. “Oh, it’s about time we’ve gotten new flyers!”
“New flyers?” A cold voice asked, seeping up behind your group. “Didn’t think Hopper had it in him to get back to that after the incident.”
Eddie stiffened slightly at the sound of the voice. Robin’s eyes dropped to the ground; her grip on Vickie tightened slightly. He turned, finding the other pair of siblings the circus had collected behind them. “Billy.” His voice was flat, edging on unwelcoming.
The blonde man stepped forward, a menacing air around him. Behind him, a flash of Max’s red hair. His icy blue eyes trailed over the twins, a sneer curling his lip. “Well, aren’t you going to introduce us, Munson?”
Eddie sighed, stepping forward slightly. “Steve. Y/N. This is Billy. He’s our resident escape artist.”
“Fitting,” Robin mumbled.
Billy’s glare flicked to her. “You say something, Buckley?”
Robin shook her head.
Billy turned his gaze back to you, stepping forward. Quick as a flash, his hand darted out, fingers wrapping around your wrist. Both Steve and Eddie stepped forward, flanking you, watching in distrusting horror as Billy’s lips pressed against the back of your hand. “Pleased to meet such a captivating individual.”
You pulled your hand from his, your arm hanging limply at your side.
“What Munson here failed to mention,” Billy said, straightening. “Is that I’m also a knife thrower. My skills are unbeaten. Why, I could throw a knife so close to your head, it could slice through a single strand of your hair. A millimeter away from drawing blood.” He glanced at your brother. “I bet people would love to see that with you.”
Steve made a small noise, close to a growl, in his throat.
“Don’t worry,” Eddie said blandly. “I was getting there, Hargrove.”
“Sure you were.” The words dripped with venom. He shot you another look, one that you supposed was meant to be conspiratorial. “Muson here likes to pretend he’s the only badass in the circus. Always wants to impress the ladies with his manly attributes, as if he hasn’t got any competition.” His eyes flicked back to Eddie, burning cold fire.
“Enough, Billy,” Max said, stepping forward. She placed a hand on his elbow, tugging him back a step. “Let’s go. We have to get prepped for the water tank escape.”
Billy said nothing, his eyes remaining on your group for another few seconds before he turned, heading off into the darkness.
“He seems fun,” Steve said.
“Billy and Max. Pair of siblings we picked up on our way through Illinois last year,” Eddie explained. “Their parents had died, and Billy had spent some time in local jails– petty things, like robbery, breaking and entering.”
“Intent to stab,” Robin said, her voice hard.
Eddie shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her. “Look, he’s a pill, a bully, but just steer clear of him. He usually doesn’t seek out trouble.”
You and Steve shared another look. Eddie wondered if you were beginning to regret coming.
“Come on,” Eddie said, heading the opposite way from where Billy had gone. “There’s one other person I want you to meet.”
Robin gave you a wave before disappearing back to her booth, a few new children already standing and waiting.
Eddie led you to a long black tent, the front flaps drawn almost all the way together, a sliver of space between them. A banner pinned to one side read Horrors Like You’ve Never Seen!; on the other, it read Enter, If You Dare! “Hey, Nance. How many patrons have fainted today?”
“Only one,” the young woman with curly hair said. Her eyes flicked toward you and Steve. “Who’ve you got there?”
“Newbies. Just showing them around. Had a run-in with the Hawkins Houdini.”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “If there were ever a specimen I wish I could put in here, it would be him.” She waved a hand in front of her, envisioning the placard. “‘And here you see the world’s biggest pain in the ass’.”
Eddie chuckled as he turned his attention to you. “Nancy here is the smartest person in this whole damn carnival. Put together this exhibit, knows everything about what lies within.”
She waved away the compliment. “Please. Anyone can stand outside a tent filled with jars.”
“What’s in the jars?” Steve asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
“Aliens,” Nancy said, her voice dropping. “Abominations. Atrocities.” She tilted her head to the side. “In reality? Two cow fetuses sewn together and half a fish’s skeleton attached to a monkey’s.”
Steve’s eyebrows rose, inching toward his raised hairline. “That sounds… horrifying.”
The girl shrugged, studying him. “So, what do you two do?”
