A cute Phantom Thief/Police AU for @madlymiho! A nod to the many Phantom Thief Eros trope there was going around, but now with added evil mastermind Viktor!
For @communistfireworks, as part of the Fic Writer Halloween Exchange
Heya! I hope you like this piece! ^^
It’s a quiet day at the store – or maybe that’s just because it’s nearly closing time, and they’ve already turned the sign to 'Closed'.
“Yaku-san, what are your plans for tomorrow?”
Ah, that age-old question. He knew it was coming.
“Nothing much. I’ll come in to work, and then I’ll go home and watch TV or something.”
“You're not going trick-or-treating?”
“That’s usually for children, isn’t it?” Yaku turns to face his assistant, hiding his laugh at the young man's pout. “I’m not a fan of candy, so it’s never been my thing.”
“But it’s the spirit of the thing, isn’t it? Just going out is fun!”
“Not everyone has your energy, Lev,” Yaku comments drily. “Some of us are old and just want to stay home.”
“But you'll be home alone! That’s no fun either!”
“Don’t worry about me. Go take inventory in the back, I’ll take stock out here.”
The silver-haired teen pouts but turns away, recognising the dismissal. It doesn’t stop him from calling, “I can come over and keep you company tomorrow!” as he ducks out, and Yaku shakes his head.
It’s not that he wouldn’t mind the company, he supposes. But he’s already got a guest coming, and that’s enough trouble without his hyperactive assistant around.
-----
It’s 10pm, and Yaku is tired.
He knows he should go to bed, but with his visitor sure to appear in a few hours, he doesn’t know if he should.
A small nap couldn’t hurt. He’d be forcefully woken up when his guest arrives anyway.
He lies down on top of the covers, and promptly falls asleep.
-----
There’s deep rumbling behind him, and a comfortable heat. He turns into the warmth, acutely aware of the cold. The rumble turns into a chuckle, and he thinks – he thinks he feels something running through his hair. The action is gentle, and he drifts back to sleep.
-----
A furious buzzing and blast of music shocks Yaku awake, and he gets tangled in the blankets as he tries to get out of bed to turn the alarm off. The jarring tune yanks him to full consciousness as he finally manages to tap on his phone screen and turn the music off.
Yaku shakes his head as he trudges back to the bed, pulling the blankets straight. He’d just tugged on a corner of the material when it occurs to him.
That’s not my alarm tone. I don’t use that sort of music for alarms.
…did I fall asleep above or below the covers last night?
His eyes seek out a half-obscured lump on the far end of his bed, and he frowns. His tired mind puts two and two together, and a suspicion begins to take root.
The lump is fleshy and solid, and shifts away from his prodding fingers. He scowls and pulls the blankets off again, revealing a curled-up black cat.
He knows that shape. He knows this cat.
“Tetsurou, get out of my bed.”
The cat doesn’t move.
Yaku grumbles and climbs onto the bed, scooping the cat up and cradling it in one arm. It mews in protest, claws digging into his shirt, trying to wriggle away. He tightens his grip as he scoots off the bed, tugging the blankets straight before he allows the animal to fall out of his arms.
The black cat rights itself and stretches languidly, then sits down and curls its tail around itself, blinking innocently at him.
Yaku scowls. “You changed my alarm tone, you ass.”
The cat looks like it’s rolling its eyes at him. There’s a shimmer of red light, and a lanky man sits where the cat was before. The man flips his fringe out of his eyes to show his eye-roll.
“Please, your ringtone was so boring. You need something more energetic to wake you up.”
“I do not need to be woken up that violently in the morning. I wake up just fine with my calm alarm tone, thank you.”
“Such ungratefulness,” Tetsurou sniffs. “And here I thought I did you a favour by tucking you in last night.”
I knew I didn’t actually fall asleep under the covers.
“I was waiting for you, or else I would have tucked myself in. Thanks anyway.”
Tetsurou jerks upright from where he had been lowering himself onto the bed. “Aww, Yakkun! I didn’t think you liked me so much.”
“You would have woken me up if I was under the covers,” Yaku points out.
“Touché.”
Yaku smirks and turns to leave the room. “I need to get ready for work, but you can lie there for a while more.”
“Oooh, work! You found a job!”
“Excuse you, I am not always unemployed.”
“But you were most of the time.”
“I was in college, of course I was unemployed!”
“I hear you humans work in college, no?”
“Some do, but I prefer fully focusing on my studies, thank you. Now let me brush my teeth or I won’t make you breakfast.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Watch me.”
The sound of Tetsurou’s grumbling follows him all the way to the bathroom, and Yaku can’t help but snort at that.
-----
It’s a once a year occurrence, occasionally more, but some years, Yaku still wonders how he got saddled with a hellcat companion.
Not just any hellcat, but Tetsurou, the most obnoxious of all hellcats.
Not that he’s met very many hellcats, but Yaku still holds firm to the belief that Tetsurou must be one of those with a more horrible personality than most.
…as he is proving himself to be, yet again, by terrorising his assistant.
“So, Lev-kun, what are you doing? Shouldn’t those books be over there, in that other section?”
