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Find out the game of trade-offs and dealbreakers in the game of dating

Our article was featured @TheUrbanDater: http://bit.ly/NxlJub

Post your comments and/or questions! Also, check out comiingle.

Cheers!

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Holy Sh*t – Am I Getting Played? (Girls: Beware; Guys: Must Read)

Do a quick search on Amazon on dating techniques and you’ll find the usual suspects such as Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and The Game.  What you should pay attention to, though, is the Mystery Method.  Why?  Because it’s getting men more play and getting into more women’s pants without them even knowing it.

Here’s how the Mystery Method phases breaks down:

1. Attract. Have a canned opening and be ready to make an impression that you’re not sleazy, desperate, predator-like, or awkward within 3 seconds. Approach at an angle to soften any feelings of intrusion and smile, be approachable, and engage with everyone (not just your target).  Talk to the lesser attractive ones in the group.  Then make an exit.  She will need to work to get your time and attention.

2. Comfort.  Make her feel safe and close to you.  She needs to be able to open up.  Touch her arm, brush her hair out of her eyes.  You want her to know that you’re there.  Don’t make touching sexual just yet. 

3. Seduce. Okay, so now you can get to making your touching sexual.  She should have comfort with you now.  If she starts to roll back from the advances, distract her and then re-start.  Remember that it’s all about location, too – so stop fantasizing about bathroom sex.

Now let’s go get to some action!

P.S. If you’re too lazy to get the book, here’s a pretty good play by play.

Signup: Comiingle - grow your trusted network of friends to meet quality people.

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Come grow your trusted network to meet friends of friends @ http://comiingle.com.

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Woman – Your Life Is Not a Romance Novel

A body that rivals a Greek god, an amazing package, locks of deliciously thick hair.  He’s so tall and strong, his body built to cradle yours so that you fit ever so delicately and perfectly in his arms, tucked securely beneath his chin.  His touch sends heart-pounding orgasms right through you.  He’s also so wordly, intelligent, sensitive, and thoughtful. The mere thought of him drives you nearly insane with a potent, heady emotional swirl of love and lust.

Okay, ladies. Let’s come back to reality now. This guy doesn’t exist.  Maybe in Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey.  But repeat after me: this fantasy guy doesn’t exist because life isn’t a romance novel.

Sure it’s fun and all that you can escape into a world where there’s a handsome stranger who wants to sweep you off your feet and make mad, mad love to you. But don’t start blurring the lines and think that you can find this exact same guy (or even some variation of this guy) anywhere on this planet. There’s romance that you find in fiction, soap operas, or movies… and then there’s romance that you find in real life. 

Think that you’re not trying to live out some romance novel?  Maybe it’s time to check yourself:

·       You’re holding out for the perfect guy and he has to be 6ft tall, make bank, have a perfectly chiseled body, and can hold a conversation about the top 3 things that you care about. When you find this person, please take a picture and send it to me so that I know that you haven’t come across a mythical creature.

·       You want deep, passionate, emotional bonds where you and he are so connected that it’s crazily sexy and mind-blowing. I don’t know about you but I have not met any guy who wants to talk about his feelings and have profound connections to anyone’s mind, body and/or spirit.  Check whether he’s been on something in the last 24 hours if he does.

·       You want incredible, amazing “love” all the time.  And by “love” I mean passionate love making, saying I love you all the time, and the floating-on-air feeling because you’re in love. Sorry to burst your bubble but sometimes it’s just “doing it” and saying “stuff” to continue “doing it”.

Bottom line is that you don’t want be one of the crazies who chases after something that doesn’t exist. And that’s the exact reason why you should consider dating outside the perfect personal profile.  Sure he may not hit everything on your list, but if the important ones are met then that’s good enough to start with, isn’t it? So start with Comiingle and put yourself out there. You’ll be surprised where it might take you.

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Why You’re Not Married– From a Guy’s POV

Alright, it’s a huge understatement to say that Terry McMillan has every girl’s panties in a bunch (MUST READ).  Send any single female a link to that article and she will automatically, resolutely declare that she is not a bitch, not a slut, and is choosing to not get married by her own conscious will. 

Okay, okay – I get that.  And I’m also smart enough to not poke at an angry bear that’s ready to tear the meat off of any living thing.  Instead, I’m going to talk about why a lot of men aren’t in a committed relationship, let alone married.  So here’s a nod to Terry’s article but it’s really a nod to all the single men out there.