“Trapeze.”
An expression flashed over her face, one that almost looked like it was tinged with fear– odd on someone who made a living standing just a few feet away from a cow fetus. But the look cleared as quickly as it had appeared. “Been a while since we’ve had that act in our ranks. Good luck to you both.”
“If it doesn’t pan out, you want them for one of your exhibits?” Eddie asked. “They’re twins.”
A small smile tugged at Nancy’s mouth. “Would be better if they were conjoined… but I’ll keep it in mind.”
With a small wave, Eddie continued on, his feet kicking up the smallest cloud of dust. “Well, those are the main players. There are about a dozen others, but they’re just hired hands, like Gareth. They help with set-up and tear-down; cooking, cleaning. We all pitch in with those as well– ‘many hands, light work’, you know how it is.”
“So, what’s your role in all this?” you asked. “Besides tour guide?”
Eddie smiled as he turned around, walking backwards. “I, dear Y/N, am master of flame and blade; fire-eater and sword-swallower.” He waved his hand in a flourish and bowed dramatically, never missing a step.
“Sounds dangerous,” Steve said, a touch of respectful awe in his voice.
“Nah; all it takes is training. But you two,” Eddie said, looking from one sibling to the other. “What you do… now that’s dangerous. My ass would never go more than a few feet above the ground, let alone swing around or walk across a rope thinner than my pinkie.” He shook his head, turning back around. “You’ve got my undying respect for that.”
“You haven’t even seen us do it. How do you know we’re any good?”
Eddie shrugged. “Hopp doesn’t just let anyone in. He must trust you. Either that, or you told him one hell of a lie.” He glanced once more over his shoulder. “If that’s the case, you’d better learn real quick or disappear. Hopp doesn’t take kindly to liars.”
Your trio had made it once again to wagon twelve.
“Well,” Eddie said slowly. “Home sweet home.” He turned, looking out at the circus spread before you. “Tonight’s last night; crew will start tear-down as soon as the last guest leaves. And then it’s up and at ‘em by first light. Next stop is halfway across Missouri.” He looked at the pair of siblings, now looking somewhat lost, small. “You two need anything before I call it a night?”
You and Steve shared a look before, once again, turning in unison, shaking your heads.
‘Still creepy,’ Eddie thought to himself.
“Well, if you wake up and can’t remember where you are, just shout. I’m just over there– number eight.” He hitched a thumb in the direction of his own caravan, the tenement a bulky shadow in the dark. He took a few steps towards it before he paused. “I know we seem like we’re just a bunch of freaks, but these are good people… Hargrove excluded. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you two are here. You seem like you’ll be a good fit.”
____________________________________________________________________________
You and Steve lay in the dark in wagon twelve, the wooden floor hard under the thin mattresses. The soft clangs and banging of the tear-down could be heard through the walls.
“Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we… did we make the right decision? Coming here?”
You heard your brother shift. Your eyes, accustomed to the dark, saw his shadowy form prop itself up on one elbow, looking over at you. “You know we did. We… we couldn’t stay at home anymore.”
You nodded, knowing Steve couldn’t see the motion. The memory of your father, the disappointment laced with something akin to anger on his face when the two of you had reappeared on his front step, was vivid in your mind.
“What do you think happened?” Your voice pierced through the dark once more. “The ‘incident’ everyone kept dancing around today with the previous trapeze artists?”
Steve sighed. “I think we can guess, Bunny,” he said quietly, the childhood nickname landing softly.
You knew he was right, but you still couldn’t help the desire to know, even though it was probably horrific. The desire for information festered under your skin, something you kept poking at like a bruise, just to make sure it still hurt.
Steve could feel your mind turning. “The good option,” he said slowly. “Is that they just… up and left. Decided to retire, settle down.”
You nodded again. Yes, that sounded good. Easy.
“The terrible option,” Steve continued, knowing that you weren’t one hundred percent satisfied. “Is that there’s a shallow grave somewhere along the circus’s route, containing a body with a broken neck or split skull.”
A spike of fear, cold and sharp, pricked your neck.
