#comiingle

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Find out the game of trade-offs and dealbreakers in the game of dating

Our article was featured @TheUrbanDater: http://bit.ly/NxlJub

Post your comments and/or questions! Also, check out comiingle.

Cheers!

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Woman – Your Life Is Not a Romance Novel

A body that rivals a Greek god, an amazing package, locks of deliciously thick hair.  He’s so tall and strong, his body built to cradle yours so that you fit ever so delicately and perfectly in his arms, tucked securely beneath his chin.  His touch sends heart-pounding orgasms right through you.  He’s also so wordly, intelligent, sensitive, and thoughtful. The mere thought of him drives you nearly insane with a potent, heady emotional swirl of love and lust.

Okay, ladies. Let’s come back to reality now. This guy doesn’t exist.  Maybe in Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey.  But repeat after me: this fantasy guy doesn’t exist because life isn’t a romance novel.

Sure it’s fun and all that you can escape into a world where there’s a handsome stranger who wants to sweep you off your feet and make mad, mad love to you. But don’t start blurring the lines and think that you can find this exact same guy (or even some variation of this guy) anywhere on this planet. There’s romance that you find in fiction, soap operas, or movies… and then there’s romance that you find in real life. 

Think that you’re not trying to live out some romance novel?  Maybe it’s time to check yourself:

·       You’re holding out for the perfect guy and he has to be 6ft tall, make bank, have a perfectly chiseled body, and can hold a conversation about the top 3 things that you care about. When you find this person, please take a picture and send it to me so that I know that you haven’t come across a mythical creature.

·       You want deep, passionate, emotional bonds where you and he are so connected that it’s crazily sexy and mind-blowing. I don’t know about you but I have not met any guy who wants to talk about his feelings and have profound connections to anyone’s mind, body and/or spirit.  Check whether he’s been on something in the last 24 hours if he does.

·       You want incredible, amazing “love” all the time.  And by “love” I mean passionate love making, saying I love you all the time, and the floating-on-air feeling because you’re in love. Sorry to burst your bubble but sometimes it’s just “doing it” and saying “stuff” to continue “doing it”.

Bottom line is that you don’t want be one of the crazies who chases after something that doesn’t exist. And that’s the exact reason why you should consider dating outside the perfect personal profile.  Sure he may not hit everything on your list, but if the important ones are met then that’s good enough to start with, isn’t it? So start with Comiingle and put yourself out there. You’ll be surprised where it might take you.

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Here's a sneak peek of Comiingle.

Private Beta will be here in a couple of weeks. Sign up at www.comiingle.com!

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It's Now Just 3 Weeks Away!

That's right: we're officially opening in just three weeks (the week of March 19, if you'd like to mark your calendars)!

So what does this mean and what do you need to know?

Tip #1: Everyone - single, in a relationship, just married, just out of a relationship - can and should join. Just choose to be either a: 

Miingler (min-gler): (noun) A dater. Interacts with other miinglers and friends or a

Wiingler (win-gler): (noun) A non-dater. A supportive friend of the miingler who interacts with friends

Share and comment on who you're interested in with your friends. If they happen to be taken, they can still be in on the fun by playing wingman and setting you up.

Tip #2: Get on the invite list to use comiingle. Go to www.comiingle.com to request an invite - and be sure to do it fast because invitations are limited!

Tip #3: Tell your friends to join. Seriously, do it now. Why? You can comment on who they're interested in, share profiles, search the dating pool together, rate who they have on their Ladder (which is, if we must say, one of the best features of the site )-- the list just goes on and on!

Tip #4: Once you're in, remember that it's in Beta stage (translation: we're still doing some tweaking, so pardon anything that doesn't look spot on the first time around).  Don't worry, though - you'll still be able to everything on the site like add friends, search for some hot and interesting people, and create your own personal black book via the Ladder.

So go forth and snag your invite if you haven't already!

TTFN,

Wiingles

[comiingleblog-blog]

A Wingman’s Work is Never Done

We're on a roll with super hot guest bloggers and this week's post is from super hot L. Lynn of LostAngelesgirl.com.  Curious about the dating scene in Tinseltown?  She knows what's up and tells you all about it via informative re-hashes of dating stories from Santa Monica to downtown LA.  In this post she tells it like it is about the trusty Wingman (and Wingwoman) - and how they're our saving grace (most of the time).

A Wingman’s Work is Never Done   

By L. Lynn  

Ahhhhh the wingman, the world’s most trusted male companion. He’s the guy in the passenger seat hollering at all the girls who would rather concern themselves with the driver. He’s the guy who cunningly distracts your girlfriend long enough for his boy to make his play at talking to YOU.  They keep us from dating the wrong people, help us identify the 4’s that are dressed up as 9’s while also pointing out the benefits in the dating the 4’s that can dress up and look like 9’s. He’s always looking out for his buddies and should you decide to date one of them, you’ll probably end up having to get his wingman’s blessing as well. Indeed, comingling is an inextricable part of our dating rituals and it’s awesome because so many things happen on account of the revered second opinion.   

Remember back in the day when dating simply involved one of your friends introducing you to someone cute or suggesting a casual rendezvous amongst an attractive circle of acquaintances. All too often we get so distracted by bikini profile pictures that we completely overlook potential compatibility conflicts. Alas, just when we thought we were abandoned in a sea of just “ok” cupids and “plenty of fish” (with Chlamydia), the return of the beloved Wingman (and woman) have come to our rescue to help put an end to the uncertainties of virtual hook ups. However, in this day and age, wingmen/wing women don’t necessarily come in the form of a BFF. All types of different wingmen and women reside right under your perpetually dating nose, all of which can actually chime in on an upcoming site like comiingle.