1.    You can’t close. You have many female friends, many of whom have sent you signals but something keeps you from closing. You don't even step up to the plate for fear of rejection. You'll bend over backwards for a chick but you're so nice they'll never bend over for you. Get some cojones and learn to say no. You’ll find that suddenly the legs – er, I mean possibilities - are spreading.

2.    You're broke. Women claim they want to be independent, but in reality they are perfectly OK with you bringing home the money while they spend their days at malls and spas. Women have expensive habits and the last thing they want to do is support you. No money, no honey. Get a job. 

3.    You haven’t slept around enough. I can't emphasize this enough, you need to whore around. Sleep with enough women and get it out of your system. You'll eventually realize there's more to life than just meaningless sex with random girls. At some point, you'll realize you want to settle down.   

4.    You don't spit enough game.  Women hear only what they want to hear, so tell them that much. More often than not, women don't need to hear the whole truth. White lies are not only good, they are necessary to sustain a committed relationship. So caress that ego and she’ll caress you back. Lie more!

5.    You're not selfish enough. You sacrifice for everyone else but yourself. Taking care of everyone around you is making you miserable. Women are drawn to happy people. Be selfish, treat yourself to nice things. You'll be happier and as a result, women are more likely to be attracted to you. Get some more "ME" time.

6.    You're not good enough. You question and blame yourself for your shortcomings. The truth is, you don't have to do a whole lot to be a good boyfriend / husband.  She'll tell you what you need to do and all you have to do is listen and make her happy.

Ultimately, it’s not necessarily a bad thing that we’re single because we only get better with age and hey, we can still create babies until we’re well into our senior years. Women, you gotta love the double standard, right?

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We're Live!

3..2..1..And we're LIVE!!!!!!!!

Our Private Beta officially launched today! Sign up @ http://comiingle.com to be one of the first to give Comiingle a whirl.

We're looking for you to provide your feedback because hey, we know we're not perfect. But don't worry - things will only get better!

Those of you who signed up via LaunchRock will have received an e-mail invite (just in case, check your Spam folders).  You lucky few also received invites that you can share with your friends.

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Here's a sneak peek of Comiingle.

Private Beta will be here in a couple of weeks. Sign up at www.comiingle.com!

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It's Now Just 3 Weeks Away!

That's right: we're officially opening in just three weeks (the week of March 19, if you'd like to mark your calendars)!

So what does this mean and what do you need to know?

Tip #1: Everyone - single, in a relationship, just married, just out of a relationship - can and should join. Just choose to be either a: 

Miingler (min-gler): (noun) A dater. Interacts with other miinglers and friends or a

Wiingler (win-gler): (noun) A non-dater. A supportive friend of the miingler who interacts with friends

Share and comment on who you're interested in with your friends. If they happen to be taken, they can still be in on the fun by playing wingman and setting you up.

Tip #2: Get on the invite list to use comiingle. Go to www.comiingle.com to request an invite - and be sure to do it fast because invitations are limited!

Tip #3: Tell your friends to join. Seriously, do it now. Why? You can comment on who they're interested in, share profiles, search the dating pool together, rate who they have on their Ladder (which is, if we must say, one of the best features of the site )-- the list just goes on and on!

Tip #4: Once you're in, remember that it's in Beta stage (translation: we're still doing some tweaking, so pardon anything that doesn't look spot on the first time around).  Don't worry, though - you'll still be able to everything on the site like add friends, search for some hot and interesting people, and create your own personal black book via the Ladder.

So go forth and snag your invite if you haven't already!

TTFN,

Wiingles

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Don’t Call Me – Just Text

Warning: There's some graphic language here.

One of my good friends, MsGoodyTwoShoes, and I recently met for our weekly Saturday run. As we were closing in our first mile she wondered what she should do about a drunk text she had sent the other night.  Apparently she messaged a guy she had previously hooked up with. He had promptly responded even though it was just after midnight – which she claims reeked of booty call. Half listening to her, I asked whether he had called her later that night to push for a hook up sequel.  She looked at me incredulously and asked, “Do you know of anyone who calls anymore?”

MsGoodyTwoShoes is right. Who really calls anymore? Unless you’ve made it into certain relationship territory, texting is more the norm these days. But why? Why are we so reluctant to actually pick up our cells and dial someone yet so eager and willing to send abbreviated messages that sometimes take more time to write than to say? Do texting and dating work?