“But what probably happened,” your brother said gently, the same voice he used to use when you were young and hiding under his covers during a thunderstorm. “Is something in the middle– a fall, but not deadly. A broken wrist or twisted ankle instilling a new fear of the rope or swing. And then they just… left. Maybe they found another circus to travel with, maybe not.”
You nodded once more, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized had been sitting in your chest. Of course. Occam’s Razor– no need to create a wild story or a tragic ending. It was probably just a simple slip and a realization that the human body was vulnerable. Nothing more.
“Get some sleep, Y/N,” Steve said, settling back against his mattress. “We’re going to be fine.”
____________________________________________________________________________
The shadows in wagon twelve had barely dissipated in the weak sunlight peering through the high window when a rapid knock sounded on the wooden door. Steve rose first and stepped to the door. Eddie stood outside in the grass, looking up at the new arrival.
“Morning,” he said with a slight smile. His hair was a wild tangle of curls, as though he himself had just rolled out of bed.
“Is it?” Steve asked.
“Told you, Hopp likes to leave at first light. So, you’ve got about ten minutes before they strap the horses to your wagon and we head out.” Eddie’s eyes drifted to where you now stood behind your brother’s shoulder. “While the two of you might tumble and flip around for a living, I figured you might like a heads-up before you get tossed around in there.”
“Thanks.”
Eddie held up a tin mug. “They haven’t packed up the coffee pot yet, if you want. It’s not great… in fact, it’s pretty much bordering on terrible. But it’s hot.”
Your eyes followed Eddie’s gesture to the gathering of people a few yards away. You were amazed– the grounds in front of you were completely bare, all the tents and booths seemingly having disappeared. You could see all the way to the horizon, the sun slowly rising over it.
Steve nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good. We’ll… be out in a minute.” He pulled the door shut, the two of you once more encased in darkness. You pulled clothes from your bags, slipping them on in silence. You ran a silver brush through your hair, one of the last remembrances you had of your mother; Steve simply pushed his fingers through his locks, taming his mane just enough not to look completely disheveled. You both slid your feet into your boots before stepping back out into the growing dawn.
Eddie still stood there, waiting. He watched as you and your brother bounded down the steps.
“Another tour?” you asked with a slight smile.
He shrugged. “Figured you could use a friendly face, first morning in a new location and all. I’m just sorry the only one available was mine.”
Eddie led you and Steve towards the small camp stove that had been set up in the empty lot, surrounded by the milling-around members of the Hawkins Traveling Circus. A few gave nods or lifted a hand in greeting. Robin was talking animatedly with someone, but immediately ran over when her eyes found you.
“You’re still here!” she said excitedly, coffee nearly sloshing out of her cup. “Good. I’m glad Billy didn’t scare you off last night.”
“Gonna take a lot more than his hot air to scare us off,” you said, sounding a touch braver than you actually felt.
The blonde woman laughed. “Glad to hear it.”
Eddie approached, two new mugs balanced in one hand. He held one out to Steve, who carefully took it, before the other one was presented to you. You gratefully took the cup, the metal warm in your hands. You barely had time to take a drink when a sharp whistle pierced the air.
The sea of faces turned in the direction of the noise. Hopper stood on a crate, looking over his group. “Okay,” he said, voice booming in the silent morning. “Horses are getting rigged up. We leave in five minutes. You know the drill– anyone who’s not ready gets left behind. We’ve got about ten hours of travel today, and that’s without any issues. And I want us to get set up tonight, so we can get early morning customers tomorrow.”
With that, he stepped down, his speech complete. The group remained quiet, still for a moment, before erupting into action. You and Steve stood frozen for a moment, watching the flurry of movement around you.
“Come on,” Eddie said, stepping away from the crowd. “Unless you want to be run over, it’s best you stay by your wagon.”
Two stocky brown horses had been tied to wagon twelve. Eddie patted one beast on the snout, earning a pleasant huff from the animal. “This is Striker. He’s a solid horse. You won’t have to worry about too much jostling with him.” He nodded to the other. “That’s Rumble. He’s a little wilder, but he won’t give you too much trouble.”
Another whistle sounded.
“That’s our signal,” Eddie said. He pulled open the door to wagon twelve, watching as you and Steve disappeared into the shadows. “We’ll be there before you know it,” he promised.
