#conclave headcanon

[bird-metaphor]

This is bellesco to me

[benitez-my-beloved]

[mrstedescollitto]

Silly Tedesco Headcannons

Fan favourite and favourite of mine too: He was far to involved in the lives of their nephews/nieces, baptized them, made their confirmations and first comunions

He was the uncle that would sneak candies or sweat treats for all the children of the family

In fact, that was his primary way to show love to other people - through food, what he lacked the most growing up

Which makes it the more important that he asked Lawrence to come over to his table and served him wine, despite being a fascist he is still a nonno

Strict dad - soft grandfather pipeline but with his nieces and nephews. They remember him for being the conservative uncle priest that would scold them for short skirts or swear words, but when he grew old and had grand nieces and nephews suddenly he was a fluffy loving nonno that brought candies and gifts for the children

He would still blow smoke in their faces since they were newborns

Which leads me to my favourite HC: He has a favourite Gen Z grand niece, she is the youngest so of course she is spoiled rotten

Tedesco caught her vaping once and she went "I will let you take a hit of this but don't tell mom please."

The rest is history

They exchange cartiges and always bring eachother new vape flavours

Thinks its funny to give alcohol to minors

Has no spatial awareness and is completely foreign to the concept of "personal space"

No one can tell if he is being serious or joking but he himself is also terrible at reading the room

A more surrealistic HC of mine is that he truly believes that the other cardinals like him or at least don't find him completely obnoxious, like, no self awareness at all.

Soft spot for kids and babies but is terrible with them, like every baby he's baptized cries in his arms

Y'all are free to debate me on this one or any

If you like my Tedesco content feel free to skim through my Young Tedesco x OCfem fanfic

Chapter 1 - Ecce: Femina

[cabinwolf]

"Your Holiness, duck!" (Goffredo ver. 😡🤬🥊)

Pope Innocent XIV is about to get attacked on a public appearance.

His closest Swiss Guardsmen be like, "Your Holiness, duck!" and jump to his protection.

But Vincent also tries to shield them because he's too used to protecting his people back in the war zone.

Goffredo Tedesco, who happens to be the closest cardinal, gasps and tries to shield the already shielding Vincent.

(He never thought about his bulk and the squareness of his shoulders to protect others like this, but perhaps that is why God created him this way.)

After the attacker is apprehended - a guy who claims the pope to be heretic for his forward views on intersex people from his recent homily (or pick your favourite theme, really) - Goffredo approaches him.

He's almost losing it, shouting hard words in Italian, gesturing and gesticulating wildly, to the point that he almost throw not only one but two of his vapes (he has a back up) to him.

Everyone watching: ✨Ooh, he's giving a strong son going, "Don't you dare hurting my mother!" We likey! ✨

Some people cannot help but to record the event with their phone.

The public likes that (the media goes "Cardinal Tedesco Shielding Pope Innocent in Public Last Sunday!" "Patriarch of Venice Being Protective of Il Papa")

Goffredo keeps being asked and interviewed about this and he, surprisingly, doesn't dislike it.

No other cardinal really dare to tease him about it, considering the way he clashed with the current Holy Father back in conclave...

... Except Vincent himself, who goes, "Sooo, I take it you like me enough now, Cardinal Tedesco?" 😌

Goffredo gapes, splutters, "W-well! Well, God chose you to be our leader, Your Holiness, and I am merely protecting what He had chosen." 😳

Vincent just smiles (a little smugly and knowingly) and gives some really nice pats to Goffredo. 😇

The entire Venice and Vatican and Italy and the Catholic church gets to witness Goffredo Tedesco to be smiling regularly, widely for weeks to follow.

(A follow up-ish to this; shout out to @turtle-owl & @acf2023 for further ideas on Goffredo's "Route" (lol))

[owl-nerd-13]

Pope Innocent XIV's fun party trick: As long as he feels he is in a safe place, he can fall asleep literally anywhere. His office, the turtle pond, helicopters, he's out like a light. One memorable time, a group of Cardinals walked into a room to find the Pope sound asleep, fully upright, just slightly leaning against a wall. Eminenza Tedesco had to be physically restrained from conducting an exorcism.

On the flip side however, if he feels like he is in danger, it's basically impossible for Vincent Benitez to fall asleep. Neither meditation, nor chamomile, nor sleeping pills, nor sheer exhaustion is capable of changing this fact. One time while on a tour, the monastery used a certain type of bleach to clean, and he spent an entire week wide awake, powered by coffee and pure stubbornness.

