#complex partial seizures

[ribbitflings]

convinced that god was on drugs when it came to epilepsy bc wtf is this

[juliamccartney]

i met with my neurologist again and holy shit

she said it took her forever to really make sense of my situation, and actually gave me the same basic diagnosis that i got from my very first neurologist

but she said i have a rarer form of epilepsy where you don't see any epileptic activity at all whatsoever outside of seizures (that's why i did the video EEG in the first place, the regular EEG didn't show anything)

also it's apparently quite unusual that the area where my epilepsy is "located" is in the non-dominant half of the brain

also she has absolutely no idea why i spoke in english when i re-gained consciousness

nice to have real medical confirmation that my brain is a very strange place

[brightlotusmoon]

I genuinely don't understand how the EEG got as spiky as the third photo when all I did was walk around the main room and eat lunch, then watch an episode of an incredibly violent angsty superhero cartoon. I didn't shake the brain box, I didn't exercise. I had a lot of creative thoughts while role playing online, working on a chapter, and blogging on Tumblr. Maybe that's it? The office stressed no exercise and I didn't even shake the brain box, I cradled it like a baby. Maybe cerebral palsy spasticity caused micro spasms? I mean, I don't think I seized. I'm a little shaky, but that's standard for me.

Brains are so weird.

[enmayy]

shit i had no idea auras were still technically seizures!? i haven’t had a seizure in years, only the occasional aura. but i’ve had like 7 auras in the past few days, now i’m freaking out god what the fuck

[brightmoonbitterfrost]

Does anyone else feel some serious anxiety in the days after their seizures?

Idk if it’s bc mine has changed in intensity or what but I cannot shake this anxiety, it’s really bad, I’ve had to take my klonopin every day since.

[captainfantasticspastic]

“So the doc said I have ____ Seizures. What does that actually mean?” An Updated Cheat Sheet

So you’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy. Great… what does that even mean?

“Epilepsy is a seizure disorder,” meaning you’re brain is more likely to send off mixed signals, than the next guy. But that’s alright, ‘cause I’m going to lay down the basics of what you need to know. Lol.

First, let’s get this straight: everyone is capable of having a seizure. You stick lil’ Timmy infront of a high speed strobe for long enough, sooner or later his brain will say “What the hell am I looking at? I can’t keep up!” And he’ll wind up on the floor.

Folks who have Epilepsy, like you and I, are no different. We see things, hear things, feel, and taste, just like any other human being. Okay? What I’m trying to get at here is you are not a freak of nature. You are not a mutant. Sadly, no, you do not have special powers to set objects aflame. (I know. That bummed me out too.) No! Instead, you’re just a normal dudelet - just chillin with the rest of the human race.

But what does makes us different, is that we have a lower seizure tolerance than most. That’s it. I know right? When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. That’s cause it isn’t. What is a big deal, are the seizures themselves, which I’ll get to in a hot minute.

So what IS a seizure? Great question. “… a sudden surge of electrical activity in the brain,” says The Epilepsy Foundation (epilepsy.com). Another, but equally scientific, definition describes it as, “the workers in your brain going, ‘What the actual fuck are we dealing with here?’ And proceeding to lose their shit,”

Pretty much, something - be it lights, lack of sleep, stress, booze, high pitched beeping, the sight of toast, whatever - will set off this seizure. This is called a Trigger. Triggers are things that our brains don’t generally enjoy. They tend to me things that could give a person headaches, or migraines; or make you feel out of sorts if you have to deal with them for too long. It is possible for some to “delay” a seizure, or even stave it off completely. Not everyone can do this though. I know someone who’s been able to prevent her seizures by sleeping with a foot on the floor. I (sometimes) can push one off if I feel one coming on, by either her being physically active or focusing on something solid, to remind myself im not floating away. But as I said, not everyone can do it. It depends on what type of seizures you have, and how in tune you are with your body. I only figured out my method after years of experimenting.

Anyway, so we got the basics. Back to….

Seizures! There are two major categories from which we have a variety of flavors.

There’s Focal and Generalized. The main difference between the two is how they start. Easy enough, right? (I’ve heard tell of a third classification “Unknown Onset”, but we’ll get into that later)

First we have Focal Onset: Focal seizures happen in specific parts of the brain - Sort of like a controlled mob.

Focal Onset Aware (aka Simple Partial): Im gonna be frank with you here. There are like a million types of Simple Partial Seizures. I probably won’t hit every kind, and I apologize if I’ve skipped someone out there. Ya know. My bad. Nonetheless I’ll do my best.

Simple Partials are pretty cool is that you are awake for them. Oh yeah. That’s right. You can have a seizure and be totally cognizant. These are the ones many refer to as “Auras”. Yeah, you know that “warning” you get before blacking out? That my friend is most likely a simple partial seizure. They’re like little seizures. Aw cute, right. No! They’re a pain in the ass! (Ehem. Apologies) anyway, as I said before, they can come in a whole bunch of types. To save time, I’m just going to give you a list of the effects:

Some people experience Deja Vu, out of body experiences, weird tastes in your mouth, (there’s emotional/psychological kinds) that’s make you have intense sorrow, or a sense of impending doom, others make you randomly filled with a god-like rage.

