~♡MammaLife♡~

Svensk mamma just navigating life. Sharing thoughts, events, even some traditions. Just telling my story on a humble page.

[my-random--thoughts-deactivated]

[cozymamma]

This is what we do with our littles. ♡

[cozymamma]

Update: 💙⚘

Life has been pretty much on hold for a couple of months. My health took a turn and I've been home and in bed most of the time. I got my results. I got my dysautonomia-pots diagnosis. Learning hacks from others who also have it/similar conditions has been my saving grace.

The pots/disabled communities I've been poking my head into have been very helpful and kind, and have made this reality so much easier to handle. I've struggled with this for most of my life. So seeing others validate the hard days, and give hacks to help make better days, was amazing.

I wanted to say so much more in this update but I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.

[cozymamma]

Well I saw my cardiologist today and I'm on a heart monitor for the next couple of weeks. (I have little faith in them but he insisted)

Now I'm awaiting the call to schedule the actual test for dysautonomia. 🤞🏻 I'm just ready for answers.

[cozymamma]

We've had a looooooooonnggg day. Eldest has had trouble sleeping lately, even naps. Then today, alongside overtired crankiness, he's got a tummy issue going on. Today was filled with mostly crying and screeching. Comforting snugs and hugs, and oatmeal.

Thankfully my youngest had a completely smooth sailing day. My husband woke up a little earlier than he planned to before work, so he took over with the eldest to give me a break.

I feel utterly drained. Physically. Emotionally. I can only imagine how my toddler feels. Outwardly he seems to be gradually getting better.

What a time. ♡

[cozymamma]

I HURT MY BACK

FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS

IT'S BAD

IT'S REALLY BAD

[cozymamma]

I feel as though my body is dissociating from me vs the other way around.

[cozymamma]

I haven't been able to eat much. What food I do manage to keep down, explosively exits the other direction. Too personal? I don't care much at all anymore. This has seemingly hit me the hardest.

My husband and the boys are a little rough but doing alright considering. I have the explosive g.i. upset symptoms. (On top of the usual symptoms) Nobody else does.

I can't stay upright for more than maybe 30 seconds at a time. When I push it longer, I get quite dizzy and shaky. My extremities start to tingle and I go cold. I sweat profusely. But am cold.

My entire body hurts.... muscles... joints... bones... everything... HURTS...

I just want this to end. I miss being myself. I miss being able to take care of the boys let alone myself.

[cozymamma]

Our entire household has been hit with an illness since last week. I, surprisingly, was the last to get sick. I am usually the first. It kills me seeing my sweet boys feel so yucky. My eldest has gone the sleep-it-off route and my youngest is throwing himself about, inconsolable. 😔

Husband and I simply have no energy. Sitting upright costs us so much let alone daily activities... and the COUGH is horrendous. I don't think this will pass anytime soon with how we're all feeling....

[cozymamma]

Cov+ finally got us. We haven't caught it all these years. (4?) We had a good run. Now to get through it.

[cozymamma]

Our entire household has been hit with an illness since last week. I, surprisingly, was the last to get sick. I am usually the first. It kills me seeing my sweet boys feel so yucky. My eldest has gone the sleep-it-off route and my youngest is throwing himself about, inconsolable. 😔

Husband and I simply have no energy. Sitting upright costs us so much let alone daily activities... and the COUGH is horrendous. I don't think this will pass anytime soon with how we're all feeling....

[cozymamma]

Had to zoom in quite a bit on my husband's phone this morning to capture the fog that settled over our neighbor's property across the way. Beautiful. I love fog.

[cozymamma]

Gods my body has shut down 3x today. I fell asleep in my 3yo's room earlier. On the floor. Woke up to him sitting next to me quietly patting/rubbing my shoulder. Just. Being there with me. 🥺😓💙

He is such a sweet bean. I kept dozing after that because I couldn't quite wake up right away and he sat with me almost the whole time, occasionally patting me. Last time I woke up to him sitting down and getting situated and he held my hand and asked if I was okay. Uff da. He is a hell of a sweet kid and he's just turned 3 a few days ago.

I remember in my dozing/fuzzy states I was aware of his presence, going elsewhere in his room then sitting back down next to me. I remember opening my eyes briefly a handful of separate times to see him sitting there peering down at my face just, checking. Making sure I was good and probably also simply curious.

I feel guilty for being so dead-tired I crashed on his floor but my heart is so warmed by the interaction on his part. Good kid. Good bean.

[cozymamma]

1 yo is better! It lasted a few more days but now he is back to his rowdy self.

It's my almost 3 yo's birthday tomorrow! Bonfire birthday awaits.

🔥🌌🥳👦🏼🗓📷

Which brings me to one of our family's traditions! We take one last photo of our child(ren) the night before they're older. We call it "The Last Night Of Ages"

We snap a photo within the hour leading up to midnight, typically of them sleeping peacefully. The last moment of them at ( x ) age. It's very bittersweet.

Tonight, in a matter of hours, I will be snapping such a photo of my eldest. It may be cliché, but I feel like I just had him this morning. His birth has been replaying in my mind. It's so vivid, like a movie behind my eyes.

He is currently romping about the sitting room and I'm enjoying the youthful ruckus. How the time flies by...

😌🥰🍂

[cozymamma]

1yo is battling fever...

Day # 3

[cozymamma]

Round 3 for our dove family ❤🕊🕊

[cozymamma]

We eventually lost track of how many babies were hatched in our little pot hanging at the front door. 🥺🥰 It was a blessing being a safe nesting place!!

[cozymamma]

🍂Autumn Equinox is nearly upon us!🍂

Our closest friends and family are visiting to feast during the equinox. Can't wait. 🥂🥧🍗

[cozymamma]

We had a massive pot of soup in little gnome mugs because yes.

My friend brought fabric to make our own cozy blankets out of.

We had wine and were crafting away "like a couple of old biddies" (her words and I love it) sitting in our respective chairs in the main room. Sipping wine. Giggling. While a storm raged outside.

The best.

[cozymamma]

I've only just started so it's my first attempt at a basic blanket but I'm doing it!! Little by little because my hands hurt so much still but !!!!

I discovered the hook I was using from the store was an abomination of a tool (for me)

So I picked up my late mother-in-law's old hook and ????? I could suddenly do it ????

Now the type of hook was different. It was pointier and the cut of the hook was much deeper. (But I also like to imagine she's encouraging me through it. 😊)

POINT IS

I was so discouraged for so long about not being able to crochet and here I am making my first blanket. I'm happy.

I'm going to make all of the things.

[cozymamma]

🍂Autumn Equinox is nearly upon us!🍂

Our closest friends and family are visiting to feast during the equinox. Can't wait. 🥂🥧🍗