Pairing: this has Bucky, Steve, Tony, Loki, Natasha, and Clint (part 2 will have Wanda, Thor, Pietro, Bruce, Peter P, and Sam)
Warnings: some angst, some fluff, a lot of anxious Avengers, bad relationship between reader and parents sometimes
Summary: this has a bunch of characters if they were your partner and were in the situation of meeting your parents
AN: I know I have done a Nat and Bucky fic that’s kinda like meeting the parents, but these are different scenarios, so are still fun me new to read
Steve Rogers:
You weren’t sure why you were nervous, he was America’s Golden Boy, of course your parents would love him
You were headed there for a family reunion, and you were apparently ‘required’ to bring this boyfriend you constantly talked about
Your father was always protective of you, hence you never brought home a guy before but you and Steve had been dating for over a year, it was time
Steve was also nervous, but less than you
On the way there, he could see you getting nervous in the passenger seat, a platter of homemade cookies in your lap, so he reached over and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, you looked over to him and gave him a soft smile
You went up to the door and your mother had opened it, your father standing behind her, “oh you must be Steve it’s wonderful to meet you” your mother then gave him a hug and then gave you one too
Your father gave Steve’s hand a shake and a nod of his head, at Steve’s strong grip
You two followed your mother into the house to set the cookies on the table, the rest of your family greeted you and your boyfriend, everyone was welcoming, especially the kids
The kids were all amazed that your boyfriend was THE Captain America!
The teenagers were even impressed which was an impossible feat
Your sister’s husband also reassured Steve that your father was always like that in the beginning but came around after a little while
The lunch was incredible and everyone enjoyed themselves, you both headed back home happy and feeling accomplished
Bucky Barnes:
Your family could be a lot, you had one sister and your parents loved you both dearly but were super embarrassing, and they got attached to your boyfriends super quickly
This is partially why you put off having them meet Bucky, you knew he was sometimes shy around new people, but Bucky was very insistent that he really wanted to meet your parents
You finally relented when Bucky gave you the puppy dog eyes, and said you could go visit them for the long weekend next week, since you had Monday off of work. He was ecstatic.
You arrived after dinner and your parents opened the door before you even had a chance to knock, your parents gave you the biggest hugs ever
When Bucky tried to be formal with names and handshakes your parents refused, they welcomed him to the family and gave him hugs of the same level as you. Bucky was just smiling the whole time
It was late so you all went to sleep straight away, the next day your sister, her family and grandparents all came over and gave Bucky the same treatment, welcoming him to the family with lots of hugs. Bucky loved it
It was time to leave and your family was sad you guys had to go. Bucky thanked them for being so welcoming and said he was excited to come back soon
In the car on the way home you tried to apologize for your embarrassing family but Bucky stopped you, “Doll, my dad was an alcoholic and never there, my ma worked non stop to give us a decent life and I took care of my sisters for my ma, your family is the one I wished for a a a kid. No I would never change a thing about my childhood, but being there, with a big happy family was nice, and I loved it, and I love you.” You smiled at him and leaned over and gave him a quick kiss as not to distract him from driving.
Tony Stark:
You were slightly worried about Tony meeting your parents but he was running around like a chicken without a head due to his nerves
He had never met a girlfriend’s parents before, you were his first real relationship. Which was another reason he was scared. What if your family hated him because of his playboy phase? Or thought he would just cheat on you?
He had voiced his fears to you when you asked what was wrong, you then told him to stop it with the what if’s, your family would love him, and you loved him, no matter what they thought
You were meeting them for dinner at their house which was around an hour away, and you were driving, you weren’t letting Happy drive you there like Tony suggested and Tony was way to anxious to drive properly
You arrived just on time but there were also a few extra cars in the driveway…..your parents had invited the whole family….
Your nieces and nephews ran out of the house when they saw your car pull in, excited to see you and when they heard iron man was coming with you they were even more excited
“I didn’t know they were coming” you defended yourself when Tony sent you a questioning look, you sighed and grabbed his hands, “we got this babe, I love you” you gave him a kiss and stepped out of the car
“Auntie Y/N” the children excitingly yelled and ran to hug, more like tackle, you. You laughed and Tony came around the car, you smiled at him as the kids ran to hug him too, he chuckled and hugged them back, normally he didn’t like hugs too much, unless they were from you, but he seemed to enjoy this.
You guys walked inside and were greeted by your brother, sister, their husbands and your parents. “Hope you weren’t overwhelmed by the welcome party” your brother joked, referring to the kids. Everyone laughed at that
Your father was surprisingly welcoming, I guess he was just glad you had finally found someone, being the oldest and the only one unmarried and without kids
Dinner flew by, filled with embarrassing stories about you, and some about Tony from you, the kids loved hearing the ones about Iron Man, and it definitely gave Tony an ego boost, for better or for worse
Clint Barton:
Your parents didn’t exactly approve of your career choice, being an Avenger and all, so the chances of them approving of your relationship were slim
You told Clint this and he was very understanding and agreed that you guys didn’t have to meet with them
One day you two had gone out to a fair that was in town, Clint used to be in the circus so he wanted to go, it reminded him of home
You spotted your parents there and told Clint, you guys decided to just try to blend in, this didn’t work out very well when they were behind you in line for funnel cake, that Clint ‘needed’ to try
Your parents were surprised to see you and asked who the dashing man beside you was, hoping it was your boyfriend, “Mom, Dad, this is Clint, my boyfriend, we work together” you quietly said the last part knowing they wouldn’t like that part
“Oh your ‘job’ where you goof off and punch some people,” your dad complained, “oh even better, you’re the ones with the arrows,” your mom rolled her eyes, “you at least couldn’t have chosen one of the good looking, popular ones?” She rudely questioned.
That was your breaking point, you sternly told her that Clint was perfect and you loved him, and if her or your dad couldn’t understand that then they should just keep their mouths shut
Your father just reprimanded you saying, “you know I thought we were done with this superhero nonsense, you are just a freak with a bunch of other freaks” Clint just flipped them off and dragged you away
“I Love you my little dove, don’t listen to what they say” he calmed you as you were now crying, you just hugged him and told him how much you loved him over and over again
That night you both fell asleep with the agreement that you never had to see or contact your parents again, you had each other and the team as your family and that was all you needed
Natasha Romanoff:
You were bringing Nat home to meet your parents after weeks of her asking, you were reluctant not because you feared them not accepting you and her together but because you feared your family would scare Nat away
Your family was over the top to say the least, they were now throwing a party just because you said you would be in town with your girlfriend
They lived over in North Carolina so it was a little bit of a flight
You arrived there and Nat was super excited, your brother and father picked you up from the airport and greeted Nat, you guys drove home and your mom greeted both of you with a huge hug
The rest of your family flowed in throughout the next hour and once you were all there you had a BBQ in the back
Nat and you ended up playing superhero’s with the children, Nat showed the kids a few of her moves and they were all amazed, even the adults were
You guys stayed for the night in your childhood bedroom, Nat found your old room adorable while to you it was just embarrassing you had (your celebrity crush’s) posters up in your room and a bunch of stuffed animals
You flew home the next morning, your family was sad to see Nat go and said you guys better be back soon, especially for the holidays
Loki Laufeyson:
Loki was nervous, he tried to play it cool, and it might have fooled some, but you knew him better than that
Loki was meeting your parents for the first time, and after his bad relationship with his father and the whole New York thing….he was scared and nervous
You tried reassuring him they didn’t care about New York and would love him, and you would continue to love him regardless of what they thought but it wasn’t working
You were meeting at their house for a dinner party with your brother and his boyfriend as well, so Loki then was more freaked out that more people would be there to not like him
Loki spent 2 hours getting ready and asking you if clothes looked good, he was the fashionista in the relationship, finally he found a nice outfit that he felt was decent enough and proceeded to do his hair
Loki insisted on teleporting you both there because he hated driving or riding in cars, you appeared at the front door, and Loki had magicked flowers for you mother, “flatterer,” you joked elbowing him lightly in the side, he laughed, your plan working, his nerves were lessened
Your family opened the door and welcomed you, then turned their attention to Loki, “so, you must be Loki, we’ve heard so much about you” your mom said smiling
“That I am Mrs. Y/L/N, and these are for you” he handed your mother the flowers, no mention of New York was brought up that night and your family loved him, once he opened up that was,
In the beginning of the night he was his closed off, quiet, reserved self but once you opened that shell he was the joking, kind, sarcastic god that you fell in love with
summary: during your pregnancy clint is often gone, leaving you alone for the majority of the pregnancy. when he returns from a mission injured worst than previous times, he finally confesses something to you.
warnings: pregnant reader obvi, mentions of blood and wounds, fluff
authors note: hi bffs, posting clint content bc this app needs more. totally not bc he’s my favorite avenger..no..totally not. anyways, i hope y’all enjoy <3
you had just ended your second trimester when clint left for another mission, you were now showing more, your swollen belly didn’t allow you to fit in your old clothes anymore. it felt frustrating but it was better than the morning sickness. you hated being sick of the mornings. or very very early mornings, when you couldn’t sleep while worrying about your husband while he’s out saving the world. or universe, whatever the heroes feel like doing. though, it was stressful especially for you. sometimes clint would be gone for weeks, sometimes months and with the baby, on the way, you weren’t so sure you could do it alone. he would still keep in touch though, trying his best to call or text you. even if you were still hidden from the other avengers. you didn’t mind it, you were starting a family and leaving in peace. no alien monsters, no robots who wanted worked extinction. just a big farmhouse..all to yourself most day. but it was quiet..that was enough for you.
when you held the test in your hands, seeing the two pink lines. your heart started racing, and your hands began shaking. you were pregnant? now? clint wasn’t even home, he was still on a mission supposed to return the next day. you stood up from the edge of the bathtub heading out of the bathroom with the test still in your hand. walking into the kitchen you set it down on the counter. “oh my god” you groaned, elbows resting on the marble countertop and hands holding your head. should you cry? celebrate? you didn’t know yet. you’ve always wanted to have a family with clint but with him gone a lot it would make it hard, and you weren’t so sure if now was the right time.
