So I got diagnosed with epilepsy last week. and man. since getting put on the anticonvulsant and feeling like me again, I have better self control and discipline than I have in years. I mean, I was dealing with partial seizures for about three years before they put me on the medicine last week, but I didn’t realize how much of my ability to function was being affected. I cleaned my room tonight. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but last week I literally was too daunted by the task to do it. It was too much to handle emotionally. Tonight, it took a little longer than I wanted, but I got it done and my room is cleaner than it’s been in probably seven months. I remembered how to actually speak up for myself and not get steamrolled. I put my stress at a manageable level for the first time really since starting grad school. My only regret is that I didn’t get the testing done and the diagnosis sooner so that people didn’t think that the wreck I had become was the sort of person I am to work with. That’s not. This is. And now that I’ve got my medication on my side and I’m not questioning what’s happening to me anymore, things can only continue to improve.
