#coltner

[starburned-and-unkissed]

house md textposts <3

[kindest-little-fella-in-town]

part 3 of Spending My Lectures Drawing House Ships With A Mouse On MS Paint: coltner, as requested by @black-and-white-starlights . icl i think i nailed it

(ft a picmix i made because the image felt so picmixable. it took like 15mins because i had to close the browser tab every time my lecturer walked behind me </3 the things i do for the bit…)

[pictorial-scribbler]

You have to leave work at 6:00 pm, but you make time for man dates?

[maudlin-scribbler-archive]

coltner (cole/kutner) propaganda because I think they have potential:

i think they would go really well together, with kutner who's playful and wacky and easy-going vs cole who's far more serious and less likely to joke around. but they have fun together (not so) surprisingly.

they GO ON A DATE(to a magic show). house questions the fact that cole has to leave work early for his child but makes time to go on man-dates with kutner to magic shows and whatnot lmao

CMONNNNN. look at cole who's dressed really formal, as usual, next to kutner who's... not. look at them smiling at each other.

KUTNER SLAPS HIS ASS. THAT HAPPENS.

kutner also babysits his son, talks about taking him to the zoo!!!!

you want betrayal and messy complicated relationships. they also have that. IMAGINE them meeting again after the betrayal. imagine the messiness of it.

they're probably both repressed but like in really different ways.

you want someone with religious issues. cole uhhh certainly has that.

even house is surprised that cole betrays kutner cosnidering how they really seemed to get along.

CONCLUSION: they should kiss and be really weird about it. or not kiss but have a weird homoerotic thing going on anyway

[scribbling-md]

there's nooo way i am finishing this today so you only get this for now (since i kinda like it)

---

1.

After work, after the test-that’s-not-really-a-test in which House had convinced number 18 — Cole — to participate, in which Cole had, allegedly, gotten drunk for like the first time ever, Kutner offers to drive him home, since they’ve already sort of gotten to know each other, setting a patient on fire and all. We’re basically friends now, Kutner tells him as he puts his hand on his shoulder and looks at him with a large grin on his face. Cole doesn’t oppose his declaration of friendship, though, for what it’s worth.

“So you’ve never drank alcohol?” Kutner starts, as soon as they get in his car, “Ever?”. Way to be subtle, he thinks to himself, thinks he should have waited a bit before asking, but he’s really curious and also knows basically nothing, zero, nada, about Cole’s weird religion, besides the one time some missionary came to his home selling Mormonism and he was like No, thanks, he’s really not interested in any religion at the moment.

Really, the most interactions he’s had with any religion are being really into Christmas, his half-hearted attempts at reading about Hinduism and that his adoptive parents are jewish, and he doubts believing in bigfoot counts as a religion since it’s not like he prays to the guy or anything.

“No.” Cole answers, neutrally. Looks at him, tilting his head.

“Seriously, not even as a teenager?” Kutner raises his eyebrows, glances at him then back on the road.

“No.” And this time, Cole sounds sort of exasperated. “The church prohibits it.”

“But I mean, common, practically everyone’s snuck a drink or two when they were teenagers.” He knows he has, at least, and Cole can’t be as much of a straight arrow as he presents himself to be. No one is. “You must have been curious.”

“Did you?” He asks, and even sounds somewhat — not concerned, but… alerted, maybe.

“Yeah? As I said, most teenagers do.” He says, incredulously.

“Just because most teenagers do something doesn’t mean they should. We’re both doctors, you know this.” Cole shoots him a look, of you-really-won’t-let-this-go?

“Yeah, I know, I’m not advocating for underage drinking,” Kutner continues, casually. “I’m just saying, that’s just what kids do. Test their limits. Rebel. I snatched a few drinks from my parents’ liquor cabinet and drank with my friends when I was —” he pauses for a second, suddenly sheepish, “… 16, and I was fine.”

Cole rolls his eyes, which is new, since he’s never seen the guy do that, most he’s seen is him giving people looks that vaguely showed he was some kind of exasperated with them. It’s probably the alcohol, and probably Kutner never knowing when to shut up.

“Alright.” He sighs.

“Man, does your kid need me.”

“Needs you for what —” Cole chuckles, which is also new — and makes Kutner decide that he likes the sound of Cole’s laugh —“— to start drinking?”

“No.” Kutner suddenly realizes how his words could be taken, and laughs awkwardly. “You’re so uptight, he’s gotta have at least one fun adult figure in his life.”

Then he grins at Cole as he adds, “I could be his fun uncle!”

[maudlin-scribbler-archive]

you don't want to know propaganda (or really, just reasons why I love this episode so much) (this can also count as coltner propaganda too i guess) :

-> opens with cole and kutner on a man date at a magician's show. cole is dressed to the nines next to kutner

-> in general properly introduces and breaks cole and kutner's friendship in one episode and manages to really make me Feel Emotions about it.

-> KUTNER BABYSAT COLE'S KID. like cmonnnnn.

-> house's weird (and borderline creepy) wooing rituals.

-> wilson and house's scene where they talk about their blood types lol

-> also house and the patient, house as usual being obsessive about the Truth. love the implication that house was also into magic tricks as a kid lmao

-> HOUSE AND THIRTEEN. 13 not wanting to know if she has huntington's. their whole moment at the end there. god.

-> amber and taub teaming up just because they're such a hillarious duo

-> honestly i kinda love that little moment of kutner winking at amber and her rolling her eyes i crack up everytime lmaooo the whole scene is gold

-> have i mentioned that I love the title and how the theme rings through the whole episode. the magic being in not knowing. knowing how cole managed to get cuddy's panties takes the magic and fun out of it (by betraying his friend). 13 not wanting to know if she has huntington's. house Needing to Know.

-> KUTNER. just how he was right about it being an actul case, right about the blood transfusions. how he was so happy and kinda cocky almost the whole episode only to be so hurt by the end. just frozen there. leaving without saying goodbye

-> I LOVE COLE I really do. I love how in the opening scene everytime the magician asks him a question he takes it seriously lmao. i love him and kutner(like there are scenes where they're smiling at each other and everything). you can kind of see at the end that he actually feels guilty about the Betrayal.

conclusion: it's such a great episode

[starburned-and-unkissed]

the cutest guys ever. also love how kutner's wearing a blue sweater and cole's wearing a red tie

[kindest-little-fella-in-town]

they’re so silly…