“babe?” you heard the front door open, followed by heavy footsteps into the house. “in the kitchen!” you yelled back, moving from your position and looking at the archway searching for his figure. when he walked through, the second he saw you he grinned. coming closer and wrapping his arms around you, you did the same. missing his warm touch, “i missed you.” your grumbled i’m his shoulder. he pulled away, a gentle hand on your cheek. he must’ve caught onto your tone. “you okay?” he asked. pulling away from his embrace, you stared at him flashing a smile. “yeah, i just..uh was expecting you tomorrow.” he smiled, “well, they let me come home early. you sure you’re okay?” he asked again. you hummed, reaching for the white and blue test. “surprise” you whispered, handing the test to him.
he stared at the item, it took him a few seconds to comprehend it was a pregnancy test. he saw the pink lines, one lighter than the other. you’re pregnant. “you’re?” he hummed, looking up to meet your eyes. you nodded. “pregnant” you finished. you couldn’t tell if he was excited or not, he just held the test delicately saying nothing. “i..i just took it..maybe twenty minutes ago” you added, looking at his face now. “i uh..wow” he chuckled, a smile tugging at his lips. “you’re pregnant” he repeated, the smile finally manifesting. he kissed the top of your head, putting the test down. “this is great!” he cheered, his hands going to your shoulders. you had a nervous smile on, looking past him. “what’s wrong?” he asked, examining your face. “do you think we’re ready for this? i mean..you’re out there saving the universe every other week” you laughed dryly. “i just don’t want to do this alone if something happens to you.” finally admitting your worries, even before finding out you were pregnant was one of your biggest concerns. you knew he was capable of taking care of himself, but you couldn’t afford to lose the one thing you loved most in the world. “nothing is going to happen to me” he replied, hands coming to your face for comfort. “ill figure something out. i’ll talk to fury if i have to. you’re not going to lose me. both of you” he assured, his left hand now resting on your stomach. “i promise”
you finished cleaning up the kitchen after making dinner for yourself, while washing the dishes a ruckus was heard behind you, carefully dropping the plate in the sink you grabbed a towel, drying off your hands. you walked past the archway of the kitchen transitioning into the living room. your eyes glued on the door watching clint being ushered in by other agents. “oh my god” you whispered. “where do we put him?” the redhead asked. “the couch” you suggested, walking over and moving stuff around. “what happened” you asked, seeing the blood covering clint and a few bruises decorating his face. “he got attacked pretty bad, held hostage” she answered, helping him lie back.
“i’m fine” he groaned, adjusting his body to the piece of furniture. “never been better actually” he laughed but it only caused more pain. you put your hand against his forehead, “he’s burning up” you sighed. this wasn’t good.
“i can patch him up, that’s the best i can do” the girl offered. you nodded, “please, i’d appreciate it.” you smiled at her, she returned it. she told her everything she needed, you collected those things in a timely manner before returning. while she ditched him up, you started patching up the cuts on his face.
“so…were you ever gonna tell me about this?” she asked. clint stared at you while you worked gently on his face. flashing you a smile. “not really. fury helped me set this up. off files. let’s keep it that way, especially now” he answered, you smiled at his comment. natasha finished her stitches, “you’re all patched up, barton. i’ll be off now, duty calls” she saluted to clint and he nodded. you followed her to the door, “thank you” you smiled as she stood outside. “no problem. i’m natasha” she held her hand out, you took her hand. “y/n” you introduced. natasha grinned, nodding slowly, and headed off your porch. “take care of him” she finished, “always” you replied.
walking back into the house and past clint on the couch. you went to the kitchen, opening the freezer fetching some ice packs. you walked back to your husband and handed some to him. “what happened to being careful?” you teased, putting another pillow under his head as he grunted at the sudden movement. “i was, i just got distracted by a kid. had to rescue him” he answered, placing the ice underneath his eye. “it was either me or him.” you nodded, reaching out for his arm. “what you did was great, but you have to be more careful. especially for the little one” you hummed, rubbing your thumb gently on his skin.
clint nodded, “i will. i talked to fury” he started, trying his best to sit up to do he could see you better. “clint..” you sighed, helping him up carefully. he flashed you a playful smile. “i’m retiring.”
you sat next to him frozen in place, staring at him. “you what? why?”
“because you need me, and so does the baby” he answered, bringing his hand to your stomach. “you love your job” you blinked, he nodded. “i do. but i love the two of your even more. i promised you i wouldn’t go anywhere, so here i am fulfilling my promise”
you wrapped your arms around him gingerly. “thank you.” your voice came out as a whisper, clint started rubbing your back softly. “mhm” he hummed, kissing your cheek. “this is all i ever wanted”
Summary: You suffered from chronic pains, which sometimes even the painkillers don’t help, your boyfriend is there to comfort you and sing you to sleep.
Requested by @thisismysecrethappyplace, hope this helps you to feel better soon.
Any Gifs/Pictures and Songs I use are not mine, Song is The Spill Canvas – Lullaby (i’ve never heard this song before today and it is beautiful)
The pain was so intense this time; you hadn’t had pain like this in a while. Yes, you suffered with chronic pains so it was ‘normal’, if you can call it that, but this felt a whole new level.
Hearing the front door open followed by the familiar voice of your long term boyfriend calling your name.
You and Clint had met at the local coffee shop where you worked, immediately catching the eagle eye that was Hawkeye. He became a regular visitor, sometimes as much as 12 visits in one day, even though you know the Avengers Tower must have a top of the line coffee maker, I mean come on its owned by Tony Stark! You often turned to the counter to see the smile of a particular blonde hair blued eyed boy.
It's the way that you blush when you're nervous
It's your ability to make me earn this
I know that you're tired
Just let me sing you to sleep
It's about how you laugh out of pity
'Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny
I know that you're shy
Just let me sing you to sleep
He made sure you were invited so he could show off at Tony’s elaborate parties, trying to catch your eye, twirling drum sticks and playing songs especially for you. Whenever he spoke with you, you would blush nervously, stuttering a response or your tongue running away before you brain could catch up, resulting in you blurting out the most stupid of confessions, making the rest of the Avengers laugh, but Clint just smiled at you, completely smitten.
He always had a way of making you laugh, and he loved to hear your laughter fill the room, be the one to make you make the sound he could listen to for the rest of his life.
He hated those days you were sad or in pain, he hated to see the tears falling down your perfect rosy cheeks, falling to your top and leaving a small wet stain on the fabric.
He wished he could be with you always, holding you close protecting you from danger and from anyone and anything that might cause you pain, but his job took him away from you longer than he wanted.
He knew of your chronic pain, he had asked Banner and Stark if there was anything they could do to help you, after releasing there wouldn’t be any medication you could take that could help, he vowed he would be there for you instead.
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed
It's those pills that you don't need to take
Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake
I know that you're spent
Just let me sing you to sleep
Clint loved playing the guitar in his spare time, after seeing you in such pain he wrote you a lullaby, a song to help you to relax and sleep.
He hoped it would help, to be some comfort to you. Even recording a copy for you to play while he was away, so he could be there to comfort you always.
You loved your Lullaby, it was perfect, you loved hearing Clint sing, he docile tone was soothing, it had the desired effect to help you drift off, only problem was it made you miss Clint like crazy. Miss his warmth, the feeling of him in the bed beside you, the scent of his cologne.
It's your finger, and how I'm wrapped around it
It's your grace, and how it keeps me grounded
I know that you're weak
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed
Clint padded through your apartment, finding you curled up on the bed, face frowning and tears in your eyes from the pain you were in.
Kissing you on the top of your head, he gathered the things he knew would help, a hot water bottle, your favourite blanket, with himself as Hawkeye printed on. He remembered laughing when he had accidently found the blanket stuffed into a kitchen cabinet, where you had tried to hide it from him. But it was just another thing he loved about you. That made him fall deeper for you.
After making sure you were as comfortable as possible, he sat beside the bed, picking up his guitar and began to play and sing your song, noticing how relaxed you became after a few minutes, your features softened, your body relaxed, as you drifted off to a painless sleep, climbing gently into the bed behind you, careful not to disturb you, he slipped his arm around you, kissing your neck lightly before he too fell drifted off to sleep.
While you were sleeping, I figured out everything
I was constructed for you and you were moulded for me
Now I feel your name, coursin' through my veins
You shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed
Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: the longest epilogue ever
Warnings: Swearing, goofiness, fluff.
Word Count: 3951 (whoops)
“Do we have to go?”