Others make your hands, fingers, toes, legs, etc twitch.

Some make it IMPOSSIBLE to find the right words/understand words/even read, and you suddenly feel illiterate and as if English is your second language despite being brought up in the US. (I’m not emotionally invested or anything).

Honestly, for these, you really should look it up yourself. I’ll be doing a separate post just for them, but nonetheless. It’s too important, and it’s one that truly is unique to the person.

Focal Onset Unaware (aka Complex Partial):

These are like simple partial seizures, but you’re NOT awake. Apparently many experience lip smacking during it. I wouldn’t know, because I’m out for the count. The one thing I do know is they can go into Generalized Seizures. This is not common however, that’s just the case for me.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Next we have Generalized: “Generalized” Seizure are seizures that effect both sides of your brain. *Imagine a stray cluster of teenage neurons are having a house party, and EVERYONE shows up.*. [Neurons are the little electric dudes that’s race around your head and make everything work/tell different parts of your brain what’s going on]

Tonic-Clonic (Motor): This is the big nasty one that people believe all seizures look like. The person loses consciousness, and convulses (shakes).

What It’s Like: They don’t hurt while it happens; but I’ll be honest with you, it can feel like you’ve been hit by a bus coming out of it. Basically, you’ve been clenching up and releasing muscles you didn’t even know you had over and over really really quickly. It’s like being super out of shape, and then made to do a triathlon athlete’s complete workout circuit in 2-5 minutes. At a weird angle, so you probably get dinged up along the way. So yeah. I’d describe it as waking up to limp noodles for tendons and joints, and fiery rocks for muscles. It’s sorta like how you’d imagine the hero of an action film would ACTUALLY feel like if the scenario were real.

Absence: these are super quick, but can happen MANY many times a day. They’re so quick that they’re almost impossible to notice. You stare for a few seconds, and snap out of it. I know, not very scary. What sucks is that you can lose time with them. So one second you’ll be lovin life, and suddenly, black, you forgot what you were saying, and a whole bunch of things that happened recently. This all comes back though, eventually.

Clonic Seizures: Unlike Tonic Clonic, these big and nasties happen while you’re awake. (Fun fact: Tonic is the part of the seizure where you stiffen and fall unconscious. Clonic is where you convulse). So needless to say, these can hurt. Actually, they do hurt. A lot. I’ve only had a couple in my time, thankfully, but it feels like everything’s described earlier for Tonic-Clonics, except you are wide awake the entire time to enjoy every bump, scratch, and uncontrolled spasm. Oh, and it feels like there are electric shocks going through you. At least it did for me. These tend to last a few minutes.

Tonic Seizures: these tend to happen in your sleep, but they don’t have to necessarily. The muscles in your legs, arms, or abdomen tense up for about 20 seconds. It’s relatively harmless, but can mean for some serious loss of balance if it happens while standing up. (Also they’re just a pain, and can wear you out, honestly)

Atonic: These I’ll admit, can be spooky. Basically your muscles go limp for about 15 seconds at a time. So you might now be able to hold your head up; or suddenly you drop everything cause your arms go out. It’s not fun. It’s actually less than 15 seconds, but some people can have a bunch of these in a row. If its bad enough, some may consider wearing a helmet, if a fall hazard arises.

Myoclonic: Muscles will jerk as it electricuted. Apparently these seizures can start in the same part of the brain as Atonic, and many who have one have been known to experience the other.

So that’s what you missed on Glee! Any questions, comments, moans or groans, shoot em up my way! If anyone has any knowledge of Tonic Clonic Seizures, id love to hear it! And if I missed anything, please let me know!!

Hope this can be of some help for you newbies out there, (or for you other folks like I who never got the full story on their diagnoses til much later lol)

And don’t worry friend. I know Epilepsy is rough. I know it sounds scary, but you’re going to be fine. You’ve got an entire community who has your back :) So hang in there Kiddo!

Sincerely,

Captain Fantastic Spastic

[novofly]

Complex Partial Seizures (Or Whatever)