And the survey (after impromptu questioning of six guys and four girls) says:

Texting provides a paper trail. Say you’re interested in more than one person. Well, you can carry on multiple conversations and keep all of your stories and information straight. There’s no way to really slip up and say the wrong thing.

It’s less personal – and that’s what you’re going for. Calling conveys a sense of interest and even some urgency. But a text – well, with a text you can play it cool and take your time to respond.

It’s easier to screen.  Let’s say you hooked up with someone and realize that it was a mistake. It’s easier to scan and erase a text than it is to listen through the long and often needy, desperate voice messages.

It can easily convey that you’re not interested. If you’ve already hooked up or went out once but you didn’t really feel it, texting a polite response and then never responding again says “Sorry, but please move along”.

You have more time think about your response and be more witty or smart or sexy – you get the picture. It’s an easy way to score more points.

So what are your reasons for texting? I’m also curious to find out how many of you actually prefer calling over texting.

And, finally, here's a little Public Service Announcement for those of you who fall prey to drunk texting and dialing. Texters, please get this app. Dialers, here's one for you.

TTFN,

Wiingles

[comiingleblog-blog]

A Wingman’s Work is Never Done

We're on a roll with super hot guest bloggers and this week's post is from super hot L. Lynn of LostAngelesgirl.com.  Curious about the dating scene in Tinseltown?  She knows what's up and tells you all about it via informative re-hashes of dating stories from Santa Monica to downtown LA.  In this post she tells it like it is about the trusty Wingman (and Wingwoman) - and how they're our saving grace (most of the time).

A Wingman’s Work is Never Done   

By L. Lynn  

Ahhhhh the wingman, the world’s most trusted male companion. He’s the guy in the passenger seat hollering at all the girls who would rather concern themselves with the driver. He’s the guy who cunningly distracts your girlfriend long enough for his boy to make his play at talking to YOU.  They keep us from dating the wrong people, help us identify the 4’s that are dressed up as 9’s while also pointing out the benefits in the dating the 4’s that can dress up and look like 9’s. He’s always looking out for his buddies and should you decide to date one of them, you’ll probably end up having to get his wingman’s blessing as well. Indeed, comingling is an inextricable part of our dating rituals and it’s awesome because so many things happen on account of the revered second opinion.   

Remember back in the day when dating simply involved one of your friends introducing you to someone cute or suggesting a casual rendezvous amongst an attractive circle of acquaintances. All too often we get so distracted by bikini profile pictures that we completely overlook potential compatibility conflicts. Alas, just when we thought we were abandoned in a sea of just “ok” cupids and “plenty of fish” (with Chlamydia), the return of the beloved Wingman (and woman) have come to our rescue to help put an end to the uncertainties of virtual hook ups. However, in this day and age, wingmen/wing women don’t necessarily come in the form of a BFF. All types of different wingmen and women reside right under your perpetually dating nose, all of which can actually chime in on an upcoming site like comiingle.

Wingman Categories  

1.  Married Couple Wingman: It’s the married couple that has managed to inadvertently invite you to all of the house gatherings that involve other “single people” that they think you might gel with. Most of the time these other “singles” consist of random strangers that somebody met at Whole Foods market buying a Kambucha drink and said something to the effect of, “Yunno I’m MARRIED but I have a friend…”. The Married Couple Wingman is often bored and makes a great wiingler, even if only to live vicariously through your virtual dating life while taking credit for all of your successful miingler sessions.    

2.  Un-­Chosen Wingman: Once an unassuming girl decides whom she’s feeling, it’s on the un-chosen man out to assume the role of wingman and pave the way for his chosen friend to land the plan. However, on occasion the un-­chosen man won’t give up the dream and will relentlessly continue to play interference. Thus, salting up the chosen one’s game to the point of no return and, even worse, no victory. Unfortunately no amount of free drinks or funny jokes can salvage the evening’s prospects when two wingmen are out of sync.      

3.  Co-­worker Wingman: Not every single person in the office is fair game. However, the Co-worker wingman is that one person you work with who always seems to know all the office singles and possesses secret knowledge about their dating past. He/She is like an office concierge service that keeps a captain’s log of the broken and un-dateable along with the super eligible and what they drive. Co-worker wingman is great aside from their predisposition to juicy gossip. 