Clint hadn’t even opened his eyes as he grumbled the question into your pillow. Afternoon sun sifted through the window like a beacon. It called for him and warmed the smooth skin of his shoulders as they rose and dipped over a haphazard heap of rumpled linens.
As a rule, Clint didn’t sleep much. Coffee and stress and a hundred half-healed wounds (corporeal or otherwise) made that a certainty. But when you did manage to coax him to bed, he slept like the dead and was more reluctant to rise than a corpse.
“’Fraid so,” you answered, smirking at him as you dropped the dress over your waist to examine it from every angle in the mirror. “I baked.”
“You didn’t have to,” Clint argued. When he felt the bed dip beside him, he dropped a long, heavy arm over your legs. Ever-restless fingertips tapped eratic drumbeats against your hip.
“I wanted to,” you shrugged. “I want your friends to approve of me. For you.”
You bent forward and kissed his sleep-tossed hair. He smiled, eyes still closed, fingers still drumming away.
“What do you think? Does this color go well with anxiety?” you asked, fluffing your dress into a wide sweep.
Clint looked at you then, over hills of rumpled down and bright white cotton.
His heart stuttered as you shoved damp hair behind your ear and gave him a lopsided grin. You sat there, fidgeting with your dress, smiling at him in the late morning sun, alive and bright as a red silk scarf caught in the wind, waving and beckoning to be held and loved and savored.
It struck him that even now, after all this time – after mistakes and missions and trepidation – you still looked exactly the same to him as you did the day he first saw you. You still blazed the same impossible shade of red.
Right then, in your bedroom with its messy and overflowing closet, sitting on your bed surrounded by discarded clothes and sunlight and his nicked-up, bruised-to-hell arms… he knew.
Well shit, he thought, because he knew he loved you. He was in love with you. Head over heels, lasso the moon, walk five thousand miles kind of love.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you challenged with narrowed eyes and an exaggerated frown. “Is it too much? I was gonna wear leggings so it’s not so over the top. It’s all wrong, isn’t it?”
He breathed a soft chuckle and reached for you with lazy hands. You let him drag you down beside him, forgetting about all the places you needed to be. Not one of them held a candle to this, just being right here with him.
Reticent lips pressed a quiet kiss to the top of your head. The sweet familiarity of it brought a smile to your face that could be described as nothing but content. But when you tipped your chin to look up at Clint it stopped short.
There was a hint of a smile, a softness in the clear blue of his eyes. But it was tainted with a heavy dose of sadness. Heartbroken and heartsick. It radiated off him in waves and knocked the wind from your lungs. It was like standing chest deep in a great rolling sea and watching, motionless as the waves crashed over your head.
“Clint, what’s wrong?” you whispered. Even your voice had fled for higher ground.
A warmer smile started to grow. “Nothing,” he said, tugging softly at the ends of your hair. But he still looked at you as if you might disappear, or worse. He looked at you like you were too good to be true and it was breaking his heart just to look at you.
He wanted to say it; say ‘Nothin’s wrong, I just love you, that’s all.’ But he was so afraid of shattering whatever illusion he was lucky enough to be living in just then. In his world love was a tool and a weapon, power over someone. It wasn’t soft, it wasn’t fun, and it sure as hell wasn’t safe. He wasn’t quite sure how to make that word fit on you.
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s perfect. The dress.” He cleared a suddenly very dry throat. “You... I love it.”
Your gaze danced over his features for a long moment, reading and measuring, trying to see what he wouldn’t say. He swallowed hard, with apparent resolve, looked up with a smile and kissed the back of your hand.
“Are they really that bad?” you asked, frowning at his this sudden shadow and smoothing his hair. It sprang back to its wild places. Just like Clint always did.
“No,” he chuckled, kissing your palm when you circled his ear and scratched over his jaw. “Actually, yes. Sam will love you but harass me. Natasha, you know. Barnes is a pain in my ass...”
“Sounds like a long day for you.” You kissed the tip of his nose. He smiled and relaxed a bit more.
“Wanda will send us both knowing looks, which is a little unnerving when you’re not used to it, but she’s aiming for comfort. She’s trying.”
“Should I be taking notes? Should you be getting dressed?” You ran tingling fingers over his bare chest.
“And if I can help it…” he grabbed your hips and with one swift roll, dragged you over top of him. Lithe, archer’s arms caged you in quicker than your yelp of surprise. He kissed you, happily and none too gently. “You will never ever meet Wade.”
You never fought him, never pushed away. It wasn’t in your nature. Your affection came freely, along with all your other emotions bubbling just below the surface. Instead, you nuzzled your nose against the long line of his neck and pressed your cheek to his toned shoulder, glad for his easy laughter. He could always calm you in an instant. The buzzing worries that bounced around your over-active brain stilled the instant he curled around you.
“Who’s Wade? And why can’t we meet?” you hummed against his sun-warmed skin.
Clint chuckled and shook his head lightly. “’Cause he always says red’s his color.”
“C’mon!” you pleaded. A wide smile brightened your entire face, and you nearly choked on your own laughter, it was so big. Clint loved your laugh. It always made him grin one of those loose, dopey smiles that Natasha teased him about.
In the narrow space of the elevator, so close to that laugh and your warm soft skin, he blew right past grinning and straight into snickering.
His hands held your hips tightly and spun you to face him. His sorry excuse for a stern reply crumbled the second you started giggling. His head fell to your shoulder and you let him push you gently back against the elevator wall.
“No,” he grinned, kissing the top of your shoulder before pulling back and looking more seriously. “No. I’m way too heavy for you.”
“Are you kidding me? I have the legs of an Olympic cyclist!”
“No you don’t,” he chuckled.
“Fine, a Scottish Caber tosser.”
“A what?” his nose crinkled. You loved when he did that. The little nose-scrunched frown. He never really frowned at you. He’d still have this sweet lop-sided grin and his sharp blue eyes would be bright and soft all at once, and his nose would crinkle or his brow would crease. Just like it did now. “That sounds dirty.”
“You know the giant pole thingy.”
“Getting dirtier.”
“Shut up, I’m trying to make a good impression!” you shoved him in the chest. He didn’t budge.
“Why not an impression of yourself? No one cares about your squat record.”
“Uh because myself is the fool who got herself taken hostage at a concert. I refuse to live another day as the damsel in distress in your friends’ estimation. Ya know, the mcfreakin’ Avengers.”
Clint shook his head and gently curled his hands around yours, and drew them to his chest. “Nobody thinks that. And what about me? I’m a mcfreakin’ Avenger. Don’t you care what I think?”
“I gave you the Heimlich last month when you choked on your In-n-O—mmph!”
He’d clapped a hand over your mouth with a shush. “No one likes a tattle-tale.”
A muffled laugh tickled his hand and he grinned down at you until he felt a wet slippery glide against his palm and jerked his hand back. “Did you just lick me?” he scowled down at his hand. You only grinned up at him. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“I can’t believe you won’t help me make a good impression!” you whined. “Please?” Stepping toe-to-toe, you kissed his knuckles. He still held one of your hands curled tight to him.
He knew you well enough now to recognize that the bright red energy that he loved so much was an overflow of emotion. It was every sense burning hot and wild right at the surface of your skin. Every thought – good or bad – came over you with equal strength. The spontaneity he loved, the affection he enjoyed, and now the anxiety you couldn’t settle, and the regret you couldn’t swallow.
The elevator chimed, announcing its arrival on the requested floor. Clint groaned, relenting at last.
Steve heard the ruckus as he passed and paused.
First he frowned. He’d been a soldier now longer than not, and even as a civilian, he’d spent much of it waiting for a fight. When he heard sporadic thuds and grunts, his mind went first to trouble.
But when he heard a snicker, then a full-bellied laugh that he recognized, he relaxed. Even smiled, albeit while shaking his head.
Clint always came with a clatter.
“Ow! Clint! No, put your knee up here.” He didn’t recognize the voice, but he could guess who it might be. Natasha had threatened them all to be nice.
A cacophony of giggles followed another hollow thud.
“Holy shit, what did you eat for lunch today? A brick?”
“Just one of Marco’s pizzas.”
“So… a brick.”
The door slid open and Steve stumbled back. From within the elevator two people barreled out as one. Clint was perched on your back, and you wobbled forward for two short steps before tumbling to the ground in a fit of laughter.
“Oh my god!” you wheezed and rolled into Clint, burying your face in his chest to try to quell both the hysterics and the shame.
“Do we need a medic?” Steve smirked.
Clint was rubbing his elbow and shot Steve a half-smiling glare.
You looked up, thwarted, sore, and thoroughly embarrassed. “Hi.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. Clint made clumsy introductions to match your graceless entrance.
“Pleased to meet you.” Steve was raised with politeness perpetually on the tip of his tongue. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”
“Aw, you talk about me?” you teased, tipping your head only slightly to give him a swift peck on his neck.
He shivered and squeezed you tight. “Nat overshares.”
“That doesn’t sound like something a spy would do,” you frowned.
“I’m a spy!” he complained. “You didn’t even know I was an Avenger when we met, I’m that good.”
You rolled your eyes with a grin and reached up to offer Steve a handshake. Steve obliged and leaned down to shake it, chuckling at both your antics and your reluctance to get off the ground.
“As you can tell, I make really great first impressions. And I make uhm, muffins too.” You sat up finally, scanning the area for the bag of home-baked treats you’d prepared for the day.
