#cozymamma

[cozymamma]

Our entire household has been hit with an illness since last week. I, surprisingly, was the last to get sick. I am usually the first. It kills me seeing my sweet boys feel so yucky. My eldest has gone the sleep-it-off route and my youngest is throwing himself about, inconsolable. 😔

Husband and I simply have no energy. Sitting upright costs us so much let alone daily activities... and the COUGH is horrendous. I don't think this will pass anytime soon with how we're all feeling....

[cozymamma]

Early labor has begun! Contractions are steady and far apart, so it looks like it'll be slow going. But still exciting. I feel like babe will be here by the weekend. I'm okay with this (I'm tired, hurting, and it'll be stormy).

We almost have the bassinet ready, and I just need to pack a couple more things for baby and I.

So ready, so ready. Cmon baby!!

(Thank you @hixorkicks 💙🤞🌟🤞💙)

[cozymamma]

I would love nothing more than to sit in my rocker and crochet/knit for myself and my family.

But these arthritic/carpal tunnel hands say NEJ

I'm 27.

I just wanna make blankies, sweaters, and socks. My hands won't let me.

F r u s t r a t i o n

🧵🧶🧦👐🚫🙃😤

[cozymamma]

Uff da. It's suddenly 3 months in now. I didn't realize that much time had passed.

I had continued blood pressure issues. Frequently going into stage 1 and 2 hypertension. It was a whirlwind of issues postpartum which is why I've been absent.

There was one weekend where I went into either stage 1 or 2 and was basically comatose. My partner couldn't get me to wake up. He took care of our toddler and our newborn, which had to have been difficult since he is exclusively breastfed and won't take a bottle. (And still worked his O/N shift!)

He finally got me conscious enough to ask about my bp meds but I was too disoriented and took too much which put me into hypotension and was comatose again for another day/night. 3rd day I was in and out then 4th day was finally recovering okay.

My bp toggled wildly for a few weeks more after that then suddenly stopped and leveled out and I've been fine ever since. Not really sure what happened. But it was scary. I had no memory of those days (apparently I did wake up in 30 second snippets here and there and conversed but again no memory)

When I finally leveled out it deeply disturbed me how debilitated I was. No memory no capability of caring for myself or my children. Like I said, comatose for a few days. Hated it. Still do.

But I'm on the mend health-wise. Bp has been stable. I'm going to physical therapy now which I have high hopes for. My back and hips have also become debilitating pain-wise. There are times the pain hits so hard I can't move, leaving me stuck wherever I'm at.

There have been a couple times I've gotten stuck in the shower for 30+ minutes because I couldn't move. (For the record I need to sit and sometimes lie down after or while showering, so that's how I've gotten "stuck")

But fingers crossed for PT helping with it.

Toddler just had his birthday which was fun. We did a spooky theme. He got quite overwhelmed though, with all the company. Not just a typical toddler overwhelmed, but socially we are very secluded so the sudden wave of family and friends was a bit much for him. I'd say the day was still a success. After a quick nap he came right back down and the party continued smoothly.

New babe is going strong. Like I said, exclusively breastfed, and doing amazing. I'm actually an overproducer. I make between 1 and 1½ gallons a month EXTRA. Which I've donated to a local mamma regularly.

It's such a good feeling. My first relied upon my milk, my good friend's milk, and my partner's co-worker's wife's milk. Since I underproduced. But now it has reversed and I can now do the same for other mammas what was done for me.

Something about well breastfed babies just tickles me they always seem to be chunkier. He seems to be slightly ahead of the game development-wise. Rolling over and crawling. I believe he's teething now too. He's had crazy head control and excels at tummy time.

Though I know, every babe goes at their own pace and all are different. My toddler took his time for a lot then suddenly thrived. A lot of his issues were self confidence though, he wanted to walk and etc but always was too scared to go for it. Then once he realized he could DO THE THINGS he's barreled into life ever since. 😅

Babe just last week was finally introduced to my partner's family (they're a lot more spread out than mine so them all getting together is rare) and of course that was fun. My partner's family is one of those families where you show up with children and they get whisked away to play with cousins, aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc. So you don't know where they are at any given time but you know they're safe with a family member and can easily track them down.

My family is so timid and waits ages to ask to hold baby and even then it isn't for that long. Both is fine. I do prefer my partner's family though, in that regard. The socializing and openness. They all barrel through existing and honestly I love that.

Well, apologies for the m.i.a spell. I'll leave this very long update as-is. Have a wonderful night/morning. 🌙☀️

[cozymamma]

Midwife said baby is super low, measuring a week ahead, and labor could happen anytime. She also mentioned babe is definitely going to come out bigger than my first. Aha, bring it on!

I'm packing my bags tonight and tomorrow.

I hope he comes within the next week. It's supposed to be very stormy for the next week/week½. I'd love a rainy babe. My first was born right before a seasonally early falling of snow.

[cozymamma]

I finally got my books moved over from our old house!! I've been itching to read my stockpile that I haven't had the chance to even open yet.

Plus all this good, stormy weather lately. Just feeling cozy and happy I can hunker down with one of my books. It has been a while. Too long, in fact.

Happy Reading 😌🍵📖

(Not my image) ♡

[cozymamma]

Update: 💙⚘

Life has been pretty much on hold for a couple of months. My health took a turn and I've been home and in bed most of the time. I got my results. I got my dysautonomia-pots diagnosis. Learning hacks from others who also have it/similar conditions has been my saving grace.

The pots/disabled communities I've been poking my head into have been very helpful and kind, and have made this reality so much easier to handle. I've struggled with this for most of my life. So seeing others validate the hard days, and give hacks to help make better days, was amazing.

I wanted to say so much more in this update but I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.

[cozymamma]

I HURT MY BACK

FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS

IT'S BAD

IT'S REALLY BAD