4.  Bad Breath Wingman: Unlike most women and their cliques, men do not have the same hang-ups when it comes to tag-team socializing. For example, most women must have their most attractive clique or girlfriend when they hit the scene. However, the one deal breaker in the wingman circle is hygiene. Bad Breath Wingman is notoriously no use to anyone, he’s a radiating orb of offensiveness and no matter how good his game is, all will be spoiled before a girl can even process what’s happening. Bad Breath Wingman should be relegated to comiingle forums only, where he can make suggestions and shine behind the virtual curtain.

These are just a few of the wingmen (and women) that probably already grace your dating universe. Regardless how effective or ineffective they are as a dating value-add, one thing is for certain: some of our most triumphant hook-up victories are directly attributable to the world’s most trusted companion and as long as people are miingling and comiingling the, wingman will never go out of style. 

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Think Different - Online Dating

Fairly recently we received a review by Fernando Ardenghi, an engineer who likes to analyze online dating sites.  He believes that daters will not want friends, parents, and neighbors to be involved in personal matters such as dating.

We feel online dating sites come in different styles and you’re going to gravitate toward the one that fits your personality and style. Think of online dating like shoes (seriously, just go with it).  Some of you may really like Jimmy Choos or only wear Tieks.  They all have something that appeal to the consumer. It’s the same with dating sites.  Some offer highly sophisticated algorithms and others offer the ability to friend daters – but ultimately you’re going to go with the one that fits you.

So, we thought we'd give you a few reasons why a social dating site will work and with that we leave you to make your own conclusion:

We really believe there’s more to dating than sophisticated algorithms.

Everything is becoming more social and we’re sharing more than ever – and this includes who we’re interested in and who we’re dating.

Your odds of meeting someone who piques your interest dramatically increases by meshing your network with an online dating community.

Dating sites are evolving to include more and more social elements

All we're saying is think outside the box a little and give things a whirl before you say no to it – otherwise you’ll be living scared…and alone. You decide.

The Comiingle Team

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"Trying Too Hard" - As Told By Guest Blogger Cleo

This week's blog post is courtesy of the fabulous Cleo - a gal who knows all the hottest spots for singles and ways to pair them up.  She also dishes amazing, straight-up advice (on video and her blog).  In this post she tells us how it is when you lay it on way too thick and kill your chances with the cheese.  

Be sure to pay it a visit!

Trying Too Hard

Posted by: datewcleo on: February 2, 2012

If I had a reality show, we could all watch the clip from a few nights ago of that-guy-at-the-bar-that-was-trying-too-hard… even the valet people outside felt sorry for him.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a thing for bartenders. I’m not even sure why, but my friends could vouch that this is in fact, true. Therefore, if I have the opportunity to eat dinner at a restaurant’s bar as a hot man leans over me to set down my utensils and take my order, I jump on it. It’s much easier to flirt when bartender-man is stuck behind a counter and I can “accidentally” stare at him all night.

This week, my girlfriend and I go to a new place for dinner and there are two lovey bar stools available, as if my Libra stars aligned and reserved them for us. I asked the man to the left if the seat was taken, because I wanted to be polite.

“Yes,” he said. “I was saving it for you.”

Eeerk. Stop there. Now if Ryan Gosling or his look-a-like said this, then no problem! Sign me up for this chair next to you. However,  that was not at all the case and instead sleep-deprived, lanky, overly-eager man who was probably a mathlete in high school made googly eyes at me and I felt dirty.

Thus, I sat my body as far right on my chair as possible to create the greatest amount of distance between us and slightly turned my back to him.

“Are you an actress?” I hear coming from my left. My mind literally debates if the restaurant is loud enough to where I could pretend I did not hear him. Unfortunately, it is not.

“No.” I wanted to stop at that but felt bad and added, “why did you think that?” and a half smile.

He goes on to explain that I give off an actress vibe because I am proper and sit up straight. I say, “Hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I tell him that I am a writer. However, what I am actually thinking is, I wonder if he can tell that I’m praying he stops talking. I turn away as soon as there is a lull, pretending I am thirsty.

conversation diversion

Saved to breathe another moment of silence. Until…

“So what name can I look for online when you become famous?”

I now have to turn a complete 180 to face him, since I was leaning as far away as physically feasible. I strain my neck and tell him how I go by Cleo online (holla!).