“I’m not sure they survived the fall,” Steve grimaced, glancing behind Clint.
“Excuse you,” you argued immediately and didn’t even think to regret it. Most people would think twice about contradicting Captain goddamn America within the first 30 seconds of meeting him. Most reasonable people, anyway. But you had never been governed by reason. “That was a semi-successful piggy-back ride! The fall was just… just…”
He looked at you with half a smirk, waiting. Clint was chuckling at your side. His hand closed around yours. Relax.
“The fall was a less-than-ideal dismount.”
“Well,” Steve leaned down, gently pushing Clint forward and freeing the plastic bag full of half demolished muffins he’d been laying on. “Clint’s not a very good rider then. He ruined your muffins on the uh, dismount.” He passed the bag as you and Clint clambered over each other to get to your feet.
“Oh no, Clint’s a very good ride,” you said with a huge grin and a wink.
Clint’s laugh ripped out of him like a released balloon. It came in a sudden burst and bounced off the concrete walls. Steve, on the other hand, had turned seven shades of red.
“Yeah!” Clint agreed, snatching the bag form Steve, who stood frozen and mortified. “And they’re not ruined.” He reached in and shoved a handful of loose, crushed muffin into his mouth. Crumbs tumbled between his fingers and bounced off his shoes.
“I’m judging by this reaction,” you made a sweeping circle with your finger around Steve’s face as he shook his head, cheeks working their way backward through the progression of color you’d just witnessed. “…that I should ease up on the ‘that’s what she said’ jokes.”
“Oh no,” Natasha chuckled. She was walking quietly down the hall, sliding a coat up her shoulders. “Making Steve blush is one of our favorite team-building activities. Hello, милая.”
You waved, returning her greeting with an easy smile.
“It’s not team-building,” Steve grumbled.
“Sure it is,” Clint grinned over at Natasha, holding out one of the few in-tact muffins. “We have a leader-board and everything.”
“Leave him alone,” Wanda chuckled. She gave his arm a convivial squeeze.
“Thank you.”
“He’s a gentleman.”
“That’s what he wants you to think,” Bucky winked as he joined the little crowd now gathering at the elevator.
Clint tossed him the last undamaged muffin.
“These don’t look like bodega muffins.” He frowned down at it, carefully drawing back the paper and fixing a wary eye on Clint. “Since when do you cook?”
“Hell yeah!” Sam cheered as he jogged down the hall. “Road snacks!”
Clint held the bag out for him and Sam looked in, opened his mouth to ask what happened, then thought better of it. Clint Barton might be an expert archer, a grade A SHIELD spy, and an Avenger, but when he didn’t have an objective, the man was clumsy as all hell. Come to think of it, even on-mission, he was the first one with a bruise and the last one out of med-bay.
“Clint, what soccer mom did you lift these off of?” he teased, poking him hard in the ribs.
“Hilarious.” Clint instinctively hunched over to avoid Sam’s prodding. “Assholes,” he grumbled.
The group piled into the elevator, full of smiles and an easy sort of excitement for the day. New York City was a big place and they were a big team. They came together in odd groups and last-minute pairings in their down time. Today, Steve had decided to go to one of the city’s many well-supplied museums and a little group had formed. Clint decided it was as good a time as any for you to meet the family, so to speak.
“They’re home-made,” Clint said, beaming down at you as he threw an arm over your shoulders and squeezed you to his side. You grinned up at him, equally excited for the day ahead. The nerves that had been roiling in your stomach all morning had begun to settle now that the worst possible introduction had already come to pass and evolved into something rather pleasant.
The group’s smiles slowly turned to stifled giggles and meaningful looks, unspoken conversations that you couldn’t understand. The silence stretching on in the elevator had begun to border on discomfort.
You glanced between them, trying to read them. Nothing, of course. A room full of spies and soldiers. Finally you turned to Wanda who gave you a sympathetic smile. That worried you most of all. A wave of anxiety rose like an ember kissed by a strong wind.
“What?” you asked, turning to glance at Clint, then back to Wanda. “What?”
“It’s nothing,” she said softly, glancing helplessly at the others, biting her lips. She was trying to find the right words, trying not to blurt out the wrong thing. She knew how badly Clint wanted this to go well. Even worse, she could sense how anxious you had become.
Bucky finally caved with a groan. “I can’t do it.”
“Barnes!” Natasha fired a look so lethal, you wondered if looks really could kill.
“I’m sorry,” he turned to your wide, nervous eyes. “But these are awful.”
Clint promptly elbowed Bucky in the gut. He doubled over with a laugh, all while your mouth fell agape and all the color drained from your face.
“Quit ganging up on me! I’m not messin’ around.” Bucky complained and snatched the bag of muffin remains from Clint. “Try one,” he said before tossing what was left of his inside.
“I’m gonna kill you,” Clint hissed in reply. He reached into the bag with his eyes still locked resolutely on Bucky’s and shoved an entire fistful of crushed muffin into his mouth.
“Oh my god,” you groaned and buried your face in Clint’s shoulder.
He merely shrugged, and grabbed another handful.
Bucky looked to Steve, who demurred, avoiding all eye contact. Instead, he stood picking at the parchment paper, absolutely refusing to join this conversation.
Bucky’s last possible ally – Sam – chewed on his lip for a moment before he too sighed and tossed his handful of crumbs in the bag. “Shit. They’re not good, man.”
Willing yourself to take a deep breath, you shoved your hand into the bag, grabbed a piece, and took a bite.
One bite was enough. More than enough. It was salty and tasted of raw flour. Every couple of bites, your teeth sank into something chewy. There should have been absolutely nothing chewy in a cinnamon swirl muffin. They were beyond repugnant and you immediately reached for the bag and spit out your mouthful.
You looked around the elevator at the defenders of the earth that you had just inadvertently tried to poison. Some were smiling, some chuckling, Wanda looked at you with only a soft, kind brand of sympathy.
If it weren’t for the cool and unwavering calm of the man at your side, you’d have bolted. You looked up at him, still chewing on a mouthful like it was the best thing he’d ever eaten and you laughed. He was a walking pillar of courage and he was always willing to let you lean on him. Let anyone who needed it, really. He was kind that way.
He was a cool breath, a sturdy hand, the midnight pizza date after a bad day, the guy who ate the muffins. He would be there no matter what. So you would be too.
Natasha was one of the smilers. She dropped her mostly in-tact muffin into the bag when you took it from Clint and held it out to her. The others followed suit.
The elevator chimed your arrival on the ground floor and you sighed, trying to rally your spirits. A few steps and you’d spotted a garbage bin in the lobby. Before you could take another step, Clint’s hand wound around your arm. He took the bag and unceremoniously guided you to follow the others toward the exit while he reached for another bite of muffin.
You looked up at him incredulously.
“Clint!” you balked. “What are you doing? Those are awful!”
He shrugged and gave you one of those lop-sided grins and kept walking, bag in hand while you stood frozen on the steps.
Natasha joined you, linking her arm through yours and urging you forward to join the group.
“Why did he do that? He’s probably going to get food poisoning,” you worried, watching him every step.
Natasha looked over at you. Half a smile curled her lips and a single brow arched sharply. You know exactly why, it seemed to say. She was an expert at non-verbal communication. Probably part of the reason she and Clint got along so well.
“Yeah, I know,” you smiled, looking ahead to him again. It grew into a chuckle, a little watery, like a cup filled too full and spilling over in lapping waves.
“He might not say it,” she conceded.
“Yeah, I know that too.”
“But he does.”
You looked her steadily in the eye and nodded; an acknowledgement and a promise. An ‘I know’ and a ‘me too.’ She smiled and you squeezed her arm against your side before untangling yourself from her.
“Hey!” you hollered until the group ahead turned to look back at the pair of you. Your gaze never drifted from Clint for a second. “My turn.”
You charged forward toward him. Toward the constant calm that cooled your wild energy, toward the shiver up your spine, and the safety in the fire. He laughed, warmed by the ease with which you loved him, and turned. He let out an involuntary huff when you leapt up onto his back.
He carried you like that all the way to the museum and up the steps and inside. You pressed your cheek against his and closed your eyes, enjoying this for just a second more. It was an easy stillness, a comfortable coolness in your chest, as opposed to the raging red blaze.
Before Clint, you’d thought love was a fire and it was meant to burn you up. So you’d chased gasoline and called it passion. Now, you realized that was never love. It was a mirage in the dessert and it was a lie.
In the time you’d spent getting coffee in the middle of the night, sharing pizza with a dog on the sidewalk, and protecting each other from the sting of the flames, you’d come to understand. When you love the right person, it’s not a fire or a battle and it shouldn’t hurt.
The little things were where you’d learned to find love now, not in the pain of a fight and the salve of making up. That was a dance of fire and war, and you’d found something softer, gentler, happier with an embattled Avenger. You’d found the little things. And when it came down to those things, you found yourself fitting together as easily as breathing. It was like finding a part of yourself that you didn’t know was missing.
You’d found a piece of yourself there in Clint Barton and you didn’t ever want to let him go.
“I love you,” you whispered in his ear.
It had been an impulsive thing to say. But you trusted Clint not to hurt you, because you don’t hurt the ones you love.
He turned his head just slightly and smiled. You couldn’t see it from your spot clinging to his back, but you could feel his cheek swell, pressed against your own. He gave your legs a squeeze tight against him. A small action, a little private affection in a room filled with people.