[jolie-goes-rome]

When Ray O'Malley goes back to Dublin to visit his family, he makes sure to time his visits so he gets to watch his favourite Gaelic Football team play. He puts on team jerseys and shouts himself hoarse in the stadium, then goes and has a pint or two with his brothers and the other lads at a pub with live music afterwards and never gets home before two. With the exception of his brothers and two or three very old friends from his school days, none of the other guys have the faintest idea what his day job is. They have no clue that he’s a Monsignor who walks around the Vatican in skirts and a funny little purple hat, pretends to prefer Gregorian Chant to good, honest Irish folk rock, and spends a lot of time in the same room with the actual goddamn Pope. To them, he’s basically just Ray from Clondalkin, and Ray wouldn’t have it any other way.

[yourbluepinguin]

HC: How the main-members of the Curia would protect and defend Thomas Lawrence

Not sure, if this has been done before, but I recently thought about how the main-cast of "Conclave" would come to Thomas' aide, if he was treated horribly by another person.

In this headcanon this person is his brother (no reason at all, could also be another member of his family or the Curia, an old "friend" or whoever).

The relationship between the two brothers is not good at all. His brother always looked a bit down on him, at the same time he is jealous of Thomas for his career and standing within the church and the Vatican (Thomas' brother is part of the clergy as well, but never had his success).

So one day he comes visiting Thomas (for one reason or another) and while at first everyone thinks their arguments are the usual banter between siblings, it becomes clear pretty quickly, that it is not. Thomas' brother makes snide remarks regarding his work, makes fun of his looks and pretty much mocks everything he does. He does that all while remaning quite charming and to an outsider it would look like genuine concern and help from one brother to another.

But Thomas' friends and colleagues could not be fooled so easily and would get into action, to get rid of this unwelcome guest.

Ray would just schedule a lot of important meetings where Thomas could avoid his brother. Most of the appointments would be with the Holy Father, so no, he really, really can't meet up with his brother, so sorry (the meetings with Vincent would involve a long afternoon at the turtle pond or a work dinner with nearly no talk about work). At the same time, Ray would collect every information he could get about Thomas' brother in the hopes to get some dirt on him and therefore out of the Vatican.

Aldo just hates Thomas' brother. He didn't forget, how he never visited Thomas during his cancer treatment and how abandoned Thomas felt by his family during that time. Aldo remains civil and polite towards Thomas's brother for his friends sake, but also isn't shy to show his contempt when Thomas isn't around. He calls Giulio at one point, because if someone knows how to get rid of an (political) oppenent, it's Cardinal Sabbadin (who's happy to help).

Sister Agnes is a bit more subtle. Suddenly all the food that is served involves at least one ingredient Thomas' brother doesn't like. He needs to change rooms, because of renovations to his original room that could not be delayed (he get's one that is a lot smaller and uncomfortable). Of course none of this could be traced back to Agnes. Small inconveniences happen, don't they?

Even Tedesco - who, for some reason (*cough* a certain liberal cardinal *cough*), visits the Holy See more often than ever - catches up on the strained relationship between the two brothers. So every time he sees them talking to each other and notices Thomas shrinking into himself, he just barrels right in between them and claims an urgent, private conversation with the Dean and drags him away. When he's alone with Thomas' brother, he pulls out his Vape and starts smoking like a chimney, because he heard Thomas' brother mention, how much he hates smoke.

Meanwhile Vincent showers Thomas in love. He compliments him nearly all the time, hugs him when possible, sings his praises in front of his brother. Vincent spends even more time than usual with Thomas and tries to make him understand how loved he is by everyone (and by Vincent, especially by Vincent). Thomas is a little confused by the attention, but very delighted and happy nevertheless.

When things finally escalate one day between Thomas and his brother, Vincent asks Thomas's brother for a private conversation. He doesn't hold back and makes it very clear, should he treat Thomas this way ever again, even the wrath of God will pale compared to what Vincent is willing to unleash upon him (backed by the intelligence Ray gathered and the scheming Aldo and Giulio had done).

Thomas, who isn't as oblivious as some might think, sees what they're all doing. He doesn't understand, why they are doing it, but he prays for their well-being each and every night.

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

y'all idk what's happening but basically i've created an intricate mental web where thomas and aldo are exes and now aldo and goffredo are hatefucking and thomas and vincent are doing something holy and unholy and dogwife at the same time and it's a fucking tangled MESS that's become my mental canon and it's making me insane