Right, so I just finished the episode and here’s the tea.
You know shit’s about to go down because I’m typing this on my computer as opposed to on my phone....
Bellamy was not ooc. I just want to make that clear from the get go because before I watched the ep and was only able to watch as people live-blogged and were absolutely freaking out, I was devastated and thought that there was no way that Bellamy could betray Clarke the way he seemed to be. But I just want to say that I believe that this might be the most Bellamy that I have seen Bellamy acting this entire season.
Now here me out, while I don’t necessarily like the way that he reacted and the actions he took, I think that he thought what he was doing was the absolute only choice (wow an oxymoron) that he had. His decision wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t indicative of a darker side or betrayal. He genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. In his head, he was stopping a war, saving his family, and saving Clarke. Did you see the man’s face? He was devastated guys. He knew that Clarke would likely never forgive him. He knew that Madi is the most important person to her and that she’s a child and shouldn’t have to bare the weight of the flame. But goddamit he had no other choice. Or at least, in his mind he didn’t. In the scene where he is telling Madi about why she needs to take the flame, he’s on the verge of tears when he tells her if there was another way to stop the war, he would do it. That’s not manipulative. That’s not conniving. That’s Bellamy fucking Blake and his big ass heart shining through. That’s Bellamy fucking Blake and his impulsiveness to do whatever it takes to save the people he cares for.
When Madi tells him that Clarke would never forgive him, his look... damn his look was one of heartbreak. He was very aware of that fact, but hearing it out loud? It hurt him. But again, in his mind, he truly thought that he was saving his family. That he was saving her. And if she hated him forever? So fucking be it because Bellamy is T I R E D of losing people. Tired of all the goddamn war.
This episode was literally like 4x011. Except this time it was Bellamy making the decision he thought was right. It was Bellamy shouldering the fact that Clarke would hate him. He didn’t want to lose her. Didn’t want to risk his family. He couldn’t.
And when Clarke slapped him? It was so evident on his face that he was sorry for betraying her, and that he felt he deserved it. Because guys, he didn’t want to use Madi, but it was the only way he thought he could see peace.
ANYWAYS I have a lot of other thoughts but that basically sums up all the ones I have about Bellamy this ep. And honestly? It was a good one. So yeah that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