He didn’t say it back, and you didn’t expect him to, didn’t need him to. This love had never been in words. It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t a clanging battle or a raging fire. It was sure, and calm and comforting. And as long as you were both breathing, it would always, always be there.
The end! yay, i finally made it a month later than promised, my b. Ran out of steam. Hopefully I didn’t lose too much of the flow picking it up again so much later.
Summary: Clint finally asks the reader out on a date, and even though it falls on February 14th, they decided not to make it about Valentine’s Day.
Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader
Word Count: 895
Warnings: None, unless you can’t handle fluff!
Challenge: This is an edited repost from my multi-fandom blog, originally written for Kari’s Seasons of Love - Heart of Winter Challenge. My prompt was the picture within the fic.
Valentine’s Day was a bitch, plain and simple. All the red and pink, all the candy and flowers — it made you want to gag, quite frankly.
This year, though, was a little different. Clint Barton had finally asked you out for dinner and a ‘surprise’; you were hesitant about the surprise part but dinner wouldn’t be so bad. Besides, after weeks of him coming into your shop and the two of you dancing around the issue, you figured it was time to see if you two could really make a go of it.
“How’s Wednesday?” he asked.
You thought carefully to yourself. “Oh, uh, Wednesday’s the fourteenth …”
Clint thought on that a moment. “Oh, right. Valentine’s Day. Well, what if it wasn’t Valentine’s Day?”
“Say what?” you frowned.
“For us, I mean. We’ll just call it another Wednesday — except with a date.”
You nodded, considering the proposition. “Fine. But, only if you promise not to show up with anything red, pink, flowery, or chocolatey.”
“I promise,” Clint laughed, heading out the door. “See you Wednesday.”
You waved, already feeling a little giddy at the idea of a date with Clint. And once Wednesday came around? You were completely gone.
Dinner was nice; not too fancy but delicious and cozy. The conversation was good, too. Clint kept you laughing, and you were both able to get to know each other a little better.
“Glad you bundled up,” Clint said as you left the restaurant, “our activity for the evening is an outdoor activity.”
The snow that had gathered in the last few days had you questioning the man’s sanity. The wind had died down, so at least there wasn’t an extra chill in the air, but you were seriously questioning the activity — until you arrived at your next destination.
“How did you find this place?” you asked in awe as you watched people ice skating around a frozen rink, not far from where others were sledding down a snow-laden hill.
Clint smiled, taking your hand. “It’s new this season. What’ll it be first? Skating or sledding?”
With all the anticipation of a child on Christmas morning, you looked between both activities before finally settling on sledding down that big hill.
“Let’s do it,” Clint grinned.
The wind against your face as the two of you sailed down the embankment on a rented sled was only half as exhilarating as having Clint’s arms wrapped tight around you, keeping you from flying off the thing. You begged him to go again as soon as you reached the bottom of the hill, and he didn’t disappoint.
Turn after turn, the two of you slid down the hill. It never got old, and you felt like you could keep sledding the whole night.
“How about we take a break,” Clint suggested after your umpteenth run. “I wanna show you something at the concession stand.”
You nodded, dusting the snow from your backside. The two of you left footprints in the white, glittering snow that blanketed the ground as you made way for the concession stand with a counter set up both outside and inside. With the absence of a strong wind, the two of you agreed to sit outside. You sat on one of the stools while Clint went in to get whatever concoction he wanted to share with you.
“All right, now here’s something I bet you’ve never had before — a hot chocolate float.”
You raised your brow. “Seems like an oxymoron in a cup.”
“It kind of is,” Clint laughed. He set a small mason jar with vanilla ice cream on the counter, next to a small glass of hot chocolate. Although you had been skeptical at first, you were now excited all over again.
The hot chocolate streamed over the ice cream, creating melted paths as it pooled in the mason jar. Clint produced two spoons from his back pocket, and the two of you dug in.
“What do you think?”
“Very good,” you confirmed around a mouthful of ice cream and chocolate.
Once your treat was done, the two of you headed for the ice skating rink. You rented skates, and Clint helped you to the ice. It had been a while since you skated, but he kept you steady, and the two of you were skating around the rink in a steady rhythm before long. The crowd thinned out as the hour neared closing time, until it was only you and Clint skating in the middle of the ice.
“Should we go?”
Clint shook his head. “It’s okay. I know the owner.”
“Impressive,” you giggled.
Clint shrugged and tugged on your hand in an attempt to pull you to his chest. You weren’t ready for the movement, or steady enough on your skates; you wobbled back and forth before not-so-gracefully falling on your backside onto the ice.
Clint kneeled beside you, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m sorry, that was my fault.”
You shook your head, laughing with him. “It’s okay, really. I should be more coordinated.”
“I think you’re pretty perfect just the way you are.”
You could feel your cheeks heat in the middle of that cold ice skating rink, and you knew what was coming next. Clint tasted like creamy hot chocolate when he kissed you, his warm arms wrapping around you and pulling you close to him.
summary: when steve and sam can’t get any information out of a witness, it’s left to clint to get your statement
signed = bold
warnings: fluff
masterlist
“How’re the witness interviews going?” Clint approached Steve by the glass, looking out as Sam tried talking you, having been found at the scene. Steve shook his head, arms crossed, and brows furrowed.
“The others have been fine. Very co-operative. But this one…” Steve trailed off, cocking his head. “She’s understanding what we’re saying but she’s just not giving us any answers.”
Clint watched as Sam asked another question and you didn’t answer. He sipped his coffee, thinking for a second. You made a gesture with your hand. You made a fist with your hands, lifting it to your chin before lifting it up again to cover your mouth. Clint let out a breath of exasperation, thrusting the coffee mug into Steve’s hand.
Steve frowned at the coffee as Clint head towards the room you were being held in.
“She’s mute, you idiots. None of you know sign-language?”
“You do?”
Clint rolled his eyes, pulling out a small piece of tech from his ear. Steve looked at it and then his eyes widened with realisation.
“You’re deaf?”
Clint just nodded, pushing open the door to the room. Sam looked up at Clint as he entered, relaxing a little when he realised he was here to take over. He stood, letting Clint sit down in his place and head back to stand with Steve. Immediately, Clint used sign to speak to you.
Are you okay?
Your face lit up when you realised someone finally understood. You were hoping they would eventually give you pen and paper to write on if they didn’t know sign language.
Yes. Thank you. You responded, relaxing back into your chair. Clint smiled, gesturing back to the glass.
Sorry about those idiots.
You smiled, breath escaping your lips in an almost silent laugh. You just shook your head in response, shrugging as if to say you were used to it.
From then on out, Clint got all the information they needed from you. You shared everything willingly and they got more leads from you than any other witness. When it was time to leave the room, Steve and Sam were waiting for you, small smiles on their faces.
“We’re really sorry,” Steve place a hand on your shoulder but you smiled.
It’s fine. You signed, Clint translating it back to Steve and Sam.
“I’ll lead her out.” Clint told the others, hand pressing to the small of your back. You let him lead you through the halls silently, both of you sharing small glances and bashful smiles as you neared the exit.
Thank you for your help. Sorry it took so long to understand you.
He stepped away from you, but you reached out, hand wrapping around his forearm. Clint stopped immediately, looking to you as you nervously chewed your lip.
You made a fist with both hands, stacking them one on top of the other and moving the top one round in a circle.
Clint smiled but you still nervously signed.
Or Tea. If you don’t like coffee.
Clint grabbed a notepad from his pocket, writing down the name of a shop and then a time on the paper before ripping it from the pad and handing it to you. You bit your lip to hide the wide smile. Clint squeezed your hand gently before signing:
I’m Coming: Part 4, Final Part (Clint x Reader, Soulmate AU)
Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader
Words: 1504
Content/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst, Fluff, etc.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Summary: At some point, everyone starts projecting thoughts back and forth to their soulmate. The reader has been chatting with theirs since age sixteen, but Clint Barton does not want anyone using his soulmate against him so he has never told them his name, but that whole plan falls apart the day HYDRA figures out who they are.
“The conditioning is strong,” Bruce said. He, Bucky, and Clint were watching a monitor that showed the room you were in across the hall, unconscious and cuffed to an exam table. You woke a few hours ago but fought the restraints so hard they had to dose you again. Steve tested the cuffs himself first to be sure you couldn’t escape, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t cut yourself up trying.
“We all remember how long it took to get me out of it,” Bucky said “not to state the obvious, but a faster solution would be good.”
“You said your soulmate messed with your conditioning when she was still alive, right?” Clint asked. Bucky nodded. “Bruce, can you make that… nanobot whatever to turn the gene back? I might be able to deprogram them from the inside, for lack of better phrasing.”
“That could do some serious damage to you,” Bruce warned. “Barnes’ conditioning at least didn’t involve his soulmate at all. Y/n has been tortured into believing that all they want is to kill you. Are you sure that’s a mind you want to get into?”
Clint knew that nothing could be worse than the silence already in his head.
“I’m sure.”
---
It took Bruce two days of round-the-clock work before he had a version of the nanobot solution he was willing to test on you. Clint insisted on being present when he administered it, having refused to leave the monitor room across the hall since returning to the tower.
“One more time, are you sure? I don’t know what having their conditioning in your head will do to you.” Bruce gave him a hard look while he prepared the injection. You were still unconscious, but the most recent dose of tranquilizer would wear off within the hour.
