Discover Top Posts Tagged with #clunkythirst

ranking breaking bad/better call saul characters by bangability

this is based purely on my own personal taste and headcanons. reply/rb with your own rankings! :3

16. chuck mcgill

starting out, we have chuck. i’m sorry to all the chuck fans out there, (because i adore you) but he is likely the last character in the brba universe that i’d bang. he reminds me of a wet paper towel, and we would not be sexually compatible in any way. i'd better not fuck chuck

15. walter white

oh, walt… you stupid son of a bitch. i would never bang him, he doesn’t deserve it. he is a greedy lover that only cares about getting himself off. once he's finished, the sex is over. i feel bad for skyler (or, jesse, if you subscribe to that) knowing she’s never been satisfied.. more on that later.

14. hank schrader

hank seems like the type to only want to do doggystyle, idk why i’m getting this vibe. i wouldn’t bang him because i can see him being very inattentive. aftercare? who’s she?

13. marie schrader

marie is a beautiful lady, but we’d likely be very incompatible. she seems very traditional. i can see her in a cute nurse outfit and appreciate, tho.

12. todd alquist

i don’t want to bang todd, but if i did, i know he’d be on some cbt freakshit. he definitely wants to be stepped on and i think we’d at least have a little fun if we banged.

11. tuco salamanca

tuco is fucking crazy but i would give him a chance if it was my last day alive. i know he lays psychotic pipe and has probably strangled people to death while creaming them.

10. gus fring

he's really pretty, but he seems like he'd be very controlling and emotionless. also seems like the type to have a crazy fetish that he must incorporate every time you have sex. anyway, the short, brooding type isn't mine, but i know he'd be thorough, so that counts for something.

9. howard hamlin

i think he's a handsome guy, but imo he'd be pretty stale in bed. he gives pillow prince vibes though and i feel like i could get down with it.

8. skyler white

mommy. i would treat her right, just saying. she's gorgeous and i like that she's tall. even though we might not be into the same stuff, i'd still hit.

7. mike ehrmantraut

i like mike's attitude and overall personality, and he's a handsome dude. the only problem is his age. i know i'd have to be doing tricks on it for this old guy. would it be worth it? honestly i don't know. why is he so high up on the list? uh... finger

6. lalo salamanca

i’d fuck lalo because i know he knows how to fuck. dude’s obviously a pro who i’ve got nothing on. i’d let him take the wheel and do whatever he thinks is best.

5. lydia rodarte-quayle

she literally wouldn't like me, and i'd kind of be into it. i may or may not want to worship her feet and legs. i'm with todd on this one.

4. nacho varga

sooo i know i said i didn't take my men short and brooding, but i need to motorboat him. nacho is super cute, and even though he'd probably be too quiet for my taste, he'd make up for it in physical strength. i know he'd be a beast on top. he could take some anger out on me fr..

3. kim wexler

the things i would do for her aren't even funny. if she said jump, i'd do a backflip for the first time in my life right there on the spot. honestly, her confidence would make me very nervous, so i don't know how well i'd perform, but if she gave me a chance, i'd be on my knees for her in a heartbeat. she could enslave me. it's encouraged, actually.

2. jesse pinkman

i would do him right if it was the last thing i did. i’d give him my all. our souls would mesh and shit. i’d be helplessly in love with him afterwards and there’d be nothing i could do. he is beautiful like a siren’s call and to that i say ahoy matey. i would drown

1. jimmy mcgill/saul goodman

and in first place: JIMMY!!!!!!!!!!! i’d fuck this guy sideways, on the ceiling, day in day out like it was my job. clocking in for the dick. i think i’d enjoy sex with jimmy no matter how well he performed. saul on the other hand might feel a little grimy but i can see him being more skilled. either way, if i got to bang him, i'd die happy. thanks for reading!

charlie kelly is asexual, and i would totally headcanon him as such if i wasn't busy fantasizing about banging him all the damn time

#my hc is that he wants to bang me or whoever else i want him to #playing dolls with him in my head #charlie kelly #iasip #clunkythirst