Long story short, I avoid further conversation and could not help but wonder how nice to would be if his friend next to him had the balls to say, “hey man, you’re wasting your time. She’s not interested.”

Too often friends stay quiet when they should take a stand and speak out! If your boy is making a fool of himself, save him. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?

I know I definitely appreciate when my girlfriends warn me when I’m being too flirtatious! Sometimes in a social setting with a little liquid courage, the line between being playful and embarrassing can be a little blurry, at least for me.

There is a site floating around online called Comiingle, where you can help your friends with dating. This is the new way to approach dating online… kind of how unfriending someone on Facebook is the new way to stop dating someone without saying anything.

Comiingle is good because users can get a third, fourth, eighth, or twentieth opinion before having to go on that awkward blind date, meet that girl that used a picture from 10 years ago, or that guy that lied about his profession and income. Friends can also steer you clear of hazardous suitors.

Additionally, Comiingle gives you access to wing-men and wing-women! Despite my misfortune with bar stool neighbor, I was lucky that my girlfriend broke the ice with bartender-man and asked him his birthday so that we could figure out his zodiac sign (Cancer, btw). I was actually not going to spark conversation because I did not feel it was organic at the time and would have been forced. Thank goodness god invented wing-people to give us a shove in the right direction when we feel frozen.

Be a good friend and help your friends out with their dating woes when necessary, even when not asked. And use your resources! That is why Cleo, Comiingle, and all the other dating tools exist. We are here to help.

Mucho amor,

Cleonita

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How to Stay in the Hook Up Zone

Recently there was a good piece about how to get out of the hook up zone and it’s geared toward those of you out there looking for relationships. But – how about those of you who are looking for the exact opposite?  Read: you just want a hook up and that’s it? 

So – let’s talk about wanting to stay in the hook up zone.  There’s a whole lot of us out there who just want a hookup because (1) we’ve just gotten out of a relationship and don’t want something serious or (2) we’re looking for some fun or (3) we’re just not in that stage of life where we want to settle (for anything).  Now – how to stay in that sweet spot without tripping off the alarms for the dreaded Define the Relationship talk?

Keep your distance. Don’t share too much about your life – especially your work, work schedule, family, or friends. You don’t want to get to know each other too much – otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a relationship.

Keep things light.  Don’t go on a real date.  Drinks are more than enough to get you both going. If you must eat food, don’t go to a real “sit down” place as there’s a chance it may mire you in deeper conversation (which you don’t want).

Keep the sex uninhibited and brief.  You want yours – so go get it. Do what you always wanted to do in bed because you can (you don’t have to worry about reciprocating or “being selfish”).  Spooning and cuddling post-coital is fine but keep your guard up because that’s when the pillow talk about “what the two of you are” may creep in. 

Avoid staying the night.  If you happen to pass out in a bed that is not yours, you have two options in the morning: (a) do it again and then bounce or (b) say that you have to meet a friend somewhere and hug (not kiss) goodbye.  The key is to leave on a happy – but not committed – note. 

Remain elusive. Text instead of calling and keep e-mails (if you guys are doing that) short. Allow some time in between texts. If you’re in it for a late night romp, begin correspondence around 8:00pm to allow for enough time for the both of you to finish dinner and rearrange any plans.  Bonus points if you’re able to catch him or her after happy hour when inhibitions are already impaired.

Finally, know when to call it quits.  You don’t want a relationship – so try not to suddenly find yourself in one.  A good rule of thumb is to limit your encounters to four or less.  You’ll also want to space out each encounter by at least two weeks.  If you find him or her wanting more, play dead for at least a month.  This will either restore the balance back to hook up status or, sadly, I guess you’re out a booty call.

Have any more insights into how to stay in the hook up zone?  You know I’m always interested in hearing about them!

TTFN,

Wiingles

P.S.  Over the next few weeks, We will be handing over the reins to fellow bloggers who know the California dating scene. You won’t want to miss them!

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Valentine’s Series – What do they really mean!?!?!

Fair warning to you all – this post will be a two-parter.  Part one is how to figure out if you’re prepared for Valentine’s Day. Part two is to make good on last week’s promise on a list of restaurants you should consider for February 14. 

If you’ve just started seeing someone, you’re kind of in no-man’s-land because you haven’t had the Define the Relationship Talk. To avoid a premature relationship implosion here’s how you can decipher expectations that you may need to meet – so listen up!