“Just do it Banner.” Clint watched the needle go in, hating that he could still remember your projected screams when the HYDRA scientist had given you the original injection. He walked to the other side of the room to sit down in the corner. As hard as it was to move away from you he wanted to be as non-imposing as possible when you woke.
Bruce sighed as he left the room, passing Bucky in the doorway. “Barton.”
Clint looked up, surprised.
“I thought you might want some company. And maybe someone who can take them in a fight without shooting them, just in case.” The look he gave was apologetic, but Clint motioned for him to join him on the floor.
“I just don’t know what to do when they wake up. I’m their soulmate, not a shrink. I don’t think I’m really qualified for this.”
“Barton,” Bucky’s expression was almost stern “Y/n held up under torture for over two weeks. HYDRA broke them, sure, but I’m living proof that you can un-break a super soldier. They’re a fighter, so don’t you believe for a second that they aren’t still in there. They’ll be able to hear you soon, and I bet you a whole lot that the first thing you’ll get from them is your own name.”
Clint stared at him. That was the most he had ever heard Bucky say at once, and somehow, he felt better. Looking up, he saw you stir.
Y/n? No response, but you moved a little more, feeling the restraints.
Y/n? Pushing gently into your mind, he was met with a wall of cold. I know you can hear me now, I can feel it. The mental wall was raw intensity, but there was barely any emotion to it. You had to be feeling something, somewhere. Throwing caution to the winds, Clint took the years of experience he had in your mind and tore at the wall. You fought him, struggling mentally to hold up the block and against your physical bonds, but it gave out.
Behind it, Bucky was right. Clint Barton is my soulmate. My name is Y/n L/n, and Clint Barton is my soulmate. Clint Barton is my soulmate, my name is Y/n L/n. The mantra repeated over and over until he pushed in to the middle of it.
Y/n, it’s me, come back to me
Clint? Your eyes snapped open and met his. He saw recognition there and his heart beat faster. You remembered.
“Hey there,” Clint stood. He couldn’t hold back a smile despite the situation. Bucky was looking between the two of you, not understanding the breakthrough that Clint had made.
You came for me. I knew you would.
“I promised, didn’t I?” He was speaking out loud now, trying to ground you in reality.
I, I almost killed you, I’m so sorry. It’s exactly what they wanted and I, I couldn’t hear you—
Clint took a tentative step toward you
“Hey, hey, stop that,” he said. “This is pretty much the farthest thing from your fault.”
What did they do to me Clint? They gave me something else and when I woke up I was… so strong. And I can see and hear so well? I used to need glasses, Clint, and now I’m pretty sure I could tell the thread count of your shirt from here.
“We think it was super-soldier serum. That’s what the, uh, the extreme restraints are for.”
Super-soldier—like Captain America super-solder serum?
“Yup. The guy over there is Bucky Barnes, if you know the name. He offered to help. Thought he might understand where you’re at.” Bucky gave a small wave and a smile from his spot on the floor. Clint felt your anxiety and was about to ask Bucky to leave when he realized what you were thinking.
Hey! You think he’s pretty, don’t you? Clint reverted to private conversation.
Don’t you? You flashed a mental grin. The fucking Winter Soldier just waved at me, I’m having a very interesting day.
And The Fucking Hawkeye is your soulmate! Way to give a guy an inferiority complex, he projected in mock jealousy.
You laughed out loud at that. It was the most wonderful sound Clint had ever heard.
“I missed something, didn’t I,” Bucky said.
“Yes you did, thankfully,” Clint replied with a stern look at you. “Babe, how do you feel about getting out of those?” He nodded at the restraints.
Yes, please. You didn’t seem ready to speak out loud. I think I’m in control. Maybe pretty boy back there should stick around just in case though. You sent him another mental laugh at his disgruntled expression.
“Alright Barnes, I’m going to let them out.” Bucky stood, wanting to be ready for the worst.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. Clint nodded and walked the rest of the way to you. He hadn’t realized how much the restraints were bothering you until he offered to remove them. Your whole body was tense. When he grabbed your wrist to remove the first one he realized that this was the first time you had touched other than trading blows a few days prior. He moved to the next wrist, then both ankles and your midriff, not wanting to touch you too much while you felt trapped.
Standing on your own two feet for the first time in a couple days, you stumbled and put a hand on Clint’s shoulder to regain your balance. He was debating between getting a hold on you in case you fell and keeping still so you could control the pace of things when you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close.
Seeing over Clint’s shoulder, you saw Bucky duck out of the room with a nod to you.
“Please hold me, Clint,” your unused voice was a whisper, but clear in his ear. Grateful for the permission he slipped one hand around your waist and held your head to his shoulder with the other. You stood still for a moment, both soaking it in. He pressed a kiss to your temple, squeezing you tighter, and you felt a tear hit your neck.
Unable to hold back any longer, Clint Barton broke down, shaking and sobbing into your shoulder.
I’m so sorry, I tried to get there faster. I thought I’d lost you, that I got you killed, that—
It was your turn to ground him with your voice. “Hey, hey, breathe,” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair to calm him. “I’m right here, I’m safe, and nothing that happened out there was your fault.” He was no longer projecting coherent thoughts, finally letting out a month of stress and exhaustion.
His sharp sobs ebbed after a few minutes. You pulled him to the corner and sat, legs thrown over his, arms around each other, faces pressed into each other’s necks. His tears still trickled down your skin but you breathed together, calm.
It’s over. We’re safe, you promised.
I couldn’t ask for anything better than you.
There’s no one I would rather share this bond with.
A/N : This is a request from @paladin-alby Clint Barton x C.I.A. Male Reader i don’t know if you like it, if you do help me share it please? And @mrgrant9559-blog my first request what do you think?
The first time you stepped your foot in Langley is when you were just 19 and barely graduating from your college. Extraordinary ? Yes because you never know ordinary in your life. Born and raised in fairly respectable not to mention, rich family makes you never experience even the slightest of uncomfortability. Your family shower you with wealth, anything you want you just need to ask and it will be there by the seconds. For some people maybe you’re living the dream, but for you life can’t be more of a boredom than it already is.
Your family never expect you to do something great. Because great is in yor blood as they like to say. And that’s what irritates you growing up. You went to school dilligently, maintaining your high scores and even cut a few years of it. But compliments only came from other people that tiredlessly licking your footsteps. Saying how fortunate you are, living in wealth, having a brain like not many other human, and you have the look. Yeah they never forget to mention the look. How in the world that peole only seems to care about what they could see outside ? Even your family did that too.
Then at the end of your college year right before you turned 19, you told them that you decided to join C.I.A’s Internship. And for the first time ever you see a real reaction from them. Your family was furious about it, stating how they wanted you to continue your family’s bussines only to be let downed by you choosing to join C.I.A. And because of that, you were more driven in joining the program more than ever. Giving your parent assurance wasn’t easy, especially your father. But he made a deal with you, be the top of everything or comeback home and take over the bussines like they want you to. And being the cocky little shit you are you agreed. And oh boy how you were wrong. The group of interns that you were assigned to are bunch of einsteins. Genius hacker, a doctor that could diagnose her patient’s illness just by looking, stupidly brilliant engineer, and there’s you. You thought you were genius, always top of the class in school, finished college at the age of 19, but here you’re just like anybody else.
The Internship proved to be harder than you imagined. You thought you’re just going to be trained in solving cases, paperworks maybe? not being a sandbag for the field’s agents to beat and threw around the mat like this. Self deffense, espionage, and weaponery ussage. They said that it’s a standard that every “agents” should be able to deffend themselves from any possible threat of their assignment. And that’s for you is a bullshit. But then, you promised your parent that you’ll be in top of everything, so you worked your butts of.
Few months after training each of the interns were assigned to their respective divisions, but not you. You were sent to the Camp Peary or what people in C.I.A called “The Farm”. And here you are the top in every trainings they gave you, and surprisingly you held the best score amongst any other sniper ever trained here. You were happy that you could finaly find what you really master at and be happy about it. Not that shool lessons are bad, but this is something that actually interesting enough for you to say that you’re good at.
The last month of the training is when you choose a weapon to be your special skill set. Most of the trainees chooses to be a sniper, or close range combat expert with knife. Again, being the cocky little shit you are, you choose a weapon that nobody cares to even look at. Bow and arrow. Yup reading Hunger games and your obsession towards Orlando Bloom’s Legolas is the reason behind it all. After all you were pretty good at it, given the medals you got from archery in highschool. And that’s when you were 13.
At the trial, the other trainees looking at you as if you are crazy. Side glances and the cynical smirks they gave you were quick to replaced with slack jaw after your trials. None of the target saved from your arrow, and none of your arrow wasted away in failed attempt. And you think to yourself as you passed them outside the trial ground “How’s that sons of bitches?” And unbeknowst to you your footage of the trials were streamed live somewhere in D.C at S.H.I.E.L.D headquarter.
S.H.I.E.L.D headquarter
Clint and Nat just got back from extraction mission in Timbuktu where H.Y.D.R.A held captive a geological profesor for God knows why.
“Wanna go out and grab a shot tonight ?” Nat asked as they walked down the hall to report to Fury.
“I don’t know, my legs are killing me” Clint complained
“Getting old already Dad ?”