Wingman Categories  

1.  Married Couple Wingman: It’s the married couple that has managed to inadvertently invite you to all of the house gatherings that involve other “single people” that they think you might gel with. Most of the time these other “singles” consist of random strangers that somebody met at Whole Foods market buying a Kambucha drink and said something to the effect of, “Yunno I’m MARRIED but I have a friend…”. The Married Couple Wingman is often bored and makes a great wiingler, even if only to live vicariously through your virtual dating life while taking credit for all of your successful miingler sessions.    

2.  Un-­Chosen Wingman: Once an unassuming girl decides whom she’s feeling, it’s on the un-chosen man out to assume the role of wingman and pave the way for his chosen friend to land the plan. However, on occasion the un-­chosen man won’t give up the dream and will relentlessly continue to play interference. Thus, salting up the chosen one’s game to the point of no return and, even worse, no victory. Unfortunately no amount of free drinks or funny jokes can salvage the evening’s prospects when two wingmen are out of sync.      

3.  Co-­worker Wingman: Not every single person in the office is fair game. However, the Co-worker wingman is that one person you work with who always seems to know all the office singles and possesses secret knowledge about their dating past. He/She is like an office concierge service that keeps a captain’s log of the broken and un-dateable along with the super eligible and what they drive. Co-worker wingman is great aside from their predisposition to juicy gossip. 

4.  Bad Breath Wingman: Unlike most women and their cliques, men do not have the same hang-ups when it comes to tag-team socializing. For example, most women must have their most attractive clique or girlfriend when they hit the scene. However, the one deal breaker in the wingman circle is hygiene. Bad Breath Wingman is notoriously no use to anyone, he’s a radiating orb of offensiveness and no matter how good his game is, all will be spoiled before a girl can even process what’s happening. Bad Breath Wingman should be relegated to comiingle forums only, where he can make suggestions and shine behind the virtual curtain.

These are just a few of the wingmen (and women) that probably already grace your dating universe. Regardless how effective or ineffective they are as a dating value-add, one thing is for certain: some of our most triumphant hook-up victories are directly attributable to the world’s most trusted companion and as long as people are miingling and comiingling the, wingman will never go out of style. 

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Would You Date Someone Your Friends HATE?

Recently my friend BrownEyedGirl (hey, I have to protect names here) introduced me to a guy she met at work and has been dating on and off for the past four weeks.  We were slugging back drinks at a non-descript bar downtown and he seemed promising early on – good sense of humor, was caught up on the world outside of sports, and liked to go running in the park.  But then, as the night progressed, the initial thumbs up became a thumbs down – and I actually wondered to myself why and how BrownEyedGirl could be dating this jerk?  For starters, he flirted pretty heavily at the bar despite BrownEyedGirl being merely 10 feet away and he happened to “need to take a call” every time it came to ante up for the next round.  He definitely stole the show by somehow singlehandedly managing to back hand bitch slap everyone with a compliment craftily disguised as an insult (seriously, who says “I’m surprised you’re not fat given how much you eat” or “You pull off that bald look pretty well at 26”).  I’m sure everyone there shared the same sentiment as me because excuses to leave suddenly started to kick up and soon it was pretty much him and BrownEyedGirl left.  And did I mention that it was only 9pm?  Could I slap a huge REJECT sticker on him and send him on his way?  I know I’m not dating him but come on! 

We’ve all been in that situation before – whether we’re BrownEyedGirl or one of those friends who needed to get away fast.  And if you were in BrownEyedGirl’s shoes, I’m sure that many of you could state with resounding conviction that yes, you can in fact date someone that your friends aren’t fond of.  You’re your own person, you know what – and who – you like, and it is your life.  To hell with what other people think! 

But could you really date someone your friends hate?

Think about it.  Really. 

Just because you like someone doesn’t mean that he or she is your long-lost-soul-mate-ready-to-complete-you because if they fail the friends and family test then they’re outta there.  However judgmental or bossy or nosy they may be, they do know you – or at least different sides of you – and they often have an inkling when someone will or will not work out in your life.  They’ll offer their opinions, solicited or not, and they’ll let you know when you’re being stupid or a jackass or need a kick in the butt.  And, deep down, you value their opinion.  Question is – whose opinion do you value more: your friends or your family?  (That, though, is another debate altogether.)

And we do it anyway.  We involve our family and friends.  Don’t deny it – we’re all guilty.  We send that link to their blank.com profile, the text updates during dates, the IM to re-hash the details of last night.  The comments, laughs, and advice then come pouring back in.  But then how do you keep track of who said what?  And who did you share that profile pic with again? 

It’s for all these reasons that Comiingle was born.  (And, if I have to say so myself, why I joined the Comiingle bandwagon!)

Think of the easiest and fastest way to share who you’re interested in with your friends and see their real time comments and feedback about him or her.  Have multiple interests and not sure how they compare?  Ladder them up and take notes about them.  (Seriously, think of these as crib sheets for all the latest loves of your life.)  If your friends have someone in mind for you, they can send a profile your way to see if you’re willing to take the gamble.  Whether your friends are single or taken, they can still partake in the dating craziness.  You don’t even have to invite them all – just the ones that you want to share your love life with.

So – curious about how the BrownEyedGirl situation pans out?  Want to hear more dating lore from me and my kooky friends?  Or wondering what’s going to happen now that I joined Comiingle?  Find me next week – same time, same spot – and I’ll fill you in!

You can also drop me a line to let me know dating (horror) stories!

TTFN (that’s ta ta for now for you non-texters) ,

Wiingles