I've noticed over the years that often bad news develops along a logical continuum.
I got some bad news the other day. It started months back, just a "hmmm, that's interesting" suggestion that something was wrong. Now I've progressed to "well that is concerning" and "what are we going to do about it?" The problem this time around is with my heart – the muscle, not the seat of my emotions – which is a thing many people face at this stage of life. I'm experiencing regular misfires and arrhythmias, but after about 3 billion heartbeats in my life so far, a few that are out of sync isn't too unusual. Ahead are more tests and information gathering, then choices about intervention and treatment. I know it's too early to be worried. Sometimes I am anyway.
To comfort and help myself I've been taking long walks in the sunshine and fresh air, and reading my favorite 19th Century poets, as one does in difficult times. I've been checking out those big colorful art books from the library. And I'm listening to lots of blues. The blues are always more soothing to me than upbeat songs. The Stoic philosophers would have loved the blues, with their reminder that things might be bad, but then, they could also be a whole lot worse. I've been reading Seneca's Moral Letters, and I love his suck-it-up-buttercup advice to Lucilius: "You will thus understand that some things are less to be dreaded, precisely because they inspire us with great fear. No evil is great which is the last evil of all. Death arrives; it would be a thing to dread, if it could remain with you. But death must either not come at all, or else must come and pass away.*" Anyway, I'm not at the death and dying stage of the bad news continuum – yet. No one needs reminding that the catastrophe eventually comes for us all, but it can't hurt to make peace with it sooner than later.
I know there are few things more boring than hearing people's complaints about their health. The surprising thing about being present on tumblr is that I know there are many people here who care for me, and will be full of tender concern. I am so grateful for you all! Something that would be a great help to me would be your suggestions of favorite blues songs that I could use to build a killer playlist. I'll compile your recommendations and share the collaboration in a few days. That way we can share the consolations too.
*Seneca's Ad Lucilium Epistulae Morales, Letter 4, translated by Richard M. Gummere