“Don’t call me Dad!” He said as they reach Fury’s door. He knocked twice and then entered the room after Fury gave them the clearance.
“Agent Barton, Romanoff, How’s Timbuktu ?” Furry asked without turning from the big screen in front of him.
“Timbuktu’s fine, the profesor kinda freaked out but non harmed. Barton complained about his legs…” Natasha smirked after telling Fury the last part. Looking at Clint and got a hiss from him. “What’s with the TV ? Anything interesting?” She asked
“You’re in time for the interesting part actually.. Sit down..” They watched as the screen shows them a live feed of people which they assumed are trainees.
“Is that The Farm?” Clint asked which earned him a ‘wtf’ look from Nat that soonly giving Fury the same look.
“Wait we’re scooping C.I.A now?” Nat asked
“Not in general, but you’ll see something that I know you know that I like..” At this ambigous answer Nat and Clint shares a look and Clint just shrugged.
They watched as a trainee called Rick or Mick guy entered the trial field. He had a gun straped on his thigh, and knife clutched in his hand. From the stance, Nat, Clint and Fury knows exactly what kind of things that they would see. And they were right, the Rick guy apparently is pretty good in combat. Millitary styled, with a bit of taekwondo and jiujitsu in it. He took down most of the bot coming toward s him in a motions that is so fluid like a water. He took ahit few times, but nothing serious enough that could threaten his life. When the time’s up, the amount of the bots he took down appeared on the screen. 21 in 300 seconds, so aproximately he tookdown one / 14,2 seconds not bad.
“Is he the guy you wanted us to see ?” Clint asked to Fury, but get nothing as answer except for a nod signaling to the screen. When he looked back to the screen, his eyes wide out of surprise.
There you stand at the entrance of the trial field holding a bow with bags of arrows on your back, gun strapped on your right thigh, and knife on your left. He was to shocked and glued to the screen wnd failed to notice that both Fury and Natasha gave him a ‘gotcha’ smirks. They looked back to the screen as the timer start. As soon as the bots are out you retract four arrows at a time, pulling the string of your bow with it, and release it to send them embed in each bot’s chest right to the sensor to deactivate them. You spun to the right and shoots another four arrows and this time it went straight to the bot’s heads. You turn to the right shoot, turn to the left shoot, run to the stone take cover from the firing bots. Pull few arrows, came out from behind the stone shoot. Turn to your back shoot, climb the stone, jump then kick two bots approaching, swing your bow to slap the other, pull out a gun shoot the bots in the head one, two, three, four, till you ran out of bullet. You pulled your remaining arrows then shoot at the bots coming from your front. And when the time is nearly up, one particular bot that has arrow in it’s chest sensor spring back to attack you only to be knocked out with your bow sending it’s head spinning. The sirens goes off, and the score is plastered big on the lower right corner of the screen.
48 fucking 48 means you took down a bot every 6,25 seconds. If Clint were surprised at first his jaw is on the floor by now. Not only him, but Nat and Fury both has their eyes wide. If none of them were so stunned by what they just saw, they would surely laugh at each other’s faces right now. Then the live feed ended, replaced with your bio on the screen.
Fury cleared his throat “So this is what we got (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), (D/O/B), Son of (Y/F/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N). Owner of one of the biggest winerry in the U.S. Graduated from College at 19 years old, IQ number unidentified..”
“Wait, how come IQ number unidentified ?” Clint cut him
“Because each time he took a test the number changed…” Fury explained
“Lower ?” Nat asked
“Higher..”
“But that’s impossible..” Clint denied
“But he did…” He continue his explainations “Joined C.I.A for a law division, but after his first training in weaponery and combat he’s transferred to field agent training in The Farm. And since, he topped every single class with a stable A+.”
“And you want him… in S.H.I.E.L.D …” Clint interject.
Nick just stared at him without giving a real answer. Then Natasha broke the silence “Why ? Of course what we just saw was amazing.. but why ? Does C.I.A knows that you want him?”
“What we just saw came from a boy that spend his life with world handed to him, he doesn’t even knows how to fight before his training. Impecable archery skills, gold medal three years consecutive in high school from 13 years old. And yes C.I.A knows because I’m the one that requested him to be transferred to The Farm in the first place.” At this revelation, confusion grows in Clint and Nat’s feature “Look, I called you here not to ask about my choice, I called you here to give you an order.”
“And that is ?” Clint asked
“You are going to be his mentor Agent Barton.” At this, Natasha get off her chair and walked out of the room sending Clint her famous Black Widow smirk.
“Why me ?” Clint asked simply
“You already know the answer Barton..”
Clint sighed “So you’re sure about this… When do I start ?”
The next day, right after your score was announced, you received your mentorship order. To say you were confused is understatement, the other trainees received their mentorship with C.I.A’s best agents but you ? here in D.C in the biggest espionage organization ? You don’t know what the actual fuck is happening. But then again you remember, when was the last time your life isn’t extraordinary ? Never, so you clutched your duffle bag tighter and head inside. As soon as you reached the receptionist you were directed to go straight to the training room where your mentor is waiting for you. As you walked to the direction she told you, you muttered all profanities in your vocabullary. Training room ? really ? the first day ? your mentor must be crazy. When you reached the door of the training room, it opened automatically, you let yourself in, and begins to search for your mentor. It wouldn’t be hard because the room is basically empty. Then you heard it, the grunts, the moans he released along with his breath and the sounds of metal meeting metal. The sounds itself could make you bothered and exited in the most sinful way. You shake the feeling of, continuing your search for the mentor, bench press ? you asked yourself. You round the corner and there he is, the dirtiest blonde hair you would want to run your fingers on. His arms bulging in all the right way after his bench press, his skin… oh how it looked so smooth with those blonde soft hairs covering it. And those eyes. Oh those eyes are so blue, it has this slightly darker shade near his pupil and I swear it dilated for a few seconds. And I swear it changes color too, it is grey now that I look at it closer. Oh wait.. closer ? You gasped when he caled your name
“(Y/N)… hey you okay Kid ?”
“Uhh.. oh yeah I’m.. I’m okay you’re my mentor…” You flinched internally at your statement, real smooth (Y/N).
He laughed and I swear my heart just jumped out of my chest, this men is going to kill me. He then patted my head and walked past me. When he reached the door to the locker room he yelled “Are you just going to stand there all day or are you going to come with me?”
You stumbled in your way to the locker room where he just entered. When you’re inside you can see from the corner of your eyes that he just walked into one of the stall, and you sure you saw his petitte round butt. Oh My God what happened right now ? He’s my mentor damn it how can I feel this way ? And he such a tease…. Wait does he aware that he’s affecting me ? Oh My God that would be dissaster. Your trance were cut off by his voice ordering you to sit on one of the bench. And fuck you’re compliying him like a trained puppy.
“Hey Kid don’t need to worry about this whole mentorship, I’m not going to order you around like what those C.I.A agents does..” He said from under the sray of the shower.
“How do you know what they do in mentorship?” You asked nonchalantly
“We are S.H.I.E.L.D Kid we know everything.” He chuckles light heartedly
“Oh right I forgot…” At your response he chuckles louder by now. “Are you laughing at me ?” There your pride speaks for you, sensing that it is droped by the seconds you’ve been with this men.
“How if I say I do laugh at you?” He taunts
“Then you’re not different with all those assholes back at The Farm…”
“Assholes? I thought all of you were on a good terms even if you were all rivals ?”
“Right.. that’s what you thought but not what happened. They hated me to their bones, and they despised me, they even laugh at me when I chose bow and arrows over riffles.” There’s a sorrow in your voice, and he sensed it.
“Hey do you know who I really am ?” He asked behind the stall door.
“Nnnoooope…..”
“Have you ever heard of Hawk eye ?”
At this revelation your eyes widened “Shut Up! Oh my God it’s an honor to meet you sir.. I” His words cut off mid sentence because of this fine ass specimen of a guy stepped out of the shower with all his muscles on show with droplets of water rolling down every ridge of his fineness. You visibly gulped hard at the sight, and God those v line and the happy trail under his navel.
When you’re busy staring him down, Clint are now sure of his suspicions, and decided to play a little game on you. He cleared his throat purposely “You’re with me Kid ?” You shakes your head and how your cheeks are shades of pink. “You’re cute” He said inside his head.
“Uh.. I’m sorry I wasn’t.. I … Um when do we start ?” You’re officialy screwed by now.
“Meet me outside in five and I’ll show you around.”
A Fucking Torturous Month Later
You’re panting hard as you rest your hands on your knees. Sweats covering your body, you’re drenched by it for God sake. When the first time you think you’re going to have some fun with your mentor you weren’t wrong. You weren’t completely right either. Training with Clint is the worst torture you could ever imagined. Not only you would see him in all his muscle glory sweating, but those muscle were also pressed tightly to your body. Of course not in the way you imagined where he pound into you to the mattress holding your both bodies close. But in the way where you got your right led meeting the back of your head while the left side of your body is trapped under his and the mattress. You tapped his arms signing your surrender yet again.
“It’s not fair… I haven’t trained close range combat for that long and you only train me that this whole month…I’m great with my weapons” You whined yet again
“You need it just in case… you were stripped out of your weapon. You’re just sour because you could never beat me (Y/N)” He teased.
You do what you think is the best idea at the moment “Let’s prove it! You, Me Bow and arrows, moving bots practice field tomorrow.”
