Everyone copes differently. We tell ourselves stories to facilitate our coping mechanisms. We judge others on their coping mechanisms, largely associated with actor - observer bias. Judging is also more acceptable (common) than I had previously thought.
Gratitude for the courage of those who have gone before me.
Humility. You don't always have to say something.
I canât extend myself to others all the time as a support system when I donât receive the same back . Iâve been having a hard time with this. I love to help people but itâs hard when I donât have the help and support myself.
I learned my already low expectations were in fact too high all along.
I need to learn to practice equanimity. Calling in has been a new one for me too. I have been known to have a hot head - this summer checked my ego. I am better for it - learning to listen more.
I need to slow down and listen more. People have shit to say and I need to get out of my world and pay attention sometimes.
I need to take the time to listen more and not be so assertive with my own opinions.
If I donât feel safe in a situation, I donât have to feel guilt for leaving, and there are lots of people doing important things, so itâs okay to choose between projects and actions.
it is okay if things take a long time
Relationship communication
So many people have it so much harder than I do, and while it is important that I do my best to be a good community member.. I shouldnât be beating myself up for ânot doing enoughâ
Sustainable self-motivation
itâs okay to make enormous changes in your life, not everyone will support you or understand, but those who are most directly affected can support you
The system can't be changed from the ballot.
The gift of giving, as cheesy as it sounds I was able to give this year more than ever before. I made a giving list. Itâs a learning process that feels really good.
The rights of the individual are sometimes pitted against the benefit of the whole community which makes each issue inherently difficult to solve in ways that have been successfully employed in other countries. This is an inherently American condition, and I am not sure how anything can move forward when these two opposite forces collide.
There is a lot wrong with our society.. a lot of people are working very hard to educate and create change.. it is easy to get caught up in the feeling that no amount will ever suffice/I am not doing enough to support change and the community. That kind of self talk is toxic.. I have to just do the best I can.
There is no thing such as reverse racism. Also I will make mistakes as I learn. That doesnât make me a bad person.
Itâs ok to change your ideas when you get new information.
My perspective is not the only perspective.
Over focus on an issue will have a opposite reaction than the intended action
Patience, that changes donât happen overnight and you have to put in sustained, long-term effort.
Quit the thing thatâs hurting you.
So many people have it so much harder than I do, and while it is important that I do my best to be a good community member.. I shouldnât be beating myself up for ânot doing enoughâ
Sustainable self-motivation
That itâs okay to make enormous changes in your life, not everyone will support you or understand, but those who are most directly affected can support you
That the system can't be changed from the ballot.
I am not my history. I have the power to write my own narrative. Nothing matters in a cold world but offering space for less suffering. I can hold these dualities without sinking.