She Says: Valentine’s Day is lame.

What She Really Means: I actually like Valentine’s Day and you’d be stupid if you didn’t plan something for us to do.

She Says: My friends are doing something for Valentine’s Day.

What She Really Means: We better be doing for Valentine’s Day.

She Says: I heard that (fill in the restaurant name) books up fast.

What She Really Means: You better have made reservations at this restaurant or something comparable.

He Says: I need to travel for work for the next few weeks.

What He Really Means: I won’t be around for Valentine’s Day so don’t try to rope me into anything.

He Says: How about if we do something on (fill in any date from the beginning of February to February 13)?

What He Really Means: I’m not going to deal with the awkwardness of Valentine’s Day so we’re going to see each other before then and I’ll be off the hook.

Don’t freak out about all this double-speak.  You just have to know when to read between the lines – especially over the next few weeks or you may end up paying for it.

And now, onto the restaurants:

There’s a couple of places that might be good options for February 14.

Primitivo Wine Bistro – Venice. Laid-back romantic. Candle-lit and with white butcher paper tablecloths for you to doodle on. Avoid sitting in the middle of the restaurant (too much foot traffic) and near the bathroom (too smelly). All small plates are delish and the right size for sampling and sharing. Average dish price $15. Of course, since it’s a wine bar you should order wine.

Salt House – San Francisco. Urban hipster meets home cooking.  Long dark bar for you to enjoy pre-dinner cocktails.  Tables are set rather close together – so it’s better to lean in to have a more intimate conversation.  The oysters are a great starter and the poutine is sticks-to-your-ribs-good. Average entrée is $27.

Ippuku – Berkeley.  Atypical spot for atypical fare – and your date will thank you for it. Sit closer to the center of the restaurant for a better view of the sake offerings.  Order as you go because you’ll want to go for variety.

Okay – so off you go!  Let me know if you have more interpretations of what people really mean when they talk about Valentine’s Day.  I’d like to hear them!

TTFN,

Wiingles

[comiingleblog-blog]

Planning for Valentine's Day

It’s not even February and I’m going to talk about Valentine’s Day. Why? Because planning and knowing what to expect is key to having a February 14 that doesn’t suck. You walk a fine line on February 14 and knowing how to stay on that line is what will keep you from (a) fighting and breaking up; (b) moving to the next stage of the relationship way too fast; or (c) going crazy trying to find last minute reservations that won’t seat you with senior citizens or slot you in close 25 minutes to closing time.

So let’s talk first about expectations because this will determine your game plan.  Figure out where you stand in your relationship and what “typical” expectations are.

Now that you have rough idea of where you fall, you can move onto the prep work. This means:

Having an idea of the restaurant you’d like to go to.  Not sure? Check out Yelp, CitySearch, and BonApetite. We’ll help you out here, too, by scouting out a few restaurants and posting our findings in the next few articles. (We kick started it off with 1 restaurant – check out our review toward the end of article.)  

Making reservations soon (if not now). Many restaurants are super selective and require reservations up to 2 months in advance (French Laundry and Frances) or as little as 3 weeks in advance (Fleur de Lys, Lucques or Campanile – so mark your calendars and call on January 24).  Ask for a specific section of the restaurant, if possible. You don’t want to be sitting near the bar or by the bathroom if you want to have a nice, cozy dinner. If you need more ideas, check out OpenTable’s listing for Valentine’s Day restaurants. Don’t shy away from using OpenTable because it beats calling the restaurant and getting bummed that there are no reservations available for the time you want.

Getting clear on what you’re giving (if anything). This is a nod to those of you who are already in a relationship.  (And if you’re not sure if you’re in a relationship, you better get clear on that ASAP.  Expectations run high on Valentine’s Day.)  Know what’s a “good” gift and what isn’t. What’s “good”? Bouquet of flowers, a nice tie, or small jewelry.  What’s “bad”? Any sort of gift card. If you’re not sure, give it some thought because it’s pretty evident when there’s no thought in a gift (seriously, girls can instantly tell).

Planning for something before or after dinner.  Kick things off or end things right.  Consider ice skating, bowling, a walk in the park, or a drive along the coast. The key is to do something active – you don’t want to just head to the movies because then your Valentine’s Day becomes on par with a dinner and movie instead of “something more”.