“Okay… But let’s make it interesting. The winner get’s everything he asked from the loser.”
“You make yourself a deal old man..”
The Next Fucking Day
Oh my God I’m screwed ! You think to yourself. You came to the practice field to try to practice first, measuring all the parameters that could help you once the bots were out. And there next to the entrance displayed in the fucking human sized LCD. Barton C. 53/300, Barton C. 50/300, Romanoff N. 43/300.
“Fuck I’m screwed” You muttered under your breath, lost in your own head not noticing someone standing right behind you. It is until he whispered “halo kid” on your right ear that you jumped out of surprise. “Jessus!”
“You wanna give up now?” He smirks slyly.
“Who says that ?” With that you stride into the preparation room leaving him behind.
Clint shakes his head affectionaly “God he’s so cute.. I’m gonna make you mine (Y/N).. just you wait..”
It was hell, the bots they used here are way tougher than the ones they used at the farm. These bots needs to be shoot at the vital killing parts to deactivate them completely. That means you gotta double whatever efforts you put back in your trial at The Farm. 3oo fucking seconds you’re in the field, 51 bots down. You exit the field with thriumpant smile that makes your eyes closed. You hear Clint chuckled and quickly changed your expression to ‘How’s that Old man?’ expresion. He ruffled your hair and entered the field. These kind of gesture is one of many things that makes your heart palpitate out of control. You know he is your mentor, he probably straight too, but you can’t help it. It’s long since you already given up to resist these feelings. You accept that you are in love with your mentor Clint Barton, fucking Hawkeye. You were ready to be disowned as an apprentice when you decided to tell him after this competition. But then you remembered his smiles, his stares, and the way he ruffles your hair. Its all filled with adoration, it means he also have feelings too right ? But you couldn’t shake tose fear in your head that he might just see you as a brother.
You were lost in your head again, and brought back to reality after hearing the sirens goes off. You glanced at the door, seeing him with those smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkled. The sight itself could make your heart explode, then you remembered what you came here for. You look at the score board above his head.
“How could you took down that many bots and not even breaking a sweat ?”
“It’s my playground Kid..” He watched in amusement as you stompped your feet like a child.
“That’s why it’s unfair. It’s my first time here and you’ve been wrecking all those bots far many times before.” You pouted, crossing your arms in front of your chest, and jutted your lower lip in habbit. When you didn’t hear any laugh from Clint you look up in time when Clint muttered ‘fuck it’ and leaned down capturing your lips on his. You goes stiff for a moment trying to process what is happening right now, and a moment later, you find your hands fly to the back of his neck. You kiss him back with as much wants as he showed, your lips moving in harmony as his hands pulled your body up. As you’re now standing, he pressed your body fulsh to his. At the the movement, you gasped and at this chance he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Lapping at every bump of teeth, every ridge of gum and how you tasted so sweet. He pulled back after sensing your breath that is getting shallower each second he kissed you. You both stares at each other while panting hard catching your breath.
“What was that for?” You panted out
“Because you’re so cute all pouting like that….” Said under his heavy breath
“So is that what you want with the bet ? A kiss ?”
“No…I want more than a kiss… I want you..”
At this request you could’ve swear your heart is speeding like a race car. “You..you want me ? why ?” You stuttered not really believing thatthis is all happening right now.
“Because the moment you stepped into the training room the first day we met, I knew already that I’m going to fall for you. And now I’m sure that I fell for you hard…. So (Y/N), would you be mine?”
At his request a tear slipped from your eyes, you nodded furiously not believing your own voice.
“Then say it.. say that you would be mine…”
“I’ll be yours.. Clint Barton I’ll be yours…” He rest his forehead on yours, and you both smiling like an idiot, then your little shit self surfacing “It’s not like I have any choise right ? I lost the bet after all.”
You both break into a fit of laughter, but not letting anyone go. “So since you’re mine, can I take you to the bedroom? Can I show you how much I want you (Y/N) ?”
Again at his question, your heart speeding up if that’s even possible. He asked you before he claim you, he’s concerned about your opinion. Oh God how perfect you made this men. “Then take me, no one’s stopping you.” You kissed him passionately and then part away to drag him to his room.
When both of you reached his room, he slamed your body closing the door, kissing you hungrier than before. You kissed back with the same force, but you give up eventually, you let him explore you, and when he moaned to your mouth, you swear all the hairs on your body are standing. His moan sends you an unexplainable feelings that makes you shiver uncontrolably. He pulled back only to reach the collar of your training shirt and rip it apart. God how hot this men can be, He then reach to your belt, and in a few swift movements yor left on your boxer.
He then grabbed your hand and throw you to his bed. This men is surely going to ruin you for other men. The way he became this hungry beast in the bedroom makes your cock even harder than before. You propped up your upper body on your elbow watchind him as he stripped himself away from his training gear. Every muscle rippled everytime hemoved, it’s the most erotic scene you’ve ever witnessed in your live. He’s on top of you at a record time. Kissing you again with more passion than earlier, you moan instinctively and he slipped his tongue. With all your clothes off, you can feel how hard his muscles really are, and his dick. Oh how you can feel it’s hardnes next to your own as he grind on you. He slowly traveled the kiss down your body. Your jaw, your neck and when he reached your pulse point you moan harder. “Got It” he murmured before bitting and sucking at the place, making you moan louder as he do it over and over. When he’s satisfied with his work, he traveled down his kiss to your nipple, sucking one, and pinching the other with his hand. You moaned louder as you arc your body to make your chest closer to him. He loved it he love how responsive you are to his touch, and his touch only. The thought of only him that get to do these things on you makes him growl on your nipple, elicting a whimper coming out from you.
Getting a little bit impattient, he ripped your boxer to reveal your hardened cock to him. The head is incredibely read, signaling how much blood that is rushing into it. All because of him. And he don’t waste any more time, lifting both of your legs and spread it apart. Revealing your pink puckered hole to him. he groaned at the sight and dive right in. God this men is a beast he eat you out like nobody does, not that you’ve beeh eaten out before because Clint is the first men that is ever get this far with you. He slipped his midle finger to your mouth, then his point finger, then his ring finger. Three fingers, God how big exactly this men is? When he pulled his fingers, they are wet with your saliva. He waste no time and insert his midle finger to you as his tongue keep licking at your hole and giving his saliva as extra lubricant. When you were relaxed enough he plunged the other two fingers inside. “Jessus !” you screamed.
“Jessus could never make you feel this good Kid” He said lowly. He thrust his fingers at a steady pace, making sure that you’ll be loose enough for his dick. When he sensed that you are loose enough, he pulled out his fingers, and reaching to his bedside drawer. Pulling out a lube, then he rid of his boxer. Boy that is the most beautiful cock you’ve ever seen. The one you will see in a high quality porn in all those paid sites, and did you said big earlier? Seeing you practically drolling at the sight of his cock, he grabbed your chin and kiss you forcefully
“Latter Kid, I’ll fuck your mouth and rouin you for good, you want that ?” You nodded furiously “Now I just wanted to feel that little hole of yours wraped around me” Oh how pathetic you look right now. God this men will ruin me for good.
The feel of the cool lubricant that he smeared on your hole could never feel any better. Then you feel it, so sudden, so hard, painful, yet pleasing at the same time. He thrust into you in one hard thrust. Your wals pulsating becaouse of it, your cock twitching ath the feel of his dick that is pressing against your prostate. He doesn’t wait for long until he pulled out completely and thrust into you agai, then he sets a brutal pace. You were screaming no wailing so loud until he silence you by thrusting his tongue into your mouth. You followed his tongue and dance in unison. His thrust never flattering with the added kiss you shared. He thrust and thrust, fast hard, and hitting you right on your prostate. Then you feel it, the rush of blood that is so fast to your lower parts, it’s coming, your release is coming, and Clint felt it too.
“You’re going to cum baby ? Without even me touching you?”
“Yeah yeah Clint…aghh so close….”
“Don’t worry me too, your tight hole is so warm wraped around my cock….Hmmm you’re squeezing me.. that close huh ?” He then angeled himself a little bit up and you’re done for, You came for the very first time untouched on ly from his dick. White spurts of your cum splashing your chest and his, seeing this, and the feel of your asshole spasming is what set him off. Spilling a month worth of his seed inside you, he thrust slowly riding both of your highs. Until he came to a stop, he remained the, seathed inside you as his dick is slowly softening. He pulled out then he once again spread your legs apart, watching as his seed flowing out of your now red puffy hole. All because of him, all his, he dived down and collects everything he could and he kissed your parting lips. Transfering his cum to your mouth, you both kissed until you swallowed everything. He then looked you in the eyes, smile lovingly at you and said “Mine…”
“Yours..” he kissed the top of your head and tuck you to his side. Pulling the covers up to veil your both naked bodies. “Clint… is it to soon if I said I love you?”
“No…No.. it’s not to soon baby, because I love you too, from the first time you set your foot in that training room..”
“I guess now I coud say that I’m Hawk-eyed..”
“Hawk-eyed?…. God you’re dork, what am I gotten myself into?” You hit his chest half heartedly. He chuckled “well you could never run from me now, because you’re now Hawk-eyed..” We both burst into laughter. We talked and talked about what possibilities that is to come to us. Until we both fell to the land of dream, dreams that we just make it true by admitting our feelings..
