what do you do when you feel stuck? I should strive for power but. it also isn't what is desired of me. what do you do when it's a power that can cause division? I've played it over and over in my head for a week or so. i hate it. i shouldn't be so fixated. but maybe it will help in what is desired of me? I hate thinking this way. it wasn't in the plan. none of that night was. or the ride home. nothing has been going right. but why don't I feel like it's a bad thing? but I do? it's both. it's a bad thing.
I should stay on course, and focus on my goals. but what if the feeling i felt that night will help with my goals? i dont know why it would but. it's empty here. it's not empty there. it's empty feeling alone. I'm not alone over there. maybe I can do more over there to achieve my goals. yeah. god, I dont know anymore.