Giving some thought to what you’re going to wear. You want to look hot. Period. So dress up because that’s what makes it a special occasion. But you should also plan on dressing appropriately if you’re going to be doing something before or after dinner (and tell your date, too).

And so now we move onto the good stuff – the restaurant review.  I picked up one of my friends and we scouted a few restaurants while pretending to be on a Valentine’s Day date.  Here’s the first review (calm down, there'll be more in the next article):

Frances

3870 17th St.  |   San Francisco, CA 94114   |   [phone]

Cozy chic (there’s a single row of tables for 2 or 4). Don’t sit deep into the restaurant as that’s where the waitstaff and bathroom goers congregate. Food is solid and beware of ordering too much because then you’ll miss out on dessert. Average entrée price $25. Menu changes regularly. House wine (red is mix of cabernet and merlot) can be ordered $1/ounce (which is a super deal if you can’t finish a bottle). Expect to spend around $130 for a full meal + wine + tax + tip for two.

What did we have?

Bacon beignets. Smoky bacon taste but a little too doughy inside.

Celery root soup. Amazingly creamy and the vegetables were firm yet tender. More? Yes, please.

Red snapper with mushrooms. Light in flavor but perfectly cooked.

Bavette steak. The black truffle jus was rich and aromatic. The steak was also extremely tender but not a bloody rare mess.

I'll provide you with more reviews next time.  Now get moving because you’ve got some planning to do!

TTFN,

Wiingles

[comiingleblog-blog]

Goodbye Failed Resolutions

I will no longer date losers. I will make sure to not drink before I go on a date.

Do these resolutions sound familiar?

We all ring in the new year by making resolutions and chances are that at least one of your resolutions relates to your dating life.  Come on, it’s okay to admit it.  After all, there are tons of articles floating out there right now from how women should make certain resolutions this year about how and who they date to resolving to broaden your dating criteria in hopes of finding someone new.

But, talk is cheap.  Keeping those resolutions is the hard part and we have some pointers on how to achieve those resolutions instead of just paying them lip service. We’ve pulled together some of the most common dating resolutions and here are some suggestions on how to keep them:

1.     Get (or maintain) a rocking body. We’re not shallow. We’re just saying how it is. Both guys and girls care about looks – so you better get that body into shape. (Bravo to you if you’re already sporting that six pack and/or super toned legs.) Not sure that you can keep it up at the gym?  Well, here’s some motivation. You’ll not only look better but you’ll feel better about putting yourself out there. 

2.     Look hot. When you look hot, you feel hot – and that spikes your confidence level. Get some new threads where people will notice you. Not sure where to start? Well, let’s work from NorCal to SoCal. Bay Area folks check out Ambiance, Candy Store Collective, Therapy, Picnic, Heidi Says.  SoCal peeps go to Kitson, BlackMarket, General Quarters, and Ted Baker. Also be sure to throw in a couple of facials and waxes.

3.     Do something “social” at least twice a month. This means getting to know people beyond your immediate circle of friends. Give yourself a little push. Check out Grubwithus – a site where you can find other singles to break bread with. You can also do some social culinary networking via DishCrawl. Being social will multiply who you will get to know and increase your chances of finding someone interesting.

4.     Get yourself an online dating profile  It’s the fastest way for you to get on the dating scene. Join Comiingle, eHarmony, match.com, and Okcupid (just to name a few). Make your profile have personality and include something provocative about yourself. Also scrap pictures older than a few month; people want to know how you look now instead of when you were rocking that mullet or decked out in disco gear from past Halloween.

5.     Be bold and do something outside of your dating norms. This may mean dating someone outside of your type or you taking the initiative to strike up the conversation. Be proactive.

So that’s it – five simple tips on how to keep those dating resolutions going. 

I’ll check in next week with a Valentine’s Day primer on what you need to do/where to go depending on where your relationship status is currently sitting.  It’ll be an eye-opener when you see what’s really expected for Valentine’s Day when you’ve just started dating.

TTFN,

Wiingles

[comiingleblog-blog]

What's this blog about?

Think of it as dating commentary. There are so many rules, myths and oddities that go along with dating - so why not open up that can of worms and talk about it?  You can expect stories from real life daters, advice on how to deal with the inevitable dating faux pas, and everything in between.  By the way, if it's not evident already, the blog is affiliated with Comiingle (woo hoo!).