#comedy dialogue

[loreleiloon]

Supervillain: "I can't interfere in this matter any longer, Hero. As the saying goes, 'a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.' "

Sidekick (to Hero): "Dang, Boss, what've you gotta do?"

Hero: "A man."

Villain: (*spits out his vodka*)

[cora-cooks-batteries]

Writing Prompts: Character C trying to get Character A and B together

Hello! I have been looking for DECADES for prompts like these, but I couldn’t find any, so I’m writing it myself! 

If you would like any prompts or headcanons, I’m accepting prompts and headcanons! The pinned post has rules and fandoms I’d write for. Thank you!

Now, onto the prompts..

Prompt: A and B obviously have feelings for each other, yet they’re both so shy with each other. C sees this, and decides to take matters into their own hands and bring them together. 

Let’s go!

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-A and B, sitting each other, not saying a word and just BLUSHING their faces off, while C sits in the background and face palms.

You know how tired C must be of these two.

-C screaming about a rat in the closet, while A and B come rushing over. As they look for the rat, C locks them both in, and laughs. 

Bonus points if they have cameras

-C always trying to get A and B to sit together. Trip to the movies? Their seats are beside each other. Dividing up any kind of work? You know C is going to assign them the same work.

-One day, C sends fake love letters to A and B. Of course, A and B realize these are fake, and come together to put on a prank for C.

-The two end up having a really good time putting on a prank, and end up being more confident with each other. 

-C just watches the two lovebirds like a proud mother.

Dialogue:

“I’m about to make my comfort ship canon.”

-----

“You guys are so made for each other A.”

“...”

“I just asked for a cup of water-”

-----

“Uh.. hey A.”

“Hey B..”

*C in the background* ‘”DAMNIT KISS ALREADY!”

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“I’m tired of C saying we should be a couple..”

“Oh..”

“Wait, not that we shouldn’t be a couple.. I MEAN-”

-----

“So, after this would you like to go to get a coffee?”

“Really? I mean.. yeah sure, we can hang.”

*C in the background* “FUCKING KNEW IT!”

-----

Thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I did writing them.

[attension-seeker]

Chapter 2 - Westward Exasperation

"You will not believe what just happened," Rachel announced, nearly knocking over June’s drink as she sat down.

June barely looked up from her sandwich. "You tripped on absolutely nothing and now you’re blaming the universe?"

Rachel scoffed. "No. I mean—yes, but that’s not the point. The point is that I got called on in history class to explain Manifest Destiny, and instead of saying westward expansion, I said westward exasperation."

Nate choked on his drink. "That’s kind of beautiful, actually."

Rachel gestured wildly with her fork. "I know, right? Like, it still makes sense? Just more aggressively. Anyway, Mr. Reynolds did that thing where he stares at you in deep disappointment for like a full thirty seconds. I swear I felt my soul leave my body."

June smirked, finally looking up. "To be fair, westward exasperation is kind of an accurate summary of U.S. history."

Rachel gasped. "Exactly! Thank you. Finally, someone appreciates my genius."

Nate just shook his head, stealing one of Rachel’s fries. She smacked his hand, but he didn’t seem to care. "Anyway," he said, between bites. "Are we talking about Rachel embarrassing herself or about June’s mystery crush?"

June groaned, dropping her head onto the table. "We’re not doing this."

Rachel grinned. "Oh, we’re absolutely doing this."

Nate leaned in like they were conspiring. "So, you’ve been weird all day. Distracted. Not even pretending to care about my tragic love life. Who is it?"

"Literally no one."

Rachel rested her chin in her hands. "Sounds fake, but okay."

June sighed. "Can we talk about something else?"

Rachel and Nate exchanged glances.

"Fine," Rachel said, sitting back. "We’ll let it go. For now."

June had exactly two seconds of relief before Nate snapped his fingers like he just remembered something. "Oh, speaking of distractions—did you guys hear about what happened to Jake Carter?"

Rachel perked up. "Wait, what’d he do this time?"

Nate grinned. "Got caught trying to sneak out of class by crawling under the desks while the teacher had their back turned."

Rachel gasped. "No. No. You’re lying."

"I wish. He made it like halfway before Ms. Gardner turned around and just—" Nate mimed a slow, horrified stare. "—watched him. Didn’t say anything. Just watched."

June snorted. "Oh my god."

Rachel was practically vibrating with joy. "I love this school."

Nate shrugged. "She gave him detention, but honestly? Worth it."

June found herself actually relaxing. This—this was good. The normal, ridiculous banter. The casual way they fell into conversation, the way Rachel and Nate made everything feel lighter, like nothing could ever be too serious.

She needed this.

Nate glanced at her. "You okay? You’re doing the thing where you’re quiet again."

“Is it a boy?” Rachel said excitedly

Nate raised an eyebrow. "Ohhh. A boy."

June groaned. "It’s not a boy."

Rachel grinned. "So it is someone."

June scowled at her sandwich.