I am desperately searching for a clear definition of the word ‘crazy’. Not in a dictionary, but within my own mind. My mind presents me with something, not an image or statement or anything so tangible. Not even a thought, not even an idea. Just some chemicals, perhaps. Neurotransmitters. The currents of my brain flow back towards me, wherever it is that I reside, in there, and they tell me that the definition of the word ‘crazy’ is, in fact, me.
I try to fight against this, but how can I? I don’t even know what I’m fighting against. It isn’t a thought. It isn’t an idea. My sub-conscious fixes me with a tired stare, doesn’t gesture, doesn’t blink. Perhaps her eyebrow raises, an infinitesimal amount, and the waves crash down upon my being once again.
They don’t come with a message, they are not a symbol or a metaphor. They are simply there, and I find my own self saying ‘You. You are crazy.’ Deep breaths. See, there. I’m back in the room. I can still feel the mattress underneath me and the cool breeze from the open door. But something, innately physical and yet somehow completely psychological tugs at my chest. As if a soup ladle has scooped it’s way under my heart and is now gently attempting to remove it. They call this the aura. I know it means the seizure is coming. My thoughts writhe and fizzle. Like some mad scientist has combined fireworks with snakes and set them free inside me. Memories come marching towards me, in a constant stream. Perhaps some are real, I suspect most are not. They did not deign to wear a label or tag. There are no armbands declaring ‘fake!’ and so I build a blockade and send them off in another direction. A few still get through and begin to haunt me.
Each time one emerges I relive it, imagine it, whatever it, try push it away. I feel the soup ladle tug, a little harder. My body freezes. 
Deep breaths, deep breaths. Back in the room.
Once the memory is pushed away it disappears forever. Or at least that’s what I think. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the same one each time. How would I know? I never remember them afterwards.
But it’s so clear, I remember that. So vivid. So much a part of my life. As it flows away from me, I cannot comprehend that this thing is not truly a real experience. For a few seconds I feel as if someone has informed me that I have a different name, and I just have to accept it. I can’t say ‘hang on, wait a minute, I’m sure that was my name!’ because I know I imagine things that aren’t real but seem real and I know they slip away and I know I can’t trust anything my brain tells me anymore.
My mind is muddled and fuzzy and I am being accosted with a million thoughts that I cannot comprehend, and what is worse is that I’m pretty sure some of them are wonderful ideas. But they tease me. They dance in front of me, gyrating their hips and waving a feather across the bridge of my nose. And then slink away. And then others come and these ones aren’t wonderful. I am aware, dimly, that this is a seizure, but the thoughts do not let me stray away from them. They grab at me, at my heart, at my stomach, at my lungs. They shout that they are real and I, under intense duress, can only agree. They hold me hostage and within seconds I get Stockholm Syndrome, they are real, they are real. They tell me they’re real and I need them to be real.
And then they smile at me, smugly. Raise their chin. Deliver a cold, back-handed slap across my face and declare me a fool. We’ve never been real, they say, you fool, you fool, you crazy fool.
They slither away, release me from their chains and I fall, hard, onto the frozen, cement floor. Shockwaves course up my body. I need to be sick. I was holding onto them, so dearly, that the release was worse than their control over me.
Who am I? Was I that person, that they told me I was, or somebody else? Where am I? Deep breaths, deep breaths. Back in the room. In what room? What room is this? It’s a bathroom. I came to be sick, I suppose, but how did I get here? I don’t know, I have no memory of it. I sit on the floor and take a few breaths. Try to think.
But my logic has left me on my own. It’s gone on leave, due to stress. ‘Emotions in charge until further notice’ says the hastily scribbled post-it note stuck to my door. Emotions? I give them a brief try and immediately push them away again. They’ve never worked well under pressure.
Best not to think then. Head in hands. Deep breaths. Logic pokes it’s head round the door. Tells me to get out of this bathroom. Disappears again. Right. Up. Out. Where am I? Where was I? What parts of my brain can I trust?
Back to the mattress. Thoughts writhing. Fizzling. Dancing. Teasing. Tormenting. Crushing. Gaining my trust and abandoning me. Is this my mind, now? Is this where I live? This used to be such a nice neighbourhood.
Now I don’t know anyone. Who can I ask, to borrow sugar? Half of these neighbours would attack me. Who can I trust? Not myself, for the thoughts are me and I am the thoughts. I am the neighbours. I am the neighbourhood. I'm writhing and fizzling. I’m teasing. I’m tormenting. I’m attacking. And I can’t, dammit, I can’t even trust myself. Deep breaths. Deep Breaths. What is the definition of ‘crazy’?

[real-did]

how can you tell if you are having the seizures you have mentioned? i am too nervous to tell my parents. are there any particular signs? i have headaches a lot but i was told that was due to my system.

You’ll need to talk to your general practitioner or psychiatrist first. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve been prescribed anti-seizure medications (that can also help with mood/serve as psychiatric medications sometimes) like... 3 or 4 times through different doctors. For me, the fact that the medications didn’t do anything to help was enough testing to show my symptoms weren’t due to seizures Other people had to see neurologists to get an EEG to rule out seizure activity. 

Complex partial seizures are the only types of seizures you may remember having. They tend to last a couple of minutes, and what happens during them varies from person to person. Most people will become disconnected from what’s going on around them, stare into space, and will take up some automatism (an unconscious action) like picking at their clothing. In more rare cases, they may talk, sing, cry, go for a walk, etc. Here’s a link to more information. Complex partial seizures cause impairments in memory and brain fog, which can look a lot like dissociation or worsen it if you already dissociate. 

Most of the time, people who are heavily dissociating can be brought back to attention. People suffering from seizures usually cannot be until the seizure is over. 

I’d say something like, “Hey, I’m having frequent migraines, and I’m concerned that I might be experiencing absence or complex partial seizures. If left untreated these can be dangerous. I’d like to see a neurologist or my doctor to make sure that’s not going on.”