“The catalogue says they should be here, with the non-fiction. I’m just following instructions.”
“No, no, no, that says, fiction, see? And this over here, isn’t this a biography? Why would that be non-fiction, if it might not be a completely true account of a person’s life, given that the person in question is long dead and all the sources it was written from may not be very accurate?”
Lev gapes at Tetsurou, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Yaku sighs from behind his own pile of books, and stomps over to rescue his assistant.
“Kuroo, got sit in the corner and look at a cat book or something. Lev, sort the books by their labels and don’t listen to this nitwit.”
“But Yaku-san, are biographies really non-fiction?”
“If it was written about a real person, and sourced from reputable historical sources, it is non-fiction. Anything that was not made up is non-fiction.”
Lev looks like he wants to argue, and Yaku cuts him off. “We can discuss this later. Finish sorting and shelving the books, and we can discuss it if there are no customers.”
The silver-haired teen nods and scurries off, and Yaku turns to frown at an increasingly amused Tetsurou. “Stop bothering the boy.”
“Aw, but it’s so fun! He’s still a bit naïve, those are the best ones to play with.”
“You’re acting like a cat playing with its food again. Do not eat my assistant.”
“Aw, not even a nibble?”
“Don’t terrorise anyone I work with, I need a livelihood and you can’t be ruining that.”
“I am a gem, I don’t ruin anything,” Tetsurou declares loftily.
Yaku rolls his eyes and hits him with a cookbook. “Go look up mackerel recipes, why don’t you.”
“Only if you’re cooking.”
“You can’t cook, of course I’ll be cooking.”
“You’re no fun.”
“You’re a bad cat.”
“No, I’m the best cat.”
“Only in your imagination, Tetsu. Shoo.”
-----
“Kuroo-san, where are you from?”
Oh, boy. Yaku groans into the pile of books he’s scanning, hoping that Tetsurou would come up with a good answer and not cause problems for himself.
“Hell.”
Sometimes I really hate you, Tetsu.
Yaku can almost hear Lev’s eyes widening, can almost predict the words that he says. “Really? What’s it like?”
He hears Tetsurou laugh. “Do you actually believe that? I could be pulling your leg again.”
That’s it. He needs to witness this.
Yaku puts the scanner down and creeps towards the back room, just in time to see Lev shrug. “It’s Halloween, I’d believe anything.”
Tetusrou laughs again. “That’s a dangerous mentality, don’t you think? The more you believe, the more things out there will become visible, and they’ll come and get you.”
“So there are things out there?”
“Only as much as you believe.”
“Ghosts, vampires, werewolves, ghouls, demons? They’re all real?” Yaku can see Lev bouncing up and down, clutching a book in both hands.
“Like I said, kid, only as much as you believe.”
“Cool!”
Tetsurou shakes his head, a small smile in place. “I could still be lying, you know.”
“Doesn’t matter! It’d be cool anyway, because it’s Halloween, and other nights of the year won’t be affected, right?”
Ouch. Yaku sees how Tetsurou’s smile becomes a little strained, how the comment hits too close to home. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”
Obnoxious loud music startles all of them, and Lev and Tetsurou turn to stare as Yaku fumbles for his phone, swiping the alarm off. The sandy-haired man looks up and scowls at his friend. “Stop changing my alarm tones.”
Tetsurou shrugs. “I’d say the scare was worth it.”
Lev looks between them in confusion, and Yaku waves it off. “Anyway, that alarm means we’re off for the night. Lev, you can go, I’ll pack up.”
“I can stay! It’s fine!”
“It’s Halloween, and you have plans,” Yaku reminds him. “Go have fun. I’ll just be watching TV anyway, I can leave a little later.”
“But–”
“Kid, if your boss offers you time off, you gladly take the time off and run,” Tetsurou says. “Anyway, the earlier you go, the more time you’ll have to look for supernatural creatures.”
Lev lights up at the reminder. “Right! Bye Yaku-san, Kuroo-san! See you tomorrow!”
“Bye.”
“Bye! Have fun! Don’t get into trouble!”
They watch as Lev rushes to pick up his things, leaving with a last wave. Once the door clicks shut, Yaku turns to Tetsurou with a raised eyebrow, and the taller man shrugs. “He didn’t think I was telling the truth anyway.”
“That doesn’t mean you can be so candid about your origins,” Yaku scolds. “What am I going to say if he wants to call you and ask you more things?”
“The same story we always feed people. I come from an area with no cellular connection and no Wi-Fi and it takes an age to come visit me, so don’t bother.” Tetsurou shrugs and picks up a book, placing a price tag on it. “No one has asked more about me before, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”
“Except my last roommate, who wanted to keep you.”
“Eh, Inouka was okay. I went back in the end, didn’t I?”
“Only after we figured out that it was the building that was trapping you.” Yaku walks over and plucks the book from Tetsurou’s hand, replacing it on the table. Large hands capture his hips and pull him close, forcing him to turn his attention back to Tetsurou. The taller man smiles, and it looks almost fond.
“Well, I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy being trapped there, just a little bit.”
“I was feeding you mackerel every day, of course you enjoyed it.”
“Mmm, grilled mackerel.” Tetsurou tugs Yaku closer, resting his head on his shoulder and nibbling at his neck. “The most glorious food of all time.”
“I beg to differ.”
“You can differ all you want, but you like all sorts of food.”
“Speak for yourself, you glutton.”
“So we like food. Food is good. You don’t get good food in hell.”
“Do you actually get to eat the burnt offerings?”
“No, of course not.” Tetsurou snorts. “We guard the gates. If we get a nibble of any of the souls passing through, we’d be lucky. But nearly all of them taste bad.”
“No good souls in hell?”
Tetsurou leans back and stares at him. “Morisuke, I implore you to think about what you just said.”
Yaku scowls. “Yeah, yeah, only bad people go to hell, yada yada.”
Tetsurou rolls his eyes. “Glad you’re aware.”
“I’m not completely stupid.”
“Mmhmm. Keep lying to yourself. Now are we gonna go get food or what?”
-----
The clock’s ticking closer to midnight, and they are arguing over the blanket, pulling it back and forth in a tug-of-war.
“You’re always warm, give it to me.”
“But now I’m a bit chilly, so share.”
“No, take the other blanket.”
“No.”
They grapple for a while longer, until Yaku gives up and launches himself at Tetsurou, pressing their bodies flush together and tucking the blanket around them. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were going to complain that you’re too hot.”
“I’m always too hot for you, Morisuke, please.”
“I should kick you out of bed.”
“I’m flattered.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“You love me anyway.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine why.”
Tetsurou opens his mouth to respond, but freezes as he processes what Yaku just said. “You love me?”
Yaku sighs, knocking their foreheads together. “Of course I do, you dumb cat, why else do I put up with you visiting me once a year?”
“You love me.” Arms tighten around Yaku as Tetsurou leans forward, hiding his face in his shoulder. “Oooh, this is An Emotion.”
“You’re so dramatic.” Yaku turns his head sideways to kiss the shell of Tetsurou’s ear, the familiar scent of slightly burnt fur assaulting his senses. “Of course you’re my favourite hellcat.”
“I hope I’m the only hellcat you know.”
“I never leave the house on Halloween, how else am I going to meet hellcats or any other creatures?”
“Summoning circle?”
“Exactly why would I write a summoning circle?”
“Because you miss me and can’t wait another year to see me?”
“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Yaku says drily. “I’ll probably summon a demon and get myself killed.”
“You’re not that stupid.”
“Who knows. I’m not risking it, either way.”
“Hmm, alright.”
They lie in silence, still, breathing in the scent of each other and enjoying the other’s company. Somewhere in the house, Yaku can hear a clock ticking, counting down the seconds that they have left together.
“Hey, Tetsurou?”
A whisper in the darkness, the ominous tick tick tick hanging over their heads.
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad I met you, you know.”
“I won’t break this time, Morisuke. You can say the full words.”
Yaku snorts. “I kind of love you, rooster head.”
“I kind of love you too, my small human.”
“…you take that back.”
“Never.”
“I won’t cook for you ever again.”
“There’s street vendors, I’ll just steal off them.”
“You’re awful.”
“You’re awful.”
“Cat.”
“Human.”
“Eugh.” Yaku pulls away, only to slap his hands on both sides of Tetsurou’s face and yank him into a kiss. It’s hot and tastes like Yaku’s toothpaste – but what’s important is that they’re kissing – and Yaku doesn’t feel as if Tetsurou is trying to eat him.
They pull apart, gasping, and Tetsurou leans back in for another – a soft, gentle kiss this time, like a kitten nuzzling its mother.
“I’m going to miss you,” Yaku hears, before another kiss is pressed to his neck, and another, and another, trailing down until he feels a nibble on his collarbone. Yaku sighs wistfully, pushing Tetsurou away so he can kiss his nose, his forehead, his cheek – as many parts of him that he can get.
“I’ll miss you too.”
He can’t see, but he thinks Tetsurou might be smiling.
In the background of their repeated bickering and whispers, their kisses and declarations, the clock keeps going. Tick tick tick.
Soon, it will strike midnight, and the hellcat will return to his own realm until another year passes. Soon, they will be ripped apart, with nothing but the memory of kind eyes and teasing words to last them another year.
But maybe, just a hint of a scent will linger – the odd smell of fresh-cut grass, a whiff of burning sulfur.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Free!
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Characters: Tachibana Makoto, Nanase Haruka
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Never Met, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Meet-Ugly, Poor Makoto He Has Terrible Luck, Or does he
Summary:
Makoto is just trying to get to class on time. He's definitely not trying to spill his hot coffee all over the boy with really blue eyes. Though maybe it won't turn out all bad...
For @communistfireworks
Are y'all going to be hosting another event this year?
hi! unfortunately, i do not know of anyone planning to host a mcga secret santa this year :( i was only a guest/helper mod for this account last year, and i certainly don’t have the organization to run a secret santa atm, but if anyone else wanted to, i’d participate!
